Archive of Our Own

It hadn’t even been three days at Maya’s new school before Carina DeLuca decided they were friends. 

In all fairness, Maya had barely realized that was what was happening. She’d spent most of lunch sitting alone, picking at her sandwich while trying very hard not to think about the fact that she didn’t know anyone.

The move had been her dad’s idea.

A better school district, better opportunities, better running teams and a job that would give him more freedom.

It hadn’t mattered to him that he was taking them away from her mother’s job, and friends. From Maya and Mason’s school and classmates, or from the family next door that would always sneak them extra candy.

She supposed the one good thing was that it happened right as she went into middle school.

“Why are you sitting by yourself?”

Maya looked up, a girl with dark hair was standing in front of her, lunchbox hanging from one hand. “What?”

The girl rolled her eyes, sighing as she sat down next to her. “You look lonely.”

“I’m not lonely.” A frown crossed Maya’s face. It wasn’t that the girl was wrong, but she wasn’t about to confirm that.

“I’m Carina.”

The frown on her face didn’t go anywhere. “I didn’t say you could sit here.”

Carina opened her lunchbox. “I know.” She pulled out a bag of home-made cookies and held them out.

Maya looked at the cookies, then at Carina, then back at the cookies. “Are you bribing me?”

“Is it working?” The girl grinned.

A small smile tugged on the blonde’s lips. “Maybe a little.” 

Carina pushed the cookies further towards Maya and smiled when she finally took one, before launching into a story about how she moved here two years ago from Italy with her mother and brother.

By the end of the week, they were sitting together in all their classes, and even Maya was now well aware they were friends. 

A month later they were inseparable.

By November, Maya knew the DeLuca house almost as well as she knew her own. Which was still something that surprised her. Two months earlier she had been the new girl sitting alone at lunch, and now she had a spot at the DeLuca dinner table. 

She knew which mug was her favourite and which floorboard creaked when she walked to Carina’s room. She knew Andrew would ask them to play soccer with him, though she had been firmly told by Carina it’s called football. And she also knew that Lucia would welcome her for dinner every night if it wasn’t for Maya’s dad.

That was the part Maya still wasn't used to.

People wanted her there.

She was sitting on the living room floor with Carina, both of them surrounded by homework they had mostly forgotten about.

Carina was supposed to be helping Maya with a maths problem, but instead, she was drawing little flowers in the corner of her notebook.

"You aren't doing your homework."

Carina looked up, completely unbothered. "Neither are you."

Maya looked down at her own paper.

She couldn't argue with that.

A small smile started to appear on her own face. "You distract me."

The brunette’s mouth opened slightly, an offended look on her face. "I do not."

"You do."

"I am helping you."

"You're drawing."

"Sì. They are important drawings."

Later that afternoon, Lucia stood in the doorframe, just observing the two girls sitting on the kitchen floor, eating snacks and talking about everything and nothing.

Maya was telling Carina about the Olympics she wanted to run in one day, and Carina was listening like it was the most important thing in the world.

Lucia didn’t interrupt them, instead taking her time to take it in. She had seen Carina make friends before, plenty of them, the girl was a social butterfly. But this was different.

Carina had always been kind and friendly.

But with Maya? With Maya, she was softer, more patient, like she had already decided Maya was someone worth taking care of.

"How was school, bambini?"

Carina immediately started explaining something about a teacher, Maya filling the story in left and right.

Lucia couldn’t help but smile, because somehow, in only two months, this little girl who had arrived nervous and unsure had become part of their home.

By Christmas, they were making friendship bracelets.

It had been Carina’s idea.

Of course it had.

She had found a bracelet-making kit at a craft store and immediately decided it was something they needed to do. She had shown up at Maya’s front door with a bag full of colourful string, seemingly enough supplies to probably make bracelets for their entire class.

Maya had stared at the mess in Carina’s hands, then at Carina, then back at the mess. "Carina."

Carina held the bag tighter. "Maya."

There was something about the way she said her name that made Maya already know arguing was pointless. She looked over her shoulder towards her mom, who was standing in the kitchen doorway with a soft smile and only shrugged.

Which was not helpful, because apparently everyone had already decided Carina was impossible to say no to.

So an hour later, they were sitting cross-legged on Maya’s bedroom floor, surrounded by colourful string and half-finished bracelets while Maya was concentrating so hard her tongue stuck out slightly.

Carina noticed, but she didn’t say anything. She simply smiled and continued working on hers.

Making the bracelets was supposed to be easy.

It was not.

Maya had to redo hers three times because the knots kept coming loose, and by the fourth attempt her fingers hurt.

The final result was slightly crooked, the string definitely wasn't tied as neatly as Carina's. But Maya looked at it like it was the best thing she had ever made. Because Carina had made one too, matching. And when they finally finished, Carina immediately held out her wrist.

"You have to wear it all the time."

Maya looked at her. "That's not how bracelets work."

Carina frowned, completely serious. "It is now.” She paused for a second, a small frown growing on her face. “Well you can take it off when you have to, but then you need to put it back on."

The blonde laughed, rolling her eyes, but she held out her wrist anyway.

Carina carefully tied the bracelet around it, making sure the knot was secure.

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

It was just the two of them sitting on the floor, their matching bracelets between them.

Maya sighed as she looked at Carina’s bracelet. "Yours is better."

"No, it isn't."

"It is."

Carina shook her head. "No. They're the same."

That was all Maya needed to hear, because at eleven years old, they just knew that they had something matching, and that was all that mattered.

By the end of the school year, Maya spent most afternoons at the track.

She was fast.

Really fast.

Her coaches noticed. Her dad noticed. And once her dad noticed something, he never let it go. "Again."

Maya bent over, hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. "Dad-"

"Again."

Maya swallowed a groan before she pushed off.

Another lap. Another chance to shave seconds off her time.

The first time Carina showed up to practice, Maya nearly ran off the track. As soon as she finished her first run, with an added lap, she looked toward the bleachers.

Carina was sitting there, crossed-legged, full attention on the blonde. Before she knew it, she was already running over. "What are you doing here?"

A smile tugged on Carina’s lips. "You said you were practicing."

"Yeah."

Carina shrugged. "So I came."

"As in... to watch?"

“I didn’t bring a book did I?” She teased, gesturing to the empty space around them.

Maya laughed. "You know you’re a little strange for watching me run in circles right?"

The grin on Carina’s face grew. "You're the one voluntarily running in circles."

That was a fair point.

The blonde rolled her eyes at her friend before taking off again.

And if she made sure to run just a bit faster when she got close to Carina’s bleacher that was nobody’s business.

After that, Carina kept appearing. 

Sometimes with homework, sometimes with books. But she usually just watched, waving every time Maya finished a set.

She was there, everytime Maya looked up, she was there.

And somehow that made the training just a little more fun.

A few months later, Maya won her first big race.

It wasn’t national, and nothing her dad considered important enough, but it was too important to lose.

She remembered crossing the finish line. Remembered hearing people cheering.

Remembered her dad shouting something she couldn't make out.

But the first person she looked for was Carina, already running toward her, nearly tripping over her own feet. "You won!"

"I know." Maya laughed.

"You actually won!" Carina was beaming, a proud look radiating from her face.

"I did it!" The blonde laughed, barely holding steady as Carina launched herself into a hug. Maya hugged her back without thinking, keeping the both of them upright.

By fourteen, things had changed. Maya was still running, but she was faster now, better.

Yet somehow, none of that ever seemed to be good enough.

She never seemed to be good enough.

Carina disagreed, heavily, and she always made sure to tell Maya that she was doing amazing, she’d set and continued to beat her own records.

But her dad didn’t think she was good enough. 

So he pushed her harder, training schedules, nutrition plans and goals that seemed impossible to achieve. There was always another race, another record, another flaw to fix, and another second Maya could shave off her time.

