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Tails was, in fact, sleeping in the middle of the kitchen floor.
At this very moment.
His eyes fluttered slightly yet closed shut and tight, as if walking between deep sleep and the awakened reality. The side of his fluffy body pressed to the cold floor while his legs stretched on each side as Sonic walked upon the sight. Baffled.
Well, that wasn’t on today’s to-do list, was it? Geez, are you good, dude?
Despite everything that the blue blur has seen in his life, this has gotta be the strangest. Because he knew his little brother. Couldn’t sleep anywhere except his bed and his bed only. And this was the classic telltale sign that the kit was sick.
He always had a weak immune system, especially when they first met. Due to the harsh conditions that Tails used to live under, surviving barely without any food and enduring the harsh winters alone in a forest.
Crouching down to get a closer look, the older hears the wheezing, short, shallow breaths through his open mouth - showing off the two sharp fangs that were starting to grow. With a glove placed onto Tails’ forehead, the burn confirmed a horrible fever.
Poor boy. Always sick during this time of year, when the coldness drags itself during the days and nights, storms rumbling their groans of rain and thunder. If only Sonic could take it away. If only Sonic could rewind time and make sure that Tails got out of that horrible house that he used to live in with his mother, and give him the proper food, shelter and love so he wouldn't develop this weak immune system.
But, it would probably go against his morals, as he ever did, he would burn the whole island into ashes and smoke. It's just a thought, though.
Sonic raised a slight eyebrow at the tremors trickling down the little one’s body, as well as how Tails did smell a little… Well, his self-care was never good, but Sonic could never blame him. Executive functioning made it hard to do basic tasks.
It wasn’t like Sonic could blame him; he kinda does the same thing sometimes. Forgetting to put deodorant on or take a shower. Kinda different though at the same time. Sonic's memory is like a goldfish's, while Tails gets too exhausted and overwhelmed and gives up life in general.
A list starts springing in his mind - Tails hasn’t invented anything in two weeks, he's been avoiding chores, and cancelling plans at the last second. Yeah, it was adding up, leaving a soft frown on his face. A face filled with soft concern.
It was pretty much everything. Mainly the Infinite War and the Metal Virus, as well as everything in between.
He overworked himself, his been carrying so much to the point that he got sick because of it, did he? I love him so much, but I swear he is going to give me grey hair by the age of 20.
BANG!
Thunder rips a roar and flashes the world white for a second, causing the fox to wake up with a startled shriek. Eyes widen, he looks everywhere, wondering just why he is here. Sonic never reacted, just stayed in his place, sitting on the tiled floor. “Morning, bud,” he spoke with a smile carrying warmth, before dipping into something wistful, watching the kit hug himself with droopy eyes.
“Huh!? Wh-wha-?” Tails mumbles; the memories leading up to sleeping here vanished. Nothing but black images.
“It’s ok,” a hand reaches for the little brother’s hand, which the fox instantly grabs with a squeeze. A comfort lifeline. “You just uh… got too tired and sick and ended up sleeping here. Not the best place to sleep, I’ll admit,” the blue hedgehog ended with a chuckle and curled smile on the side.
Blink. Blink. Blink. Sending him a blank stare before-
“Pardon?”
“You were so exhausted that you probably fainted and slept?”
… what? I just… oooooh.
Tails nods slowly with a long ‘oh’ sound, his body feeling light and dizzy. Vision blurry and spinning. Colours and outline merging. Still, he had things to do.
Gosh, he knew he had things to do. Just been putting it off for weeks. He was supposed to be 'the smart one'. The one who just did his job just like how he had been asked. Instead, he’s been slacking off. Lying on his bed while his mind drowned in spiralling thoughts.
The thoughts brought flashing memories of terror and pain. Mistakes piling one another. What he did wrong. What he could have done right. All the reasons for him not being good enough. Never good enough.
Standing on the sidelines with his tiny-ass tablet and letting Sonic deal with saving the Wisps, being useless to the point that he got chucked onto the train cause he was needless in the last fight. Or arguing with his big brother over little things - being a stupid teenage brat. Falling apart when Sonic was locked up for 6 months. Losing the cure because of two zombots.
