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"Ah, my ddingdonz have been so distant lately. I have to use the same clips to make edits."
"Honestly, I think they're divorced."
"Ddingdonz divorce era please be over, I miss you guys!!"
"Myung Jaehyun, do something!"
"Get your Myungjae photocard, let's take a picture of them close together, it's the only thing we have left."
"Our Jaehyun and Taesan on a date, I wish so much this was real!"
"Didn't you bring the photocard where Taesan is making a heart? I have Jaehyun making a heart here, let's put them together!"
"Wait, ah, I found it."
"How pretty!"
What the Onedoors didn't know was that their biases Jaehyun and Taesan were having dinner in the next compartment over, completely out of sight but certainly not out of earshot.
Jaehyun was holding himself back from laughing, and Taesan had already given up holding back his laughter.
"Taesanie, are we divorced? I didn't even know we got married."
"Ah, hyung. You lost me!"
"Darling, don't say that, you haven't signed the papers yet!"
"Give me a pen right now, hyung."
They didn't want to eavesdrop on the Onedoors' conversation, but it was a little hard to ignore when they were so cute, ah.
The Onedoors calmed down a bit and Jaehyun took advantage of the moment they were focused on other things to get up and discreetly pay the bill for his and Taesan's table, and for their fans' table too, it was the least he could do after causing all that stress with his and Taesan's hypothetical divorce.
It had been a while since they did a live together, um, when was the last time, really? Taesan prefers to do lives alone, maybe he should show up the next time Taesan is on live, they could make a heart together, so their dear Onedoors would be happy.
Jaehyun went back to his table and soon he and Taesan went home, in silence and tranquility. Jaehyun was writing on Weverse and checking his phone, so he didn't notice Taesan's complicated expression and the glances he gave occasionally.
Taesan wouldn't easily admit it, but he had the habit of searching his name and the members' names on Twitter. It was nothing much, just a check to see what the fans were thinking. Lately, when he did that, his name was always close to Sungho-hyung or Leehan, sometimes Woonhak and Riwoo-hyung, but now that he stopped to think a little, when was the last time he saw his name close to Jaehyunie-hyung? When was the last time he saw his fans use the term ddingdongz?
With a serious expression, Taesan put on his earphones and started watching Ddingdongz chemistry moments.
There was something different about how he and Jaehyun acted around each other, maybe they really had distanced themselves. Taesan tried to look for more recent moments but they were scarce and not even close to the chemistry they demonstrated in the past. As he kept watching his expression grow worse and worse.
The car went over a speed bump right when Taesan realized something about himself.
A gasp escaped him as he put his hand over his mouth, in a brief fright, and looked at Jaehyunie-hyung with some surprise and even a bit of horror.
"Ah, Dongmin-ie, did that scare you? Ah, manager-nim, more careful, please. Taesanie almost hit his head on the ceiling."
"Sorry, Taesan, Jaehyun!"
"There, there, Taesan-ie."
Jaehyunie-hyung gave a few little pats on his head without even looking at him, just one, two pats, and he went back to being focused on his phone. Taesan wanted to cry a little bit.
He realized that it's been a while since he had been avoiding Jaehyun. Nothing too obvious, simple things like avoiding eye contact, avoiding standing side by side. No, maybe those things were too obvious, just not to him, after all, the fans had noticed.
Did it start at No Genre? Or was it before that? He remembers having to hold his breath every time he and Jaehyun did the couple dance, remembers repeating his lines over and over in his head or focusing on the feeling of his feet on the floor. He always used force to move Jaehyun around — he had never stopped to think about it — but when he moved Jaehyun more aggressively, it made him not think of anything. The opposite of when they went slower and calmer — he couldn't help but think about Jaehyun's touches, the feeling of their bodies together, how he could hear his hyung's breathing and maybe even a little bit of his racing heart. It was simply easier to go all out and get it over with once and for all than to witness the moment.
Taesan had been avoiding Jaehyun for a good while and hadn't even noticed! But, what about Jaehyunie-hyung? Had he noticed the distance between them?
The scenes in the restaurant were passing through Taesan's head. Superficially, there didn't seem to be anything wrong. They had dinner, laughed a little at the worried Onedoors, chatted a little between bites, and went home. Nothing abnormal about all of that. But what catches his attention is how Jaehyun reacted to the news of their divorce.
If it were with any other member, Jaehyun would have laughed, but also complained a lot more, would have pouted about it, would have acted more affectionately, more persistently. He saw Jaehyun acting that way with the other members, always persistently, always extra-lovingly — but what about him? When was the last time Jaehyunie-hyung acted like that with him?
It was clear in the Ddingdongz chemistry videos that before, Jaehyun allowed himself to act quite affectionately with Taesan. No, Taesan allowed it, even reluctantly. But now, Jaehyun doesn't even try anymore.
How would he try if Taesan is never around him.
His thoughts got interrupted by the source of all his current (and past) worries.
"Taesan-ie, Han Taesan? Are you okay?"
"Ah, yes, hyung." — his voice came out a little hoarse. Jaehyun looked at him with concern but Taesan couldn't hold his gaze for even three seconds.
"Let's go in, then." — Taesan noticed that Jaehyun turned his head to the side and went ahead, creating a literal distance between them.
When did Jaehyunie-hyung start acting like this? At the same time as Taesan? After Taesan?
The rest of the night passed pretty quickly. Dongmin did his usual night routine but it was clear his mind wasn't there. Some members noticed but they knew that in these moments Taesan preferred to sort out his thoughts in silence first.
