Archive of Our Own

It’s a particularly cold, blustery day in January when Frank gets the phone call that flips his world upside down.

He’s blissfully unaware of it, though, hours before, as he makes his way through a tricky cricothyrotomy in South 15. Frank accepts a rare nod of approval from Robby before he exits, snapping his gloves off and turning to Mel. She’s mid-answer to a question from Mateo as he puts away some of the tools used during the procedure.

“Good catch.” Frank shoots her a proud smile, and she glows under his praise.

“Thank you,” Mel responds. Frank already knows she has to resist the urge to deflect or brush off the recognition. But she’s come a long way in the last six months–they both have. He’s proud to see her flourish since their friendship officially began, the day after that horrid 4th of July shift.

He tosses the gloves in the trash can as he steps out the door, glancing back at Mel. He can already feel Dana’s eyes on him, but he keeps his attention on Mel for one moment longer. “I gotta hit the head, meet you in North 10?”

Mel strips off her own gloves and follows him out the door. She veers off to the left as Frank drifts to the right, his eyes following her. He nearly jumps when Dana touches his elbow–he hadn’t seen her when he came out, but you know Dana. She’s always somewhere.

“So the kid’s gonna be okay?” Dana asks softly, her usual clipboard cradled in her arm.

“Kid’s gonna be okay,” Frank reassures her. Everyone in the ER knows Dana does her best to keep her game face on and not get attached to patients. But this one’s hitting everyone a little harder than usual. A 12 year old who’d come in with several nasty bites from a feral dog. His neighbor had brought him, worried to death over infections, especially since the kid was immunocompromised. It had been touch and go for a while.

“Thank god.” Dana’s shoulders drop. “Was really hoping we wouldn’t lose another little one today.”

Frank’s jaw tightens. It wasn’t his case, but by noon, everyone had heard. A toddler who’d come in with a mild head injury, that eventually led to a freak brain hemorrhage. Donnie was one of the last to come out of the room. Frank didn’t even have to look at the man to see how shaken he was. Frank couldn’t say he blamed him. He hadn’t even been there, but he had to physically restrain himself from pulling his phone out in the middle of the floor and calling Tanner’s and Penny’s school just to hear their voices.

He’d settled for sneaking away into a stairway corner and playing one of the many videos he’d taken from Tanner’s last birthday. It helped.

“You and me both. Hey, I gotta take a leak. Tell Mel I’ll be there in a minute.”

Frank lets his mind wander as he relieves himself for the first time in four hours. The twelve year old pulling through is one of the biggest highlights of his day. The other one? Mel shooting him a triumphant look as she managed to nail a tricky procedure on a patient with sudden onset blindness in South 20. He always loves seeing her excel at work, and especially how much more confident she’s grown in the six months of him consistently working with her.

Frank likes to think a small part of it has to do with him, in the way he’d seen her when no one else had. How he’d always made a point to acknowledge her efforts in front of everyone, and make sure she got good cases.

And especially how she seemed to light up whenever he showed genuine interest in what she had to say.

They’d only been hanging out here and there outside of work for a few months now. Frank had initiated it when he realized one day they kept talking about the history museum nearby. He hadn’t even questioned it when he blurted out that they should go that weekend, since they were both off.

Mel had gotten so excited that she said “yes” right away.

Frank thinks about that day a lot. He thinks about the way her brown eyes shone, her smile grew even bigger, and her body started shifting in her seat. Like she was so excited she just couldn’t contain it.

He’s thinking about it now as he zips his pants back up and hastens out the door towards North 10. But not for a weird reason. Only because he’s been looking forward to his plans with Mel after work that whole day. They’re checking out the new boba place downtown and wandering through the bookstore across the street. Mel’s been talking about the boba place almost the whole day. It’s been kind of endearing, actually.

He does not think about the tense conversation with Abby that morning before he left for work. Doesn’t need to. They’d already had it a hundred times. Frank doesn’t think about how much it frustrates him that he feels like the only one actually trying–whereas his wife, the woman who’d stood across from him at the altar in front of all their loved ones and pledged “till death did they part”, seems hell-bent on bringing up every fight they’ve ever had, every flaw she made sure he knew she couldn’t stand.

Frank pushes it all to the back of his mind as he catches Mel’s eye from her station, fighting the urge to smile when her face lights up. They fall into step beside each other and enter North 10 at the same time.

“Hi there, Mr. Solomon. I’m Dr. Langdon, this is Dr. King, and we’re gonna take a quick look at your foot, okay?”

Mel’s been gushing about all the different drinks she’d seen on the menu, and Frank is using every remaining ounce of his energy to keep his eyes on the road instead of shamelessly gazing at her the way he really wants to.

There’s just something about Mel King when she gets really excited or passionate about something. Frank marvels at it every time, and always wonders how everyone else who gets to witness this manages to be nonchalant about it.

Ever since becoming Mel’s friend, Frank doesn’t interrupt her if he can help it. So he waits for her to take a breath before jumping in and saying “that brown sugar one sounds really good, you should try it.”

Mel nods enthusiastically before continuing with “Right? But also, they have this other matcha one that–”

She’s cut off by a loud vibrating sound below them, her head swiveling towards the source. Frank’s gaze shifts downward as well to his phone in the cup holder, buzzing and lit up with–

He can see Abby’s name on his screen and half of her contact picture she’d saved in there forever ago. Great. She hasn’t answered any of his texts all day and now she decides to call? When she knows that he’d made plans with Mel after work? If she’s calling to ask where he is, Frank thinks he might throw his phone out the window.

He heaves out a sigh as he stops at a red light, just staring at the phone. He feels Mel’s eyes on him.

“Do you…do you need to get that?” Her voice comes out quiet, like she’s almost scared to ask.

Frank should answer. He really should. Maybe she’d been busy that day, maybe she wants to explain why she ignored his texts, or maybe it’s the kids.

No, they were fine. Tanner and Penny are with his parents for the night–Abby’s supposed to pick them up since Frank ended up working late. If there was anything really wrong, his mom would call.

Plus, Frank’s on the road, and he’d really rather not put his wife on speakerphone while his best friend/colleague/crush is sitting right next to him.

“Uh, no. It’s fine. I’ll call her back,” Frank lies. He doesn’t look at Mel. Feels an awful sense of relief when the phone stops vibrating and the screen turns black.

He’s a horrible husband.

But he can’t dwell on the sinking feeling too much when Mel wanders in front of him through the sci-fi aisle, half her brown sugar boba already gone. She shoots him a soft smile over her shoulder. Frank can’t help but smile back, his eyes softening. He can’t remember what he’s been annoyed over anymore.

Can’t really ignore the way butterflies always erupt in his stomach every time she smiles at him. Can’t fight the pull towards her as well as he used to, either. It’s fine. It’s just a crush. Crushes fade. Marriage is forever.

“Have you read this one, Frank?” Mel interrupts his thoughts, pulling a book off the shelf and brandishing it towards him. Her face is lit up the same way it was when they’d walked into the boba shop. Frank does not pay attention to the sharp ache in his chest. Instead, he sets his own boba drink on the shelf next to him and grasps the book from her hands.

He very pointedly does not pay attention to Mel’s pinky brushing against his palm as he grabs it, either.

It’s fine. He’s not humming like a live wire, about to burst out of his skin from her touch.

“Back in Time. No, can’t say I have. Sounds interesting, though.” Frank takes a sip from his drink so he doesn’t do something stupid, like offer to buy her the whole bookstore, or read the entire book out loud to her if she asked. “I’m guessing you have?”

Mel nods excitedly and starts rambling about the plot. Apparently, it’s a trilogy, and involves quite a lot of…time traveling and sorcery and other things, Frank is sure, but he’s too entranced by the sound of her voice to remember. He just knows he’d happily stand there and listen to her talk for as long as she’d let him.

“And then the horse transforms into–wait, I’m basically spoiling the whole thing for you, sorry. Just, you need to read it, Frank.” Mel huffs out an embarrassed laugh, taking the book back from him and returning it to its spot on the shelf.

“No, no, you’re good, Mel. It sounds really cool.”

“It is,” she says smugly before turning and continuing down the aisle. Frank grabs his cup again and follows her, glancing at a few books that catch his eye. He doesn’t even need any new books or usually wander through bookstores on his own. He’s usually more of a documentary guy. He just wanted to hang out with Mel, and he’d happily go anywhere if it made her happy.

“So, um,” Mel starts as she stops and examines a hardcover with hearts all over it and a man and woman smiling at each other. “What was that thing you wanted to–oh, wait, Becca keeps raving about this one.” She shifts her attention to another one, pulling it out.

Frank glances around them to realize they’re in the romance section. Not where he usually gravitates toward, but again–anywhere Mel King goes, he follows. “Oh yeah, I think I remember you mentioning that a few days ago. Are you gonna get it?”

“Mmm, maybe. It sounds pretty cute.” Mel scrunches up her brows as she reads the back of the book. “I would just ask to borrow her copy, but I think she got it from the library…”

He hums in response, grabbing a random book and flipping it over to read the summary. “You know she’s not gonna stop talking about it until you read it.”

Mel snorts, flashing her eyes over to Frank. It’s so endearing he feels a rush of affection in his chest, and he suddenly wants to tug her to his side and press a kiss to the top of her head.

He doesn’t, though. Because they’re friends. And she doesn’t see him that way. Plus, there’s the fact that she’s not married to him. He can’t have her in the way he wants.

It’s just a rough patch. He and Abby have been through worse. Would get through this as well.

Frank presses his lips together to stop himself from smiling, flipping the book over to look at the cover. What he sees sends a jolt down his spine–a tall brunette man smirking down at a blushing blonde woman in glasses, his hands in his pockets and the woman clutching a clipboard to her chest.

Jesus Christ.

He clears his throat. “Maybe you can check it out there, then.”

Mel hums, the book now open in her hands, flipped to the first page. “God, I haven’t been to the library in like…3 years, maybe. I don’t even think I ever got a new card since I moved here. Maybe I should just get one already.”

Frank knows in that moment that Mel in fact, will do no such thing. Even on her days off, she keeps herself busy with little time for things she actually enjoys. And Becca will keep yammering her ear off about this dumb book, and Mel will feel guilty for never having the time or energy to find it at the library, and she won’t just buy the book for herself, because…what does it matter, anyway, it’s stupid and Frank feels stupid about it because he’ll crawl on his hands and knees to get Mel whatever she wants and…

“We both know you’re never gonna make it over there, Mel. I’ll get it for you.” Frank plucks the book out of her hands, a fond smile on his face. Mel just gapes at him.

“W-what? I can–you don’t have to do that, I…” Mel splutters and Frank just laughs as she half-heartedly tries to swipe it from him.

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”

“Frank.” Mel gives him what he’s sure she thinks is a stern look, but on her, it’s just coming off as exasperated.

“Yes, Mel?” Frank looks at her innocently. She goes to grab the book again, and he can’t ignore the thrill he gets when her arm presses against his. She’s a lot closer to him than she was thirty seconds ago.

“You already paid for my boba.”

“Well, then…consider it a birthday gift, how about that?”

Mel rolls her eyes at him fondly. “It’s not for another month.”

“Melissa King, will you just let me buy you nice things?” Frank laughs and grabs her shoulders, pretending to shake her. She laughs right back, his movements jostling her further into him. Before Frank knows it, Mel stumbles just half a step forward, grabbing his arm for balance, and suddenly she’s face to face with him.