It overwhelmed him. Deeply. Carrying it all on his shoulders. A burden he drags along each day and night. At first, it was his second nature. Even before he met Sonic. But in these past few weeks, the heaviness started to show. Droopy eyes. Tired, sore muscles. And now this horrible sickness.
Hopefully, he doesn't find out, right? I... quit sitting 'round! I still have things to do, idiot!
Noticing him beginning to stand up, Sonic’s face flickered in surprise before sprawling back to his feet and questioning with a hint of panic in his voice, “Sir, what are you doing!? You’re no good to stand yet, look at you! You’re shaking!”
The fox, though, wasn’t stubborn for no reason. Letting go of his brother’s grasp, he leaned his body against the kitchen cupboard, catching his breath. “Imma walk,” he spat out, the pain in his bed starting to dig inside itself and to the skull.
“Yeah, nice try. But, sad for you, you are waaay too sick to.”
“I’m fine,” Tails waves it off with a weak smile as he trudges to the workshop. His body had other ideas, his knees giving out and bending itself in a sudden. Luckily, the blue blur caught him in a safe hug, letting Tails bury his head into his chest, just like how he has always done since they were kids.
Well... kinda like kids? Tails had always been the more physically affectionate one due to his trauma. Sure, he could tolerate the hug, but then after a few awkward seconds, Sonic would ruffle his bangs and step aside. High-fives and fist bumps were ok, mostly cause they weren't intimate.
Until the war came. Being stuck in isolation. And then the virus. Not being able to touch anyone. It was the most painful thing that the blue blur had to go through, without a single touch of hurt. Now, every 30 minutes, it was hug, hug, hug!
(And of course, Tails would always take this new trait of Sonic's to his advantage whenever possible).
With a soft squeeze, Sonic comfortably wraps his arms around Tails’ small body as he starts to rock in a back-and-forth motion to soothe his breathing a little. He quietly starts to cough squeakily, whistling noisily, making Sonic instantly rub repetitive circles on his sore back. Due to the fact of having two tails, an aching back is just one of the side effects.
Hugs. One of Tails’ favourite things. He has always been a clingy, affectionate kind of guy. Mainly because he was so touch-starved when he was little. So when the hug stayed as well as the motion, his two tails began to flap and tired, happy vocal stims played, the older smiled through it, letting the moment hold to what it was.
Maybe I'll tell the truth but not the whole truth. Plus, I can't really hide this sickness, can I?
“Ok,” his little brother murmurs, breaking the silence, “Ok, um, maybe I do feel sick.”
“Just a ‘maybe’?” Sonic playfully asks, pulling the kit back to see face to face, the two laughing.
Maybe? What do you mean by "maybe.’ LOOK AT YOURSELF!!
…before the younger one starts coughing louder, letting out apologies in each one.
Booping his nose, Tails blinks as Sonic lifts the kit safely to the bench. “Nope. No apologizing for something you can’t help." He then begins to announce his plan loudly and freely, the raindrops stroking the windows and roofs with gentle care.
“Here is the plan for today, so your brain doesn’t panic, and I remember what you still need. First, I’ll set up a nice cozy spot on the couch just for you. Blankets, tea, free cuddles if you wish, your favorite plushies, noise-cancelling headphones due to the rain that I didn’t ask for and more blankets. I’ll make us some good old lunch and after that-.”
“Stop. Stop! Stooop~!” Tails raises his voice as he covers his ears and starts to kick his legs, eyes closed. “You’re speaking too fast, and my brain can’t think, and it’s too much and too many words!” The pain only drilled harder into his skull, making it insufferable.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please don’t go. I’ll be good. I won't be difficult. What am I doing!? Why am I like this!? What’s wrong with me!?
Sonic’s eyes darted, his hand rubbing circles now on the upper arm. His foot tapped at a fast pace, unable to contain all of his guilt and worry in his heart. He loved his little brother so much that it sometimes hurt. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll try to speak slower. One step at a time?” He asks with a faint grin. Trying his damn best to be a good brother.
Oh. My. God! Sonic! You’re supposed to be better than this! He gets overwhelmed with too much information! And yet, you keep on making the same mistake!
Biting his lips, Tails opened his eyes and began to raise his voice again, banging his hand in a locked fist to his head repeatedly. A throbbing pain that just continued to play its tormented game. "OW! OW!" He yelped instinctively, repeating his screams in order to soothe it just for a bit.
