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It’d been a day since.. everything. The ship was quiet. Even with eachother on the ship it felt incredibly lonely. The place reeked of death and sadness, even if they ‘won’, it wouldn’t bring any of them back.
They were gone. Green, Orange, White, Blue, Lime, Cyan, Yellow, Brown, Black. All of them died. It was Red’s fault. Red was meant to watch over everyone, how could they let this happen..?
“Red?”
They let their crew die. One job, Red had one job. Couldn’t even do something as simple as keep everyone and everything okay.
“Red!” Purple said, hands on the captain’s shoulders, shaking them slightly. Red’s gaze went from the wall to Purple’s visor. They’d been zoning out… again.. Red had been doing that alot recently. “Sorry Purps-! What’d you need?” Red said through a forced smile. Purple analyzed Red, “Are you okay..?”.
The captain felt themself freeze. Were they okay? Of course they were, they were the captain! Captain to a dead crew.. “O-Of course! Silly Purps, when am I not okay?!” Red was slipping, they have been this whole trip. They knew that they could only keep it up for so long. Especially around Purple.. Purple drops their hands from the beans shoulders, “Whatever you say Red,” they say, dropping the topic, “You wanna go make pizza with me? Or try to? I know we won’t be as good as Yellow or Brown or anything but, we can try,”.
Red nodded, “Sure! Can’t let my crew starve now can I?” they say, forcing a chuckle out. ‘Oh but you can let them die?’ Their thoughts echoed at them, to which they pushed down. Red had to focus, they only had one crew left, they couldn’t let them down.. not Purps.. Not again.
ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ
The two enter the kitchen, which felt eerily quiet. The kitchen was always filled with Yellow and Browns chatter, their laughter. The last time they’d been in here was when they were preparing to fight the alien. “Alright, let’s try to do this,” Purple says, looking around, entirely clueless how to get started. It was hard cooking in a kitchen that was organized to someone elses thinking, one entirely different from your own.
They began with finding the dough, then rolling it out. They attempted to make a circle, but it was awfully lopsided. Purple laughed at the poor attempt, turning to Red. Red was spacing out, mind somewhere else. Purple understood the feeling of just not being in the moment, so they continued to work in silence. It wasn’t a calm silence either, it was awkward, millions of unspoken words stuck in the back of their throats.
Neither of them had broughten up anything from their past yet. They were still processing what had just happened the day before. Still processing the fact that it was just them. They knew they’d have to talk about everything eventually, but they had time before Industria.. before facing MIRA.. before most likely being separated..
Purple nudges Red, “Can you go in the freezer and get some meat sticks for pepperonis?” They ask, sprinkling cheese evenly on the pizza. Red nods, they want to reply with something captainly but they can’t seem to pull themself together. The captain enters the freezer, being met with the rush of cold air. They look around, trying to quickly find the meat so they can leave the ice box. They feel the way their fingers numb.. Their mind going to Yellow.
Out of the whole crew, Yellow’s death loomed over Red the most. The crewmate they had killed. The one they voted off. They couldn’t help but think of how painful it must’ve been. To be consumed by the cold, being unable to do anything but it let the frigid air swallow you whole. Going from your feet to your fingers, before finally freezing away your consciousness, along with your memories. Red wondered what hurt more, than numbing pain eating away at Yellows body, or the fact that Brown was slowly fading away from them.
Red was then hit with a wave of guilt. They were the reason Yellow had to go through any of that. They were the reason they all went through everything.. It really was all Red’s fault. The reactor with Purple, the NDA, the asteroid, everyones deaths. It all lead back to Red. Captain ‘fuck up everything’ Red. Some captain they were… Even after all of it, they were still standing, alive, and with Purple’s somewhat forgiveness. God they didn’t deserve that. Them being alive, them being with Purple. None of it.
“RED!!!” Purple shouted from the doorway of the freezer, “The fuck is wrong with you?! You’re gonna get yourself killed standing in the freezer like this!!” They say, looking at Red who.. who was crying. The fur under their visor was damp with rushing tears. “Oh fuck— Red..” Purple says, tone softening at Red crying. They’d seen Red cry before. Once as interns, when Red found out their father had died. But it was a different cry. Back then that cry sprouted from sadness and loss, even if Red’s dad was an ass.. The way Red cried now was full of regret and just.. pain. Purple couldn’t tell if said pain was from the fact they were literally freezing or from something else, something deeper.
The captain pushed past Purple, “I need to go,” they said, their voice shaking and their fists clenched to their sides. Before Purple could stop them they’d left the kitchen. Purple winced, the sound of Red’s voice echoing in their mind. They groaned, knowing that they had to follow Red.
“Ugh…. Feelings..”
ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ
Red rushed to navigation, vision blurry. They kept wiping their tears before they could even fall, the sleeves to their jacket damp. Once in Navigation they immediately slid down the nearest wall, sitting on the floor. Back to the wall and knees to their chest. “Fuck—“ Red choked out before sobbing. They cried into their hands, letting out an ugly cry. They reach for the hat on their head, taking it off. They look at the stupid logo on it before tossing it across the room. “Fucking- MIRA ruined everything—“ they say, spitefully, blurry visor eyeing the cap that was now on the other side of the room.. “No- I…” Red looked down at their hands, “I ruined everything..”. They break back out into ugly sobbing, now gripping harshly at their hair.
The door to Navigation opens, Purple looks into the room to see their Captain literally falling apart. They go down to the floor next to them, “Red..” Purple says, grabbing Red’s hands to pull them away from their hair. “Red talk to me— please..”
Red immediately turns to Purple and grips them tightly, crying into their shoulder. Purple is hesitant but hugs back. “It’s okay Redsie… I’m here..” They say calmly, rubbing Red’s back. The comforting words sound weird coming out of Purple’s mouth, but Red needed to hear it from someone.
Red sobbed, “Why— Why are you so nice to me??” They cry, squeezing tighter, “You hate me.. You should hate me-! I ruined everything!! I was a shitty captain and an even worse friend!” They say all of this through sniffles and whines. Purple just kept rubbing Red’s back, unsure what to say. Red pulls away from the hug, “Why..?” They say weakly, looking Purple in the visor, “Why do you still care for me?.. I fuck everything up— I’m a walking disaster- you should hate me.. I left you for stupid fucking MIRA..”.
The security guard feels their heart ache at Red’s words. “Look— you messed up.. a lot.. but.. but you acknowledge it. Which is a lot more than most people do,” Purple says, unsure if their words are any actual advice. They put Red’s shaky hand in their own, thumb rubbing back and forth as a weak attempt to calm them. “You could use some growing, some changing.. but I could too.. The best part about that is we’ll be together.” Purple looks up at Red whose looking at them with a teary visor. “We’re not gonna leave eachother again. Okay Redsie..? Never.. I don’t care what MIRA tries to do, we won’t let them,”.
Purple smiles softly, to which Red returns it. “We need to be here for eachother,” Purple adds, their free hand cupping Red’s cheek. They lean into the touch and shut their visor, tired from their intense crying session. “Promise me you’ll start talking to me instead of immediately running to your room to cry and blame yourself for everything,” Purple says, both hands now cupping Red’s face.
Red nods, “As long as you come to me Purps,” they say cracking their visor open to look at Purple.
The security guard smiles, “Of course, Redsie.”