And Jesus Christ, all he can see is the mole under her right eye. Her pupils widening. The pink tint growing on her cheekbones. Her mouth opening in surprise, her lips pink and full and inviting and–

“You’re ridiculous,” Mel whispers. But the soft smile from earlier is back, and she hasn’t let go of Frank’s arm yet. He thinks maybe he could stay there forever, her amber eyes on him and her fingers wrapped around his forearm.

Yeah, I know, Frank wants to say, but finds himself frozen. He watches Mel’s gaze drop down to his mouth. He thinks he might be on fire. After what feels like a long moment, she looks back up at him and her eyes widen. She almost looks…guilty.

Not as guilty as Frank should be feeling right now, because–god, he shouldn’t be so fixated on how close Mel’s face is to him or how she just looked at his mouth two seconds ago.

But he is. He really, really is. He looks right back at Mel, his heart thrumming in his chest and her touch burning right through two layers of fabric. He does his best to telepathically communicate to her how much he wants this.

Please kiss me. Just once, because I can’t, and I need to know what it feels like to have your lips on mine.

It’s overwhelming, the way his nerves are vibrating and his head bends down toward her slightly without him even realizing. For half a second, Frank wildly thinks she’s leaning in too, until a buzzing in his jeans distracts him. It seems to break whatever spell’s been keeping them frozen, because Mel coughs a little, quickly stepping back and looking away.

It takes him a second longer to realize someone is calling him, and that he should probably answer. It’s probably Abby again. He should answer.

Frank sighs and pulls his phone out, flicking his eyes up to Mel to shoot her an apology glance. She’s not looking at him anymore. He frowns at the screen, a little relieved to see it’s not Abby calling, but an unknown number. He looks at Mel again. “Uh, sorry, one second.”

He turns his body to face away from Mel, but not so much that he can’t still see her in his periphery. She’s back to pulling out books and looking at them, but he can tell she’s only half paying attention. “Hello?”

He hears a feminine voice clear its throat, chatter and beeping sounds in the background. “Hi, am I speaking to Frank Langdon?”

“Yes,” Frank says slowly, trying to work out if he’s just answered a spam call or not.

“Hi, this is Lavinia, head charge nurse over at UPMC Presbyterian. I’m calling to let you know we have an Abigail Langdon admitted here, and you were the emergency contact listed for her. She–”

“Sorry, what?” There must be something in Frank’s voice, because out of the corner of his eye, he sees Mel turn just slightly to look in his direction.

“I’m very sorry, but she was in a severe car accident, Mr. Langdon. She came in with several injuries and is in critical condition at the moment. Are you able to–?”

“Yes, I’ll be right there.” Frank abruptly hangs up and stares at his phone for a second. He feels Mel at his side, laying a hand on his arm.

“What is it?”

“Um,” Frank manages to get out. “A-Abby’s in the hospital.”

“Oh. Okay–is she–?”

“I don’t…I don’t know. Sorry, I need to–” Frank finds himself robotically placing the book back on the shelf and turning to walk towards the exit, Mel following.

“Yeah, of course, uh, do you want me to come with you?” Mel looks genuinely concerned now, and it would’ve normally made Frank want to melt if he wasn’t actively trying not to panic.

Frank tries to tell his brain to slow down for just a second, to think past the alarms going off in his head. “Shit. Sorry. Uh, you don’t have to, Mel. Sorry, I feel bad just leaving you–”

She shakes her head firmly, stepping in front of him and grabbing his wrist. “Hey. This seems like it could be serious. Let me come with you.”

He heaves out a sigh. “Okay.”

Mel nods, gesturing for him to follow her back to his car parked a block away. “Which hospital?”

“Presby.”

“I know some really good doctors there. She’ll be in good hands, Frank, don’t worry.”

He nods blindly, and somehow keeps putting one foot in front of the other.

It’s quiet on the drive over. Frank doesn’t remember much of it, just knows he’s focusing on breathing normally and keeping his eyes on the road. He also doesn’t miss the way Mel keeps glancing over at him. He doesn’t glance back.

Before Frank knows it, he’s walking through the emergency room doors at Presby, Mel right behind him. He thinks he talks to someone at check in, but he’s not really sure–he must have, because a few minutes later, the two of them are ushered through the doors into the ER. Mel nudges his arm and nods towards the central station where a few nurses and doctors linger.

“Hi, how can I help you?” Frank realizes the tall dark-skinned woman with kind eyes is talking to him.

He clears his throat and steels himself for whatever is heading his way. “I’m, uh, here for Abigail Langdon.”

He doesn’t miss the brief glance she exchanges with a nurse a few feet away from her. “Are you Frank?”

“Um. Yes.” Frank feels something quiver in the pit of his stomach. He still feels Mel’s presence behind him, not lingering too close, but enough to reassure him she’s still there. “Is she okay?”

She just offers him a tight smile, something in her eyes shifting. “Let me page her doctor for you, just a moment.”

Frank looks around the room, his fingers tapping against his jeans restlessly. He almost jumps when Mel steps in front of him, close enough to touch him, but all she does is look up at him steadily. She looks calm. Frank wishes he could be fucking calm right now.

“Hey,” she says quietly. She takes a deep breath in, gesturing for him to do the same, then lets it out when he mirrors her. “I’m sure she’s going to be fine.”

“Yeah.” Frank just nods, unsure of what else to do. His eyes rove around the room again, searching for someone walking towards them, bracing himself for the worst.

Abby has always been a fighter, ever since she was a kid. She’s been tough and unyielding when it comes to illness, injuries, and toddler-fueled exhaustion. Whatever it is, she’ll pull through. Frank doesn’t want to think otherwise.

“Mr. Langdon?” A rich voice emerges from Frank’s left in the form of a lean, wiry blonde man about his height. He’s not smiling, but he’s not frowning, either.

“That’s me. Are you–?”

“Yes, I’m Dr. Kent, Mrs. Langdon’s doctor. Shall–?”

“Is she okay? Can I see her?”

“Why don’t we talk over here where it’s quiet?” Dr. Kent ushers him over to a room towards the back, Mel trailing after them. Frank can hear his pulse in his ears. He’s a doctor. He does this every day, knows what it means. For half a second, he has to fight the urge to grab Mel’s hand to anchor himself.

Dr. Kent grasps the door handle and turns to usher Frank in, noticing Mel behind him. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you. Are you family?”

Mel opens her mouth, but Frank beats her to it. “Yes, she is.”

He doesn’t have to look at her to know her eyes are wide and her eyebrows are drawn together the way they do when she’s overcome with emotion. He also doesn’t think about how quick he’d been to confirm Mel’s relationship to him–well, as far as Dr. Kent knows. Frank just wants her in the room with him, for whatever’s about to happen.

Dr. Kent just nods, waiting for Frank and Mel to step through before gently closing the door behind him. Frank’s mouth feels dry all of a sudden. He forces himself to move his body, sitting down on a navy blue couch across from Dr. Kent, who sinks into an armchair. Frank feels Mel sit down beside him, grateful beyond belief that she’s even here at all. He doesn’t even realize his knee is jiggling up and down until she moves her hand to squeeze it gently, keeping it there until it slows.

“So Mrs. Langdon–”

“Abby,” Frank corrects him. Dr. Kent nods once, his expression unreadable.

“Abby came in with several injuries from a multi-vehicle collision. She was alert and conscious at first. She asked us to call you. It wasn’t until shortly after that her injuries became more severe, which led to us discovering more internal bleeding than could be repaired.” Dr. Kent pauses to take a breath, but Frank speaks up before he can continue.

“But…she’s okay, right? She…” His head starts to spin, and he feels Mel’s fingers grip his knee tighter.

Dr. Kent gives him a look that Frank knows well. He sees it on Robby’s face every day, on any doctor’s face at PTMC who has to deliver bad news. Hell, he knows he’s given someone that exact look more times than he can count. Somehow, this doesn’t make Dr. Kent’s next words any easier.

“I’m so sorry, Frank. Abby’s injuries were too severe. She coded twice, and unfortunately, we were not able to bring her back.”

Frank can’t do anything but stare at Dr. Kent, can’t hear anything except for the ringing in his ears, can’t feel anything but ice running through his veins and the pressure of Mel’s hand on his knee.

He’s never imagined he’d be on the other side, hasn’t really grasped what Dr. Kent just said. But somehow, Frank manages to pull himself together to form a whole sentence.

“Can I see her?”

Frank’s faced death before. Obviously in his profession, but also in his personal life. His grandpa passed when he was seven. Lost a good friend to leukemia at the age of twelve. One of his college roommates ended up overdosing. He’s seen dead bodies in almost every room in PTMC.

But it’s a different story walking into this room, alone, and laying eyes on the woman he thought he’d grow old with. The woman he’d loved since he was 22 years old. The mother of his children.

Oh god. His kids.

Franks lets the horror of that thought slip to the back of his mind as he slowly approaches Abby’s bed. She’s covered in a white sheet. For a second, he can pretend it’s literally anyone else, until he spots some of her auburn hair poking out. Frank hears his breathing hitch loudly in the quiet of the room.

Fuck. This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening.

Frank’s hands move of their own accord, slowly reaching out to pull the sheet back a little, until Abby’s face is revealed. He lets out a ragged breath. All he can feel is ice.

He can see some bruises dotting her face, a little dried blood on the corner of her hairline. But besides that, Abby looks like she could be sleeping. Peaceful, calm.

Frank hasn’t seen her look that peaceful in a long time.

He has to blink rapidly to combat the sudden moisture gathering in his eyes. Frank feels like he should say something. Pretend like he’s still talking to his wife. He can pretend they’re enjoying a nice conversation about their day, instead of fixating on the fact that their last one amounted to bitter tones and exasperated scoffs.

Frank wants to say that he loves her. He wants to say he’s sorry. That he’s so fucking scared now, how he has no idea how to move forward.

He wishes he could’ve said goodbye.

Frank says nothing, unable to do anything but gaze down at his dead wife’s face and reach for her hand underneath the sheet. It’s just cold marble to him now.

Mel’s talking to Dr. Kent as Frank exits Abby’s room. Rather–room 15. It’s just another room, will be empty pretty soon. There’s no one in there anymore.

“Frank,” Mel says softly as he approaches them. Frank is suddenly bone tired, wishing he’s anywhere else but here.

He thinks he grunts in response, but he’s not sure. He catches a glimpse of Mel’s concerned gaze on him before his eyes are on the floor, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Um, Dr. Kent had some questions I wasn’t really sure how to answer, so…I thought…”

Frank nods, finally looking up at Mel. Her soft brown eyes are glassy, and it strangely anchors him once again. What the fuck is he going to tell Tanner and Penny? Should he let them see her? He needs to call her parents. They’re on vacation in Cape Cod. God, he has to tell his in-laws his wife is fucking dead. Their only daughter. Frank feels bile rise up in his throat.

“Yeah.” His voice comes out a bit strangled. He hears Dr. Kent shift beside Mel and glances over at him.

“Again, I’m very sorry for your loss, Frank. Do you think you’re up for answering a few questions about Abby?”

“Sure.”

The next few minutes are a blur. Frank faintly registers answering questions about what he wants to do with Abby’s body, if she was an organ donor, how long he wants the morgue to hold her for.

Her parents should be the ones to decide these things.