Sonic reached for another hug, another squeeze, secretly holding Tails’ hand to make him stop hurting himself. He makes low, shush noises in an attempt to reassure. The comfort worked like always, the screaming coming a pause and no more stims that harmed himself. Instead, he redirected the kit to a more safer stim by grasping both of his hands and flapping once or twice before letting go and letting him continue the motion.
Flap. Flap. Flap.
He had never seen his buddy this happy with stimming. Sadly, he hates doing it in public. Scared of judgement which is fair. Some people can be just plain rude.
But, it wasn't only just that. It was the small smile that began to rise in Tails' face. The tension leaving out the anxiety party from his chest. So relaxed. Despite an adorable sneeze and another cough, Sonic couldn't help but wonder if there was something else going on.
It must be burnout as well, right? Or still in shock from the events that had happened not too long ago. God, it's been too long since we had a break, now thinking about it. And it doesn't help that he never tells me these things.
Sonic watched the wonderful sight for a few more moments before asking. "Need medicine for that headache? I can fetch it for you if you like."
Tails nods in almost a pleading way. “Yes, yes, please.” The blue hedgehog offered a hand for Tails to grab, and the fox boy did so almost immediately. While grabbing the pill from the messy drawer (he was never good at organizing things), he squeezed his hand a few times in a rhythm to soothe the pain further.
Sometimes in states like these - tired and awfully sick - Tails’ speech would grow into simpler words or none at all. This was both because of too much information to process and as a way to cope with the emotions. Although he was a smart genius, the kid really did feel a lot. Maybe too much sometimes.
As the blue blur searches for the right pills in mild frustrations of misplacing items as usual, Tails starts to hand flap with his spare hand, trying to get rid of this dull ache that builds up in his chest. A storm he can’t escape.
I have things to do. I need to do them. Everyone is expecting it to be done by today, and I’ve been slacking off for damn weeks. Ugh, of course, I procrastinate until the last minute.
He then blinks and mumbles as he gets off the bench slowly, “No, wait. What am I saying? I have stuff to do.”
“Tails~.”
“I still gotta finish a few things.”
Sonic watched as his little brother padded carefully across the hallway, using the walls and doorframes for support. Stumbling slightly as he leans and catches his breath in almost every step. Fighting for a battle that already won itself.
Are you serious, dude? Again? Pulling the “I’m fine” act right now? Why is he masking? Why is he pretending? Is it something that I’ve done wrong? He's supposed to be in bed, not inventing!
"Miles. Tails. Prower. C'mere," Sonic says with a firm yet soft voice, the one that doesn't scare him but still stands his ground. Crossed arms, he watched as Tails paused, leaning on the wall and just glancing at him. His usual blue eyes colours drained out due to the exhaustion.
He knew he couldn't help this feeling that his little brother gets. He never got mad about this. The world had taught him that, for a kid too young, love has to be earned and granted from good deeds and perfection. His differences, yes, from his two tails mutation to his autism that affects his perspective on the world (which of course Sonic never hated but rather cherished), but Sonic always made sure to love him for all that he is.
The kit slightly shook his head, making a slight groaning noise, its ears flapping downwards. Using all of his strength to hold himself against the wall so as not to fall.
With a sigh, the blue hedgehog paced around with a furrowed brow, his concern increasing by a mile. "Buddy, you know you are sick. You said it yourself! So why do you still feel the need to push yourself, huh? You know, you know that I am more than happy to take care of you and let you have a couple of rest days. The others won't mind either. You have been working hard for the past couple of weeks, I'm sure of i-?"
"I haven't."
"Wh-what?"
"I've done nothing! For like the past two freaking weeks!" Tails raised his voice, a slight tear welling up in his eyes. Avoiding eye contact as he fidgeted with his gloves. "UGH! I shouldn't feel like this! I shouldn't always be sick! I feel like vomiting and-and uh, and my head hurts and my whole body is just so light and tired!"
"You are allowed to feel sick, Tails! Everyone does! I do too!" Sonic raises his voice too to match, flapping his hands up and down, his body slightly overwhelmed with it all. He holds a soft, steady gaze still, but everything is coming down. "And I did notice that you haven't done much. We all have those weeks where we do nothing. It's normal. You hear me!?"
