Work Text:
O.P’s POV (3rd person)
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If Optimus Prime had been asked to identify the exact moment things began to go wrong, he would have pointed to a Tuesday afternoon.
Not a battle. Not a Decepticon attack. Nor an ancient Cybertronian artifact.
A Tuesday.
A completely ordinary Tuesday.
The new human had arrived at the base shortly after noon.
His name was Evan Parker, a mechanic and engineer recommended by one of Noah's contacts. According to the information Optimus had received, Evan specialized in advanced machinery, robotics, and repair work. Given the increasingly complicated state of Autobot equipment and the fact that Cybertronian technology had a concerning tendency to explode when improperly maintained, additional assistance was welcome.
Optimus had approved the arrangement immediately. At the time, it seemed like an excellent decision.
Now he was less certain.
Though admittedly, not for the reasons he originally expected.
"Evan Parker?" Noah had asked as a truck pulled up near the main work area.
The human stepped out carrying an absurd amount of equipment. He looked young, energetic, and entirely too cheerful for someone about to spend his day surrounded by giant alien robots.
"That's me."
"You brought all that?"
Evan glanced down at the various toolboxes.
"What? You said the clients were big."
Noah laughed.
Nearby, Optimus observed the interaction while discussing a patrol schedule with Bumblebee. The new mechanic appeared competent. More importantly, he did not seem intimidated by the Autobots.
That was unusual. Most humans required at least a short adjustment period. Evan, apparently, had skipped that step entirely.
A few minutes later, Noah introduced him to the others. Hound immediately liked him. That should have been Optimus's first warning.
"Anybody who willingly carries that many tools is alright in my book."
"That might be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
Drift nodded politely.
Crosshairs looked disappointed.
"You seem normal."
"What does that mean?"
"It means he's disappointed."
"Ah."
Crosshairs sighed.
"I hate when people understand me."
The human laughed. Optimus found himself mildly amused. Everything seemed to be progressing well.
Then something unexpected happened.
"(Y/N)!"
The familiar voice caught his attention immediately.
Optimus turned toward the sound. (Y/N) was walking across the base carrying a stack of papers and looked up as Noah waved her over.
For reasons Optimus had never fully examined, he always seemed to notice her immediately. Perhaps because she was often at the center of whatever chaos happened to be occurring.
It was a reasonable explanation.
Probably.
"(Y/N)," Noah called. "This is Evan."
The two humans looked at each other. A brief silence followed. Then Evan noticed the stack of papers in her arms.
"Oh no."
(Y/N) looked down.
"Oh no."
They stared at each other. Then both groaned simultaneously. Evan pointed dramatically.
"Engineering student?"
She pointed right back.
"Engineering student."
The human mechanic looked genuinely horrified.
"When did you sleep last?"
"When did you sleep last?"
"Oh my God."
"I know."
The entire surrounding group watched in confusion as the two immediately launched into a conversation about deadlines, professors, caffeine consumption, and what sounded like psychological warfare disguised as homework assignments.
Within two minutes they were laughing.
Within five, they were comparing stories.
Within ten, it was as though they'd known each other for years.
Optimus found himself watching the interaction. Not for any particular reason. It was simply pleasant to see (Y/N) enjoying herself.
She had endured a great deal since arriving in this universe. Watching her laugh was always welcome.
Nothing unusual about that. Nothing at all.
Eventually Bumblebee nudged his arm. Optimus looked down. The yellow Autobot's optics flickered toward the two humans. Then back toward Optimus. Then toward the humans again.
Optimus raised an optic ridge.
"What?"
Bumblebee's radio crackled.
"Looks like…they get along."
Optimus followed his gaze.
Evan had just said something that caused (Y/N) to laugh loudly enough for several people to turn and look.
A small smile appeared on Optimus's faceplate.
"Indeed."
The response came easily. Because it was true.
It was good.
She deserved friends. She deserved people her own age to talk to.
People who understood human experiences better than a group of alien robots could.
There was no reason for concern. No reason at all.
As Optimus turned away to continue his work, he failed to notice the look Bumblebee gave him.
A look that can only be described as:
"Uh-oh."
And somewhere nearby, Crosshairs had begun paying attention.
That was going to become a problem.
~
If Optimus had been asked three days later whether anything unusual had occurred since Evan Parker's arrival, he would have responded with a simple and honest answer.
No.
After all, Evan was doing exactly what he had been brought there to do.
He repaired equipment. He assisted with maintenance. He helped Noah organize several projects that had been awaiting attention for months.
From a practical standpoint, the human was proving to be an excellent addition to the base.
There was absolutely nothing unusual about any of that. Unfortunately, Optimus was beginning to notice something else.
Specifically, that Evan and (Y/N) appeared to have become friends at a speed that was honestly a little concerning.
Not concerning in a dangerous way.
Just…impressively fast.