Frank always knew he wanted to be cremated when he died. Where exactly, he wasn’t 100% sure, but he liked the idea of being spread out all over one of his favorite places, the campground at Buck Pond in Luzerne County.

Abby had wanted to be buried. Her parents had purchased a plot for all three of them, a few years ago. Frank remembers Abby mentioning it off-hand when she’d come back from lunch with them one day. He remembers thinking it was kind of morbid, but she seemed reassured about it. So he’d smiled at her and told her he was glad they’d all be together when it was time.

Frank just never thought that time would come so quickly.

He doesn’t realize Dr. Kent has walked away until his eyes focus again to see only Mel standing in front of him. She’s gnawing on her lip, the way she does when she’s upset or concerned but isn’t quite sure how to express it.

“Hey.” Her voice is soft, calm. She steps closer and peers up into his eyes. “How you doing?”

Frank wants to laugh. He wants to tug on his hair until strands come out, and turn and run through the emergency room doors until he can’t anymore. He wants to get in his car and drive until the tank runs out. He really wants a fucking pill.

He does not do any of these things, because Mel is here and in front of him and looking into his eyes and asking how he’s holding up.

“I, uh…” He can’t help it, he barks out a dark chuckle. “The kids. She was supposed to pick them up. I should…I should probably–”

“Where are they right now?”

“With my parents.”

Mel nods. “Can you ask them if Tanner and Penny can stay overnight?”

“Um.” Frank struggles to think past the buzzing in his brain. “I guess, yeah.”

He pats his pockets in search of his phone. Shit. “I think I left it in the–”

Mel fishes her own phone out of her pocket. “I got it.”

All Frank can do is stare at Mel as she taps away on her keyboard, her brow furrowed. She finishes and looks up at him again. “Your mom says they’ll keep them for the night and you can pick them up for school tomorrow. Is…is that…?”

“Okay. Yeah.” Frank’s hands are shaking now. He shoves them back into his pockets to try and steady them, not wanting Mel to see.

She must see anyway, or sense he needs her, because the next thing Frank knows, Mel has him wrapped up tight in her arms, her face buried in the crook of his neck. His heart stutters, and his brain buffers for a long second before sliding his hands out of his pockets to wrap hesitantly around her waist.

They stay like that for a long moment, surrounded by the sounds of beeping machines and doctors barking orders and nurses rushing to different rooms.

“I’m here,” Frank thinks Mel whispers into his sweater. It’s kind of hard to tell with all the noise around them and the buzzing in his brain. It brings him a tiny sense of comfort, anyway.

He lets out a long, shaky breath. All he can think about are Tanner and Penny, wondering why their mom hasn’t picked them up yet. Why their dad would be picking them up from their grandparents’ house in the morning for school, instead of sleeping at their own. He wonders what Mel told his mom.

“I–” Frank takes a deep breath. It’s really nice, actually, being hugged so tight. He can’t remember the last time he’s hugged someone like this. His arms are tighter around Mel’s waist now, his chin resting atop her head. He can’t help but smell her shampoo–something light and fruity. It’s calming.

She’s not doing anything else or saying anything, either, like she’s expecting him to react a certain way. She’s just…holding him. Mel doesn’t usually offer touch like this, but in this moment, Frank is so, so glad she has. But he can’t stay in this cocoon forever.

“Mel,” he breathes, fighting against the panic rising in his throat. She softly rubs his back.

“Yeah.”

“What do I tell the kids?” Frank can barely get the words out, so quiet he worries Mel will pull back and ask him to repeat himself. But she just keeps rubbing his back. “What do I–fuck. Fuck.”

He takes another ragged breath, feeling Mel’s hand on the back of his neck now. It almost wrecks him–Abby used to do that ages ago, whenever he was overwhelmed or frustrated or upset.

Frank suddenly realizes she hadn’t done that in a long time.

When did she stop?

“I’ve got you,” Mel says firmly. “I’ve got you, Frank.”

Frank must pull himself together and wipe at his eyes at some point, because the next thing he knows, they’re outside in the freezing dark, snow lining the sidewalks outside the hospital.

“Hey,” Mel begins. She’s standing in front of him, her brows furrowed but her eyes clear. “Do you–why don’t you stay at mine tonight?”

Frank just blinks at her, her invitation slowly loading in his brain. “Um. Are you sure?”

“Of course. And I just…I don’t think you should be alone tonight, Frank.”

“Right,” he mumbles. He hasn’t even thought that far ahead, and realizes the prospect of sleeping alone in the house he and his wife once shared makes him want to take a pill.

He won’t. Even if the thought is tempting. He’s come too far to give in. He’s pretty sure Mel won’t let him go there, either.

Frank sighs. “Okay. I should, um. The kids will need, um, clothes for tomorrow. I need to–”

Mel catches on, nodding. She pulls her braid over her shoulder, fiddling with the ends. “Yeah, of course. We can–I can come with you, and…and grab stuff, if you want.”

He nods back. “Thanks.”

Then–

“Shit. I should probably call Abby’s parents, too. I need my phone. I gotta…I gotta start figuring out funeral arrangements, and–”

“You can call them at my apartment. And the funeral stuff can wait until tomorrow. One thing at a time, Frank.” Mel crosses her arms, shivering a bit. “Let’s go to the car and we’ll stop at your house first.”

Frank lets Mel guide him back, but when he pulls out his keys, his hands are still shaking so bad he keeps dropping them. After the second time, Mel crouches down and swipes them from his outstretched hand. She straightens up and meets his eyes. Frank feels cracked open right in front of her.

“Let me drive,” Mel insists, gently but firmly, so there’s no room for Frank to try and argue that he’s fine. She knows he’s not.

Frank can feel Mel’s eyes on him every now and then as she carefully makes her way through icy roads. It’s quiet aside from the low chattering coming from the radio. Halfway to his house, Frank feels his stomach churning.

“Can you pull over?” He manages to get out, his voice low and tight. He feels her worried eyes on him, but stares straight ahead, breathing in and out. Mel complies, quickly pulling off to park on a curb somewhere.

Frank promptly gets out, takes three steps, and heaves before an entire day’s worth of content expels itself from his stomach. When he’s done, he curses under his breath and spits out the last remaining flecks of bile and saliva. He straightens and wipes his mouth before returning to the car.

“Are you–?”

“Yeah, just keep going, Mel.”

She parks in Frank’s driveway and turns off the car. They sit in silence for a moment, Mel staring at the steering wheel and Frank braving a glance over at the house. His hands aren’t shaking anymore, which he takes as a good sign.

For what it’s worth.

He glances over at Mel to see her white knuckling the wheel, taking a deep breath and letting it out in one long whoosh. “You okay, Mel?”

She huffs out a laugh and shoots him an incredulous look. “I should be asking you that.”

Frank wants to chuckle at that, almost does–but it’s like his throat muscles don’t get the memo. He clears his throat instead. “I’ve, uh, been better. You know.”

Mel nods, her gaze soft now. Her hands are still on the wheel, this time in a looser grasp. “Yeah. Well. You know I’d do anything for you, Frank.” Her breath hitches before she continues. “Including getting clothes for Tanner and Penny, so I can–I can go in and get them if you just–”

He glances down at his hands, anxiously smoothing them over his jeans. “No, it’s okay, Mel, thank you. It’s probably easier if I–”

“Right. Yeah, of course. Um, do you want me to come with–?”

Frank’s about to open the door before he turns back to Mel. He’s not quite sure what to do with the warm feeling her presence is giving him now, which is how he ends up gaping at her for what feels like an eternity, but more likely probably only a second or two. “Sure, if you want.”

She nods, a small smile on her face now, before getting out and meeting Frank at the front door.

He tries to keep his focus on getting to the room Tanner and Penny share, on opening drawers and grabbing the first clothing items he sees that would be acceptable to wear to school. To his dismay, he keeps getting flashes of his night since he got the phone call.

It’s jarring, to say the least. Thank god Mel is here, with him. She’s quiet as she lingers a few paces behind him, ready to give him extra hands with anything as he moves around the house. Her presence alone is enough to ground him.

Frank has no idea what he’d do if she’d gone home after he got the call, or they hadn’t hung out after work after all.

Mel touches his arm as they head down the hallway towards the stairs landing. “Do you want to grab anything for yourself too?”

“I probably should, yeah. I can…” Frank trails off as they approach the room at the end of the hallway, close to the landing. His and Abby’s room.

He needs to just grab some clothes and his toothbrush, but Frank thinks he might actually be sick again if he steps foot in that room. Mel picks up on his hesitation, because of course she does–she’s always tuned in to him.

“What do you need? I can grab them,” Mel offers instantly.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to,” Frank starts to say, a sigh rising up his throat.

“I want to.”

He wants to smile at the determined look in Mel’s eyes, but he settles for nodding at her instead. Her hand is still on his arm. “Okay. The, um, the purple toothbrush in the bathroom and just some sweats and a T-shirt. My dresser is near the closet.”

Mel squeezes his arm and smiles up at him. “I’ll be right back.” And with that, she turns the doorknob and slips inside, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

Frank hears her moving around in the room, rooted to the floor. He could just head down the stairs and wait for Mel by the front door. Maybe grab a few snacks for the kids tomorrow. He should. But for some reason, knowing Mel is rummaging around the room he shares–shared–with his wife for his things that he’ll take with him to sleep at her apartment leaves him frozen.

A minute later, Frank glances up to see Mel reappearing with his clothes and toothbrush tucked under her arm. She shuts the door again and meets his eyes with a calm, reassured look.

“Do you need anything else?”

“I think that’s it.”

Frank zones out on the ride to Mel’s apartment. She’s driving them, her presence quiet but comforting. He’s so ready to just walk inside and crash on her couch, but the phone call to Abby’s parents looms over him.

He lingers behind her as she turns the key in her door and follows her up the doorstep, kicking his shoes off. Frank has been in Mel’s apartment a hundred times, but for some reason it’s taking his brain an extra second to sync up and register his surroundings. He does realize it’s a little chilly, before he sees Mel stepping over to the hallway by the kitchen to turn on the heater. She turns to glance at him, giving him a once over.

“I have an extra blanket on the couch if you’re cold. Are you hungry? You should eat something. I can heat up some leftovers, or–oh, and I can make some tea, if you want? Might be good for your stomach if you’re nauseous.” Mel spins around and marches into the kitchen. Frank might find her rambling endearing if he was in literally any other situation. Meanwhile, he’s still standing by her front door, clutching his overnight things like an idiot.

It’s been a long fucking day.

“Why don’t you go sit on the couch, Frank, and I’ll bring you something,” Mel calls out from the kitchen, and it jumpstarts him into moving his feet until he sinks down into her comfy gray couch. He sets his things down on the coffee table in front of him and forces himself to pull out his phone. Just staring at it in his hand.

He almost jumps when Mel appears in his line of vision and holds out a glass of water. Frank glances up, his gaze softening, and takes it.

“Thank you, Mel. Really. I–”

“It’s no problem, Frank.” She opens her mouth like she’s going to say something else, then shuts it. Shakes her head, like she’s trying to shake something off. “I just–I just want to help you. I know nothing I say will make anything better, but…I’ve been in your shoes. It’s really hard. You need people in your corner.”

There’s a burning behind Frank’s eyes now. He doesn’t fucking deserve Mel King. But he’s so, so glad to have her in his life.

“Mel–”

She must see he’s about to cry, because her eyes are turning glassy now, and she shakes her head again. “Um, so I only had leftover lasagna, it should be done in a few minutes. I hope that’s okay.”

