Chapter Text
MiracuTeam
Ladybug: so
Ladybug: bad news
Chat Noir: guess who showed up to the fight with a fever
Chat Noir: milady this is embarrassing we're the seniors
Viperion: are you guys alright? injured?
Ladybug: no no viperion we're fine
Ladybug: we just... uh...
Chat Noir: everything is fine but our dignity
Rena Rouge: saw it on the ladyblog what's up with lb and cn
Rena Rouge: oh
Carapace: okay team the bosses are out for the count who's coming to the fight
Ladybug: im tryna think of a plan buthsjndk
Ladybug: sorry sneezed
Chat Noir: milady you go rest i can handle this
Ladybug: good timing my mom just came with the medicine too
Ladybug: only wake me if someone died, got injured, or hawkmoth appears
→ Ladybug has gone offline.
Chat Noir: ok so long story short lb and i got sick, saw the alert, went to fight anyways, made a fool of ourselves, and got saved by an ally of ours who knew our identies.
Chat Noir: he brought us to his house and uh we detransform and got suuuper sick bc since using miraculous powers use our energies and stuff, since lb and i used ours our illness deteriorated.
Chat Noir: before you guys freak out we're fine this ally of ours made some special chinese brew? we felt better quickly. he said it's better if we go home and rest.
Pegasus: Thank you for the explanation, Chat Noir. How can we defeat the akuma?
Chat Noir: uhh okay im a bit hazy but this akuma's name is Gravimaster. yeah. he can control the gravity of things he touches, so don't get hit by him.
Chat Noir: lb and i didn't have time to see where the akuma is BUT don't worry it's always the obvious answer.
Chat Noir: for the team im thinking carapace pegasus rena
Chat Noir: no offense but for insurance viperion you go too
Rena Rouge: no offense taken
Carapace: yeah don't worry we get it
Pegasus: What about the restoration? Should we call Ladybug?
Chat Noir: oh shoot i didn't think of that
Chat Noir: uhhhh well this is awkward
Chat Noir: hold on I'll ask the big boss
Wang Fu
heyy master Fu it's adrien
uh question
the other heroes are asking how do we restore paris since ladybug is asleep and well
is there such a thing as "destorying what was destroyed"? or would it be "destroying the specific future where it was destroyed"?
Adrien, it's good that you ask.
You can do as you suggested, but for now I'm not confident in your control yet.
ok gotcha
so what do we do
do you have to go call ladybug? the akuma needs to be purified as well
Hmm, Ladybug can go after the battle is over to purify and repair the damage.
Ladybug is asleep, though. I don't want to bother her.
You can Cataclysm the akuma, but the reparations have to be done by the government instead.
i see isee
thanks master I'll delete the chat now
MiracuTeam
Chat Noir: okay guys im back
Chat Noir: big man said i can go catalysm the akuma but the repairs will have to be done by the state tho so
Chat Noir: ladybug will absolutely blow it on me for not waking her up but honestly she deserved to sleep and rest
Ryuko: You both do. You saved Paris without fail, and you're not even paid.
King Monkey: true true
King Monkey: if it were me i want to be state funded
Viperion: the state can use some money for a change
MiracuTeam
Ladybug: ijyst wke up
Ladybug: hwd it go
Rena Rouge: gravimaster-fight-video//https://ladyblog
Ladybug: holy shit
Ladybug: WHAT
Ladybug: YOU GUYS LET THE CITY REPAIR DAMAGES???????
Rena Rouge: chat stands corrected lmao
Carapace: big boss we know you're mad at chat but he's asleep rn so you can yell at him later
Viperion: im sure the city doesn't mind using taxes for a change
Ladybug: oh shit yeah yeah im sorry
Ladybug: chaton did really really well im just on edge uhh im sure he is too we haven't talked to the officials much at all about this magic stuff sooo
Ryuko: Oh, really?
Ryuko: I thought the city would've approached you by now.
Ladybug: uh they kinda did but with the cps and uhhh both chat and i aren't really equipped to deal with that so we dipped
Rena Rouge: CPS?????
Viperion: i didn't know they took this THAT seriously
Ladybug: me too!
