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The public library felt completely empty, which Madoka found to be a good thing. In all honesty, it was far better for it to be empty - or at least almost empty - right now than having it be active.
Madoka had to think, alone, about a lot of things. The last… 4 and a half? Yeah, it would be 4 and a half now; months had been the most intense of her life. The her of back then wouldn’t believe anything she had been through.
She herself almost didn’t.
First, it turned out that Magical Girls were real, which was probably the second, or maybe third, most insane thing from the last few months to happen to her, all things considered.
Madoka could still remember how she found out. New girl in school, so shy. So alone. And so cute. It was her first day in Madoka’s school, and Madoka decided to walk her back to her apartment. So sad she was that day, so sad she was when it happened.
A Witch. A musket. And there they were. Tomoe Mami had saved them both. For a while things were nice, for a while Mami had protected them. For a while, they kept her company.
Then one thing led to another, and Homura was forced to make a contract to save Madoka from a Witch. And then, for a time, things were still okay. Homura and Madoka could, and were, still rapidly becoming closer, and Madoka was still trying to figure out what she wanted her wish to be.
Everything then was fine; it couldn’t last - she knew that now, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t miss it. She did, very much so. That time, when she first met Homura, was something she couldn’t get back.
Not like she needed to; she had other plans.
Of course, Walpurgisnacht had to arrive, and had to ruin that little time they first had together. Homura and Mami died, and she had nothing left to do but go back. Go back in time so that she could protect them both. Protect everyone.
Maybe that was how it started, or maybe this feeling she felt started earlier. Not like she could say anymore.
The second timeline was much the same, until after Homura had made a contract. Doing so just 2 weeks before Walpurgisnacht arrived. Sayaka… her best friend since childhood, she was offered a contract. Took it, and tried her best to live with it.
She died alongside the rest when Walpurgisnacht came; the rest besides Madoka, who again survived.
Then came timeline 3. Homura contracted earlier, much earlier. She and Madoka became a lot closer. Maybe if everything didn’t happen, they wouldn’t have become so close.
Sayaka was offered it again, Kyubey confirming to her that Sayaka had only been offered because Homura already contracted. Kyouko actually stuck around instead of leaving almost immediately. And then, the truth Madoka never wanted to know came to be…
Sayaka turned into a witch, Mami killed Kyouko and in the end… Madoka had to pull the trigger to save Homura’s life. Just like that, there were two of them.
That would’ve been the third, or maybe second, thing that changed everything for Madoka in the last 4 and a half months. What was first soon came after.
Madoka had already known how she felt for Homura before Walpurgisnacht had arrived. Her puffy cheeks, her cute glasses, the way she seemed so determined, all for Madoka’s sake. It would’ve been impossible for her not to fall.
Madoka was a smart girl; she could recognize that.
She always assumed that she’d end up getting a love letter from a guy; she could’ve never expected that Homura would give her one. Nor would she expect that it would happen just before Walpurgisnacht arrived for the third time.
Homura told her that after they beat that Witch, they’d have a chance to go on a date. Madoka accepted, of course she did, and so that was the plan.
She didn’t want to kill Homura to prevent her from turning into a witch. Her soft lips satiated her as she took her beloved's life. It was the only thing she could do for Homura. The only thing she ever could’ve.
And so she was here now. Prepared, somewhat, and still waiting. There were a few days left until Homura transferred in, so she was planning what her next move would be.
Which was extremely hard to do, considering that she kissed Homura.
I had my first kiss with Homura-chan. Madoka thought to herself, pen on her lip as her mind returned to thinking about it. This time, I want to do it properly.
She herself might’ve been doomed, but if she could save Homura and Sayaka… she would do whatever it took.
This was her salvation, saving them.
Red skies, cold winds. The bridge where they both first learnt the truth of this world was where she would make her first move. Walking her home was the clearest path, even if there was still so much to do.
Two girls walking. Madoka fast, Homura slow.
“You didn’t need to do this for me, Kaname-san.”
Madoka would just turn back around. “I thought I told you to call me Madoka, Homura-chan.” Light and playful, that’s what Homura needed to hear in order for what ‘plan’ Madoka had come up with to work.
It wasn’t a great plan, not by a long shot, but it was the one she had - and so she would stick to it. Clinging onto it like waves cling onto the shoreline.
If it was for Homura-chan, she would have no problem doing this forever.
Well… Maybe not forever, but for a while. Until she could save them, which she was going to do this time around. 100%. She was going to save her this time. It had to be true.
“Oh, okay. Kaname-san, sorry I mean-”, Homura tried to reply. Scared, fearful. Unready. It was all these things which started Madoka’s attractions. It’s all these things she had learnt so well how to dismantle.