Frank blinks rapidly, willing himself to not fucking do this in front of Mel. She’s already been witness to everything since it started, but…he’d really rather be alone before he lets himself fall apart. Get it out of his system, so he can put on a brave face for Tanner and Penny.

“Yes. Yes, that’s perfect. Thank you, Mel.” Frank notices her eyes sweeping over him on the couch.

“I’ll sleep there, you can take my bed.” Mel fixes him with a look as he opens his mouth, like she knows he’s about to try and protest. “It’s better for your back, anyway. Don’t fight me on this, Frankie.”

And oh wow, his stomach is doing fucking somersaults. Or maybe he’s just nauseous again. Whatever it is, Frank has to take a second before answering her.

“Thank you,” is all he can think to say. It earns him a satisfied smile from Mel.

Then–

“I have to call Abby’s parents.”

“Oh.”

“They’re in Cape Cod on vacation. They’re–they’re probably getting ready for bed right now, and I have no fucking clue what to tell them, Mel.”

Mel sinks down onto the couch beside him, tucking her leg underneath her. Her brows are furrowed, but she’s not giving him that sympathetic look he kept getting at work once people found out he’d actually been in rehab for the last ten months. “Do you want to eat first? See if you feel any better before calling them?”

Frank lets out a shaky breath. “I don’t think it’s gonna make a difference, honestly.”

She studies him for a moment. “Well. Drink some water at least. Let me grab the lasagna and you can see if you’re up for eating any of it or not.”

He blindly obeys her, gulping down almost half the glass. He looks at the phone in his hand again. It’s almost 10:30pm.

It goes about as horribly as Frank expects. His mother-in-law sobs until Abby’s dad takes the phone from her and asks him questions in a choked, low voice.

He tells Frank that they’ll get on the next plane to Pittsburgh and let him know when they land. They want to go straight to the hospital to see Abby. Frank offers to pick them up. He thinks he’s holding it together remarkably well until–

“And the kids?”

Frank almost chokes. He glances up, eyes searching for Mel until he finds her standing at the kitchen counter, her back to him. He realizes she’s been there the whole time, just…standing there quietly. She must have wandered off when he put the phone to his ear, probably wanting to give him distance.

It settles him, just a little.

“They, uh, they’re with my parents tonight. I’ll tell them after school tomorrow.”

He hears Abby’s dad sigh heavily over the phone. “Right. Okay. Good luck. And how…how are you doing, Frank?”

Frank runs a hand over his face, glancing over at Mel again. “Hanging in there. You know.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Abby’s dad clears his throat. “Well, we’re going to pack up and head to the airport as soon as we can. We’ll keep you posted.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, Frank. See you soon.”

And with that, they hang up and Frank tosses his phone onto the couch next to him, burying his face in his hands.

“Fuck.” He hears himself muttering. “Fuck.”

Suddenly he’s bursting into tears, and Mel is already kneeling at his feet, grabbing him in a fierce hug. He instantly bends down to pull her closer, his hands clawing at the back of her shirt. Mel’s hand wraps around the back of his neck, and Frank shatters into a million pieces.

Frank thinks he says something to Mel, but he’s crying so hard he can’t really tell. A jolt goes through him when he pulls back for a second and sees that she’s crying, too.

“Mel,” he chokes out.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Mel’s breath hitches as she sniffs. She rubs small circles on his back. “I’m here.”

He shudders and sobs into her shoulder as she just holds him tight, murmuring reassuring words into his ear. Frank feels flayed alive, raw and aching down to his last nerve.

“God, the kids,” he gets out, his voice thick. “What–what do I–?”

“I know, I know.” Her hand stroking the back of his neck feels so nice. It offers little comfort, but Frank clings on to it anyway. “Shhh.”

Eventually, Frank runs out of tears, or tires himself out–he’s not sure which comes first. They stay like that for another long moment, wrapped up in each other, until Mel pulls back to look in his eyes.

“Okay?” She whispers. She cups his cheeks and wipes away the tears already drying on his face. It almost makes fresh ones well up in his eyes, if his ducts weren’t all spent up.

Frank nods. Mel takes a deep breath in, gesturing for him to do the same. They take a few deep breaths together, until Frank calms down a bit more.

“Thank you,” he whispers back. Mel just squeezes his hand, looking at him with watery eyes.

“I’ve got you, Frank. Always.” She hugs him one last time, and all Frank wants to do is melt into her, wrap himself around her body and stay there forever.

Mel wipes at her eyes and sniffs. “Um, I’ll let you get ready for bed. Try and eat some of the lasagna, okay?”

Frank only manages about three bites before he pushes the container away on the coffee table. Mel’s disappeared into her bathroom, presumably getting ready to go to sleep. He’s putting the container back in her fridge and filling up his glass of water when he turns to see her leaning against the wall separating the kitchen from the living room.

“Um, so, I changed the sheets, just in. Just in case. The mattress is pretty sturdy, so it should be fine for your back. And–”

“Thank you, Mel. Really.” Frank peers down into her eyes and squeezes her shoulder. “I should be–I really appreciate it. I’m just gonna go brush my teeth and change. You sure you’re good on the couch?”

She nods, twisting her hands together. He’s heading towards the bathroom when he hears–

“Do you–do you want me to come with you in the morning? To take Tanner and Penny to school? I’m off tomorrow.”

Frank stills. Ignores the tightness in his chest and the uptick in his heart rate. She’s already doing so much just being there for him, making sure he’s okay. “That’s really–thanks, Mel. But that’s okay. You should sleep in.”

He thinks she says “Okay”, but Frank pushes forward into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He just needs a minute to himself. Just one fucking minute, to collect himself and his completely inappropriate feelings for his platonic worker. To breathe, to mentally prepare for another rough day tomorrow, to figure out how to tell the two people he loved most in the world that their mother was gone and she wasn’t ever coming back.

Frank will tell them after school, he decides. They should have one more day of normalcy and happiness before their worlds come crashing down.

It feels like Frank’s been lying awake in Mel’s bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, mind racing. He’s plenty comfortable–her bed is actually that perfect combination between soft and firm, and she’s put on a heavy blanket to keep him warm.

But it’s too big. Too much space around him. Frank is fucking exhausted, and yet–sleep isn’t coming to him. He’s already on his feet and quietly slipping out Mel’s door before he can think about it. His feet take him right to the couch Mel is draped over, curled up under a blanket, her glasses on the coffee table.

Shit. She’s probably asleep. Frank hesitates, torn between waking Mel up and letting her sleep. He’s about to crouch down and touch her shoulder when her head snaps up. Frank almost jumps.

“Frank?” Mel blinks up at him, squinting. She quickly sits up a bit. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I just–”

“Oh, it’s okay, I was pretty much just dozing.” She yawns. “Do you–”

“I can’t sleep,” he admits. “Just, my brain won’t shut off. And I, um. I’m not…used to sleeping alone. Are you…can you not sleep because you’re out here? Or…?”

Mel sits up all the way, running a hand through her hair and grabbing her glasses before she looks back up at Frank. “A little bit of both, to be honest. Today has been…a lot.”

Frank can’t help but laugh. He doesn’t want to ask Mel if she wants her own bed back, or to share it with him, but. He thinks he’ll die if she doesn’t follow him back to her room.

She calms him down, she makes things better, she knows what he needs before he does. Sue him for wanting some comfort.

“The couch is a little narrow,” Mel confesses, looking down the length of it. Frank holds his breath. “We could…both sleep in my room? I can take the floor.”

“Mel, come on. I’m not gonna make you do that. It looks big enough for…or, unless, that makes you uncomfortable? I can take the floor, if–”

Mel rolls her eyes at Frank and throws the blanket off her. “Don’t be ridiculous. Come on, we can share.”

It’s almost embarrassing how quickly relief courses through his veins. Frank’s not an idiot, nor a pervert. All he wants is for his brain to shut off so he can finally sleep, and if sleeping next to Mel will get him there, so be it.

They’re laying next to each other, Frank on the left side (the right side is Mel’s), quiet but clearly wanting to say something. Mel’s the first to break the silence.

“Do you want space, or…or do you want–?”

“Yes,” Frank answers by shifting close enough that his ankle brushes against Mel’s. He wants her to touch him so bad, and he’s not about to ask or initiate it himself. He feels too vulnerable to.

Which is how Frank finds himself falling asleep tucked against Mel King, her arm draped over his hip, her other hand brushing against his bicep.

Tanner and Penny don’t seem to think anything is amiss when Frank buckles them into their carseats the next morning. He only hears their adorable chatter about breakfast that morning, how much fun they had with Grandma and Grandpa last night, and random thoughts that pop into their heads on the way to school.

God, he loves them so much. It’s like his heart teeters on the edge of bursting every time he looks at Tanner’s inquisitive face and Penny’s sweet smile. No matter what mood he’s in (even now), they always manage to bring a smile to his face.

And Frank would never say this out loud to anyone, but it kills him how much Penny resembles her mom.

He counts himself lucky that only Tanner asks where Abby is. She usually dealt with morning dropoffs. Frank knows it was bound to come, and yet he still stumbles a bit through making something up to Tanner, avoiding his eye. He seems to accept it, nodding and playing with his shirt sleeve. Penny listens silently, then goes back to pointing out the window at something she sees on the street.

Frank watches Tanner and Penny head inside the school hallway among the other kids. He heaves out a long sigh and lets his head drop down against the wheel. Wishes he could just stay there forever, but–

There’s a honk behind him, and Frank quickly straightens up and continues down the drop off lane until he’s out of the school parking lot.

He heads straight back to his parents’ house and lets himself in with his key.

“Mom, Dad?” Frank wanders in, kicking his shoes off and bracing himself for another tough conversation.

“Frank?” His dad calls out from his study, near the kitchen.

“Hey, I’m back.” He manages to offer up a weak smile as his dad appears, a pen behind his ear. “Where’s Mom?”

Frank’s dad eyes him, his expression unreadable. But that’s normal–you could never tell what he’s thinking. “She, uh, went outside to check on the garden, I think. Weren’t you just here to get Tan and Pen? Did you forget–?”

“Yeah, I needed to talk to you guys. Can you grab her?” Frank takes a deep breath to steady himself as his dad shrugs and turns to find his wife. He tries to think calming thoughts, tries to remember what he learned in rehab, to take it one step at a time. That’s the only fucking way he’s going to get through this. He thinks about the fact that he needs to pick up Abby’s parents from the airport in 30 minutes.

Then Frank thinks of Mel, and her steady gaze on him, and the way she can calm him down with just a few words and a light touch.

He thinks he can handle telling his parents, now.

Frank’s phone buzzes as he buckles himself into the passenger seat. He glances over to see a text from Mel. Fights the urge to smile as he backs out of his parents’ driveway. He’s running late to get Abby’s parents, so he doesn’t pick it up and open the message until he’s stopped at a red light.

How’s everything so far?

It’s just four words, really. It shouldn’t be enough to light Frank up on the inside. The light turns green before he can type out a response, but he thinks about it the whole way to the airport.

Abby’s parents look how he feels when he spots them outside Gate 4. He covers up the twinge of sorrow in his chest when he pulls to a stop and gets out, waving to get their attention. They hug him fiercely for so long that the traffic guard starts to hassle them to move it along. Abby’s mom sniffs and pushes her hair back as she slides into the backseat with her husband. Frank’s eyes flicker back to them a few times as he starts driving again. He can tell they haven’t slept a wink.