Ladybug: i froze up when they asked me stuff. chat is better with interviews than me so he took over but he flunked when the officer asked about parents
Chat Noir: my family situation is very complicated sooo
Ladybug: heyy chat how are you feeling did we wake you up
Chat Noir: nah i was woken up by plagg and couldn't really sleep
Chat Noir: anyways why are we talking about that scary cps officer
Carapace: ladybug kinda freaked out about the city handling damages and it kinda go from there
Carapace: i didn't know you guys went through a lot behind the scenes
Rena Rouge: ^^^
Rena Rouge: i thought the job was just secret identities, sneak out, fight akumas, detransform
Ladybug: paris government shocked me too tbh
Ladybug: the mayor is a nice guy he seems really worried about us bc we're kids
Chat Noir: makes sense he has a daughter about our age so
Chat Noir: idk if miss ladyblogger ever caught it or not but early akuma days the police and cps are literally behind our backs
Viperion: i remember during copycat? or was it rogercop. the first time around, the police were saying something about minors and something. they passed by my house.
Chat Noir: yeahh oh that brings back memories
Chat Noir: viperions right the whole minor thing did happen a lot like when we first started but it lessened nowadays. we still haven't gone to the mayor's office yet tho
Ladybug: ughhh we gotta do it one of these days, surely. set boundaries, assert authority.
Ladybug: the problem is, we have a team of semi permanent holders now? so it's bound to explode one way or another this minor situation
Ladybug: btw who gave you your miraculouses
Chat Noir: the big boss milady ;)
Ladybug: i know about you
Rena Rouge: idk i just found the chinese box thing on my desk just as i was about to type at the chat about how to get the miraculous
Rena Rouge: pls don't tell me chat went out when he's still sick. or lady boss for that matter
Chat Noir: as much as I'd love to, i was truly bedridden
Ladybug: dude i was out cold after my last msg at the time
Ladybug: how'd you guys return it
Viperion: there's a note inside the box saying to just place it where we found it
Ladybug: cool cool gotta check in with big boss real quick
Master and Beloved Disciples
Ladybug: Master Fu
Ladybug: Did you get all the Miraculouses back safely?
Chat Noir: Oh darn, I forgot to ask that to Master when I DM'd him.
Ladybug: ???
Ladybug: What'd you DM him for, Chaton?
Chat Noir: I didn't want to wake you up from sleep and the team were asking how to purify the Akuma and repair the damages. I asked if I could "destroy certain abstract concept like time or cause and effect" so the damage can essentially be reverted. Apparently I can, Master said it's probably going to end the world.
Ladybug: WHAT????
Ladybug: And you didn't think to tell me about it?
Chat Noir: Okay, maybe he didn't say it like that.
Chat Noir: But Master said my control isn't as good yet so better not to do it.
Master: Yes, Ladybug, I got the Miraculouses back safely.
Master: Chat Noir, are you forgetting something?
Chat Noir: Forget what?
Chat Noir: OH SHOOT
Chat Noir: MASTER I'M SO SORRY I SWEAR I FINISHED WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO
Ladybug: Psst, Master, don't treat him to Andre's if he forgot your homework.
Chat Noir: It's not Miraculous type of homework but I SWEAR I FINSIHED IT GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES.
Chat Noir: And Bugaboo, the disciples always repay the master. Master Fu never had to treat me to anything, because I'm the one paying.
Ladybug: Okay, Catboy go do your homework before you talk big.
Master: Haha, it's alright Chat Noir. Both you and Ladybug are ill. Rest first. The homework can be done later.
Chat Noir: Aw, Master is so kind.
Chat Noir: Unlike Mean Bug.
Ladybug: Okay, Mister Crycat. Guess you didn't want the limited editionn Dupain-Cheng bakery croissants after all.
Chat Noir: My lady, I worship the very ground your feet touches please forgive this insolent feline.
Chat Noir: I don't know how you did it. Everytime I came to the bakery they're always sold out.
Ladybug: I had to sneak into the bakery amongst the other customers too. Very tiring job.
Ladybug: Master, I'll bring some for you too the next time I visit.
Master: Thank you, Ladybug. Go to sleep, you two.
Chat Noir: Okay Master, take care.
Ladybug: Sleep well Master.
MiracuTeam
Chat Noir: who's up for mecha strike
Chat Noir: wait the coop show your steam account's user name uhh
Ladybug: WE'RE NOT DOING AMONG US AGAIN YOU GUYS LIKE BULLYING ME
Ryuko: Skill issue.