“It’s okay, Homura-chan,” Madoka responded quickly, grabbing onto Homura’s hand. “It’s okay if you can’t say my name yet; one day I’m sure you will.”
It was the last thing she heard Homura say before the kiss, after all.
2 more weeks. Midway through. It was time now to put her plan into high gear. Staying over at Homura’s house made sure of it.
She had, so far, been able to keep Homura away from Kyubey - at least until earlier today, when everything had almost gone wrong completely. Good news was that Homura and Sayaka were still normal humans, and that Sayaka had no idea what was going on.
But Homura did learn about what a Magical Girl was, and that Madoka was one, and that’s the opposite of good. Which meant she really needed to convince Homura that engaging with it any further is a bad idea.
“I don’t want you to worry about me at all, okay Homura-chan?” Madoka sat on Homura’s bed, braiding her hair. “I’m fine completely, and you're perfect as you are now, so please never listen to that rat.”
Homura was silent, for the most part. Shaking a little bit, still roughed up from what she had seen today. Madoka almost felt bad for finding her to be cute, almost.
Her glasses were so red, her hair was so fluffy. Maybe Madoka didn’t deserve her. That wasn’t going to stop her from what she needed to do, anyway.
“Kaname-san?” Homura began to speak, unsure of what she was saying in total terms. Uneasy, the room was quiet as Homura tried to continue.
“Yes, my dear?” Madoka replied. She knew there were feelings starting to form; she had seen it before. She could recognize now that Homura was beginning to understand how she felt about her, and she was going to use that to its fullest extent.
“Why-why did you become a Magical Girl?”
Right, of course she’d be asking about that. Madoka was lucky Homura couldn’t hear anything from her mind. “To protect those I care about, like you - Homura-chan.”
Blushing was the cutest thing Homura would do for her. Never willingly, and yet Madoka loved every second of it.
“Ka-kan”, Before Homura could say anything else, she would feel Madoka put her hands over her stomach, pulling her close. She was quiet now; Madoka gladly understood what she needed to do next.
“Do you have a crush on anyone, Homura-chan?” Madoka asked, devilishly, knowingly. This was it, her path to salvation. Just get Homura into a relationship with her and bam. Everyone saved, at least until May.
But she would be able to deal with it this time; she was stronger and had planned almost accordingly, so there was no need to worry.
Homura just froze up at Madoka’s question, almost shivering. Unresponsive, perhaps she would need to pull her forward, although she had a feeling that Homura already knew what she was doing.
Madoka broke the hug and moved herself right next to Homura, who was still frozen in fear that she was found out. Of course, it was right for her to be afraid.
Madoka turned to face her, smiling. Knowing what she was about to do next. “It’s okay, Homura-chan. I want you to face me, okay?”
Homura obliged. Her face turned to Madoka’s. Within a second, she felt Madoka’s lips descend upon her own. A kiss…
It felt just like Heaven.
“I’m sorry if I haven’t been around you or Hitomi recently.” The message played out on Sayaka’s phone. Already recorded and sent to it hours earlier. Late night, almost May. She had no idea about the truth; Madoka wanted to keep it that way.
Sayaka just stood there, still, quiet. Listening to what Madoka was saying.
“Something happened to me; it’s not something I can really explain to you all.” Madoka puffed out, almost sad or even ashamed at what she was saying. “But it’s not a bad thing, not entirely at least.”
Sayaka still had her hand clenched onto her phone when Madoka said it, the thing she needed to say. A final precaution just in case. “If something happens to me tomorrow, I want you both to know that I really, truly care about you both. And, you shouldn’t try to find out what happened.”
Sayaka wouldn’t heed her warning; of course she wouldn’t - Sayaka would never let her friend go through something dangerous alone.
The easiest way to find out what was happening wouldn’t have been through Madoka, though. No, not while she was being secretive. Instead, it would’ve been through the one she had spent the last few weeks hanging out with constantly
Akemi Homura.
She hated mud. She always had; what happened today just made sure of it. Blood and mud and all the things she never wanted to see.
It was a mistake to get Homura to be so close to her. Of course it was; she should’ve seen that. She was so worried, and cared so much that she decided to do the one thing Madoka never, ever, wanted her to do.
She made a contract just before Walpurgisnacht came, and she died fighting it. And now here was Madoka, holding onto her cold body. Crying, wishing, that she knew what she needed to do before she messed everything up.
Of course, Sayaka made one too right after. Homura had already told her about it. Kyubey was more than happy about that.
She was so, so stupid when she wrote that message to her. It was unbelievable, honestly.
Sayaka died too, barely able to do anything before she was sliced in half by a collapsing building.
One day, she would save them one day - but today was not that day.
At least Homura called me by my name.