Everywhere Optimus looked, the two humans seemed to be talking.
If they were repairing equipment, they were talking.
If they were organizing supplies, they were talking.
If they were carrying tools across the base, they were talking.
At one point Optimus had observed them standing beside a toolbox for nearly twenty minutes while discussing something involving alternate dimensions, theoretical physics, and a television series that apparently contained over thirty seasons.
He still had no idea what the conversation had actually been about. And somehow neither did Bumblebee.
The yellow Autobot was standing beside Optimus during one particular afternoon while both of them watched the two humans become increasingly animated during a discussion.
"What exactly are…they doing?" Bumblebee's radio asked.
Optimus observed the scene.
(Y/N) was sitting on a workbench while Evan enthusiastically gestured with a wrench. A notebook was spread across the table between them, covered in sketches, equations, and what looked suspiciously like drawings of Cybertronian technology.
For some reason, both humans appeared thrilled.
"I am uncertain."
Bumblebee's radio crackled again.
"They've been doing this for an hour."
Optimus glanced toward them once more. The observation was accurate. They had. Not that he'd been keeping track.
Of course not…That would be strange.
Meanwhile, Evan was leaning over the notebook with the excitement of a child discovering treasure.
"Wait, wait, wait."
His voice carried across the base.
"You're seriously from another dimension?"
(Y/N) laughed.
"Yep."
"No. I know you told me that. I'm just not over it."
"Most people aren't."
"You literally came from a universe where the Autobots were movies?"
"Movies, shows, comics, books – basically everything."
Evan looked horrified.
"Do you know how many scientific laws that breaks?"
"All of them."
"That's awesome."
"What can I say? I’m a rule breaker…”
The grin on Evan's face widened.
"If somebody told me there was a universe out there where giant alien robots were fictional characters, I'd lose my mind."
(Y/N) pointed at him.
"See? That's exactly what happened to me."
"I would've been asking so many questions."
"I did ask questions."
"Did you ask Optimus questions?"
A pause.
Then:
"...Several."
"How many is several?"
(Y/N) immediately looked guilty. Evan burst out laughing.
"Oh my God, it was a lot, wasn't it?"
"A little."
"It was a lot."
"It was a lot."
The two humans laughed.
Again.
For some reason, Optimus found himself smiling slightly. Their friendship genuinely appeared to make (Y/N) happy. That was important. She deserved that happiness.
Especially after everything she had endured since arriving in this universe. The thought should have been the end of it. Instead, Optimus found his attention lingering on the conversation.
Particularly when Evan asked:
"So what was the weirdest part about getting stuck here?"
"Oh, that's easy."
"What?"
(Y/N) pointed across the base.
"Realizing Optimus wasn't just a fictional character anymore."
Across the yard, Optimus froze. Just for a fraction of a second. Then he immediately continued reviewing the datapad in his hands.
Because that was clearly the appropriate response. Unfortunately, Bumblebee noticed. The yellow Autobot slowly turned toward him. Optimus pretended not to see. It was a difficult task when Bumblebee's optics were practically glowing.
"Do not."
Bumblebee hadn't even done anything yet. The radio immediately crackled.
"Do not what?"
"I know that tone."
"What tone?"
"That one."
Bumblebee's radio responded with an innocent whistle.
Optimus sighed.
Nearby, Evan and (Y/N) continued talking. The conversation had shifted from alternate universes to college life now. Both appeared equally horrified by each other's stories.
Apparently engineers experienced a truly alarming amount of suffering.
Interesting. And completely irrelevant.
And yet...Optimus found himself glancing back toward them several more times throughout the afternoon.
Not because anything was wrong, or he was concerned. Simply because they seemed to enjoy each other's company.
That was all.
Nothing more. Nothing worth thinking about.
Unfortunately, from the opposite side of the base, another Autobot had begun paying attention.
A green Autobot. One with a deeply unfortunate sense of humor.
Crosshairs leaned against a nearby workbench and watched Optimus look toward the two humans for what was approximately the seventh time in ten minutes.
Then he smirked.
A very dangerous smirk.
"Oh," Crosshairs muttered to himself.
Across the yard, Bumblebee slowly noticed the expression. Then noticed where Crosshairs was looking.
A moment later, the yellow Autobot's radio played a tiny, ominous sound effect. The equivalent of a villain appearing in a movie.
Neither Optimus nor (Y/N) noticed.
Unfortunately...Crosshairs had just discovered something incredibly entertaining.
And that was about to become everyone's problem.
~
He is not jealous.
The fact that Optimus found himself repeating this conclusion several times throughout the day was entirely unrelated.
It had been nearly a week since Evan's arrival, and the scientist had settled into life at the base remarkably well. Predictably, he and (Y/N) had become close friends. They spoke often, worked together frequently, and somehow always seemed to end up in the same place at the same time.