He was standing in front of her on the track, stopwatch in hand. "Your last lap was too slow."

Maya’s shoulders hunched over. "I was tired."

"So was everyone else." Lane said, crossing his arms.

"Okay." Maya stared at the ground, her voice soft, almost a whisper.

"Okay isn't good enough." He chastised before walking away.

Carina started noticing the changes before Maya did.

The dark circles under her eyes, the way she checked her watch constantly. She stopped laughing as much, she wasn’t allowed to sleep over anymore.

Maya stopped having time.

At first, it was small things. "I have to leave half an hour earlier." and, "I have an extra workout tomorrow." or even "Dad changed my schedule." Carina didn't think much of it, training was important, every run mattered. It made sense. 

Except it became more and more common for her workouts to become longer and when Maya was allowed to have a movie night, they became shorter. Instead of staying for dinner, she'd glance at the clock and quietly say she should probably go home.

Half of their conversations somehow ended up back at running, a race, a workout, some time she had to make.

Carina didn’t mind it. Well, she didn’t mind most of it. She didn’t mind that Maya loved running, because that wasn’t a question, the blonde’s face would still light up when she had a particularly good run, or when she talked about wanting to make it to the olympics. 

She loved watching Maya’s face light up, loved when she could see the proud smirk on Maya’s face when she knew she was about to beat another record.

Couldn’t help the smile on her own face every time she saw Maya smile.

But what she did mind was that bit by bit, Maya’s joy was disappearing. Nobody else seemed to notice, but she did. She saw Maya’s smile drop when she didn’t beat her time, she could see the hurt whenever her dad didn’t approve of her results.

Maya loved running, and Lane liked seeing her be the best. The difference between him and Carina was that she loved seeing Maya happy, even if that meant half their time together was spent talking about running.

Even if it meant biting her tongue about what she thought of Maya’s dad.

One Friday night, Maya showed up at the DeLuca house without warning.

Lucia answered the door. "Maya!"

Maya managed a smile. "Hi."

"Come in." Lucia immediately stepped aside.

The door closed behind her, and Maya had barely taken her shoes off before Carina appeared in the hallway, yet the moment she saw Maya’s face, her smile disappeared. “What happened?”

Maya shrugged. “Will you believe me if I say nothing?”

"You're a terrible liar." Carina snorted.

Ten minutes later, they were sitting on the back porch.

"I came second." Maya murmured. Blue eyes were staring off into the backyard.

Carina waited for a second before replying, unsure if her friend was going to say anything else. "Okay…"

"My dad's mad."

Carina frowned. "You came second." She shuffled forward a little, trying to look Maya in the eye, but the blonde continued to stare off to the side. 

"I know." Her voice was still soft, almost like she was ashamed of herself.

"Out of how many people?" 

"Doesn’t matter,” Maya’s tone got harsher, not mad, Maya never got angry with her. Only with herself.  “I didn’t win."

Carina stared at her. "Maya."

Maya picked at a loose thread on her sleeve. "He said I should've won."

Something sharp settled in Carina's chest.

Because Maya sounded like she believed him.

"You know that's ridiculous, right?"

Maya didn't answer and Carina nudged her shoulder. "Maya."

Still nothing.

"You're fourteen."

A tiny laugh escaped Maya. "Thanks."

"I'm serious." She said, wrapping an arm around the blonde.

"You always are." Maya said with a soft smile.

Small, but real.

Carina decided she'd take it.

“You don’t have to win to be great, Maya.”

Maya's smile faltered, and Carina immediately wished she could take the words back. She hadn't meant to upset her. She'd only wanted Maya to smile again, even if it was just for a second.

Maya sighed, slightly leaning into Carina, though her shoulders were tense and her gaze was firmly trained on the yard. “He said I was a failure,” she said quietly. “That I didn’t have to bother coming home tonight.”

“Maya…” The name escaped before Carina could stop it. She’d heard Lane be demanding before. He was strict, loud, and she hated most of his behaviour. But this…

This was different.

“It’s fine Carina.” Mays shrugged, though it looked forced. “I should’ve done better.”

Carina turned to face her completely. “No.”

Maya frowned. “What do you mean, no?”

“I mean no.” Carina searched Maya’s face, looking for the smallest hint, looking for anything that indicated she didn’t believe what she’d just said.

She didn’t find one.

Instead, she found a fourteen year old girl, her best friend, who seemed to genuinely believe coming second in a race meant she was a failure and something about that made Carina’s chest ache.

“You came second,” Carina said carefully. 

"I still lost."

"You also beat everyone else."

"It wasn't enough."

"For him," Carina corrected gently.

Maya didn't answer.

That silence told Carina everything she needed to know.

She hated that.

Hated that Lane's voice had somehow become louder than Maya's own.

For a long moment neither of them spoke. The only sounds were the crickets in the garden and the distant laughter drifting from somewhere down the street.

Carina wished she knew the right thing to say. She wished there were words that could untangle years of impossible expectations. But there weren’t any, or at least she didn’t know them.

So instead she did the only thing she knew how to do. She reached over and took Maya's hand. Maya's fingers curled around hers almost immediately, like she'd been waiting for someone to reach first.

Carina squeezed gently. "I don't think you're a failure."

Maya let out a humourless laugh. "You're my best friend, you’re biased."

"Maybe… but I still think you're one of the strongest people I know."

Maya looked down at their joined hands. "You kind of have to say that."

"I absolutely do not."

That earned another smile.

Tiny.

Barely there.

But real enough that Carina felt herself relax.

After a while Maya spoke again, so quietly Carina almost missed it. "...Do you think your mom would mind if I stayed here tonight?"

Carina looked at her. There it was. The question Maya had been trying not to ask. She’d been waiting like she needed permission. "As if she'd mind?" Carina snorted softly. "Maya, Mamma would probably be offended if you didn't."

A faint blush crept across Maya's cheeks. "I didn't want to invite myself."

"You never have to." Carina bumped her shoulder against Maya's. "Come on."

"What?"

"We'll tell Mama you're staying."

"What if she says no?"

Carina laughed. "She'll ask whether you want pasta or pizza."

Despite everything, Maya laughed too. It was quiet, clearly tired but still real. And the brunette couldn’t help but smile to herself. Maybe she couldn't make Lane kinder, and maybe she couldn't stop Maya from hurting.

But she could make sure Maya never had to wonder if there was somewhere she was wanted.

And if that place happened to be the DeLuca house...

Then Carina would keep making room for her.

Every single time.

Later that night, they were curled up on Carina's bed, a movie playing quietly in the background. Neither of them was paying much attention to it.

Maya had started asking questions about halfway through, then stopped altogether. Carina wasn't even sure she was watching anymore, but she didn’t push.

They didn't always need to talk.

That was one of Carina's favourite things about Maya.

Silence never felt awkward with her, it never needed to be filled.

They could sit together for hours, reading different books, watching different things, doing homework, and somehow it still felt like spending time together.

Carina had never found that with anyone else.

At some point Maya shifted, slow and careful, until her shoulder brushed Carina's.

Another few minutes passed before her head came to rest there instead.

It happened so naturally that Carina was almost certain Maya hadn't realized she'd done it.

She smiled to herself, because Maya always did that. It didn’t matter where they were, on the couch, in the car, after long study sessions and sometimes on the bleachers after races or even training.

Whenever Maya was tired enough to stop thinking, she’d end up a little closer. It’s something that Carina stopped questioning years ago, so she simply adjusted without thinking, leaning just enough to make the blonde more comfortable.

Within minutes, Maya’s breathing evened out.

Asleep.

Carina glanced down at her, the tightness she’d seen in her shoulders had finally disappeared, so had the crease between her eyebrows. For the first time since she’d gotten to the DeLuca house she looked like a fourteen year old and not someone who was carrying the weight of the world.

