Chapter Text
You're worried about Caine.
Lying on your bed, staring up at the ceiling of your room as you recall today’s events. It truly felt like everything was against him. You’re probably the only person in the circus who enjoys his adventures. Able to see the variety and creativity to jump from one genre to the next. Despite how long you’ve been here, they haven’t become predictable. Always fresh. Always exciting.
Today, when Caine started with a whole bit about 'ass-um-ing', you were buzzing with excitement. It was a different type of adventure, a team-building exercise that you haven't seen before. It impressed you to know that Caine is aware of the tension between the group and shows how thoughtful he is in wanting to help build a bridge, trust, between everyone. Along with making you wonder just how watchful he truly is to pick up on that detail. But that’s a thought for another day.
Everything seems to be going smoothly. Until Jax derails that, forcing Caine to abandon his idea. Completely giving up as he spawns more guns.
He looked defeated, tired, and overall so done with the group that he didn't even try to conceal it. You’ve never seen Caine so miserable and fed up. Ditching the group without his usual nicknames or show of care in favor of a lawn chair. It felt wrong to see him so distant. You roll over to your side with a heavy sigh as you let yourself openly admit that you miss not hearing Caine’s farewell, greeting, congratulations or odd nicknames like usual. They're cute and give you the same comfort as reading or hearing affirmations in the outside world.
But that wasn't all, next was the award ceremony. You enjoy the setting. It reminded you of home, the familiar routine of entering an event, the small struggle of finding a seat and the chatter before it begins. The place Caine made was beautiful, the type of place that in the real world you might struggle to afford a ticket to. It’s something you came to appreciate about Caine. When he wanted to, he could make really nice places.
You’re probably the only one to notice that, too.
The show began, and you found it cute when he blushed at that NPC yelling; they loved him. You couldn't help the laugh you let out at his flustered 'shut up', he quipped back. Then the award was announced and he looked so happy, believing he won. The lights that shine upon him made him look anglic, his voice sounding in awe and disbelief, making you feel proud of him for winning.
Until it was announced, he didn't. The award was lackluster given to the real winner. Then it was over. You noticed as you were leaving, he didn't seem all there. His farewell was loud but lacking. It truly appeared he was having a bad day. You wonder if he’s still upset about losing the award.
Can an AI ringleader be upset? Can an AI feel emotions the same as you? You know you would be upset after the day he had. You’re not sure you would be able to face the mix-up as graciously as he did. However unlikely it is that Caine’s feelings are hurt, and he’s currently wallowing in sorrow. You felt it was the right conclusion – Caine, who emotes to everything must be feeling something – and now have a moral duty to help comfort him.
You roll to lie on your other side in your bed, stumped on what to do. What can you do for the AI? You could talk to him, but you were never good with words; already, your stomach ties into knots at the idea of just talking to Caine. A gift then. But what can you offer to an AI who can generate anything?
Your eyes scan your room, taking in the paper and supplies. The drawings you liked best hang up with tape. You could draw him something. You push yourself up from your bed and move to take a seat by your desk. You grab a pencil and let it hit the table as you brainstorm on what. Your mind goes to bees, knowing how much he likes them. But he already draws bees himself; it didn’t feel right. Didn't feel special. What else could there be for the AI who does everything for the humans in his circus.
A faint idea comes to mind. You don't bother thinking too deeply about it or risk talking yourself out of it. You grab your supplies and draw the best of your ability of what Caine would look like as a human.
In the dead of night, the circus is scary. Once done with your drawing, which surprises yourself on how quickly you got it done. You suppose you got carried away with how fun it was to design a human Caine, idea after idea came to on what he’ll look like. A tap open with flowing inspiration that you had to draw out, every choice was made with ease. You didn’t struggle or pause to overthink. Something about drawing Caine felt natural; once you finished, you already had ten more ideas of different poses to draw him in.
You push the urge for later as you want to gift the drawing immediately, while the event is still fresh. Yet comforting Caine in your room feels to intimate, and you didn’t want to risk waking the others in case Caine has a loud reaction. So you find yourself blindly stumbling through the hallways and now standing awkwardly in the common room of the circus. You didn’t realise how dark it is, how there’s little to no lights on throughout the circus. It feels eerie how quiet and empty it looks.
"Caine?" you hesitantly and nervously call out as you wait for him to appear. A minute passed. Then a second. After five minutes and no response, you let out a defeated sigh. You turn around, your mouth snapping shut as you come face-to-face with Caine.
"Isn't it past your bedtime?" Caine innocently ask while your heart leaps out of your chest.
"Holy s[%$!]" you gasp, stumping back in fright.
"Whoa! Such profanities after I diligently answer your call?" Did that mean he stood there for five minutes? You open your mouth to explain, yet get cut off. "While I am thankful you want my presence.” “Caine-” you whine only to huff as he continues, “You humans need to sleep!”