This was perfectly reasonable. They were around the same age and liked technical stuff.Both enjoyed discussing concepts that frequently left everyone else confused.
There was nothing unusual about their friendship.
Absolutely nothing.
Which was why Optimus was not entirely certain why he kept noticing it. He was currently reviewing patrol routes when laughter drifted across the garage.
Without thinking, he glanced up.
Across the room, (Y/N) was standing beside one of the maintenance bays while Evan explained something using a marker and a whiteboard. Judging by the bizarre collection of diagrams covering the board, the two were attempting to answer a question that absolutely nobody had asked.
Something involving alternate dimensions, temporal paradoxes, and whether a Transformer could theoretically become famous in a universe where Transformers did not exist.
Optimus was not following the conversation. Yet somehow the pair appeared fascinated.
"What do you mean Bumblebee would probably become a celebrity?" Evan asked.
"He absolutely would!"
"Why?"
"Have you met him?"
"Good point."
"Thank you."
"Counterargument."
"Oh no."
"Bumblebee already acts like a celebrity."
(Y/N) immediately lost the argument because she started laughing too hard to speak. Evan looked immensely pleased with himself.
Optimus returned his attention to the datapad. Though approximately seven seconds later, he looked back.
Not intentionally. Merely...checking.
The conversation appeared to have continued. Nothing noteworthy had occurred.
Good.
Satisfied, Optimus resumed reviewing reports. A few minutes later, Hound walked into the garage carrying enough equipment to start a small war.
"Whatcha doin', Prime?"
"I am reviewing patrol schedules."
Hound nodded.
Then followed Optimus's line of sight. Then looked back at him. Then looked toward Evan and (Y/N). And then finally back at Optimus.
A brief smile appeared.
"Oh."
Optimus immediately disliked that reaction.
"What?"
"Nothing."
The answer sounded suspiciously familiar. Across the room, Crosshairs walked by.
He took one look at Hound and Optimus. Then toward the two humans.
A grin slowly appeared.
"Oh, you've figured it out Hound."
"I figured something out."
Optimus looked up.
"What are you talking about?"
Crosshairs folded his arms. "Nothing."
The smile on his face suggested otherwise.
Nearby, Bumblebee rolled into the garage. The moment he noticed the situation, his radio played a dramatic soap-opera sound effect.
Optimus sighed.
"Bee."
The music stopped instantly. Then resumed at half volume. The yellow Autobot wasn't even trying anymore.
Across the room, Evan had apparently said something amusing because (Y/N) leaned forward laughing. The scientist looked enormously proud of himself.
For some reason, Optimus found himself studying the interaction.
It was good to see her happy. That was all. A perfectly simple and reasonable observation. No different from noticing the weather. Or base operations.
Or–
"Wow."
Crosshairs's voice interrupted his thoughts.
Optimus closed his optics.
"What now?"
"They're talking again."
"They have been talking for most of the morning."
Crosshairs looked delighted.
"Oh, so you've noticed."
There was a brief silence. Then Hound burst out laughing.
Optimus immediately knew he'd made a mistake.
A terrible mistake.
Crosshairs pointed dramatically.
"There it is."
"There is what?"
"The observing."
"I am not observing."
"You literally just tracked their conversation over the span of an entire morning."
Optimus frowned.
"They have simply remained within my field of vision."
Hound nearly dropped the equipment he was carrying. Even Bumblebee's radio crackled with suppressed laughter.
For reasons Optimus could not entirely identify, the reaction felt deeply unfair.
He was a leader. A leader should remain aware of his surroundings. Monitoring base personnel was part of that responsibility.
Surely…Probably.
Across the room, Evan and (Y/N) suddenly started walking toward another work area. Without realizing it, Optimus's gaze followed them.
The scientist was saying something.
(Y/N) laughed.
Again.
The sight produced a strange feeling in his chest.
Not unpleasant.
Just...Odd.
Before he could analyze it further, Crosshairs spoke.
"Oh look."
Optimus already knew he wasn't going to like this.
"What?"
Crosshairs gestured toward the departing pair.
"It's (Y/N)'s friend."
The emphasis on friend was deeply suspicious.
"They are relocating their work."
"Absolutely."
"They are."
"Mhm."
Optimus turned away before Crosshairs could continue. Because the conversation was becoming increasingly ridiculous.
And because he was not jealous.
Not even slightly. Not in the smallest possible way.
Unfortunately, from somewhere behind him, Bumblebee's radio suddenly played the first few notes of a romantic song.
Followed immediately by Crosshairs' laughter.
Optimus had a very unpleasant feeling that things were about to get significantly worse.
~
The true disaster occurred on a Thursday afternoon.
And it involved a hand.
A completely innocent hand. Placed on a completely innocent shoulder.
Which, in Optimus's defense, looked significantly less innocent than it probably was.