Carina wished she looked like that more often.

Carefully, so she wouldn’t wake her, she reached for the blanket folded at the end of the bed and pulled it over both of them.

Maya didn’t stir, only unconsciously curled a little closer, and the brunette couldn’t help the smile tugging on her lips. She reached down, absentmindedly turning the friendship bracelet still comfortably around Maya’s wrist between her fingers.

The thread had faded over the past two years, and one corner had started to fray. It was far from perfect, but they both still wore them every day, only taking it off when they absolutely had to.

Sometimes Carina wondered if Maya remembered making them the way she did. Because Carina remembered everything, from the first cookie they shared to the afternoons spent on the track, and the way Maya always looked for her after crossing a finish line, no matter how small the race.

She wished she could have been at Maya’s race today, but between needing to watch Andrea and the race not being in their city, there was no way for her to make it work.

She couldn’t wait until she had her drivers license.

Somehow, without either of them noticing, Maya had become the person Carina looked for as well. 

Maya was the first person she wanted to tell when something exciting happened. The first person she wanted beside her after a bad day. The one who made every place feel a little more like home simply by being there.

Neither of them seemed to realize they had already become each other's favourite place to land.

They’d met Andy their third week of high school, or better worded, that was when Carina officially decided Andy was going to be part of their lives.

Maya had been less convinced. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Andy, she seemed great. She had walked into the classroom, immediately started talking to Carina like they had known each other for years, and somehow within an hour Andy knew exactly where to find them during lunch and after school.

Carina had always been like that, she collected people. She saw something she liked and simply decided that person belonged. In all honesty it was something that Maya admired about her, but it also scared her a bit. 

Because friendships were distractions, dad was clear about that. Every minute not spent training was a minute wasted. Friends wouldn't help her win. Friends wouldn't make her faster. Friends wouldn't get her to the Olympics.

So Maya tried to keep things simple.

Running.

School.

Home.

Except then there was Carina, and Carina had never once acted like Maya was something that needed fixing, like she needed to stop running..

She had simply made space for her.

And then Andy had done the same.

At first, Maya had stayed quiet around her. She listened more than she spoke and she let Carina carry most of the conversations.

She convinced herself that was easier.

But Andy didn't let her disappear.

She asked Maya questions, teased her, and showed up at some of her races. She learned exactly how competitive Maya was and immediately figured out how to tease her about that as well without pushing the blonde past her limits.

Slowly, without Maya noticing, Andy became another person she trusted. Someone beside the DeLuca family who saw her as more than just a runner, someone else who didn’t care about her times or her potential. 

Just Maya.

And really, Carina was just happy Maya hadn't given up on them as her dad’s drills became more and more intense.

Almost a year later, the three of them sat on a picnic blanket in the park with Andrew, like they did almost every week.

Sometimes it was just the four of them sitting around talking.

Sometimes it meant Andrew and Carina were trying to study while Andy and Maya argued about something completely unnecessary.

And sometimes it meant Maya spent half the afternoon running laps around them because she hadn’t hit the targets.

"Maya, catch."

Maya barely had time to react before a bag of chips hit her in the chest. She glared across the picnic blanket at a grinning Andy. "You looked bored."

"I was just sitting!" Maya said with fake annoyance.

"Same thing."

Maya threw the bag of chips back at her, not two seconds later Andy was already throwing it back to her.

The argument lasted approximately thirty seconds before Carina stole the bag from both of them.

"Children."

"We're literally the same age," Andy pointed out.

Carina ignored her.

Later, as the sun was setting and Carina and Andrew were packing their backs, Maya and Andy were stretching before going on a run together.

Over the years, Maya had invited Carina on a run plenty of times. After trying seven times, six of those only because she knew it would make Maya smile, Carina had confidently declared that she was simply not built for running.

Not on Maya's level, anyway.

Andy, on the other hand, genuinely enjoyed it. Once a week had somehow become their routine, usually ending with Maya trying, and failing, to convince Andy to run "just one more lap."

As Maya stretched, her attention drifted across the grass without her really meaning it to.

It landed on Carina.

She was laughing at something Andrew had said, trying to wrestle a blanket into an impossibly small bag while Andrew offered increasingly unhelpful suggestions.

A strand of hair had escaped the ponytail she'd thrown them into that morning, catching the last of the evening sunlight. Every few seconds she'd blow a loose strand away from her face before giving up entirely and tucking it behind her ear.

Maya smiled. She didn't think about it, she never really did.

Looking for Carina had become second nature years ago. Whenever they were in a room together, Maya always seemed to know where she was. If something funny happened, she looked for Carina to see if she'd seen it too. If something exciting happened, Carina was the first person she wanted to tell.

If she was surrounded by a hundred people, somehow her eyes still found familiar dark hair within seconds.

It was just... Carina.

Nothing unusual about that.

"Oh my God."

Maya blinked, pulled back into the present. "What?"

Andy was looking at her with an expression the blonde couldn't quite place. "The face."

Maya frowned. "What face?"

"The Carina face."

"There isn't a Carina face."

"There absolutely is."

Maya rolled her eyes, though she could feel warmth creeping into her cheeks for reasons she couldn't explain. "There isn't."

Andy looked spectacularly unconvinced, rolled her eyes with a soft chuckle and let it go. "Whatever you say, Mai."

Confused, Maya glanced back towards Carina.

She was still laughing, still arguing with Andrew over how they were packing the bags.

When Carina happened to look up and caught Maya watching, she grinned and gave her a small wave. Without thinking, Maya smiled back.

Only when Andy let out the most exaggerated sigh she'd ever heard did Maya realise she was still smiling and she quickly looked away.

She had no idea why Andy was making such a big deal out of it.

Carina was her best friend.

Of course looking at her made Maya smile.

By the time they got home, the sky had turned a deep shade of orange.

Andrew disappeared upstairs almost immediately, claiming he wasn’t staying in jeans when his sweatpants were right up.

Carina wandered into the kitchen instead. Lucia was already there, putting leftovers into containers while humming softly to herself.

"How was the park?" she asked.

Carina smiled as she reached into the cupboard for a glass. "It was fun."

"You all had a good time?"

She nodded. "Maya and Andy went for their run."

Lucia glanced over with a small smile. "Oh?"

"I’m pretty sure Andy is trying to convince Maya to sign up for another charity race."

Lucia laughed. "I assume you're not joining them."

"Absolutely not." Carina said, making a face.  She filled her glass with water before continuing. "I think even Maya doesn’t think she can turn me into a runner anymore."

"You've been saying no for years, bambina."

"I know, she still asks sometimes though. It’s sweet and-." She faltered, a smile starting to creep up on her face.

"And?" 

"I think she likes watching me complain." The smile on her face grew.

Lucia chuckled quietly. "I think she just likes spending time with you."

Carina shrugged. "I guess, but so do I." She took another sip of water. "Oh, and Maya finally beat her personal best on that trail she's been talking about."

Lucia nodded. "That's wonderful."

"Yeah." Carina smiled to herself. "She was really happy."

She didn't notice Andrew walking into the kitchen.

He leaned against the doorway, arms folded, listening. 

"Maya also almost tripped over a tree root." Carina laughed. "It was actually pretty funny."

Andrew raised an eyebrow. "Anything else?"

Carina looked over. "What?"

"I don't know." He pushed himself off the doorway. "I just figured there must be more to say."

She frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Andrew opened the fridge. "You've spent the last five minutes talking about Maya."

"I have not."

"You have."

"I was answering Mamma."

Andrew looked at Lucia. "Mamma, back me up."

Lucia hid a smile behind the container she was drying. "I wasn't really keeping count."

Andrew snorted. "You never do."