"I should be better than this!"
"Why!?" Sonic raises his voice again, clenching his hands and digging into the side of his head. Before seeing the slight fear in his little brother's eyes. Clasping his hands and arms to his body to make himself seem small.
Look at you, Sonic! Always, ALWAYS scaring the poor kit away! What kind of brother are you!?
A quieter bang echoes in the house from the thunder, but this time, neither of them flinched. Sonic tries to take deep breaths, trying to stay strong. Trying to be the caring big brother that he is. Trying, trying.
Tears begin to slide down his cheeks with a quivering lip, trying to wipe the concern away. "Sorry. I'm sorry. But why? Why do you feel like you should be better than this?"
Tails stood there in shock, his two tails that would normally swish side by side now lay still. His big brother never ever cries. He had always pushed complicated emotions to the side, always moving on and never processing things. This. This, was new.
"I-I uh..." Speechless. And shaken up. His body trembling, crossed arms as if to comfort himself. Shifting awkwardly from side to side. "I don't know," he then just says it and looks away, shoulders tense.
"What do you mean by 'I don't know'!? You're the only person who knows exactly why. I can't exactly read your thoughts, can I!?" Sonic bites back, stomping his shoe to release the anger flowing in his veins.
"Please don't lie to me. I just want you to be honest about your feelings, that's all. I won't judge or hurt you, I swear to Chaos."
"Well, what about you? You literally had to deal with the whole virus situation and also being locked up in prison and seeing those hallucinations for half a year," Tails made a point, biting his lips ever so slightly. A bad habit that never seemed to go away.
Though what he is saying is true - everything that has happened has left quite a mark on Sonic - he already had the help and support. Mainly cause he wasn't such a good masker as he hoped to be, and Tails could annoyingly see the tiny details that most people would ignore. Now it was the kit's turn.
Putting his hands together, Sonic took a rather calm tone to avoid yelling and scaring the fox away again, "I know I had to deal with some pretty traumatic things. And yeah, maybe I am still being affected by it. But, you have already been helping me with it all so much." He then starts to make a list of things, counting on his fingers to further emphasize. "Checking on me before bedtime, making sure that I actually ate, giving me so many hugs, comforting me during my PTSD episodes-"
"But you have helped me since the day you looked at me! You have done way more than enough. I-I should be helping you more anyway," Tails snaps, pointing a finger towards his big brother.
"I don't think that's how relationships work, Tails. All I am saying is that today is your day to be received in comfort. Just look at yourself. You look and sound so sick. Poor thing."
"I don't think you get what I am trying to say."
Sonic rolls his eyes with a slight groan. "Oh, I know. Do you think that you haven't done enough? Well, let me make it clear - you have. And you gotta remember that you are still just a kid."
"I'm fourteen!" Tails exclaims, throwing his hands out and pacing to the other side of the wall in the hallway. "That's practically adult age."
Face palm right there and then. "You're acting like you are some kind of machine that can run under 3 hours of sleep, cups of coffee and determination, despite the turmoil and illness in you," Sonic raises an eyebrow, plauged with a smirk. "Oh, silly me, cause you are," he laughed quietly, expecting a comment back. All he got was nothing in return. Maybe the joke wasn't as funny as he rehearsed it in his head. Or maybe it was the wrong time, the wrong place.
Sonic will never get how much he needs me. And how much he has done for me. How-oh how can I ever repay him?
The kit then stomps his feet, making a tight groan before hand flapping emotions that were piling up on top of each other. As if he were building the highest mountain while sailing in his own storm. Sonic slightly flinched at the noise, never hating it, just how unexpected and loud it was. Words are really hard for him.
"You-- you! You don't get it! Do you!?" Tails exclaims, waving his hands in a dramatic motion. "Do you, do you not see me as a burden? Because I can reassure you, because if you truly, honestly don't, you are one blind hedgehog."
"No! No! I never did and never will. We've talked about this, pal." He started to pace back and forth, shaking his head in ultimate guilt that was bottled up in his chest. After all these years of teaching him that he deserved basic needs, of reassuring him of his worth and praising him for his accomplishments, it still wasn't enough to click into his head.
That maybe, just maybe, in the slightest - that he was good enough? That his love wasn't something to earn? Was it always given with open arms?