The afternoon had begun normally enough. Several Autobots were undergoing maintenance checks while Noah and Evan worked on upgrading one of the repair stations. Optimus had spent most of the day reviewing reports and monitoring operations around the base.
A productive day and peaceful day. A day that should have remained uneventful.
Unfortunately, Optimus made the mistake of looking up. Across the base, (Y/N) and Evan were once again working together.
Not unusual.
At this point, Optimus had become accustomed to seeing them talking. Whether they were discussing engineering concepts, comparing notes, debating fictional universes, or complaining about college professors, the two humans always seemed to find something to discuss.
Today, however, they appeared to be repairing a damaged scanner array. Or at least attempting to. The scanner seemed to be winning.
"I'm telling you, that's the wrong wire."
"It's literally labeled."
"Labels can lie."
"(Y/N), that's not how labels work."
"You don't know that."
"I do know that."
"Prove it."
Evan stared at her for a moment before laughing.
"Oh my God, you're impossible."
"Thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"I choose to believe it was."
Optimus found himself suppressing the faintest hint of amusement.
The exchange was harmless. That was all.
Nothing–
Then Evan laughed at something she said and casually placed a hand on her shoulder. Just for a second. A brief, friendly gesture.
Entirely normal by human standards. But the effect on Optimus was immediate. His thoughts stopped briefly as if his system was just rebooted.
It wasn’t a long pause…Just long enough for one very concerning thought to appear:
Why is his hand there?
The question arrived without warning. Optimus frowned slightly. There was no reason for concern.
Humans were a physically expressive species. Throughout his time on Earth, he had observed countless gestures of casual affection, reassurance, and friendship.
This was one of them.
Obviously. Without question.
And yet...
His optics remained fixed on the interaction.
There is no reason for his hand to be there.
The thought appeared before he could stop it. Optimus immediately disliked the thought. Mostly because it sounded suspiciously irrational. In fact, it sounded exactly like something Crosshairs would say.
Nearby, Bumblebee slowly rolled to a stop. The yellow Autobot followed Optimus's gaze. Then looked toward Evan. Then toward the hand still resting on (Y/N)'s shoulder. Then back toward Optimus.
There was a long pause. Then Bumblebee's radio played a tiny alarm sound.
Optimus closed his optics.
"No."
The radio crackled.
"What?"
"You know what."
A suspiciously innocent whistle played through Bumblebee's speakers.
Across the yard, Evan had already removed his hand and resumed working on the scanner. The interaction had lasted perhaps two seconds. Two completely harmless seconds. And yet something still felt strange.
Before Optimus could identify exactly why, another voice appeared behind him. A voice he had learned to fear.
"Well."
Optimus immediately knew.
Crosshairs.
Without even turning around, Optimus considered walking away. Unfortunately, that would be perceived as an admission of guilt. A concept which made no sense because there was no guilt to admit.
He is not jealous.
Not even slightly.
Crosshairs stepped beside him and followed his line of sight. The silence that followed was devastating. Because Crosshairs saw everything.
The shoulder touch. The staring. The immediate attention.
All of it.
Optimus sighed.
"What?"
Crosshairs pointed slowly toward the two humans.
"Oh nothing."
The grin on his face suggested otherwise.
Across the yard, (Y/N) was laughing again. Evan was saying something amusing and everything appeared perfectly normal.
Yet Crosshairs was still smiling. Still watching. Still plotting.
Then Hound arrived.
Unfortunately.
The larger Autobot took one look at Crosshairs and Optimus.
Then the humans. Then back to Optimus.
A pause followed.
Several painful seconds passed. Then Hound's eyes widened.
"Oh."
No.
Not him too.
Anyone but him.
Crosshairs looked delighted.
"Look who figured it out."
"I did."
Optimus pinched the bridge of his nose. Or at least the Cybertronian equivalent. Neither helped.
Meanwhile Bumblebee's radio began playing dramatic soap-opera music. The timing was not encouraging.
Across the yard, completely unaware of the chaos they had accidentally created, Evan and (Y/N) continued talking and laughing as they worked.
And for the first time since this entire situation began, Optimus had the uncomfortable realization that perhaps the others were seeing something he wasn't.
Though it was a ridiculous thought. One he immediately dismissed.
After all, he was merely observing.
Unfortunately, nobody else seemed to believe that anymore.
~
By the following day, Optimus had reached a conclusion.
It was a very good conclusion. A logical conclusion. And a perfectly reasonable conclusion.
The conclusion was as follows:
He is not jealous!
The fact that he had spent the last twenty minutes watching Evan and (Y/N) work together was entirely unrelated. As was the fact that he could currently identify their exact location from anywhere on the base.
That information was simply useful to know.
As a leader. For leadership reasons.
Nothing more.
Unfortunately, not everyone shared his assessment.
"Prime."
Optimus immediately recognized Hound's voice. He continued reviewing the datapad in his hands.