Carina folded her arms. "She's my best friend."

"I know."

"So obviously I talk about her."

"I know."

"I don't see the problem."

Andrew watched her for a long moment. There wasn't one, not really.

Not if you ignored the way her entire face lit up whenever she said Maya's name or if you ignored the smile she'd been wearing since they'd left the park. Not if you ignored the fact that every story somehow became a story about Maya.

He sighed.  "Never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing." He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl. "You're hopeless."

Carina frowned as he headed back toward the stairs. "I still don't know what I did."

Andrew just shook his head, laughing to himself. Sometimes he wondered if his sister realised how often she talked about Maya. He honestly didn't know how two people could make something so obvious look so invisible.

Maya came second.

Again.

The time should have been good enough.

It was good enough.

Everyone else said it was, her coach said it, her teammates said it.

Dad disagreed. "You let her pass you."

Maya stared at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. "I know."

"You stopped pushing."

"I didn't."

Her dad laughed. It wasn't a happy sound or even amused. His laugh was sharp and disappointed. The kind of laugh that made Maya's stomach twist before he even spoke again.

"Then explain it."

Maya opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

Because she didn't have an explanation. She'd given everything she had, her legs were still burning. 

She hadn't stopped trying.

She'd just... lost.

Lane took her silence as an answer. "I don't spend all this time training you just so you can settle for second place."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

The words landed harder than Maya expected. She looked back toward the track. The other runners were taking pictures with their families.

Everyone was smiling and the blonde couldn’t help but wonder what that would feel like.

Lane picked up his bag. "Maybe next time you'll remember that second place is just first loser."

He didn't wait for a response, just walked away, leaving her standing there. By the time he disappeared into the crowd, Maya felt hollow, tired, embarrassed and angry.

Mostly at herself.

She should've run faster, found something more. But most importantly, she should’ve just won.

Around her, the noise faded into the background. Maya barely heard any of it regardless.

She walked until she found an empty section of the bleachers and lowered herself onto the cold metal bench.

She wasn't ready to go home.

Dad wouldn't want to drive home with a loser anyway.

A few minutes later, the bench shifted slightly when someone sat beside her.

Maya didn't bother looking up. Instead, she let her hand drift across the bench until her fingers brushed against familiar rings.

Carina.

Of course it was Carina.

That wasn’t something Maya had to question.

Only then did Maya glance sideways and saw that Carina was holding out a paper bag.

She frowned. "What is this?"

"Food." Carina said with a small smirk.

"I'm not hungry." The lie tasted almost as bad as the disappointment sitting in her chest.

She was hungry.

She always was after races.

But that was something for winners.

Second place didn't.

Carina didn't argue, she simply opened the bag. The smell of fresh fries immediately drifted between them and as if on cue, Maya's stomach growled loudly enough that she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

Carina's lips twitched. "Sure." She took the first fry herself, she didn’t say anything, just continued to sit there.

No pressure.

No expectations.

Just... there.

By the seventh fry, Maya had quietly started stealing them from the bag herself while Carina pretended not to notice.

Eventually though, the blonde broke the silence. "He said I should've won."

Carina's fingers tightened almost imperceptibly around the paper bag. She'd heard enough from Lane over the years to know exactly how those conversations usually went.

She still hated every single one.

"Do you think you ran badly?"

Maya shook her head. "No."

"Do you think the girl who won cheated?"

"No."

"Do you think coming second is embarrassing?"

Maya hesitated, her eyes stayed fixed on the track. "I..." she swallowed. "I failed."

The words were so small, yet so certain. Maya said them as if they were simply a fact.

Carina's heart broke a little.

She turned fully towards Maya. "No."

Maya frowned.

"You beat almost everyone out there."

"I didn't beat the only person who mattered."

"To your dad," Carina corrected gently. "Maya... you were incredible."

"I wasn't good enough."

"You were."

Maya shook her head harder this time. "You don't have to say that."

"I do." Carina's voice was firm now, steadier than she felt. "I do, because nobody else seems willing to."

Maya finally looked at her. There was so much hurt in her eyes that Carina had to resist the urge to hug her right there.

"Say it."

Maya frowned. "What?"

"Say you were amazing."

A tiny, almost disbelieving laugh escaped Maya. "Carina..."

"I'm serious."

Maya looked away again.

She couldn't.

The words stuck somewhere behind her ribs. Because amazing people won. Amazing people didn't disappoint their fathers.

Carina reached over, gently taking her hand. "I watched every second of that race." Her thumb brushed across Maya's knuckles. "I watched you cross that finish line completely exhausted."

She smiled sadly before squeezing Maya’s hand. "If that's what failing looks like… I think the rest of us are aiming far too low."

For the first time since the race, Maya felt the corners of her mouth twitch. It wasn't much, but it was there.

Carina decided that, for today, it was enough. In a moment, she’d coax her friend up, she would drive the both of them back, but she’d tell Maya to spend the night at the DeLuca home instead.

She knew how it would go, eventually exhaustion would set in. Maya’s head would rest on Carina’s shoulder, and while neither of them would acknowledge it, it was practically second nature to them. 

It happened all the time.

Eventually though, Maya would fall asleep, and Carina would stay exactly where she was, ignoring the pins and needles creeping into her arm, ignoring everything except the fact that Maya finally looked peaceful.

She just wanted to take care of Maya. 

That race had been years ago now, and the blonde had won almost all of her races since. But the few times she did come in second had all ended with her at the DeLuca house. 

Now, Carina had other things to worry about. She’d spent half her morning worried about both the anatomy practical she’d almost missed and the flight she was currently on her way for. And despite the stress that had been practically radiating off her, her classmates had all asked the same question. “You’re really flying to London?”

Carina had nodded each time without looking up. 

The usual follow up to that, seemed to be. "It's one race."

At that, she did look up, with a smile tugging on her lips. "Maya's running." Because to her, that explained everything. It wasn't just a race. It was the Olympics.

It was something Maya had worked towards since she was a little girl running laps around a local track while Carina sat in the grass, sometimes pretending to read a book she barely looked at.

Her classmates exchanged confused looks and one laughed. "You spent all that money for a weekend?"

She checked her watch again, her smile widening when she saw it was finally time to leave for the airport. "Yes." She said as she stood up.

"But why?"

She paused, genuinely trying to think of another explanation.

There wasn't one.

"Because Maya's running."

Carina had expected security.

She had not expected quite this much security.

So she waited right outside the Olympic Village. Probably closer than any of the security guards wanted.

She watched as athletes from every country in the world walked past. She had to admit that the excitement was contagious. Everyone looked focused, determined, nervous, but most of all they all still looked excited. 

Carina wondered if Maya looked the same..

"Carina!"

She looked up.

Maya was already jogging towards her. As if she couldn't help herself, and the moment she reached her, she wrapped Carina in a hug so quickly neither of them had time to think about it.

Carina laughed. "I thought Olympic athletes weren't supposed to sprint the day before their race."

Maya pulled back, grinning. "I didn't sprint."

"You absolutely sprinted."

"I lightly jogged."

"You almost tackled me."

"I was excited." The words slipped out so naturally that Maya didn't seem to notice she'd said them.

Carina did.

Her smile softened. "So am I."

The restaurant wasn't fancy.

Maya had picked somewhere quiet a few streets away from the village. "I can only stay a couple of hours," she apologised as they sat down. "My coach will kill me if I'm late."

Carina laughed. "I promise not to get you disqualified."

Maya rolled her eyes. "You joke..."

They ordered, or rather, Maya ordered exactly what she'd been instructed to eat.

"You miss fries, don't you?"

Maya looked up. "... Maybe."

A smug look crossed Carina’s face. "I knew it."

Maya sighed dramatically. "I would do questionable things for fries."

"Questionable?"