What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong!?
Tails was about to turn a head to go back on his little mission of burning himself out until midnight in his workshop when Sonic sped up to the other side of him and blocked the hallway with his hands gripping the walls on each side. "Tails, are you hearing yourself!? How many times do I have to tell you before it gets glued to your head!? You. Are. Not. A. Burden." Tears once agan well in his eyes. Gosh damnit.
But all the fox replied was with a frown, "Ugh! But clearly I am when I haven't done anything important-!"
"If you so haven't, then explain to me why you look so burnt out, huh!?"
He glances away quickly with crossed arms, the headache intensifying itself. He blinks a couple of times, trying to keep his vision from blurring. From fainting again or crying.
Silence falls in the air, except for the fast foot tapping of Sonic's and the feelings heard so loud in little to no words. Trying to blink back the tears and shove the sickness down his throat. Slightly rubbing his arm that's still crossed.
How can I explain to him!? It's complicated!? I don't even have the words for it. Ugh! No, Sonic already has enough to worry about. All I do is make things worse. Always, always, always.
Sonic looked towards his little brother and sniffled a cry as he reached to hold both of his hands. "Tails. Listen to me for just one moment, ok bud?" He gently lifted his chin, the two looking into each other's souls.
"I love you. I love you very much. You don't have to earn it by always proving your worth, or building the best gadget in the world, or even throwing yourself in danger," he started, raising an eyebrow at the last part, which gave Tails a slight chuckle. "We all have our off days. Even the fastest thing alive, surprisingly. And brothers like us - we're supposed to tell each other when we are feeling sick, upset or wanting to murder half of the planet."
"I think wanting to murder you is more of an accurate description."
"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side!" Sonic gives a little jab on the shoulder before rubbing soft circles on his cheeks. "It's ok to need things. Want things. Feel things. It's all part of living. And it never did make you a burden. I love you for all that you are. 'So you gotta stop letting your mind tell you that you are useless, stupid or whatever evil comments it makes. Because it simply isn't true."
He then gives a wink, "Which, if needed, big brother evidence to highly support, credit and encouraged to use," which managed to grow a smile on the kit.
Good, good. You look better with a smile on, kiddo.
Taking a deep breath, Sonic stepped forward and explained, "Ok, what about a tiny bit of a compromise, eh? Let's get you settled on the couch and get on top of that sickness. We can deal with all the emotional baggage afterwards." He then patted his head with a soft smile, Tails looking back to his gentle gaze.
A muttered "Ok fine" was a good enough sign for his big brother to pick up the kit and cradle carry him to the couch. Instantly, the fox made himself comfortable in the position, letting out a soft, tiny yawn. Which made Sonic place a kiss on top of his forehead; he just couldn't resist it.
But anywhere was better than sleeping on the kitchen floor.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
"Sonic~! Your shoe is tapping on my hip again," Tails mumbles with slurred words, his face right now buried on the blue blur's chest. Trying to block out the growing noise from outside. Loud rain. Loud thunder. Totally his favourite weather... (not).
Mainly because he had to endure it. As a young kid, when his mother decided that she had enough of him and kicked him out of the house, he had to survive in the forest, eating nothing but bugs and making tents from giant leaves and wood logs. Thankfully, Tails was a genius.
But in the winter, he had to sleep through the storms. Bang after bang. His yellow-orange fur getting soaked. And being sensitive to noise certainly didn't help. Now, it was like a reminder of what he had to go through at such a young age.
Rubbing his back, Sonic clumsily shifted his position on the red couch so his left leg was hanging on the side to do his leg kicking fidgeting. "S'rry, kiddo. I keep on doing that, do I?" A nod from him was the perfect answer.
Even while holding him in this warm cuddle, with wrapped blankets and the smell of hot chocolate in the air, he could feel the bone-deep exhaustion that lingered from his little brother. And, it wasn't just because he was sick. Though his breathing was still squeaky and shallow, it was everything else.
The way Tails clutched Sonic a little bit more tightly than normal. His eyes droopy and sad, with no spark in them. Maybe Tails never will admit it, but it was clear that he was not fine at all.
If only hugs could cure whatever you are feeling, bud. But, if they did, they probably would've worked on you by now, huh?