"Yes?"
"You're staring."
"No, I am reading."
"You're reading upside down."
Optimus looked down. The datapad was, in fact, upside down.
This was mildly inconvenient. Without comment, he rotated it.
From somewhere behind him came the sound of Hound struggling not to laugh.
A moment later, Bumblebee rolled into the area. The yellow Autobot followed Optimus's line of sight and immediately spotted Evan and (Y/N) near one of the repair stations.
The two humans were currently bent over a large worktable discussing something technical. Or at least it appeared technical.
Much of the conversation consisted of waving tools around while speaking far too quickly. They seemed to be having an excellent time.
Bumblebee's radio emitted a knowing little whistle.
Optimus sighed.
"Do not."
The whistle continued.
Nearby, Hound folded his arms. "You know, this is getting kinda impressive."
"What is?"
"The commitment."
Optimus looked up from the datapad.
"The commitment to what?"
"Denial."
Before Hound could elaborate, another familiar voice joined the conversation.
Crosshairs.
Unfortunately.
"Oh good," the green Autobot said as he approached. "We're having this conversation without me?"
"We weren't having a conversation."
Crosshairs looked delighted.
"That's exactly what somebody having this conversation would say."
At this point, Optimus was beginning to miss Decepticons. At least Decepticons were straightforward. They tried to destroy things.
These conversations were significantly more difficult to navigate.
Across the yard, (Y/N) laughed again. For reasons Optimus chose not to examine, his attention immediately shifted toward the sound.
The two humans appeared to be repairing some kind of damaged sensor array. Evan was enthusiastically explaining something with his hands while (Y/N) attempted – and failed – to stop laughing.
The interaction seemed completely harmless. Because it was.
Obviously.
Which was why Hound's next question caught him completely off guard. "So what's the plan?"
Optimus frowned.
"The plan?"
"Yeah."
"There is no plan."
Crosshairs snorted.
"That's a terrible plan."
Optimus closed the datapad.
"What are you talking about?"
The grin Crosshairs gave him was infuriating.
"Oh, come on."
"We're all adults here," Hound added.
“…That evaluation is debatable."
"Fair."
Bumblebee's radio played a short clip of applause.
Traitor.
The group fell silent for a moment as Evan and (Y/N) continued working. Then Crosshairs glanced toward the two humans and grinned.
"Oh look."
Optimus immediately knew he wasn't going to like this.
"What?"
"Once again, It's (Y/N)'s friend..."
And once again, the emphasis on the word friend carried entirely too much meaning. Optimus pretended not to notice.
"They are working."
"Together."
"Yes."
"For the fifth day in a row."
"Crosshairs."
"..Just observing."
The response was so immediate that Bumblebee's radio exploded into laughter. Hound nearly choked. Even Drift, who had apparently appeared without anyone noticing, looked suspiciously amused.
Optimus stared. Crosshairs stared back.
Neither looked away.
Finally, Drift spoke.
"Perhaps we should leave Prime in peace."
For one glorious moment, Optimus thought someone had finally chosen reason.
Then Drift continued. "He is clearly…contemplating something."
Never mind.
Apparently they were all against him.
Across the yard, Evan and (Y/N) began gathering tools. The conversation appeared to be wrapping up. A moment later, the two started walking toward the main building together.
Naturally, Crosshairs noticed.
Of course he did. The man had the instincts of a shark detecting blood in the water.
"Oh wow."
Nobody responded.
"They're leaving together now."
Still nothing.
"Interesting."
Optimus tried very hard not to react. He was failing.
"Crosshairs."
"Yes?"
"Stop."
"But…I'm merely observing."
Bumblebee actually fell over. Literally.
The yellow Autobot leaned against a nearby toolbox while hysterical laughter blasted through his speakers.
Hound immediately lost control too. Even Drift looked like he was fighting a smile.
Crosshairs looked like he'd just won the lottery.
"There it is."
"There is what?"
"The most jealous sentence I've ever heard."
"I am not jealous."
The answer came immediately. Which, unfortunately, seemed to make everything worse. Because now nobody was even trying to hide their reactions.
They all laughed and Crosshairs looked seconds away from ascending to a higher plane of existence.
And as Optimus stood there, watching the group completely fail to take him seriously, he found himself wondering how exactly the situation had spiraled this far out of control.
Unfortunately, the answer was currently walking across the yard beside Evan.
~
The next day, he was standing in the garage pretending to review a datapad while everything slowly fell apart around him.
The day had been proceeding normally enough. Evan and (Y/N) had spent most of the morning working together, which was hardly surprising anymore. At this point, seeing the two of them talking, laughing, and comparing notes on various projects had become a regular part of life at the base.
Not that Optimus paid special attention to it.
Of course not. That would have been ridiculous. He simply happened to notice.
Very frequently.