"I'd consider pineapple on pizza."

For a little while, London disappeared.

There was no Olympics.

No cameras.

No pressure.

Just two friends having dinner together.

Exactly as they'd done hundreds of times before.

Afterwards though, they wandered through the streets while Maya pointed out landmarks she’d already seen.

At one point Maya reached over without thinking and took Carina's hand to guide her across a busy road. Neither commented on it.

Neither let go immediately afterwards, either.

As they walked, Maya found herself relaxing in a way she hadn't managed all week. With Carina beside her, she wasn't "Olympic favourite."

She was just...

Maya.

Carina asked about the dining hall and the opening ceremony. She asked about all of the other athletes she’d met. But she listened with the same fascination she'd always had whenever Maya talked about running.

Not because she loved athletics.

Because Maya did.

After about twenty minutes of Maya nonstop talking, she stopped. “... sorry.”

"What for?"

"I've been talking a lot."

Carina smiled. "I know, I’m right here listening."

"You don't mind?"

"I asked."

Maya smiled back before she could stop herself.

No.

Carina never minded.

There was a brief, almost awkward pause as they reached the gate. Neither of them seemed particularly eager to be the one to say goodbye.

Maya glanced towards the Olympic Village behind her before looking back at Carina. She knew she should head inside. Her coach had told her, in no uncertain terms, she better go out and take her girl to dinner, but it did come with a strict curfew.

Still, her feet refused to move into the village. Instead, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Carina again.

This hug lasted longer than the first.

Tighter, too.

She hadn't realised how much she'd needed to see Carina until she'd been standing in front of her. The noise of London, the cameras, the endless interviews, the pressure she'd been carrying all week... somehow it all felt quieter whenever Carina was nearby.

"Thank you for coming," Maya murmured, her voice almost lost against Carina's shoulder.

Carina hugged her back without hesitation, resting her cheek briefly against Maya's hair. "There was nowhere else I would've been."

She meant every word. Everything else could wait. Maya only got one first Olympic Games. There wasn't a version of the world where Carina missed it.

Maya smiled against her shoulder. She believed her, completely.

Reluctantly, she let go and took a small step backwards, slipping her hands into the pockets of her jacket to stop herself from reaching for another hug.

"Good luck tomorrow," Carina said softly.

Maya's smile widened. "I'll see you in the stands."

"You'd better." Carina laughed, unable to hide the excitement bubbling inside her. "I'll be the one crying when you win."

A quiet laugh escaped Maya. "I haven't even started yet."

"I know." Carina smiled back, but as Maya turned to leave, something tugged at her chest.

She couldn't explain it. Maybe it was because tomorrow would change everything. Maybe it was because she'd watched Maya work towards this moment for almost half her life. Or maybe she simply wanted Maya to hear the words before anyone else's expectations drowned them out.

"Maya?"

The blonde stopped halfway through the gate and turned back immediately. "Yeah?"

Carina held her gaze.

For just a second, the crowds, the security guards and the village around them seemed to disappear.

"No matter what happens tomorrow..." She smiled, warmth softening every word. "I am so proud of you, bambina."

For a heartbeat, Maya simply stared at her. Nobody ever said things like that before a race.

Usually it was go win.

You've trained too hard to lose.

This was different, Carina wasn't proud of what Maya might do tomorrow. No, she was proud already. 

Maya felt something tighten in her throat. She blinked quickly, hoping the tears gathering in her eyes weren't obvious from where Carina stood. 

"Thanks," she managed quietly.

It didn't feel like a big enough word. Not for everything Carina had been to her. Not for flying across the world just to spend one evening together. Not for believing in her even before she'd stepped onto the track.

So instead she smiled..

The kind that reached her eyes.

Then, before she could do something ridiculous like run back for another hug, she turned and headed through the gate, carrying Carina's words with her.

They settled somewhere deep inside her, quieter than her dad’s voice had ever been.

But still there.

Her coach had been right, she did need tonight. The pressure that had been sitting on her shoulders suddenly felt lighter and she practically skipped the last few metres to her building.

She bounced up the first step-

And her food landed awkwardly on the edge of the step

Pain shot through her ankle, she stumbled, catching herself against the handrail before she could hit the ground.

For a second she froze.

No.

Not now.

Please...

She tested her weight carefully.

It hurt.

Enough to make her stomach sink.

Behind her, the security gate was already out of sight.

Carina had no idea.

Maya swallowed hard, took a slow breath, and started limping inside towards her room, hoping, desperately, it was only a twist.

The atmosphere in the stadium was unlike anything Carina had ever experienced before.

Tens of thousands of people.

Everyone had come to watch history.

Carina had only come to watch Maya.

When the athletes finally stepped onto the track, the crowd erupted. Carina found Maya instantly. She always did, but this time her smile lasted less than a second.

Maya's first few steps felt... wrong.

Not obvious.

Most people would never have noticed.

But Carina had spent years sitting beside running tracks, watching Maya train until sunset.

She knew the rhythm of Maya's stride almost as well as Maya herself.

Something was different.

She was protecting her ankle.

Carina's stomach dropped.

What happened?

Last night she'd been smiling and laughing as they walked through London. How had everything changed overnight? Maya's face betrayed nothing. She stood calmly behind the starting line, eyes fixed ahead as though there wasn't a single thing wrong.

Carina knew better.

The starting gun fired and, at least for Carina, the stadium disappeared.

Years later people would ask what it had been like to watch the race, they’d have questions about things like the atmosphere, the times or even the seat itself. But Carina never had good answers, because truthfully, she remembered little of it.

She remembered Maya.

Nothing else.

Every lap, her eyes searched for the same thing. Maya’s face, and the ankle.

Every time Maya rounded the bend, Carina found herself holding her breath. Every time Maya pushed off, her heart clenched.

Around her, thousands of people cheered every surge and every overtake. Carina barely heard them.

She wanted Maya to stop, and the thought startled her. She wanted Maya to step off the track, to tell someone she was hurt, do whatever it took to get her to walk away from this safely.

But she knew Maya, better than anyone else. She knew what this race meant, how many mornings she’d been awake before sunrise, birthdays spent training, dinners at the DeLuca’s missed because “I need to shave more time off”. She knew how many tears she’d hidden after races where even first place somehow wasn’t good enough.

No.

Maya wasn’t going to stop.

Not today.

One lap left.

The stadium rose to its feet almost as one. Carina did too. Maya accelerated, but Carina could see the change immediately, she was fully running through the pain, real pain.

Maya came off the final bend.

Eighty metres.

Forty.

The finish line rushed towards her.

Then-

She crossed it.

Carina knew the stadium exploded around her.

But she never heard a word.

Her eyes stayed firmly on Maya.

Olympic champion.

Maya had done it.

Before anyone could reach her, Maya turned to search the stands. And Carina couldn’t help but laugh through the tears already running down her face.

Even now.

Even after everything.

Maya was looking for her.

Their eyes met for only a second, but that was enough.

Maya smiled, the real one that Carina had known since they were ten years old.

Carina smiled back, pressing a hand against her own chest as though it might somehow stop her heart from overflowing.

"You did it," she whispered. "You actually did it."

After that, it all blurred together, until finally, Carina was seconds away from being able to reach Maya. She looked exhausted, but most of all she looked so incredibly proud of herself. 

Carina crossed the distance between them before she could think twice and stopped directly in front of her, immediately pulling her into a hug. “You did it!”

She pulled back slowly, arms refusing to let the blonde go as her eyes started shining again. “You won, Maya." Her voice trembled with pride. "You won the gold, bambina. You would've still been my Maya if you hadn't won today." 

She smiled through the tears. "I would've been just as proud of you, but you did win." A laugh escaped her, watery and completely overwhelmed. "And I have never been prouder."