King Monkey: LMAO
Ladybug: ughhhhhh
Carapace: we could play uno
Viperion: prepare to lose
Chat Noir: if viperion wins i won't make snake puns for 3 fights that he joined
Rena Rouge: chat is pretty confident going against vip
Viperion: bet furry boy
Pegasus: It's as the kids say. "THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGGG"
MiracuTeam
Chat Noir: I HATE MY LIFE
Chat Noir: WHAT'S THE POINT OF BEING A SUPERHERO IF YOU CAN'T MAKE PUNS OUT OF YOUR FURRY GANG
Rena Rouge: there's like, 3 furries here it's you me and king monkey
Rena Rouge: it's a bug dominated industry we're in
Carapace: if furries are the minority what the hell am i
Ladybug: aren't turtles scale creatures
Ladybug: or are they part of the crab species bc shells
Viperion: snakes dragons turtles are all reptiles
Viperion: someone slept during biology
Ladybug: chat's the nerd out of us two
Ladybug: how'd you even know this
Ryuko: Because he went to school?
King Monkey: no offense viperion but you give the vibe of someone who's zenning during class
Viperion: wow
Viperion: put some respect to your elders
Viperion: I'll have you know i attended my school's award ceremony every year
Ryuko: He is what they call "bullshitting". He only attended because he got the perfect attendance award.
Viperion: and the one unexpected National Math Quiz award. idk how'd i got that
Rena Rouge: ??? does ryuko and viperion know each other's identities sounds like it
Ryuko: It's neither true nor false. I have an ability to tell if someone is "bullshitting".
Viperion: gee okay ryuko
Viperion: (╯︵╰,)
Chat Noir: ok gang im going to sleep
Chat Noir: it's like
Chat Noir: 4 am holy shit
Ladybug: WHAT
Ladybug: ykw I'll just skip school tomorrow im sick anyways
Ladybug: totally not bc i forgot to do my homework
Chat Noir: ughh if only
Carapace: yo dude just skip school you're sick too
Carapace: surely your family can't be that bad to let you go to school sick
Chat Noir: i am skipping school tmrw
Chat Noir: it's just uhhhh
Chat Noir: i have work tmrw too
Chat Noir: it's in the evening tho so hopefully I'll be better by then
Ladybug: oh shit me too i forgot i got work tmrw
Ladybug: good luck chaton
Ladybug: good night guys imma sleep again
Chat Noir: night guys
Temperature Of My Heart
Carapace: things we know about chat noir;
Carapace: 1) he has a complicated relationship with his family
Carapace: 2) he's a furry
Carapace: 3) he's got enough money to buy high quality camembert for his kwami
Carapace: 4) he has a full-time job
Rena Rouge: running theory is that he's a rich kid from a rich family who works for the sake of it
Viperion: point of contention - he has a full tine job JUST to afford the camembert
Viperion: im still on team "broken mid class family eldest child who's working in high class society to feed his siblings and kwami"
Ryuko: I'm on team Viperion.
Rena Rouge: does chat give elder brother energy
Carapace: to be honest i think he acts like that as chat noir bc? ladybug is taking the charge and not him?
Carapace: i mean if lady boss isn't here he's pretty charismatic on his own. very dependable.
Rena Rouge: true true
Rena Rouge: im still of team "rich kid who's SUUUUPER spoiled like chloe bourgeois but learns responsibility after being a hero which explains the Character Development and also absent parents bc it Explains So Much"
Viperion: i know you're asleep but @Pegasus add more points to the betting board please when you wake up
Mister Wang Fu
masterr thank you for the tea leaves
It'll help you get better faster, Marinette.
Thank you, too, for the croissants. They're delicious.
hehe i made the batch for you and chaton myself
btw master i didn't know you're an agreste brand fan
there's so many products there
Haha, I just like to spray the fragrance before and after clients arrive to get rid of the smell of oil.
Nowadays, people don't like the smell so much.
ooh i see
have a great day master I'll swing by next week for class
Wang Fu
Mister Wang, thank you for the lesson and the tea leaves. It's very kind of you.
You always gifted me with herbs and medicines as well, Adrien.
Haha, I just feel like it's appropriate for the student to give the teacher gifts. Besides, you helped me more than my previous tutor did.
I'll work hard on your assignment. See you later, Mister Wang.
MiracuTeam
Rena Rouge: im bored
Rena Rouge: truth or dare
King Monkey: dare
Rena Rouge: send chat noir thirst trap edits of you
King Monkey: bet
Viperion: oh my god
Pegasus: Place your bets on Chat Noir's reaction.