Across the garage, Evan was currently helping (Y/N) troubleshoot some maintenance issue involving a damaged sensor relay. Judging by the increasingly animated conversation, the relay itself had long since ceased being the topic of discussion.
"Okay, but hear me out," (Y/N) was saying.
"Oh no."
"No, listen."
"That sentence has never led to anything good."
"What if somebody used dimensional technology to create a giant interdimensional cafeteria?"
Evan stared.
Then slowly lowered his wrench.
"...What?"
(Y/N) pointed dramatically.
"Imagine it. Every universe. Every timeline. Every version of Earth."
"That's your plan?"
"Yes."
"Your first use of unlimited dimensional technology is food?"
"It is an excellent use of dimensional technology."
Across the room, Evan burst out laughing.
The sound immediately caught Optimus's attention. Not because of Evan. Because of her.
The way she laughed along with him. The way her entire face lit up when she was having fun. The way she seemed so comfortable around him.
A strange feeling settled in Optimus's chest. Before he could examine it, Crosshairs appeared. The green Autobot leaned against a nearby support beam and followed Optimus's gaze.
Then he looked toward Evan. Then toward (Y/N). Then back toward Optimus.
The grin that appeared on his face was deeply troubling.
"Oh wow."
Optimus didn't look away from the datapad. "What?"
"They're talking again."
"They work together."
"Sure."
There it was again. That awful tone.
The one that suggested Crosshairs thought he understood something.
A few feet away, Bumblebee rolled into the garage and immediately noticed the situation. The yellow Autobot's optics brightened.Then his radio played a tiny soap-opera sound effect.
Crosshairs immediately started laughing.
Optimus once again had a feeling he was being mocked. The feeling grew stronger when Hound walked in, took one look at everyone's expressions, and immediately groaned.
"Oh no."
"See?" Crosshairs said. "Hound gets it."
Optimus closed his optics. "This conversation serves no purpose."
"But it does serve a lot of purposes."
"What purposes?"
Crosshairs pointed toward the humans.
"The educational kind."
Before Optimus could respond, the conversation across the garage shifted. Evan stretched and sat down on the edge of a workbench.
"You know what?"
"What?" (Y/N) asked.
"I'm starving."
"Same."
"I literally skipped breakfast."
"That's a terrible idea."
"I was busy."
"So was I."
Evan pointed accusingly.
"That's because engineers have terrible survival instincts."
"True."
"Extremely true."
A brief silence followed. Then Evan brightened.
"Hey, wanna grab lunch?"
The garage became suspiciously quiet. Like a room full of people collectively sensing the arrival of drama.
(Y/N) thought for a moment.
"Sure."
Crosshairs immediately looked between Optimus and Bumblebee. Bumblebee's radio emitted a tiny drumroll.
Optimus ignored both of them. Or at least attempted to.
"Where should we go?" Evan asked.
(Y/N) snapped her fingers.
"Oh! We could go to Bella Napoli."
Evan's entire face lit up. "Oh my God, YES."
(Y/N) blinked. "What?"
"No seriously!"
He sat up straighter.
"My boyfriend and I love that place."
Silence. The universe itself appeared to stop.
Across the garage, Bumblebee froze.
Hound froze. Crosshairs froze. Even Drift, who had just entered the room, froze.
Nobody moved and nobidy spoke.
For one beautiful, glorious moment, time itself seemed to hold its breath. Then everything exploded.
"What?" Hound choked.
Bumblebee's radio immediately erupted into hysterical laughter. The sound echoed through the garage loud and unrestrained.
Meanwhile, Evan seemed completely oblivious. He had already pulled out his phone.
"Look!"
(Y/N) leaned closer. The scientist proudly showed her a picture.
"Aww!"
"I know, right?"
"You guys are adorable."
"Thank you."
Across the garage, Crosshairs made a sound suspiciously similar to a dying engine. Not because he was hurt but because he was trying – and failing – not to laugh.
Then he looked directly at Optimus with an evil grin on his face.
"Prime."
"No."
"The man had a boyfriend."
"I am aware."
"The whole time."
"I am aware."
"You spent an entire week–“
"Crosshairs."
"–being jealous of a guy with a boyfriend."
Bumblebee's laughter got louder and Hound stumbled against a toolbox trying to breathe. Even Drift turned away, shoulders subtly shaking.
And for one terrible moment, Optimus finally understood exactly what everyone else had been laughing about for days.
Because now that the misunderstanding had been obliterated...There was only one possible explanation left:
The Autobots had been right.
Across the room, completely oblivious to the destruction they had accidentally caused, Evan and (Y/N) continued discussing lunch plans.
Meanwhile, Crosshairs wiped a tear from his optic.
"You want to know what my favorite part is?"
"I do not."
"The confidence."
Optimus immediately regretted saying anything.
"The confidence to be jealous when there was literally zero competition."
For the first time in a very long while, Optimus Prime seriously considered leaving the planet.