Almost four years later, nobody was surprised at how well Carina was doing in medical school, fully in the middle of her final tests and assignments. Medical school was hard, she slept less than she wanted to, the studying was endless and days where she barely remembered what home felt like.

Home.

Home that was no longer with Mamma and Andrea, but instead took shape into an apartment she shared with Maya.

Nobody questioned the decision, Lucia had even admitted she had been more surprised if the two of them didn’t move in together. Maya had moved with her across state lines, joined the fire academy and after graduating, managed to get placed in a station near their apartment and Carina’s university.

Carina still suspected Maya had used her Olympic status for that.

So here she was, in her final year of medical school, dead on her feet.

Maya noticed.

Of course she did. 

Carina loved to tease her that it was because Maya was a firefighter now, but they both knew better.

She always noticed her.

The first time Maya showed up at the library with food, Carina wasn't even surprised, she just looked at the bag in Maya's hand. "You brought me dinner."

Maya shrugged. "You forgot to eat."

Carina frowned. "How do you know that?"

Maya looked offended. "Because you always forget to eat when you're stressed."

It wasn't until later that Carina realized Maya knew her habits better than she knew her own.

The coffee order, the snacks, which hoodie she would want to borrow, the exact takeout she wanted after a bad day and the breakfast that would prepare her for a long day.

Maya remembered everything, and Carina did the same.

When the firefighter came home after a difficult shift, there were always drinks in the fridge she liked and a meal Carina had painstakingly started prepping and freezing for days like those. If Maya forgot to buy groceries, somehow the brunette had already added them to her own shopping list. Neither of them thought it was strange, they had no reason to.

Because to them, it wasn't special.

It was just Maya.

It was just Carina.

Carina wasn’t sure how Maya did it again, she still suspected her Olympic title helped, but when it came time for Carina’s residency to start back in Seattle, Maya transferred to a station nearby enough for them to continue living together.

By now, most people had stopped introducing her as an Olympic athlete.

Mostly.

There were still moments. Someone recognized her at the station, a probie who looked at her strangely, a reporter remembering the gold medalist who had disappeared from the running world years ago, and even some teen girls who were runners themselves and looked up to her.

Maya never knew what to say when people asked why she had walked away.

Everyone had opinions. "You won an Olympic gold medal and decided to run into burning buildings?"

Andy had asked her that the first time she realized Maya was serious when she asked about joining the Fire Department like she had. Maya had shrugged. "Basically."

Andy stared at her for a second before she laughed. "Honestly? I should've expected this. What does Carina think of it?"

The blonde hesitated, biting her lip. “She doesn’t know yet.”

It had been their longest fight to this day. 

Three days.

The truth was that Maya loved it.

She loved the team and the purpose it gave her.

Nobody here cared about her fastest time or her medals, well, maybe Jack, and sometimes SFD when they needed good press, but the rest of the team? They didn’t care.

Nobody cared about what Lane thought she should be.

They cared if she showed up and had their backs.

Once Carina had accepted that yes, her best friend was joining their other friend and they would both be running into burning buildings, she started to love it for Maya.

Because for years she had watched Maya spend her time running all because she was supposed to.

Now she got to watch Maya do something because she wanted to.

And there was nothing Carina loved more than seeing Maya happy.

Movie nights started during residency.

Despite the fact they were still living together, Carina wasn’t actually sure when she had last seen Maya.

So one Friday evening, Maya hadn’t even made it three steps into the apartment when Carina proudly showed her the freshly made dinner, and Netflix on the TV, a movie queued, ready to hit play.

A small smile grew on Maya’s face and the brunette gestured pointed over to the blonde’s bedroom door. “Go get changed quickly, we’re having mandatory dinner and a movie night.”

After that, movie night became a tradition.

Every week.

No matter what.

Friday, or the closest moment to it when shifts interrupted.

Bad day? Movie night.

Good day? Movie night.

Exhausted? Especially movie night.

Four alarm fire? Extension granted.

The fifty bucks punishment jar helped make sure there was movie night at least once a week.

Eventually everyone learned not to schedule anything during it. Andy tried it a couple times, but each time was met with a firm rejection.

She stopped trying after a year.

"You gotta come over Friday, Dad’s invited you." Andy said as they walked towards the station doors.

The blonde looked confused. "Why?"

"We're having dinner."

"Can't." Maya shook her head. 

Andy blinked. "Why?"

Maya looked at her like the answer was obvious, which, to her it was. "It's movie night, you know this."

Andy looked at her friend for a minute before sighing when she realized she again wasn’t going to win this. "You know normal friends don't have a weekly standing date, right? We don’t have this."

"Sure, but she’s Carina it’s- well- you know." Her gaze shifted to the ground, a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

Andy just stared. There wasn’t a question in anyone’s mind that those two were meant for each other. They just somehow managed to be the only two people unaware of this.

"Maya."

The blonde crossed her arms, but she didn't argue. Because maybe she knew what Andy was going to say. And sure, maybe she did.

Maybe she had been doing it for years.

Maybe she had built an entire life around one person without ever admitting why.

But Carina deserved better.

That was the thought Maya always came back to.

Carina deserved someone who wasn't carrying so much history, someone who wasn't haunted by every mistake.

Someone easier.

Someone who didn't wake up some mornings still feeling like the teenage girl who wasn't enough for her father.

Maya loved Carina too much to give her something broken.

At least, that was what she told herself.

So she stayed quiet.

Lucia had stopped pretending a long time ago.

She loved Maya. Everyone in the DeLuca family loved Maya.

She had been around since they were children. She had watched Maya grow from the shy little girl who shared a lunch table with Carina into an Olympic champion, then a firefighter, and somehow through all of it she had remained the same person.

Still kind, stubborn and still looking at Carina like she was something precious.

One evening, about two years after Carina and Maya had moved back to Seattle, Carina was sitting at the kitchen table in Lucia’s home with a glass of wine after a long residency shift, Lucia finally asked the question everyone else had been avoiding.

"When are you going to ask Maya out?"

Carina nearly dropped the glass. "Mamma."

Lucia looked completely unbothered. "What?"

Carina stared at her.

Because there was no way this conversation was actually happening.

"We're friends."

Lucia gave her the same look she had given Carina when she was twelve and insisted she hadn't eaten the last cookie.

"You have been saying that since you were sixteen."

Carina looked down at her wine. "Because it's true."

Lucia's expression softened, not because she believed her, far from it, but because she could still understand why Carina was saying it. "Carina."

Her daughter's fingers tightened around the glass, because the truth was, she had thought about it.

Of course she had.

Thousands of times.

There were moments where she would catch Maya smiling at her and wonder. Moments where Maya would reach for her hand without thinking and Carina's heart would forget how to beat properly. Moments where they would fall asleep next to each other during movie night and Carina would wake up with an arm around the blonde while wondering how something could feel so much like home.

But Maya was Maya.

Maya was an Olympic gold medallist.

A firefighter.

Brilliant.

Beautiful.

The kind of person people looked at and knew they were lucky to know.

Carina knew she wasn't nothing, she was intelligent and kind, she worked hard for everything she achieved and as she’d been told plenty of times, anyone would be lucky to go on a date with her.

But Maya had spent years giving her pieces of herself.

During undergrad, medical school and now during residency, for every impossible shift where Carina forgot to eat or sleep.

Sure Carina had been there for Maya when she was still running, but nothing felt as similar as to what the blonde was doing for her now.

Maya showed up.

Coffee. Food. A hand on her back. A reminder that she was allowed to rest. And, as much as Carina tried to protest it, Maya spent more on their life than Carina did. She was absolutely paying her back once she became an attending.

So no, she couldn't imagine Maya wanting more than that.

Couldn't imagine Maya looking at her the way Carina looked at Maya.

Not really.

So she chose the safer option. The one that hurt less.