Quickly, he began to feel a tad uncomfortable due to Tails slipping down. With a light kiss on his chubby cheek, Sonic murmurs, "Just making it more comfy for us, don't worry," and lifts the fox by the armpits, dragging him closer to his chest, Sonic sitting more upright. He then lets go and takes off his gloves, throwing them to the side.
Tails blinks at that action, confuzzled. "There... there was no need to-?"
"Oh, I know," Sonic shrugged, his voice overlapping slightly. He never really understood that someone needs to finish their sentence before putting their own input. He called it just one of his iconic charms. Tails called it a serious problem. Either one works.
After a few seconds, the fox finally processed the cue and also took his gloves off with more grace and placed them on the coffee table next to his half-empty mug. Their paws then intertwined as they held each other, before the fox snuggled his face against Sonic's chest once more.
In Mobian culture, taking off your gloves is a sign of love and trust from the person you trust. Whether it was a partner or family. Well, the two met each other without gloves due to Sonic not being able to afford things at the time and Tails living in the forest obviously just didn't know what they were in the first place.
"Feels nice," Tails admits quietly with a small smile.
"Glad it does. I mean - I am the professional hugger 'round here if anyone didn't let you know before," Sonic replied with a wink, leading the brothers to outburst into a chuckle.
"Oh no! I wasn't informed. But thank you for the heads up."
"Anytime, anytime."
Pressing his face deeper into the affection would have helped a little with the pain of both his sickness and thoughts. But actually kind of made it worse. Somehow, his mind was his biggest enemy.
Oh gosh, I stink. Sonic probably is grossed out by that. Damnit, I owe him something for this. I owe him a lot of things. Look at me, being clingy again. Haven't I learnt my lesson yet?
"Oh, before I forget, take this pill. It will uh, help with the headaches that you've been gettin'," Sonic informs as he sits up straight, letting Tails sit on his lap for the moment as he grabs the hot chocolate and the medicine at hand.
In one sip, Tails devoured it before doing the most adorable sneeze. Soft, innocent, sweet. Tails covers his nose as Sonic mutters a cute "Aww, buddy. Did you just sneeze?"
The fox nods with a slight noise, trying to communicate what he needs, still covering his nose with both paws. Clicking his fingers, he grabs a box and pulls out some tissues. "May I?" He asks, waving the tissue to signal what the silent request is. To make it easier for his little brother to understand.
He nods. Desperately. Sonic reaches the tissue around the nose, Tails letting go as Sonic pinches it, and the fox blows it quietly. A few times, with a slight dabbing before Sonic throws it to the bin. "All done. Problemo solved."
He nods again with a sad noise, rubbing his arm and starting to get off his lap. Sonic blinks, confused. "I uh, Tails? You ok, buddy? Did I do something wrong? Need to talk about what's going on in that big brain of yours?" All he was left with was silence. And rain that gently patted against the windowsill.
"Is your brain telling you bad things again? I swear that it's just the biggest liar, don't you agree?"
Still, nothing.
"Wanna write it on your phone? Or your notebook? I can get it for you if you like. Or is the sickness getting worse?"
Tails shook his head, and his eyes darted anywhere but Sonic, sitting with his legs bent back, fidgeting with one leg as he chewed on the silence.
How hasn't he hated me yet? At all? I'm not ignoring you. Please don't leave. I'll do better. Speaking is hard. I'm weird, I know, I know.
He begins to pull on his big, tall ears from frustration and rocks back and forth. "Don't stress about it. We got all day," Sonic simply just stated, grabbing another blanket from under the couch. The care, the love plastered on his face. Like, Tails was the easiest thing to love.
With a slight stutter, he spoke up, "I--I stink. Badly."
The blue hedgehog turned with a softer smile and nodded quietly. "Yes, but, honestly, I couldn't care less. Especially since you struggle with self-care in times like these. With executive functioning and stuff. Tasks like taking a shower or brushing your fur seem harder to do for you. And I can also relate. Just with different circumstances, but you get the idea." He then continued to set up the blankets to make it more cozy for them.
Leaving Tails stunned. Shocked. Blink. Blink. Blink. Breathing in deep waters. Barely.
"No, no, that's not what you're meant to say. That's not what you're s'ppose to say!"
"Really? I thought that it made sense. Well, to me anyway. If you don't believe so, I can always word it differently. A-?"
