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the worst thing about being in love with eliwood is being in love with eliwood. hector let himself fall for his best friend, of all people. he knows it will never work, it will never be more than platonic on eliwood's part.
he copes by grinning and joking around, knocking the fact that he adores eliwood to the ends of the earth and back around to the point that it seems like its just a joke. he'll run across elibe if eliwood asks him to. he hopes no one looks too close at him, for every time he laughs and jokingly calls eliwood his boyfriend – there's a part of him dying inside, wishing it were true.
hector hates the fact that he has to be the way he is. he feels good, an axe in hand, and hair cropped short – he feels like himself. a young man, ready to take on the world.
hector has days where he doubts his identity. he doubts himself, doubts the axe he swings, doubts the way his hair is cut.
those days, he wishes he wasn't a young man, and was comfortable with the body he was born in, without having to seek changes like binding breasts flat and hiding behind armour because it's the best he can do. magic gives him the hair on his jaw he shaves every other day, a simple spell even a novice could perform.
other than being known as lord hector and addressed with he pronouns, it is all hector wants with his transition. he doesn't care about having a dick or not, in the end he still has toys that he can use, that he does use.
hector hates the fact he is like that, because a bitter part of him knows that eliwood would never love him back the way hector loves his best friend. he hates he has to be a man, he hates that he partially wishes he was a woman so eliwood would love him.
but, hector smiles and copes, shoving down those urges and picking his axes up. he sets wolfbeil down, only to pick up a weapon that promises his demise. he doesn't care, because eliwood is beside him. eliwood cares about him, even as a friend, and that should be – is – enough for him to move on, get a wife and settle down.
even if it kills him, he's done everything for his best friend.