Friendship.

Because having Maya as her best friend was better than risking a world where she didn't have Maya at all.

They encouraged each other to date.

That was the worst part. They wanted each other to be happy, even if that happiness wasn’t with them. 

"You should go." Maya told Carina one night after hearing about someone she had met. "She seems nice."

Carina smiled. "She does."

And despite the mirrored smile on Maya’s face, neither of them mentioned the ache underneath it.

Neither of them admitted that they hated the idea of someone else becoming the person they called first.

Carina went on dates.

Maya went on dates.

They even went on double dates.

They tried. They did.

But Maya would come home afterwards and find herself wishing Carina had been there with her instead.

And Carina felt the same, she would laugh with someone else and immediately think that Maya's laugh was better.

Both of them would look at their phone hoping for a message from the person they weren’t dating.

Everyone saw it.

The way Maya always searched for Carina first and Carina always saved the seat beside her. It was clear in how they reached for each other without thinking.

They built an entire life around one another and called it friendship.

Years passed and while nothing changed, their lives continued to get impossibly more intertwined.

More impossible to separate.

And still, when Andy asked. "When are you asking her out?"

Maya gave the same answer. "We're friends."

Andy just stared as she shook her head, because at this point, she wasn't sure Maya and Carina were oblivious anymore.

She was starting to think they were both just stubborn enough to commit to being wrong forever.

Carina was in her final year of residency when Andrew and Sam decided to get married, unlike the two women, they didn't circle around each other for twenty years, and three years after they started dating, this was finally the weekend of their wedding.

They had chosen a small venue tucked away somewhere in the middle of nowhere. A beautiful place that they had been promised would be worth it.

It had been his sister’s foolishness that pushed him to ask Sam to marry him. Tiny things. Hundreds of tiny things. But it was those tiny things that made him realize the love he and Sam had for each other.

Maya and Carina’s love was loud even in the silence. 

The day before the wedding was supposed to be relaxing. Just family, friends, good food, and a weekend away from everything waiting for them back home.

Maya sat across the garden from Carina, pretending to listen to Andrew explain something about the wedding preparations.

She wasn't actually listening, not anymore. Because Carina was laughing and that was it, that was all it took.

One laugh, one smile, one moment where her head tilted back slightly and her eyes crinkled at the corners, and Maya forgot whatever conversation she was supposed to be having.

She didn't even realise she was staring until Andy nudged her shoulder.

Maya blinked. "What?"

Andy followed her gaze before looking back at the blonde with a sigh. A long, exhausted sigh. "Do you ever get tired?"

Maya frowned. "Of what?"

Andy gestured vaguely between them. "This."

Maya looked confused. "There is no 'this.'" She said, vaguely imitating Andy’s gesturing.

Andy stared at her, for a brief moment she didn’t say anything before she shook her head. "You know what I think?"

"No." She was firm in her reply, whatever this was, she didn’t want to hear it.

Andy ignored her.

"I think you've spent so long convincing yourself you don't deserve her that you forgot to ask whether she actually wants you."

The words landed harder than Maya expected and her smile faded slightly. Because really, that wasn't a thought she wanted to examine. Not here, not when Carina was only a few feet away. So instead, she looked down at her hands, because Andy wasn't wrong.

That was the worst part.

Maya could run ten thousand metres against the best athletes in the world. She could push through pain until her body begged her to stop. She could walk into burning buildings. She could make impossible decisions in seconds and she had survived things that would have broken other people.

But Carina?

Carina was different.

Because believing that Carina DeLuca could look at her and choose her felt impossible.

Carina was brilliant, kind and warm. She was everything Maya had spent her life trying to become. And Maya had spent years thinking that loving Carina meant wanting something she had no right to ask for.

"You know she looks at you the same way, right?" Andy’s voice softened.

Maya didn't look up. "She doesn't."

Andy laughed quietly. "Maya."

The blonde finally looked at her and Andy shook her head. "You are so good at seeing everyone else except yourself."

Maya opened her mouth but then closed it again.

Maybe that was true. 

Maybe she knew exactly how Carina felt when it came to everyone else.

Just not when it came to her.

On the other side of the garden, Lucia had reached a similar level of patience.

Which was to say, none.

She watched her daughter watch Maya, not subtly and most definitely not casually. Carina looked at Maya the way people looked at things they loved. And yet, somehow, she still tried to insist they were friends. Lucia had heard that sentence for years and quite frankly, she was tired of hearing it. 

Very tired.

Carina was standing beside her, holding a drink and smiling as Maya said something that made her laugh. Lucia waited, she counted to five, then ten, before she decided she had waited long enough. "Carina."

Her daughter looked over. "Sì?"

Lucia nodded towards Maya. "If you do not marry that girl, someone else eventually will."

The words were meant as a joke.

Mostly.

But the reaction wasn't what Lucia expected. Because Carina didn't laugh, didn't make some sarcastic comment. Instead, something shifted in her expression. Something small enough that Lucia almost missed it. Almost.

Because the thought of Maya with someone else didn't feel ridiculous or like something that would obviously never happen.

It hurt.

A lot more than Carina wanted it to.

Lucia saw it immediately. "Exactly."

"That doesn't mean anything." Carina said, looking away

The older DeLuca smiled softly. "Doesn't it?"

She knew how safe she felt around Maya. How easy it was while at the same time absolutely terrifying.

Because losing Maya would be losing the person who had been there through every version of her for the past twenty years. Maya had always been there, and Carina had never once imagined a life where she wasn't.

Lucia touched her daughter's arm gently. "You know what the worst part is?"

Carina sighed. "What?"

"You both think the other one is too good for you."

That made Carina look back at her, because somehow, hearing it said aloud made it sound even more ridiculous.

Across the garden, Maya looked over at the exact same moment.

Their eyes met.

Neither looked away immediately.

They never did.

And from where Andy and Lucia stood, it was almost painful to watch.

Two people who had spent twenty years choosing each other, building their entire lives around each other.

The wedding had been beautiful. Not just because of the location, not even because of the flowers, music or the way the entire wedding felt like something right out of a movie.

It was beautiful because it was Andrew and Sam.

Because everyone who loved them had gathered in one place to celebrate them.

Carina had spent most of the day smiling, though she cried when Andrea said yes, cried more when he and his now wife held their first dance.

She laughed when Maya whispered jokes during the dinner and she danced barefoot by the end of the night because Maya had convinced her that nobody cared about uncomfortable shoes after midnight.

And, as always, Maya had been there.

Standing beside her, laughing with her and finding her hand whenever the crowd became too much.

Though now, she was standing at Andrea and Sam's wedding, watching Maya dance with Andrea, and she couldn't ignore the thought that had been following her all weekend.

"If you do not marry that girl, someone else eventually will."

Maya was Maya.

Her Maya.

Her best friend.

The person who had been there since they were children and built an entire life around her without ever calling it anything more.

She knew exactly how special she was.

For years she’d encouraged Maya to date, for years she had refused to consider the possibility of Maya liking her back, but now, the thought didn't feel impossible anymore.

Maybe it was the wedding and seeing two people promise to choose each other forever.

Or maybe it was simply that, after all these years, she was finally allowing herself to see what everyone else had seen from the beginning.

Carina looked away from Maya for a moment, trying to understand when exactly everything had become so obvious.

Then she felt it, someone watching her. And as she turned her head to the side, she found Andy looking at her from the edge of the dance floor.

And then Andy smiled, it wasn’t teasing, not even a knowing smile meant to embarrass her. Everything about Andy’s body language screamed finally.

Carina froze.

Because Andy knew.

Of course she did.

Andy had known them since high-school.

She knew about the training and races Carina didn’t have to witness. Knew that Maya searched for Carina in a crowded room and would’ve seen Maya's entire expression change the second Carina walked in.