Carapace: send his own thirst traps at king monkey in return
Rena Rouge: too predictable.
Rena Rouge: he'd just flirt back via text
Rena Rouge: smtg smtg like "what a surprise king monkey. i guess furries attract each other"
Rena Rouge: idk i don't know how to say cringe shit like chat does
Ladybug: LMFAOOOOOOO
Ladybug: we're riding the train that chat noir is a furry i love it
Ryuko: Chat Noir would compliment King Monkey about how he looks.
Viperion: this won't happen but he'd ask "if you want to date just ask, my king"
Ladybug: pssshhhtttt you guys don't know chaton like i do
Ladybug: he'd sent in this gc the screenshot and is like "???"
Chat Noir: screenshot-876.png
Chat Noir: congratulations to viperion
Viperion: pay up losers
Ladybug: WHAT
Ladybug: chaton are you fucking serious
Chat Noir: this poor feline heart has been broken after countless rejections by his beloved maiden
Chat Noir: he believed he would remain unloved for all eternity
Chat Noir: until, one day, the magic mirror reveals to him the visage of the charming, humorous king from the eastern lands...
Rena Rouge: pack it up shakespeare
Carapace: id make this into a movie ngl
Ryuko: Please don't.
Ladybug: i thought i was your lady!!!
Chat Noir: milady reading comprehension
Chat Noir: the very first line
Ladybug: you shut up
Ladybug: no more cookies for you on patrol
Chat Noir: My dear, gorgeous partner. Oh Ladybug, oh Lady Luck, oh Mistress of Fortune. Bless this feline of misfortune with your beautiful eyes. Gaze upon me like the wretched servant am I. My dear lady.
Carapace: the switch up is crazyy
Viperion: lb hands out the goods from Dupain-Cheng bakery during patrols
Viperion: apparently chat loved them bc irl he can't go buy it himself or when he did it's always sold out
Chat Noir: if you'd be me you'd be less scared of angry ladybug and more scared of "no cookies for you" ladybug
Chat Noir: that's like... if an akumatized person didn't get a lucky charm afterwards bc lb hates em
Ladybug: I'd never do that!!
Ladybug: we've saved some ppl i hate but i gave them the charms
Ladybug: i mean on top of it being weird and bad for my image as ladybug if I don't give them one, it's our duty as superheroes to help the people terrorized by hawkmoth.
Ladybug: it doesn't matter if i hate that person. they're a victim like everyone else, and my job is to ensure they don't fall into hawkbitch's clutches again
Ladybug: what happens when im a civilian, though...
Chat Noir: see
Chat Noir: you can give this super inspiring eye opening mind boggling speech on discord
Chat Noir: and then the second we're invited to an interview you'd smile and wave and let me do the talking
Ladybug: guys cancel chat noir he's against people with stage fright
Ladybug: his tiktok is @chaton_noirz, his Instagram is @chatnoir_official, his ladyblog acc is @Cataclysm
Rena Rouge: don't expose him like that lady boss 😭
Carapace: how'd you know so much anyways
Chat Noir: YEAH AND HALF OF THOSE ARE PASSWORD PROTECTED
Chat Noir: gasp is this what im thinking about
Chat Noir: my lady is my stalker
Ladybug: I'M NOT WHAT
Ladybug: i might uh
Ladybug: i might have looked at your baton functions... and accidentally found it.
Viperion: in what scenario would you have enough time to look at chat noir's baton to look up all his social media accounts
Pegasus: Ladybug, I'm afraid this is a losing battle.
Pegasus: Good morning everyone.
Chat Noir: wdym it's morning
Chat Noir: good morning to you too Pegasus
Ladybug: IM LATE FOR SCHOOL
Ryuko: It's Saturday.
Ladybug: oh.
Carapace: lowkey you guys should let us just fight the akuma while you sleep bc like i feel it's getting to an unhealthy point for you two
Ladybug: it's not really our decision to just always get you on the miraculous.
Chat Noir: complicated matters on the jurisdiction of upper management level
Chat Noir: further discussion about it pending but we always chickened out to ask big boss
Ladybug: one of these days surely
Viperion: take a shot everytime ladybug says "one of these days surely"
Ladybug: I've only said it two times!!
Ladybug: you guys are bullying me
Chat Noir: cute
Rena Rouge: cute
Viperion: cute
Carapace: cute
Ryuko: Cute...
King Monkey: cute!!!
Pegasus: Cute.
Ladybug: (≧▽≦)