Parents should never have to bury their child.

Frank gives them some privacy at Presby when Dr. Kent takes them to see Abby in one of their viewing rooms. He blows out a long breath, leaning against the wall outside the room, letting his head fall back against it. He closes his eyes and just breathes.

He’s already let the HR rep at PTMC know, submitting his bereavement request and texting Robby and Baran. They were both quick to offer their condolences and support, and asked if Frank or his family needed anything. Frank’s getting 2 weeks off, and he can’t decide if he’s more grateful or dreading it.

He decides to text Mel back after he talks to Tanner and Penny. Frank wonders what she’s up to right now, hoping he hasn’t scared her off with this.

An hour later, Frank drives Abby’s parents back to their condo downtown. He hugs them again after they agree to look at some funeral homes in the next few days. He watches Abby’s dad gently guide his wife inside, his hand on the small of her back. And not for the first time that day, Frank feels his eyes burning, a lump in his throat. His marriage with Abby may have been stiff and complicated, but his in-laws had been nothing but good to him.

But now? Frank feels like he’s grieving the loss of something that had already slipped through his fingers. He’s grieving the versions of them that had stood across from each other at the altar, gazing at each other with tears in their eyes. He’s grieving for Abby’s parents, for the rest of their forever without their daughter.

And Frank is especially grieving the most for his kids, for the fact that they’re too little to understand, that they’ll grow up without their mom. It’s not fucking fair.

In his car, he stares out the window at the tall cherry red front door that he and Abby had entered through countless times visiting her parents. He wonders when was the last time she’d walked through that door.

It’s only 1:30, and Frank doesn’t have to pick up the kids for another hour. He mostly drives around, he thinks. He’s zoned out for most of it. Thinks about picking up his phone and calling Mel, just to hear her voice.

He doesn’t, though.

Finally, Frank finds himself crawling into the pick up lane at the school. The dread creeps up his spine the closer he reaches the front of the line. All too soon, he catches sight of his son’s messy brown hair, his sister lingering not too far behind him. He doesn’t miss the looks of confusion on their faces as he pulls up next to them.

“Hey guys,” Frank greets them, trying to sound as upbeat as he can. He quickly buckles them into their seats and slides back into the front.

“Hi Daddy,” Penny pipes up. She looks happy to see him now, whereas Tanner just looks confused still. Probably wondering where Abby is and why Frank isn’t at work. He almost never takes them to or from school.

“How was school?” Frank tries to catch Tanner’s eye, who’s looking out the window. He’s got that face on, the one he gets when he’s trying to figure something out.

Abby was always telling Frank that kid was too smart for his own good.

He prays that Tanner doesn’t put the pieces together just yet. He’s always been a bit paranoid and anxious about things.

Penny chimes in, oblivious to the growing tension in the car. “We got to play with bunnies, Daddy, it was so fun.”

“No way, that’s so cool, Pen.” Frank’s eyes flick back to Tanner in the rearview mirror. “How about you, Tan, learn anything cool today?”

Tanner glances over at his sister. “Not really.”

Then–

“I thought you’d be at work still.”

“Ah, nope, I had the day off. Wanted to hang out with you guys.”

“Is that why Mom didn’t take us today?”

Frank breathes in and holds it for a few seconds before exhaling. He keeps his eyes on the road in front of him. “That’s right, buddy.”

“And she didn’t get us last night from Grandma’s. Is she not feeling good or something?”

His fingers tighten around the steering wheel. God, he wishes Mel was here. “Yup, I’m just helping her out.”

And if Frank doesn’t look in the rearview mirror at his kids on the rest of the way back for fear of seeing their excitement at seeing their mom again, well. That’s between him and the Grim Reaper.

“Hey guys, hang on a second.” Frank stops Tanner and Penny before they chase each other up the stairs. Their backpacks are back on their hooks by the front door, their shoes hastily kicked off, and their coats still in Frank’s hand. He quickly hangs them up on the coatrack, very pointedly not looking at the blue peacoat Abby wore all the time.

“What, Dad?” Tanner blinks over at him from the bottom of the stairs. Penny just looks impatient.

“Uh, come over for a second.” Frank thinks he might pass out.

They just stare at him, unmoving.

“Just for a second. I just wanna talk to you guys for a second.”

Penny’s the first to waddle over to him, her brother following after a moment of hesitation. “Yeah, Daddy?”

Frank lowers himself onto his haunches to be eye level with them. “You know I love you guys, so much, right?”

Tanner chuckles. “Dad, you’re being so weird.”

“It’s true, and so does your mom. I meant it when I said I took you guys to school today and picked you up because I wanted to hang out with you.” Frank’s heart is thundering in his chest. He wills his voice to keep steady. “And I know your mom usually does that, but she, um, she got hurt, so she couldn’t do that this time.”

Penny cocks her head at him, and Tanner just stares like he can sense something is off but can’t quite figure out what.

“Mommy got hurt?” Penny asks, her voice small and scared.

“Yes, Mommy got hurt, and she went to the hospital. Just like where Daddy works. And all the doctors there did such a good job helping her. But Mommy was so hurt that they had to send her to heaven instead.” Frank exhales slowly. He’s watching Tanner and Penny very carefully.

Tanner’s already gotten the circle of life talk, so Franks thinks he’ll get what he’s trying to say. Penny, he’s not so sure about. She’s still so young.

“Dad, what do you mean?” Tanner is quiet, but Frank can see his eyes turning glassy. His heart splinters a little.

“Where’s heaven, Daddy? Can we go see Mommy when she’s all better?”

The splintering turns into a loud crack.

“I wish we could, sweetie. But…but–”

“Dad,” Tanner interrupts, growing more upset. “Where’s Mom?”

“Tanner.” This is infinitely worse than Frank could ever imagine. “I’m so sorry, buddy.”

“Where’s Mom?” He repeats, louder this time. Penny glances over at him, brows furrowed.

Frank sighs. “Tanner–”

But his son scowls at him, and turns on his heel to run up the stairs. Frank watches him go, his heart sinking, then looks back at his daughter. He knows she doesn’t quite understand, but he’ll deal with that more intricately when he has a second to breathe.

“Daddy, why is Tanner mad?”

Frank sighs again, and in response, wordlessly scoops his daughter into his arms, squeezing her tiny little body, hoping she can feel all of his and Abby’s love flowing into her. Hoping she’ll be okay, and understand better when she’s older.

Above all, Frank hopes that Tanner will be okay, too. He’ll do anything to make sure of it. He’s their dad, after all. He’ll make sure they both grow up knowing in their bones how much Abby loved them.

But fuck, his heart is breaking into a million pieces, and Frank has no idea how to handle it.

The next few days consist of Frank keeping a close eye on Tanner and Penny, touring funeral homes with Abby’s parents, and helping them plan the funeral. His own parents help out with the kids as much as they can, which helps. It really helps. Frank had called Mel after he told Tanner and Penny.

She’d stayed on the phone with him for twenty minutes, not saying much of anything, mostly just listening to him ramble and cry a little, and then eventually just his slow, steady breathing to calm himself down.

Mel texts him here and there too, just to check in and see if she can help with anything. Frank wants to take her up on it, he really does–but a part of him holds back. He also gets texts and a few phone calls from people like Cassie, Yoyo, John, and Dana.

Frank lets Abby’s parents pick the photo, and gives in to a few other details he’s not too set on.

The one thing he goes back and forth with them on is whether or not to keep it a closed casket. They want to display her as she was, beautiful and peaceful, one last time before she’s lowered into the ground. Frank isn’t sure if he wants Tanner and Penny to see her like this. Eventually, he caves and agrees to have an open casket.

He’ll tell them it’ll be just like if she was sleeping.

The morning of the funeral, Frank’s hands shake as he puts on his tie. His parents are helping Tanner and Penny get ready. He’s grateful for them in this moment in a way he knows he’ll never really be able to express.

Frank still can’t believe Abby is gone. They had their problems, sure, but he did love her. She was an incredible mother to Tanner and Penny. And they were happy once. He almost wishes she’d walk through the door right now. Even if it means he’d get the version of her that would roll her eyes or pick a fight with him because she was tired or annoyed. At least then, Frank would get a few more moments with her.

Although, he’d rather hang on to the few happy memories they had.

Frank steps out of the bathroom and makes his way downstairs to see if anyone else is ready. He has to pass through his bedroom–he hasn’t slept in it yet, but he feels better being inside during the day.

“Hey, guys,” he greets Tanner and Penny. “All ready?” His eyes flit over to the kitchen, where his dad fills a glass with water.

Tanner’s been pretty quiet since he told them, so Frank isn’t surprised when he merely nods, his eyes on the floor. Penny is mostly her usual self, if not a little more subdued. She seems to grasp the whole heaven concept, but she keeps asking when Abby’s coming back. Frank never knows how to answer that.

The funeral itself is lovely. The director who’s been working with them on the service has been great. A lot of people show up–all of Abby’s friends, some of her coworkers, some of Frank’s coworkers (Mel included), and even some of Abby’s parents’ friends.

Frank is lined up next to Abby’s parents when the doors open. He shakes a lot of hands, sees a lot of familiar faces, and some unfamiliar. He startles when a stocky blonde man leans in close, tears in his eyes, and tells him how amazing Abby was. He doesn’t place the man until a few minutes after–one of the parents from Tanner’s and Penny’s school. He thinks they’ve had a playdate for Penny and one of his kids, although he could be off about that. Frank can’t remember his name for the life of him. He brushes it off a second later when one of Abby’s aunts shakes his hand and offers her condolences.

Mel gives him an extra tight hug when it’s her turn, and he wishes they could just stay like that all day. She looks beautiful in her long sleeve black dress, too. Her hair’s down, and she’s got her contacts in.

Frank only chokes up once during his eulogy, which he counts as a win, because when he’d practiced it earlier, he could barely get through the whole thing.

He’ll never forget the looks on Tanner’s and Penny’s faces when it’s their turn to step up to Abby’s casket and look down upon her. His heart splinters for them all over again.

Afterward, when everyone is mingling and helping themselves to coffee and pastries, Frank feels the walls closing in. The kids are clinging to his side, and his gaze flits around the room to see his parents and Abby’s talking to others. Then his eyes find Mel’s–she’s on the other side of the room, talking to Cassie, but she starts moving towards him the second she sees the look on his face.

“Hey,” she murmurs as she approaches. “Okay?”

Frank’s chest is tight, but he manages to offer her a weak smile. “I just need–could you–?”

Mel nods instantly, already reaching for Tanner and Penny. “Of course. Take your time, Frank.”

He squeezes her shoulder in response and bends down to his kids, muttering that he’ll be right back. He finds himself outside after a few quick strides, tugging at the collar of his shirt desperately. His breathing is erratic now, and Frank is convinced he’s having a heart attack. Or maybe a panic attack. It’s definitely an attack of some sort.

Frank leans against the wall by the entrance and closes his eyes, focusing on breathing in and out, over and over, until his heart stops trying to beat out of his chest. He really, really, really wants a pill.

Mel finds him afterward before he makes his way around the car to the driver’s seat, Tanner and Penny already strapped in. Abby’s parents hang back talking to a few stragglers, and Frank’s parents have left already, but Frank could tell the kids were getting tired. So he’s taking them home.

“Frank.”