Andy knew.

Lucia knew.

Did everyone know..?

Suddenly Carina had no idea how she had managed to convince herself that nobody noticed. Her eyes drifted back to Maya, as if sensing it, Maya looked up.

Their eyes met across the room.

And there it was, that same feeling.

The one Carina had been avoiding for years, hidden behind friendship and what she called comfort.

She was in love with Maya, that wasn’t news to her, she’d known that for years.

Never did she think she would be standing at her brother’s wedding, seriously considering that Maya might love her back.

By the time the sun had long set, and Maya and Carina reached the small room they were staying in, rain had started falling outside. 

Despite that, the room felt quiet to Maya.

Too quiet.

That was the problem. Maya was used to noise, the constant movement of life. But here, in the middle of nowhere, all Maya could hear was the rain against the windows. The heater humming softly and Carina breathing beside her.

The bed was smaller than she had expected. It wasn’t that they were uncomfortable, they weren’t, this wasn’t the first time they shared a bed.

They fit, always had.

When they were kids, Carina had fallen asleep against Maya's shoulder during movies.

When they were teenagers, Maya had collapsed against Carina after races, too exhausted to even pretend she was fine.

During highschool, college and medical school.

During the academy, residency and every other difficult moment life had thrown at them.

One of them had always ended up leaning into the other. Theoretically this was no different, except now Maya was aware of it.

Painfully aware.

She stared at the ceiling, listening to Carina shift beside her.

She knew Carina was awake.

After twenty years, Maya could tell the difference between Carina sleeping and pretending to sleep. "You're awake?"

Carina turned slightly towards her. "Yes."

Maya smiled faintly. "You didn't even pretend."

A small smile tugged at Carina's lips. "I know you."

The words were simple.

They shouldn't have affected Maya, but they did.

Because that was the thing about Carina, she always knew.

She knew when Maya was scared before Maya admitted it, when Maya was hurting before she said anything. And she knew when Maya needed someone beside her, even when she tried to insist she was fine.

The blonde swallowed. "I was thinking about the first time we met."

Carina smiled immediately. "The lunch?"

Maya turned her head. "You remember that?"

Carina laughed softly. "Maya." The affection in her voice made something warm settle in Maya's chest. "You were sitting alone with the saddest expression I have ever seen."

"I was not."

"You were."

"I was eating." Maya smiled.

"In the saddest way!” Carina looked away, but Maya could see the smile she was trying to hide.

Neither of them said what they were both thinking.

That it had always been that simple.

Carina saw her, and Maya let her.

"Do you still have it?" Maya said after a couple minutes, breaking the silence.

Carina frowned. "What?"

"The bracelet."

For a moment, there was only the sound of rain before Carina groaned, tilting her head backwards.

Maya smiled. "You do."

"I don't."

"You absolutely do."

Carina turned towards her. "Do you?"

Maya hesitated, it might’ve only been for a second, but it was enough for Carina to catch on to. “You do!”

Maya laughed. "It's in a box."

"You kept yours in a box?"

"You kept yours."

That made Carina stop, because she couldn’t argue that.

They had both kept them. The little pieces of string they had tied around each other's wrists when they were eleven years old. They had eventually taken them off when they became too tight. When they got older and their wrists grew. But apparently, neither of them had thrown them away.

Twenty years later, they still had them.

Carina shook her head, laughing. "We are ridiculous."

Maya smiled. "Probably."

She was about to mention their midnight dinners during Carina’s medical school when the brunette spoke up first.

"London." The word came out softer than Carina intended.

Maya smiled. "I still can't believe you came."

"Of course I came." Carina said as she shook her head. 

"Maya." She said her name gently, almost as if she couldn't believe they were having this conversation. "You were running."

This time the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it felt full of everything they had built together. The races, the movie nights and the hospital visits that Carina preferred to ignore are more frequent for Maya than she wants with her job. It felt full of late-night phone calls and grocery trips. Of coffee orders and all the ordinary moments that somehow became an entire life.

Maya stared at her. "Do you ever think about how weird it is?"

Carina tilted her head. "What?"

"That every important thing has you in it."

For a second, Carina could’ve sworn she stopped breathing.

The blonde looked down at their hands. "Every good memory." Her voice softened. "You're there."

And suddenly Carina couldn't pretend anymore.

Not to herself.

Not here.

And definitely not with Maya looking at her like that.

Because maybe, just maybe, all those years really weren't one-sided. Maybe every look, every touch, every time Maya chose her first...

"Maya."

The blonde looked at her. "Yeah?"

Carina sat up slowly, her heart was beating faster than it had during any surgery, which was ridiculous. She had delivered babies. She had made life-changing decisions. She had spent years handling emergencies.

But this?

This was terrifying.

"What if everyone is right?"

Maya frowned slightly. "What?"

Carina stood, needing space even though she didn't actually want distance.

Then Maya stood too. Automatically, just like she always did. Like she would follow Carina anywhere.

Carina almost laughed at how impossible they were.

"They're telling you too, aren't they?"

Maya froze.

For a second, neither of them moved.

"They tried to tell me too," Carina admitted quietly. "So many times."

Her voice shook. "But what if they're right?"

Maya stared.

"What if..." Carina took a breath. "What if we're not just friends?"

The silence afterwards felt endless.

Maya looked like someone had just handed her an answer she had spent years searching for but never expected to find. "Carina..."

"I know."

"No, I mean..." Maya shook her head. "I don't know what to say."

A nervous laugh escaped Carina. "That is probably the worst possible answer."

"No." Maya reached for her hand immediately.

Without thinking and without hesitation, just like she had done a thousand times before. Except now neither of them could pretend it was meaningless. "I spent years thinking you deserved someone better."

Carina's expression softened. "What?"

"Someone easier." Maya swallowed. "Someone who didn't have all my baggage."

Carina stared at her. "Maya."

"I thought you couldn't possibly feel that way about me." Her voice got quieter. "Because why would you?"

Carina's eyes filled, because suddenly she understood. They had both spent years protecting themselves from a rejection that neither of them would ever have given. "You idiot."

Maya laughed softly. "Yeah."

Carina smiled through the tears. "I have been in love with you for years."

Maya froze.

Completely.

Carina's smile became smaller and evidently more nervous. But then Maya’s smile grew on her face as she softly shook her head. Because it was impossible. After everything, after twenty years...

After all the almosts...

"Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to say that?"

Carina stared. "What?"

Maya smiled. "I have been in love with you for years too."

The brunette shook her head. "You are unbelievable."

Maya’s smile widened, there was something almost like amusement in her expression now, like she couldn’t believe it either. "It’s not like you didn’t know that already."

She opened her mouth to argue, and then stopped. She looked at Maya for a second, really looked at her while still holding onto her hands. "You spent years thinking I didn't love you."

"Yes." The blonde nodded immediately.

The answer was so simple that Carina almost laughed again. Because of course Maya had. Of course they had spent years convincing themselves of the same thing. 

She shook her head again, a smile still tugging on her lips. "While I spent years thinking you didn't love me."

Maya nodded again. "Also yes."

For a few seconds, they just looked at each other as they let the absurdity of it all hit. Twenty years of knowing each other. Twenty years of choosing each other.

Almost twenty years where they both believed they were alone in it. 

It was the most ridiculous thing either of them had ever done.

Maya took a step closer, a shaky exhale leaving her as she let one hand come to rest onto Carina’s waist instead. "You know what else I was waiting for?"

Carina smiled. "What?"

Her face softened, and her voice was barely more than a whisper. "You to kiss me."

Carina didn't hesitate.

Not this time.

Not after twenty years.

She closed the distance between them and kissed her.

And somehow, after years of almosts and what-ifs and pretending not to notice...

It was the easiest thing either of them had ever done.