“Yeah, but-”your hand tightens on the paper's edge as you get cut off again. “Whatever it is, it can wait till the morning, my flighty insomniac bat!” Your eyes widen at the sight of Caine bringing a hand up, his fingers moving to get ready to click and summon a command. “As I was in the process of making the next adventure-"
"FOR YOU!" You roughly shove the drawing into his chest. Cutting off his words and the possible action of sending you to your room. Any questions about his strange staring are ignored and forgotten as you hurry to deliver your gift. A silences fallen as you pin the paper to his chest, and Caine hesitated for a moment, hovering his hand over yours as if afraid to touch you. You couldn’t guess what reason he could be afraid. Afraid to scare you with his touch. Afraid to break the moment. Maybe he wasn’t used to the rough action and is simply afraid.
Either way, your surprise at the warmth that radiates from him as he slowly places his hand over yours. His fingers tip curling softly around your hand. His touch is feather-light, as if asking or waiting for your permission. “I-I have something for you.” You explain, pulling your hand away before he could cradle it.
"What?” you hear rustling as Caine grabs and lifts the paper. “Oh, I can't see with how dark it is-" With a click of his fingers, a lamp suddenly appears. You blink your eyes rapidly to adjust to the harsh change. "Now what is this? A suggestion? You know we have a box for tha-" Caine's annoyed tone trails off as he stares at the drawing.
You thought he would immediately begin to yell ‘wowie!’ at the sight, or something equally as loud. It was the whole reason you sneak out of your room, yet Caine remains unnaturally silent. For a beat. Then another.
"Not a suggestion but a gift." You clarify. Caine still doesn't say anything, doesn’t even blink, and a nervous urge to fill the void appears. A need to explain yourself, to shift blame or embarrassment causing you to ramble, "because, um, I notice you seem upset with the voting! And with the adventure. I thought you’d like a drawing of you as a human. A gift. Something to say, um, I think you did good-”
"A gift? I did-?” Caine finally breaks the silence. Even when he addresses you, stumbling over his words, his gaze is locked on the drawing. He looks tongue-tied, and you wonder if you broke the AI. “You made this…for me?" His voice sounding soft and quiet. Thick in doubt, as he couldn’t believe your words at face value. It’s unlike his usually loud boastful tone.
"Yep, that's what a gift is," You let out an awkward laugh.
"A human hasn't ever given me a gift before…" Caine whispers. He lifts his eyes to meet yours, and for once, you can’t pick up what he’s feeling. Realising how unsettling it is to stare at only eyes and teeth, you shift in your spot. More nervous that you offended him. Your thoughts are interrupted as Caine suddenly hugs you tightly. His teeth snap shut, hiding his eyes as his canines are pressed into the side of your face, and his arms tighten around your back. It made you wonder if that's his attempt of hiding his face. Did you embarrassed him? Or is he flustered?
"Thank you." his voice is calm and sincere. It's the most human-like he ever sounded.
"You're welcome.” You melt into the hug, rubbing his back softly. The air around you is calm and light. “And um, if it means anything. I would have voted for you." You reassure.
"Wait, you didn't vote?" Caine pulls back from the hug, with a sense of alarm at the news. He grips your shoulders, his teeth dropping open allowing you to see his wide eyes, leaving no way out of the confrontation.
"We could vote?" You ask, clueless.
"Yes! You could have voted! What-" Caine lets out a laugh. It sounds like a mix of amusement and disbelief. Something you hear from a friend, he again sounded human-like and you find that you like the sound of it. "Never mind that. Thank you. Now you should really be getting to bed, you need all the rest for…" Caine pauses, appearing to be debating something, when his features soften, "The lake."
"The lake? Like the one outside the circus?" You question as Caine begins to walk, with his feet touching the ground, escorting you towards the bedrooms. His arm settles comfortably over the small of your back, pressing you forward gently.
"Yep, the very one! I'm sure it'll feel just like home." Caine nods.
"Sounds…Nice.” The conversation dies there. No awkwardness sliding in. Just a calm you never imagined to come from the eccentric ringmaster. Caine slowly comes to a stop once you reach the hallways that lead back to the rooms. “Goodnight, Caine." You smile, leaving Caine as you pick up on the hint. Returning to your room alone.
Caine watches you leave. He shouldn't have hinted so heavily at the upcoming adventure, but he couldn't help it. He just wanted to share a bit of his art, just as you have. Once you’re out of sight, Caine returns his gaze to the artwork. Of a confident ringleader wearing them same outfit, his red coattail with a level of detail to convey fabric and movement that he never thought to add to his own.
Even drawing his hat that he wears, which is placed on a proportionate head. A human's head with hair. He never once thought of himself as human, but looking at the drawing felt like looking into a mirror. He gains a sense that this is exactly what he’ll look like, down to the facial hair- called a beard!- the white framing the edges here and there to represent his teeth. Evening going as far as to match the eye colour to his heterochromia. He wasn’t aware you were watching him so closely. Making him look... beautiful. A part of him wants to chase you down and ask what else you think of him.
He instead hugs the drawing to his chest as he vanishes into his office.