He spins around to find Mel approaching. He’d thought she left already, and was too preoccupied with the kids to dwell on being disappointed she hadn’t said goodbye.

He shouldn’t be this glad to see her standing in front of him. Not when they’ve just lowered his wife into the ground.

But he is. He can’t help it. Not when it comes to Mel.

“Hey, Mel.”

They’re silent then, just looking at each other for a moment.

“It was a…it was a really nice service,” Mel says hesitantly, like she’s afraid she’ll say the wrong thing.

Frank doesn’t think she ever could, really.

“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?”

“Great speeches, too.”

“Thanks.”

Mel opens her mouth, then shuts it. Opens it again. “I’m going to say something, and you can tell me if it’s out of line, but I just–”

She takes a breath. Frank furrows his brow at her.

“I didn’t know Abby very well. She was nice to me the one or two times I met her in passing. She obviously treated Tanner and Penny well. But…I know you guys were, um. Struggling. A bit. And it’s none of my business, I know, I know that. But also–I’m, I’m just–”

Frank swallows. “Mel…”

She puts her hands up in defense. “I just mean, I know you two were important to each other, obviously, and I’m sorry this has happened for you all. It’s not fair.”

He might laugh. Yeah, she’s not wrong about that.

“Yeah. Thanks, Mel.”

She nods, one hand moving to twist the ends of her hair. A nervous habit, Frank has realized over the last few months. He wishes he could linger in this moment, but a muffled cough from inside the car reminds him that he’s needed elsewhere. “Well, I should take them back. But thanks for coming, Mel. Really. It…it means a lot. You’re actually making all this a little more bearable.”

Mel shakes her head a little like she can’t believe what she’s hearing, then offers up a sad smile. He hates how endearing he finds it. “Of course, Frank. I’m here for you. I…I care about you so much, I hope you know that.”

Frank nods, not even realizing he’s taken a step closer to Mel. Have her eyes always been this golden brown? “Me too. I–I care about you, too, Mel.”

She glances down quickly, then back up at Frank, searching his eyes. She must find whatever she’s looking for, because suddenly she’s stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his waist. Her head lays against his chest, fitting perfectly into the slope of his shoulder.

Frank hopes she doesn’t hear his heart thundering as he hugs Mel back. He should really go before he does something stupid.

Mel steps back before he can work up the strength to release her, though. She looks at him sheepishly. “Well, I’ll let you go. But let me know if you get…if you want to get out of the house and go for a walk or something, or I can come watch Tanner and Penny if you need–well, just, if you need anything, you can call or–”

Goddamit, she’s so cute. Frank almost smiles, putting out a hand to stop her. “Yeah. I will. Thanks, Mel. Tell Becca I say hi.”

“I will.” She turns to walk away.

“Thanks for coming,” Frank repeats, like an idiot.

Mel looks at him over her shoulder, smiling. “Of course.”

“You look really nice, by the way.” Frank wants to bang his head against the car door. “Meant to say that, earlier.”

Her cheeks slowly turn pinker. “Thanks. So do you.”

All Frank can do is nod, his throat tight and his pulse thrumming. He should really get in the car before he does something stupid.

He tries not to look after Mel as he starts to drive away. He really does. But his eyes betray him as he glances in the rearview mirror, watching her continue to walk.

Yeah, he’s in trouble.

Frank taps the arm of the couch he’s sitting on, absent-mindedly gazing out the window. It’s not as chilly lately, the sun actually peeking out today. The last few days have been…rough. He takes a breath to steady himself, his head whipping around when he hears a voice approaching him.

“Here you go.” Winona shoots him a warm smile as she hands him a mug of steaming coffee. Frank smiles back, wrapping his hands around the mug to absorb the warmth. She settles into her armchair across from him, setting her own mug on the table next to her.

“Thanks.” He’s always grateful Winona insists on bringing him some sort of drink whenever they meet. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t ask for anything. But it’s nice. Makes him feel strangely touched, every time.

“So,” Winona starts. “How’s this last week been for you?”

Frank lets out a breath. “Fine, I guess. A little challenging. Tanner’s still acting up.”

She hums, quickly jotting something down in the pocketbook resting on her lap. “Anything new since you last talked about him?”

“No. But it’s frustrating, you know? Seeing your son picking fights at school and being angry all the time.”

“Yeah. That’s really tough, Frank.”

Usually, she asks him further questions to prompt deeper discussion, but today, Frank finds he doesn’t even need it. “It fucking sucks, is what it is. He’s in first grade. Other kids his age should be, I don’t fucking know, playing stupid games at recess or going to places like…like…Chuck E. Cheese, or something.”

Winona nods solemnly, giving Frank space to continue if he wants to.

“It kills me, you know? He’s just, he’s taking it really hard still.”

“And what about Penny?”

“Well, she’s finally stopped asking when Abby’s coming back from heaven, so. There’s that.” Frank takes a sip from his mug, letting the hot liquid warm his insides.

She tuts, a sympathetic look in her eyes. “That’s a relief, Frank. I know you were feeling guilty about that. About a lot of things, really. But at the same time, it’s never an easy question to answer. It’s…never easy, navigating a sudden loss, especially when you have to help two little ones navigate it at the same time.”

“Yeah,” Frank grunts. “There should be a handbook for it, or something.”

Winona chuckles. “There should be, yeah. It certainly would help, wouldn’t it?”

He sighs. “It’s just been…I don’t know, obviously you know I’ve lost people before, but. This one is harder than I thought.”

“Hmm, yes. I hear you, Frank.” Winona sips from her mug and sets it down again. “Well, I wanted to ask you, to get an overall read on your mental health and how you’re coping. It’s been a month since Abby passed. A lot’s happened for you in that time. How do you think everything else has been going for you?”

Frank’s jaw tightens. It’s been a hell of a month, for sure. He has no idea where to start. “It’s been…a lot.”

She looks at him patiently, waiting him out.

This is Frank’s least favorite part about therapy, sitting in front of someone else and being methodically ripped open for an hour straight.

But he’s here. He’s doing it. So he can be himself again. So he can be a better dad to his kids. A better son. A better friend to…a better friend to the people in his life.

“I’m just…tired all the time. Work is kicking my ass. I’m really lucky that my parents and Abby’s parents are helping so much with the kids, but. I still feel like a fucking failure. Like I’m letting them down. Even when Abby was alive, I’d let her down, all the time. Nothing I did was ever enough. I couldn’t spend more time with our kids. I couldn’t do date nights. I couldn’t make our marriage work. And you know what, sometimes, it felt like she didn’t even want to make it work.” Frank pauses to take a breath, the familiar guilt and shame creeping back in. “And that makes me feel so shitty, for being mad at her about that. It feels so shitty carrying around guilt for something that I…that I’m not even sure was ever really my fault.”

Winona waits for him to continue, and not for the first time, Frank wonders if his therapist can actually read his mind and sense that he always has more under the surface.

“Like, Abby and I had problems. Yes. But, I didn’t want to just give up. That’s not the kind of person I am. I said it before and I’ll say it again, I take my vows very seriously.

And I feel like such an asshole. Because I think a part of me, a part of my heart just wasn’t in it anymore.

Anyway. I’m trying to figure out how to let some of that go. I’ve been really lucky to have people in my corner.”

Winona smiles. “That’s good. You need that, especially during a time like this.”

“Yeah. Yeah, definitely.” Frank isn’t sure he’s quite ready to confess that a certain person in his corner has been slowly taking over his brain. A certain coworker he had been pining for, even while actively working on his marriage with Abby.

He’s a piece of shit.

He was a piece of shit then. He’s a piece of shit now, for still wanting Mel no matter how much he tries to push her away or not think about her.

For one thing, Mel won’t let him. She goes out of her way to check in, to spend time with him and the kids, to send him a text or funny video out of nowhere, just to let him know she was thinking about him. Plus, it’s pretty much the same at work, the only thing different being that Mel keeps a closer eye on him. Makes sure he gets interesting cases, always has an extra Redbull stashed for him in her locker, always finds his eyes across the room and gives him that little smile that’s meant just for him. That, in particular, never fails to make Frank’s heart skip a beat.

She’s not babying him, per se–just looking out for him. Frank finds it very touching, and has to work to not read more into it. They’re just friends, nothing more. Besides, wouldn’t it be super fucked up for Frank to make a move so soon after his wife died? Even if Mel did feel the same?

But–

Melissa King is under his skin. She’s crawled her way into his veins, his muscles, his cells, without even realizing it. She’s moved into a permanent spot in Frank’s brain. He’d be terrified about it if he wasn’t also immensely grateful she’s helping him through this.

Plus, Frank thinks he might never forgive himself if he were to start dating again before he’s even healed, before his kids have healed.

So no, Frank’s not ready to tell his therapist that he’s falling head over heels for his coworker.

He’s dealing with it.

But as Frank heads out of Winona’s office to his car and picks up his vibrating phone to see Mel’s face lighting up his screen, he can’t help the giant grin that takes over his face.

Again, he’s dealing with it. It’s fine.

Frank picks up, already feeling better. She has that effect on him. “Hey, Mel.”

It’s so fine. He’s fine.

The day after his session with Winona, Frank notices a silver Mercedes driving slowly down his block as he’s wrangling the kids into the car. Normally, he wouldn’t give it much thought, but he suddenly realizes he’s seen this car before.

It can’t be one of his neighbors, because he already knows what they drive. No one new has moved to the neighborhood lately, and it’s entirely possible that a neighbor just got a new car. Frank catches a glimpse of the driver, a blonde man whose face he doesn’t quite see because the man’s turning away as he passes Frank’s house.

Frank thinks he’s seen the car around a few times over the last few weeks. But his brain is currently too occupied making sure Penny doesn’t throw her alligator stuffie again and start a tantrum in her carseat, so he forgets about it in a minute.

It’s Mel’s birthday in a few days. Frank had asked her if she had any plans earlier that week in the break room.

“Probably just something low key,” she’d told him. “Becca and I are gonna go see the new romcom that just came out, then she’s going to dinner with Adam and his parents.”

She’d gulped down more of her mint tea, almost done with her protein bar. “It’ll be fun, I think.”

“Sounds nice. Are you, uh, are you gonna do anything else?”

Mel hummed. “I don’t think so. Was kind of looking forward to a quiet night. Maybe order sushi or something.”

It was almost too perfect. “That does sound nice, Mel. But you know what I think?”

“What do you think, Frank?” She’d turned to him then, mirth and fondness in her eyes.

“I think you should let me treat you. It is your birthday after all, and I want to make sure my friend is being celebrated.”

Mel let out a quiet laugh. “And you’re going to celebrate me?”

Frank shot her a look that said “duh”. “Besides, I have to give you your gift somehow.”

“My gi–Frank, you did not have to get me any–”

He squeezed her shoulder, chuckling. “I know I didn’t. But I promised, and besides…you’ve really–you’ve really been there for me since…and, and it’s your birthday, Mel. Please just let me treat you to sushi and gifts and whatever else you want.”

Like me, he’d wanted to say. Please want me.

They’d stared at each other for a moment, Frank’s hand still on her shoulder, his thumb dangerously close to brushing the base of her neck.

Frank wanted to touch her there. He wanted to touch her bare skin, wherever she’d let him–and especially wanted to touch the mole under her eye. He wanted to show her every opportunity he got to show her how incredible she was. He wanted to wake up next to her, and be the last person she saw before she closed her eyes at night.