Banging his head on the couch, Tails begins to cry and make loud, groaning noises. "You're supposed to yell and leave and say that, s-say that I owe you something!" His hands shake, burying his face into his paws, his claws digging the sides of his eyes, "I'm sorry that I am like this. S'rry that I am so difficult and clingy and annoying and too much yet still never enough!"
"I'm so sorry that I get sick all the time and you have to put up with it."
"I'm sorry that I love snuggles and kisses and headpats and lying next to your bed like a freaking baby."
"I'm sorry that I stim and sometimes can't talk and don't understand words and cues."
"I'm sorry that you have to love me. That you have to give up your time, your love for me."
And that. That. Broke Sonic's heart into a million cracks. How? How--who!? Who makes a child believe that love is only granted if you're enough!? Probably his stupid-ass mother or something. His big brother crackles a cry, messing up all of his fur. As he whispered, like only Tails and the heavens could only hear it:
"And I'm sorry that you grew up to feel that way. Because god damnit Miles!" Sonic never liked to use his first name but, but it was the only way to get him to listen at this point. "No, you don't get to apologize for who you are! I love you for who you are, even if it's disgusting, messy or painful! Because I will still give you food, make sure that you are ok and provide you with any hugs you want. I will stay and never leave, no matter what! And this!? This is the truth that your brain must face!"
Tails rubbed his arm, gulping as he continued to listen, his eyes widened. These words. Of something precious.
Without a single ounce of hesitation, Sonic hugged his little brother and squeezed him tight, breaking down those walls as a soft cry collapsed onto his chest. "You are loved, little one. You are loved. As long as you are with me, and even when you walk upon this world, you are loved."
I am...
...loved?
I am loved?
Sonic pulls back ever so carefully to wipe a tear out of sight with a broken grin. "You had to go through so many things in your life that no child should have. Yes, you are still a kid. Fourteen isn't adult," he jokes before snapping back into loving, serious mode. "You had to go through living hell with you-know-who, deal with all sorts of danger and the war? Kid, you've gotta slap yourself some slack! I would be concerned if you were perfectly fine to be honest."
Tails nods and shrugs slightly, stating, "I just thought that I would be better now. Grown up from all of that. Braver, stronger."
"No, you little squirt," Sonic chuckled as he ruffled his bangs with the same soft smile, "You are brave for overcoming everything and having the courage to never give up. You are strong for always always pushing through without letting anyone put you down. But most importantly? You are kind."
The kit nods sheepishly as he fidgets with his paws. "Yeah, well, that's all I really wanted to be. Kind."
"And I think personally, you have succeeded." He then gently pulls him back into a snuggle, Tails burying his head onto his chest like always, the trans scars on Sonic hidden. "You are so damn kind, a little too kind for this world," he continued, lifting his leg up and down as Tails sat, making a soothing, bouncing rhythm.
"You could have been the greatest mastermind villain. You could have, I don't know, um... torn this world apart until everyone understood their mistake. But no. No, no, no. Even after you-know-who, those pesky bullies, Eggman and every other bad person, you still chose kindness. And that, little bro, is so incredible."
He then planted a soft kiss on his forehead, making his ocean blue eyes gaze upon Sonic's green emerald eyes. "But sometimes, its ok to give a little bit of kindness to yourself as well. Because you deserve all the love. And I'm here to help you love yourself more and more."
Gosh, Sonic, that sounded way too cheesy. OMG, no. That was dead-ass cringe! Who are you again? He's probably rolling his eyes at me like an annoying teenager, which honestly? I don't blame him. I'm rolling my eyes at myself here.
A squeaky cough blurted out, Tails sniffling, a little gloss in his eyes from overwhelming tears and sickness. Sonic smiles, curls more softly as he gently hugs him tighter, allowing his head to be turned to the side. Goosebumps traced on his fur, the little shivers against the blue hedgehog's body giving signs.
Making little noises again, Sonic's ears twitched and gave another kiss to the side of his ear. Wrapping both of them with the blankets, trying to cozy up a little as the rain continued to downpour silently outside.
"Mhmmmm. I feel sick. No, I do feel sick. I am sick."
"Awwww. It's okay, buddy. Big bro's got you."
Maybe I am loved just for the way I am.