And the worst part was the fact that Crosshairs was now completely vindicated.
For days, the green Autobot had been insisting that something was wrong. For days, he had followed Optimus around making increasingly irritating comments, pointing out every glance, every observation, every moment Optimus happened to notice Evan and (Y/N) talking.
And somehow...He had been right.
The garage remained filled with varying levels of chaos long after Evan and (Y/N) departed for lunch. Bumblebee's speakers continued alternating between laughter and aggressively romantic music while Hound periodically remembered what had happened and started laughing all over again.
At one point Drift simply walked out. Not because he wasn't amused. Because he had apparently decided preserving what remained of Optimus's dignity was a lost cause.
An understandable conclusion.
"I still can't believe it," Hound managed between laughs.
"Neither can I," Crosshairs replied.
Optimus immediately regretted listening.
"The guy had a boyfriend."
"I am aware."
"You didn't know."
"I know now."
Crosshairs looked enormously pleased.
"You know what this means, right?"
Optimus narrowed his optics.
"It means you are incapable of behaving professionally."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
Crosshairs folded his arms. "It means you officially have terrible judgment."
Bumblebee's speakers immediately played a game-show failure sound effect. The betrayal was unbelievable.
Even more unbelievable was the fact that Bumblebee had somehow located an entire library of sounds specifically designed to mock him. The yellow Autobot had been waiting and planning for this moment.
~
Several long hours later, the garage doors slid open.
Every Autobot present turned immediately. Like predators spotting movement. Optimus knew exactly who had returned before he even looked.
(Y/N) and Evan stepped inside carrying takeout bags and drinks, still in the middle of what appeared to be an animated discussion.
"...and that's why Jurassic Park should absolutely count as a horror movie."
"It does not."
"It has dinosaurs eating people!"
"It has adventure."
"It has trauma."
The pair continued walking. Neither noticed the entire garage staring at them.
Yet. The situation somehow became even worse when Evan held up a container.
"Oh! Noah and Mirage wanted fries…or maybe just Noah. I don’t know.”
Hound immediately lost control again. A strangled laugh escaped him before he could stop it causing (Y/N) and Evan to freez. Both humans looked up. Confusion spread across their faces.
“Am I that funny??”
(Y/N)'s gaze moved around the garage.
Drift.
Bumblebee.
Hound.
Crosshairs.
Then finally Optimus.
A suspicious look entered her eyes. The kind of suspicious look someone got when they knew something had happened without them.
"What?"
Nobody answered which was a terrible mistake. Because now she definitely knew something had happened.
"Why is everyone staring?"
Still nobody answered. Crosshairs was visibly vibrating from the effort required not to say anything. Bumblebee immediately played suspicious music.
"Bee."
The music stopped and then resumed quietly.
(Y/N)'s eyes narrowed. "Crosshairs."
"Oh no."
"What happened?"
"Nothing."
"Crosshairs."
"Nothing happened."
The grin on his face completely destroyed any credibility the statement might have had. Across the room, Evan appeared equally confused.
"Did I miss something?"
"Apparently," Noah muttered coming to recive his fries.
The entire garage was hanging by a tiny thread.
Fortunately for Optimus, Drift chose that moment to intervene.
"We were merely discussing work."
Bumblebee's speakers produced a suspicious cough. Clearly nobody believed that explanation.
Least of all (Y/N). Her gaze shifted toward Optimus. For one horrifying second, Optimus feared she might somehow figure everything out.
Instead, she simply smiled. A warm, familiar smile. The same one she always gave him. The sight immediately calmed something in his systems.
And unfortunately... Crosshairs noticed.
Of course he noticed. That man noticed everything.
A smug grin slowly spread across his face. "Prime."
"No."
"I didn't even say anything yet."
"You were about to."
The response came automatically. And the moment the words left his mouth, Optimus realized his mistake.
Bumblebee's speakers erupted with triumphant music.
Crosshairs pointed dramatically. "There!"
(Y/N) blinked.
"There what?"
Crosshairs looked moments away from achieving enlightenment.
"Nothing."
For some reason, that answer only made her more suspicious. Unfortunately for Optimus, he had a feeling this conversation was far from over.
And judging by the mischievous look slowly forming on (Y/N)'s face...She was going to start asking questions.
That was a problem. Because explaining why the entire base was laughing at him would require admitting one very embarrassing truth.
~
Fortunately, a few hours later the laughter died down.
Not completely though.
Crosshairs was still occasionally making strange choking noises whenever he looked in Optimus's direction, and Bumblebee had somehow acquired an entire collection of romantic songs specifically designed to make his life more difficult.
But eventually, the base returned to something resembling normal. The damage, however, had already been done. Because now Optimus knew what the Autobots were picking on him for.
And somehow, that was infinitely more difficult to deal with.