But most of all, in that moment, Frank really wanted to know what Mel was thinking as she stared into his eyes.

He’d never found out, unfortunately, because Whitaker had stumbled in loudly, complaining of a mouthy patient. Whatever spell (or non-spell) that had been delicately floating in the space between Mel’s and Frank’s eyes had quickly dissipated. Mel had offered him a quick smile and thank you, and Frank took that as his cue to (very reluctantly) remove his hand from her shoulder.

The rest of the day had been kind of shit, but Frank couldn’t find it in him to care. He was going to be with Mel on her birthday. Nothing else mattered.

It’s Mel’s birthday today. Becca’s too, obviously. They’re both turning 28. Frank hasn’t told Mel this yet, but secretly he’s excited for her to turn 30 and finally embrace her “cool adult” era.

He’s already planning her a party, because he’s sane and normal. He’s just being a good friend. Friends throw their best friends/coworkers/crushes parties for a new decade of life.

Plus, Mel deserves a little extra love and celebration showered on her.

Their shifts don’t sync up today–it’s Frank’s first day off in almost a week, and Mel is covering for Cassie. Since it’s a weekend, he’s grateful to get some extra time with Tanner and Penny before his parents take them out to the arcade.

And of course, Frank texts Mel happy birthday the second he opens his eyes in the morning. He knows she won’t get a lot of texts or messages with that sentiment–not that people don’t care, they just don’t know or they forget. Mel’s told him she doesn’t like to advertise it, which Frank respects.

But fuck, he can’t help but feel a little smug imagining that he’ll probably be the only one to send her a birthday text that day.

Well. Besides Becca. Obviously.

Mel’s on his mind almost the whole day as he floats through and gets ready to leave to meet her at the sushi place she’d requested. She’d been there once or twice and wanted to go back for her special birthday dinner.

Frank had told her no problem, he would gladly take her anywhere she wanted to go. Because he’s hopeless.

But he’s determined to pull out all the stops he can that night, starting with picking Mel up for dinner. He’s not supposed to, but he stares as she grabs her jacket and locks the front door before turning to face him.

She looks stunning–in what world is Frank expected to not stare? Her hair’s half pulled back, and she’s in her favorite cardigan (it has pockets!) with a navy blue V-neck underneath and a pair of jeans. He’s definitely not looking, but there may be just a hint of cleavage showing.

Not that Frank would know. Because he’s definitely not looking at Mel’s chest.

He really, really, really wants to push Mel against the door and finally give in to what he can’t stop thinking about.

Instead, he smiles at her, and asks, “You ready?”

“Oh yeah, I’m gonna eat so much sushi, Frank.”

All Frank can do is shake his head and grin (she’s going to kill him someday) and usher her to his car. He opens the door for her and does an exaggerated bow when she slides in, just to make her laugh.

It works.

Dinner is great. Mel was right to come back to this place, the food is fantastic. Frank can’t remember the last time he’s had sushi this mouthwatering. He can’t take his eyes off her, either. She looks happier, more relaxed, despite having worked a full shift that day. At one point, Frank swears Mel glows extra bright under the warm lights.

After they’ve had their fill and their plates are cleared, Frank catches Mel’s eye and pulls out the small gift bag he’s been hiding under the table. “For you. Um…I hope you like it. Happy birthday, Mel.”

Mel beams at him. “This is so sweet. Thank you, Frankie.”

She carefully pulls out the tissue paper and sets it aside, pulling out a small wrapped item. She gives him a look of glee and surprise. “You wrapped it?”

“Of course I wrapped it, Mel. It’s your birthday.” Frank returns Mel’s smile.

Fuck, she’s so cute. Frank thinks he’s half in love with her.

Mel gets the wrapping off and looks back up at Frank with a huge grin. “You didn’t.”

“I told you I would, and I am a man of my word, Melissa King.” He can’t stop grinning now, either.

Mel brandishes the book at him–the same one he’d insisted on buying for her at the bookstore right before he got the call that turned his world upside down. Frank thinks it’s been a nice healing gesture, for both of them.

“You are ridiculous,” Mel laughs. She scans her eyes over the back of the book. “And you were right, Becca’s still talking to me about it. She’s gonna be so excited I finally have a copy.”

“Well, good. Tell me how it is after you finish it.”

Mel reaches out and grabs Frank’s left hand, which he’s left resting on the table next to him. He wants to melt. “Thank you, Frank. Really.”

“My pleasure.” He holds her eyes, pleased to see a flush crawling up her neck and onto her cheeks. Would it be so wrong to test the waters? To at least get a hint of how she feels?

Frank is still thinking about this as he pulls to a stop outside Mel’s apartment building. Does he dare push things?

If Frank is really honest with himself, he’s getting pretty tired of feeling like he’s not allowed to move on from Abby. Of feeling like he’s supposed to grieve her forever.

Of course, a part of Frank is always going to miss Abby. But she’s ingrained into all of them, will always be, as long as he, Tanner, and Penny live. Even her parents.

Nothing will change that. But Abby’s gone. She’s never coming back. And Frank doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life wondering “what if” with Mel. He wants her so much it scares him. Frank will gladly walk barefoot over broken glass just to find out if she feels the same.

He shakes it off, not wanting to bring down the mood. Turns to look at Mel, who’s looking out the window. Frank follows her gaze to see what she’s looking at, to find a passerby walking their goldendoodle. Frank glances at Mel to see her smiling to herself, her eyes on the dog. It is pretty cute, he has to admit.

He watches her for a second, appreciating the rare chance he gets to just look, without her looking back.

Mel giggles to herself before glancing back at Frank. He has to fight the urge to swallow.

“That was so fun,” she says softly, her brown eyes glimmering in the low light.

“I’m glad,” Frank gets out. When did his throat get so dry?

“I told you that sushi was to die for, didn’t I?”

He chuckles. “Yeah. Yeah, you did. I’m definitely going back.”

Mel hums and glances over at the front entrance of her apartment building. “Thank you for making my birthday so special. Do you–”

She turns back to Frank, her head lolling against the headrest. Frank’s pulse skyrockets at the look on her face. “Do you wanna come in?”

This time, Frank has no choice but to swallow. His throat feels like fucking molasses. “Oh. Uh…”

He needs to say no, because if he follows her inside, Frank is definitely going to do something really, really stupid.

“I wish I could, b-but my parents have Tanner and Penny. I gotta go, um, pick them up and get them ready for bed.” Frank shoots her an apologetic look.

Mel nods quickly. “Right, of course, well thank you for dropping me off. And thank you, again, for–”

“Of course, Mel. Anything for my favorite person.”

She ducks her head, grinning. “Right. Okay, well. Goodnight, Frank. Get home safe, okay?”

Mel unbuckles her seatbelt and leans across the console to hug Frank.

Normally, this wouldn’t surprise Frank–they hug all the time. It’s usually no big deal. But this time? He’s already so off balance from the shimmering something in the air between them that Mel’s arms around his neck somehow steal all the breath from his lungs. Instinctively, Frank reaches for her too, although the angle is a bit awkward. He can’t find it in him to care too much about it, though.

But then, Mel pulls back with that small smile she reserves just for him, and Frank forgets all the reasons why he can’t, why he shouldn’t, and kisses her.

And goddammit, her lips are so soft and her scent is making his head swim and–

It lasts all of two seconds before Frank realizes what he’s doing and draws back quickly.

“Shit.” He’s an idiot. He’s such a fucking idiot. Mel is staring at him, stunned, and he’s stammering, his head spinning and his heart pounding. “I-I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sor-sorry, Mel, I don’t–”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, because Mel makes a stifled noise in the back of her throat and grabs him by the collar to pull him in and crash her mouth back against his.

Oh, holy fucking shit.

Frank can’t help but gasp into Mel’s mouth. Faintly, he wonders if this is real. He’s imagined it so many times, and now Mel is actually kissing him back, like she’ll die if her mouth isn’t on his.

And the kiss is actually good, so mind-numbingly good that Frank thinks he might black out. His hands are in her hair, and she’s panting into his mouth, and her fingertips are brushing Frank’s jaw, and he wants to die. In fact, he thinks he will die, here and now, in this car, with Mel King pressed up against him, kissing him like there’s nothing she wants more in the world.

She pulls away to catch her breath, her nose nudging against Frank’s. They’re both breathing hard now, staring at each other. Frank realizes Mel tastes like spicy tuna and crab. He does not care one bit.

“I–”, Frank whispers once he regains the ability to speak sentences. “I, um–”

The moment is interrupted by a faint buzzing coming from somewhere in between them. Mel doesn’t seem to register it at first, her pupils blown out, her lips swollen.

She doesn’t look terrified or grossed out, which Frank takes as a win.

“Is that–is that coming from–?”

She snaps out of it, sucking in a breath and drawing back to her own seat. Mel realizes it’s coming from her when she pats herself down, checking her pockets.

It’s really cute. Again, Frank wants to die.

She pulls out her phone and quickly answers. Her breathing has mostly returned to normal, but Frank can still see the blotchiness of her flushed cheeks. “Hi, Becca!”

Maybe it’s from the spicy tuna, but Frank swears his lips are tingling. He resists the urge to reach up and press his fingers to them, to remind himself it was real.

“Aw, that sounds so fun. I’m really glad you had a good time. Uh, hang on a second–” Mel cradles the phone against her collarbone and glances in Frank’s direction, not meeting his eyes. “Sorry, I have to go, Becca wants to–yeah, um, goodnight, see you at work!”

Mel hastily fumbles for the door handle and manages to open it, grabbing the gift bag on her way out. “T-thanks again!”

“Mel, wait.” Frank tries to call after her, but she shuts the door and rushes towards the entrance, not looking back.

He lets his head drop to rest on the steering wheel. “Fuck.”

Frank will text Mel, or call her, or something, when he’s pulled himself together. Does he want to do that again? Yes. But does he want to make sure they’re okay and he hasn’t scared her off? Also yes.

But above all…Frank finally knows what it’s like to kiss Melissa King, and he wants more. He wants so much more.

Winona’s going to have a fucking field day with this.

It’s pretty late by the time Frank gets the kids home and into bed, letting himself wind down and freak out in private over the kiss. For a while, he just lays on his couch, eyes open and unblinking, replaying it over and over again.

He only fights a dopey grin a few times.

After a while, Frank finds himself in the kitchen filling up his water bottle to take to his nightstand, when he hears a tentative knock on the front door.

Frank frowns and glances at the microwave clock. It’s almost 11:30 at night. His neighborhood’s pretty safe, but you never know these days. For a second, his heart jumps and he wonders if it’s Mel.

He sets his water bottle back onto the counter and shuffles to the door. Checks the peephole to find not Mel, but a tall man with his head bowed. What the fuck?

There’s a few alarm bells going off in Frank’s head now. If this was during the day, he wouldn’t think twice about it, for sure. But he’s more than a little wary to open his door to a stranger at 11:30 at night while his kids are asleep upstairs. He considers walking away and letting whoever this is think everyone’s asleep. Except–

The man catches a glimpse of Frank through the side glass panel as he steps back. “Frank! Hey Frank, it’s me, Isaac.”

Frank pauses. Does he know this guy?

“You know, Isaac, from Golden Oaks. Emily’s dad? Listen, I’m really sorry it’s so late, but uh…”

It clicks into place for Frank then. The blonde man from the funeral. The parent of Penny’s friend that he and Abby had set up playdates for once or twice. Only, he barely remembers them, because Abby had usually done most of the coordinating.