He went to bed, tried to sleep, turned over, and turned over once more. But he couldn't close his eyes. Whenever he tried, the feeling of sadness, and even guilt, hovered in his mind, in his heart.
What had he done? He knows how much Jaehyun likes to show love to his members, and he ended up closing a part of himself to his hyung. Jaehyun never said anything. Was he hurt? Is he sad, too?
For some reason, Taesan feels sad thinking about the supposed divorce. It was funny when he heard it for the first time, but now, it's breaking him. After seeing the old Ddingdongz moments, he started to miss what they had, what he himself had deprived himself of.
For Taesan, it was always hard to be affectionate with the members, both physically and emotionally. He had overcome that a little but it is part of who he is. Han Dongmin is a man of actions, not words or touches. But what actions had Dongmin done to prove he cared about his hyung?
It wasn't hard to act affectionate with Woonhak, he was like his little brother. With Sungho it was fun, it was like playing with a little cat. With Leehan it was a little weird but okay. And with Riwoo, ah, he was his cute older brother, so it was no problem. But with Jaehyun it was different.
Very different.
When he and Leehan acted the way the fans liked, Taesan felt nervous looking at his face, but it ended there. At the end of the day, they were friends.
With Jaehyun, however, when they acted the same way, Taesan couldn't forget the look Jaehyun gave him, or the lurches of his heart, his hands spent hours opening and closing and his mind reliving the moment.
With Jaehyun, what they did felt real.
When he did fanservice with Leehan, it was just because the cameras and the fans were there.
With Jaehyun, it was the cameras and the fans that made him not go further.
He didn't like the way Myung Jaehyun made him feel. It wasn't just the panic of being stared at by a handsome guy. There was something more. When his hyung looked at him that way, his breath hitched and he could feel the warmth of his hyung on his skin even without them touching, or rather, he anticipated feeling the warmth of his hyung.
Jaehyun made him feel many things, and fear was one of them. If he were to think about each of the fears his feelings for Jaehyun made him feel, well, there wouldn't be enough days for that, nor time.
For now, he needed to focus on something else. This distance he caused between them. Now that he had noticed, he couldn't stand being so distant from Jaehyun, and he didn't even mean that physically, but emotionally. The thought that Jaehyun was also distancing himself from him, despite not being how he is, made him crazy.
Jaehyun deserves to distribute love and affection to everyone, it's who he is, it's what makes him so... so unbearable to be around, because it made Taesan want to return all that love, all that affection that Jaehyun has. And he didn't know how, his breath faltered just imagining giving 10% of Jaehyun's 100%.
But he knows that Jaehyun deserves, more than anything, to be loved. Jaehyun deserves all the love in the world, and not just from Taesan, but also from Taesan.
He got up from the bed in a sudden movement. It wasn't very late, so his hyung might still be awake. He hates interrupting the only moments Jaehyun has for himself and to rest, but if he doesn't get this off his chest right now, he doesn't know when he'll have the courage to do it again. His hyung was so incredible, how could he be so open and so tender.
As fast as he got up from the bed, he went downstairs.
Luckily no one appeared in his way. In the blink of an eye, his gaze was facing Jaehyun's, who looked at him surprised and disconcerted.
Jaehyun stood there looking at Taesan, waiting.
He lowered his cell phone and sat up straight on the sofa. His look of surprise softened and he gave a nod, calling Taesan to sit next to him.
Taesan sat down, without taking his eyes off Jaehyun.
His hands were restless, and he breathed in a large amount of air as if he was about to start speaking but couldn't find the right words.
Jaehyun said nothing, just stayed there, calm and understanding.
Finally Taesan managed to compose himself. He stopped fidgeting with his fingers, ran his hands over his legs until he made up his mind and then took his hyung's hands in his.
Jaehyun was surprised but didn't pull away, he continued with his welcoming look encouraging Taesan.
"Hyung."
"Yes? Dongmin-ah?"
"Let's get married! What? Ah, no, that came out wrong, wait, I meant, let's not get divorced! Aish, that doesn't make sense either—"
Taesan was interrupted by Jaehyun's laugh. His hyung squeezed his hands tightly while laughing and leaning forward, towards his chest. Taesan's heart started doing those weird things, and his whole body was warm, being warmed by Jaehyun's laugh.
"Ah, Taesan-ie, haha. Okay. It's alright."
"It's alright?"
"It's alright."
It wasn't certain if Jaehyun had understood, but he could see in his hyung's eyes that it was indeed alright, now everything was well,somehow. What everything being alright meant, well, he would have to find out.
"Hyung, Ah, can I stay with you, today?"
"Uhm, there's not much space here..."
"Then let's go upstairs, alright?"
"Okay, alright."
His hyung opened a smile, that affectionate smile full of love that he always gave to the other members. Taesan had missed that smile so much.
He helped Jaehyun pick up his blanket, and all the way upstairs, they never let go of each other's hands.
"Hyung?"
"Yes, Taesan-ie?"
"Let's do a live, tomorrow. Together."
"Okay."
Jaehyun squeezed his hand and moved closer to Taesan, his shoulder now pressed against Taesan's broad back. He squeezed Jaehyun's hand back.
The conversation didn't go as Taesan intended — well, he didn't even have a plan or anything, and it wasn't even really a conversation.
But his hyung was by his side, where he should be, so it was alright, they were going to be okay.
In the following days, the Dingdongz and Myungtae tags went viral on Onedoortwt, as so #divorceisover.