For several hours after the lunch incident, he attempted to focus on work. Unfortunately, concentrating proved challenging when every thought seemed determined to return to the same conclusion.
The problem had never been Evan. The problem was the way Optimus felt whenever he saw (Y/N) with someone else.
Across centuries of war, leadership, sacrifice, and responsibility, there had never been much room for feelings like this.
Yet over the last few years, somehow, without realizing it, she had become one of the most important people in his life.
The thought lingered long after the garage had emptied. Long after the others had returned to their own projects and long after Evan had resumed his work.
By sunset, Optimus found himself standing outside near the edge of the base, staring across the horizon and attempting to sort through thoughts that felt considerably more complicated than they should have. The effort was not going well.
A familiar voice interrupted him.
"There you are."
Immediately, Optimus recognized it.
His spark reacted before his processor did, which was becoming a concerning trend.
He turned.
(Y/N) approached carrying a drink in one hand and a slightly suspicious smile on her face. The smile alone was enough to put him on guard.
"You appear amused."
"Oh, I am."
That was not encouraging…At all.
She stopped beside him and leaned against the railing and for a moment, neither of them spoke. The comfortable silence that settled between them felt familiar. Finally, she glanced sideways at him.
"You know, Crosshairs told me something interesting."
Optimus immediately knew he wasn't going to enjoy whatever came next.
"Did he?"
"Mhm."
Her smile widened slightly.
"He thinks you were jealous."
Optimus kept his optics fixed on the horizon to hide the current emotional damage.
"He is mistaken."
The answer sounded considerably less convincing than he intended. Apparently, she agreed, because she immediately laughed. Just genuine amusement.
"Oh Fearless."
The nickname alone was enough to make his spark stutter slightly.
"He had a boyfriend."
"I am aware."
She laughed again and the sound was warm in his spark.
"He spent half of lunch talking about him."
Optimus wisely chose not to respond. Because there was nothing he could possibly say that would improve the situation. Unfortunately, silence only seemed to confirm everything.
For a few moments, (Y/N) simply watched him.
Then her expression softened.
The teasing remained–
But there was something gentler beneath it now. Something that immediately drew his attention.
"To be fair..." Optimus glanced down.
Her gaze met his. Then she smiled.
"I would've picked you anyway."
The world stopped.
Not literally, but Optimus was no longer entirely convinced that was an important distinction. Every system in his processor appeared to forget its intended purpose simultaneously.
Across countless battles, he had faced threats capable of destroying entire worlds. Yet somehow this single human managed to reduce him to complete silence with one sentence.
The situation felt deeply unfair.
For a moment, neither moved. Neither looked away.
The evening breeze drifted across the base and the sounds of the others faded into the distance. The only thing Optimus could focus on was her.
And the realization that she was looking at him exactly the way he had been trying not to look at her for weeks. Then, to Optimus's complete surprise, she stepped closer.
Not much, but just enough. His spark immediately forgot how to function.
"(Y/N)?"
She smiled innocently.
"What?"
The question was entirely too casual.
"You are planning something again."
"Nope."
The answer came far too quickly. Optimus narrowed his optics.
He knew her. That answer meant yes.
Before he could say anything else, she rose slightly on her toes and pressed a quick kiss against his cheek. AGAIN.
For several seconds, Optimus was reasonably certain his systems had stopped processing information altogether. Just like the last time she pulled this stunt.
When awareness finally returned, he discovered three important things.
First.
(Y/N) was trying very hard not to laugh.
Second.
His spark was behaving very strangely.
And third.
She looked entirely too pleased with herself.
"Fearless?"
Nothing. She bit her lip.
"Optimus?"
Still nothing.
The smile tugging at her lips became increasingly difficult to suppress.
Optimus immediately realized it.
She was enjoying this. That little menace.
Very slowly, he recovered enough to focus on her again. To his credit, only most of his systems had failed.
Not all of them.
And judging by the sudden uncertainty appearing in her expression, she seemed to realize that too.
Interesting. Very interesting.
Well, two can play this game…
Slowly, Optimus leaned down slightly.
Immediately, the confidence she'd been carrying started to crack.
Good.
That seemed fair.
"(Y/N)."
For the first time all evening, she looked nervous.
"...Yeah?"
A faint smile appeared on his faceplate. The kind that promised trouble.
"Again…Careful."
Her eyes widened, and that reaction alone made continuing worthwhile.
"Wh-What?"
Optimus's amusement deepened.
"If you continue doing this..."
He deliberately paused. Watching the blush spread across her face.
"...you may begin to think I enjoy it."
The silence that followed was magnificent. All the confidence disappeared. Every trace of it. Suddenly, she looked exactly the way he'd felt for the last several minutes.
Her face turned completely red.
"Oh my God."
A laugh escaped him before he could stop it. A genuine one…Which was rare. The sound only made her more flustered.
Mission accomplished.
❤️
💙