Frank turns the lock and slowly opens the door a crack, keeping his foot up against the edge in case he needs to shut it quickly. He peers out at Isaac, who’s blinking up at him in the porch light. He glances past him to see a silver Mercedes parked on the curb.

“Hey,” Isaac says again. “I’m so sorry to bother you. You were probably getting ready for bed. Uh–”

“It’s fine,” Frank says, even though he’s not sure he believes it. “Is everything okay?”

Isaac lets out a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I just–I really need to talk to you.”

Frank’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. “At 11:30pm?”

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

He stares at Isaac for a moment, then opens the door wider. “Sure, I guess.”

The man shoots him a look of such relief and gratitude as he steps inside past Frank that he’s left wondering what the hell is in store for him. He looks at the car again as he closes the door and locks it.

The sun is high in the sky as Frank sits in his patio, picking up another item from the box in front of him.

This one is a wrinkled note scrawled onto a torn piece of printer paper. It’s in Abby’s handwriting. He doesn’t bother to look at the words again before leaning forward and dropping it into the lit firepit. He’s read it enough times in the early days to remember what it says.

There’s already a few other items sitting in the firepit, flames licking at them. Frank picks up another item to see it’s one of their framed wedding photos that he’s holding. He looks at it for a second. They both looked so happy he almost didn’t recognize either of them. Abby looked stunning in her flowing sleeveless lace dress, and Frank was donned in a navy blue suit with his hair slicked back.

Frank lets out a long exhale through his nose and decides he can’t look at it anymore. He tosses the frame back into the box and picks out one of Abby’s old hats. It’s wide brimmed and dotted with–Frank doesn’t even know what they’re called, he just knows they’re a rich person thing. He knows it cost more than what he’d make in a week at the hospital. They had still been adjusting to life with a toddler, and drowning in bills, but Abby had insisted on buying it when it caught her eye in the window.

She only wore it three times in the next four months, and then shoved it in the back of their closet after that.

And she’d had the gall to question Frank when he told her he wanted to buy them all plane tickets to go on vacation in Cancun.

The trip would’ve been too expensive, she’d explained. They needed to save up more.

Frank throws the offending hat into the firepit and watches the flames slowly take over.

Faintly, he hears something click and footsteps approach.

“Frank?”

He turns in his chair quickly and glances up to see–

“Mel.”

The sight of her is almost enough to temper his simmering and take his breath away, even if she’s just in jeans and a T-shirt. She looks mildly annoyed, but happy to see him.

“Hi.” Mel takes a hesitant step towards Frank.

“Hi,” Frank returns, his eyes roving over her. It’s been a few days since he’s seen her, and the ache of missing her has been so strong it almost hurts.

“I tried calling you. And–and texting, and then you didn’t answer the door…”

Shit. “Ah, sorry, Mel. My phone’s inside, and I’ve, I’ve been out here for a while.”

“It’s okay,” she reassures him, shaking her head the way she does when she’s trying to brush something off and show that she’s not bothered.

Frank gestures towards the chair next to him. “Do you want to–?”

“Actually, it’s not okay.” Mel stalks over to the chair before he can finish his sentence and sinks down into it. They’re sitting side by side now, Mel staring straight ahead of her as she continues talking. “You’ve been avoiding me, right? I was doing it first, I know, and I’m sorry, but–”

“Mel.” Frank drags his hands down his face. He’s glad she’s here, actually, because he has been avoiding her, and he feels awful about it.

“But, I mean, Frank, you kissed me first. Right? I didn’t make that up?”

He’s quiet for a second. “No, you didn’t.”

He wants to look over at Mel, to search her eyes and get a glimmer of hope that he hasn’t fucked this all up. He feels like he’s got one foot out in the air on a tightrope a thousand feet from the ground, teetering off balance.

Mel sighs. “Frank.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

Frank stares into the firepit, wondering when everything had gotten so complicated. “Let’s just say it’s been a rough few days.”

He hears Mel shift in her chair and hum, the way she does when she’s trying to figure something out.

“Because of…?”

“No! No, Jesus, Mel. Not because of that. I’m just…I’m sorry if I—if I crossed a line or made you uncomfortable. But I’m not sorry I kissed you.”

“Oh,” Mel whispers. Then—

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, Frank.”

Now Frank turns his head slightly to peer at Mel, squinting a bit when the light gets in his eyes.

It’s like the night of her birthday in the restaurant—she’s so bathed in the sunlight she’s practically glowing. He aches, just a little.

Okay, maybe a lot.

“Really?”

Mel chuckles and meets his eyes. “Really.”

“Oh,” Frank says, like an idiot. “That’s good.”

“You don’t, um. You don’t regret it?”

He shakes his head vehemently. “Not a single bit.”

“Me neither.”

Frank feels like there’s something Mel is trying to tell him, but the gears in his brain are moving too slowly. “You don’t?”

She almost rolls her eyes, her gaze fond. “Frank, I wanted you to kiss me.”

His mouth falls open. “You–you did?”

Smooth, Frank. Really smooth. You’re doing a great job at navigating this conversation.

Mel gnaws on her bottom lip and glances down, uncertain. “I know it’s complicated, and…and you’re going through a lot right now. I get it. I’ve been there. But I would be lying if I said there weren’t times I couldn’t stop thinking about you. If I–if I said there weren’t times I’d see you with Abby and…and…”

Frank should probably stop staring at Mel with his mouth gaping open like a fish, but. It’s been established that he’s an idiot. It’s fine. He can be normal about it if Mel is telling him that she’s wanted him too.

She turns towards him then, her gaze pleading. “And, and I know you two were trying to work things out. Everyone has rough patches. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I wanted you to be happy, and if–if you’d managed to find that again with her, I would’ve been happy for you. I mean, you two seemed like you had a pretty nice life, and Tanner and Penny are such wonderful kids. I didn’t want to get in the way of that–I’m not…I’m not a homewrecker, I would never have intentionally tried to–”

He needs to stop her, because he thinks he’s about to cry, or laugh, or maybe do both at the same time. “Mel.”

“You have to believe–”

“Mel.”

She clamps her mouth shut, a sheepish look on her face. Frank takes a deep breath, his eyes locked onto Mel’s.

“Are you telling me that you had feelings for me while I was married to Abby?”

Mel fiddles with her hands in her lap, but she keeps her eyes on him. “I–yes?”

“And do you…do you still?”

“Yes.”

Frank takes another deep breath, this one a little more ragged. There’s so much roiling around inside him, he’s not even sure how to parse everything and sort through it. A job for Winona to help with. “Okay. I–okay.”

They’re silent for a moment, then Mel starts to ask him something, but Frank’s brain is yelling at him too loud to really hear her.

“Abby and I had a lot of problems, Mel. Did you know that? It wasn’t just one rough patch.” Frank’s not sure if he should be telling Mel all this. He still has complicated feelings about it, and it’s probably something he should continue to untangle with Winona, but. His conversation with Isaac a few days ago has been taking up most of his brainspace. And he just wants to say it out loud, to another human.

He wants to tell Mel. Even if it’s probably way too much to put on her. But it’s Mel, and she’s looking at him with that patient, kind look in her eyes, and Frank thinks back to all the times she’s quietly shown up for him since they became friends.

“Abby wanted our life to look perfect, but…I don’t think it ever was. It was good, don’t get me wrong. She was a great mom, she really was. And…and we were happy, for a while.”

He clears his throat, glancing up at Mel to see if this will be too much for her to hear. She nods slightly at him, signaling him to keep going.

“I really did want to make it work. We both tried. Well. I thought she did, but. Anyway–you don’t need to worry about getting in the way, or, or marring the sanctity of our perfect marriage, because I got a late night visit from her boyfriend the other day.”

Mel’s mouth falls open, her eyes widening. Leans forward like she wants to touch him. Frank can’t decide if he wants her to. “From her…?”

“Yup,” Frank enunciates the pop of the “p” as it leaves his lips. He lets out a dark chuckle, wishing he feels more bitter about this, but then again. There was the whole wanting Mel thing. So maybe he and Abby are even now. “Turns out Abby was seeing one of the other parents at Tanner’s and Penny’s school behind my back.”

This time, Mel does touch him–she grabs on to his hand, and Frank decides he’s glad for it. She always knows how to steady him.

“Oh, Frank.”

“Yeah. Four months, and I had no fucking idea. It never even occurred to me. I kinda feel like a moron for not catching on, but…I also feel like an asshole for not being more upset about it.”

“W-well, you should feel however–however you feel about it, Frank. That’s–wow, that is a lot. I’m really sorry.”

Frank glances away to gaze into the firepit. The hat is halfway in ashes now. “Apparently, she was about to serve me papers. And he thought she’d already told me about him.”

“She didn’t?”

“Nope.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

He can feel Mel squeeze his hand. He squeezes back.

“Guess I didn’t know her as well as I thought, huh?”

“Frank…” Mel sounds so sad, and Frank is ready to do anything in his power to change that. He meets her eyes.

“How does that phrase go? Beating a dead horse or something?” He chuckles again. “My marriage with Abby was dead for a long time, Mel. Just took me a while to realize.”

Mel scrambles to join Frank on his chair then, and clambers up onto his lap to hug him fiercely. It almost knocks the wind out of his lungs, but he recovers quickly and wraps his own arms around Mel, holding her tight.

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbles into his shoulder. Frank’s heart swells.

“It’s okay,” he tells her, and even though he’s not entirely sure he means it, he knows he’ll get there. Eventually. “I’m just gonna be, you know, a little fucked up from it, I think. For a little while.”

Mel hums, the vibration shooting through his skin and sending a thrill through Frank. Her hand slides up to cup the back of his neck and she pulls back to look him in the eye. “I think we’re all a little fucked up in our own ways, don’t you think?”

Frank laughs, suddenly feeling lighter than he has in a long time. “Yeah. Yeah, I think you’re right.”

He’s seized by the insatiable need to tell her how he feels. If he doesn’t do it now, he might die.

“I do feel guilty, though.” Frank tentatively brings up a hand to brush Mel’s hair away from her face, and her breath hitches.

“For what?”

“For wanting you when I was supposed to be saving my marriage.”

Mel’s eyes get a little glassy. She leans into his touch, her fingertips combing through the ends of his hair at the back of his neck. “Oh, Frankie.”

Frank lets out a shaky breath. “Mel.”

“Yeah.”

“I know I have the worst timing ever, probably, but I–I can’t hide it anymore. I’m–”

Mel’s already leaning in, mumbling canipleasekissyou, and Frank is already meeting her, answering without a single word.

This time, it feels less like frantic desperation and want, and more like relief and coming home.

Frank can’t fathom how he could ever grow tired of kissing Mel. She smiles into his lips and murmurs his name, and all Frank can think is this feels right. More right than anything he’s felt in a long time.

Mel pulls back, her eyes shining and her cheeks flushed. “We’ll figure it out, Frankie.”

“Yeah?” He says breathlessly.

“Yeah. I’m not going anywhere.”

Frank thinks he’s crying already. He can’t believe how lucky he is. He can’t believe he’s falling in love with such an incredible person, with someone who makes it feel easy and right.

“I like the sound of that.”

Then Mel’s smile grows until it’s too big for her face, and Frank thinks he could get used to this sight every day for the rest of his life.

Yeah, he really likes the sound of that.