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Suitcase felt sick.
She never thought she would get seasick, but she felt like throwing up. They had been sailing for a while now, and the whole time Suitcase just stared at the island, slowly getting farther and farther away. She didn’t bring her prosthetics. Knife was taking care of them for WHEN she came back.
She leaned against the railing, looking at the small image of the island in the distance. It was almost nighttime now, and she could barely see it, but she looked anyway.
The light breeze made her hair lightly get in her face. She always liked it short, but she hasn't had time to cut it in a while. Knife said he would do it for her once he got the hang of picking things up. It was below her shoulders now.
What was she gonna do? She lost Knife, her partner, her best friend, her boyfriend, her everything. What would she do without him?
Suitcase feels the tears roll down her face and she doesn’t try to stop them. Everyone else was inside now, what was the point of hiding how she felt? She sat on the floor and rested her head on her knees, crying like she had when she saw him for the last time. He was finally able to touch her.
He had put a hand on her shoulder, it felt cold, but it felt like him. Grounding, safe, comforting, loving. She missed him so much it hurt.
She heard footsteps behind her and turned around. It was OJ.
He was quiet as he sat next to her, holding onto the railings and letting his feet dangle over the edge of the boat. Suitcase looked forward and sniffed. “Hi.” She said quietly.
“Hey.” He answered. “Are you doing ok?”
“No.” She answered. She’d been forcing herself not to sleep out of fear that the nightmares would come back. She knew they would, and she knew that the next morning she would see tentacles that didn’t exist crushing her body.
“Me neither.” He said. “Haven’t slept?”
Suitcase chuckled lightly. “How could I?”
The two were quiet. Suitcase never had any strong feelings towards OJ before the OSC was formed, but the two had gotten pretty close. She heard him sniff. Then take a deep breath. Suitcase laid her head on his shoulder.
“You can cry OJ.” She said,
And he did. He broke down sobbing, hugging his knees to his chest as Suitcase put their legs together and leaned her head on him. She was crying too. Not as much as OJ, only because most of her tears were spent.
“What do I do Suitcase?” he said. “He’s on his own, what if when they find him they kill him? And I’m not there to help him? What is he gonna do without me? I need him, I-I-” He took a deep breath. “I need him back.”
Suitcase lightly nudged his knee with her own. He looked up at her with a tear stained face. “What do I do?”
“I don’t know.” She says.
He frowns. “Did you think I’d have advice, OJ?”
“I guess not.” He wipes his tearstained face.
“I lost my person too OJ. Knife was… everything to me. And now he’s just gone. He’s technically not, but I won’t see him again in a long time.” Suitcase looks into the water. “We’re in the same boat. Literally.”
OJ chuckles and he sets a hand on her back. “You’re right. I just-” he sighed. “Feel so lost. I want to help everyone, but now that he’s not with me, it's hard to do.”
“Yeah I understand.” She says, leaning into him.
OJ puts his arm around her, pulling her in. She puts her knees to her chest.
“OJ…” She whispers. “Will we be ok?”
OJ rubs her shoulder. “Yeah. We will.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah.”
***
Knife doesn’t remember the last time he cried so much.
He wanted Suitcase to stay, he really did. He wanted to be with her, he selfishly wanted her to stay in the mansion with him. But he knew better.
If she stayed she would be target number one, she would probably die. He loved her too much to let that happen.
He wouldn’t cry in front of her, but now that she was gone, he let himself cry. He didn’t know how he was crying, but he couldn’t stop. He sat on his bed, or tried to, and held onto his shaking shoulders.
He knew he would be fine without her, but that didn't make it any easier. He was worried about her. She was traveling to a whole new place, with strangers. Realistically he knew she would be ok, she was Suitcase, of course she’d be ok. He still missed her.
Knife heard his door open and he saw, Paper?
“Oh, Knife?” He says
Knife quickly wipes his face. “What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving?”
“I was going to, but I’m staying here for MeTag.” He said, walking in and closing the door. “Are… are you ok?”
Knife scoffed. “Why do you care?”
“I heard you crying, Knife.” Paper crosses his arms.
“I don’t know what you're talking about.” Knife lied.
“Knife.” Paper sighed. “You’re allowed to feel things you know.”
Paper sat next to him on the bed. He was surprised Paper didn’t feel extremely awkward, considering their past. “I know that, I'm not stupid.”
“I didn’t say you were.” He said, fidgeting with his fingers. “But, you're allowed to be vulnerable. You can talk to people about your feelings.”
Knife hesitated before talking. “The only people I would trust enough to talk about my feelings with are gone. And you want me to talk to you?” He scoffs.
“I mean, if you wanted to.” Paper looks at him. “I know we’ve had a bad history, but it was literal years ago. We can put that past us now. Are you ok, Knife?
Knife sighs. “No. I’m not.” He looks away from Paper, holding onto his shoulders. “The only people I’ve ever really cared about aren’t here anymore. I was fine without Suitcase and Pickle before, but that was when I knew they could visit me whenever they wanted.”
Knife looks down at his transparent hands. All his old scars were somehow still visible. “I wanted Suitcase to stay here with me. But I knew she would be in danger if she did. I love her too much to put her in danger, but at the end of the day, I wish she was here.”
Paper is quiet for a moment. Knife looks back at him and sees small tears in his eyes.
“I know how you feel.” He says. “I wish I could’ve gone with OJ. I really do. Some part of me wishes he would've also stayed back but, he’s always been a natural leader, so the society would need him.”
Paper takes a shaky breath. “I don’t regret my choice to stay here, I really don’t. I just wish I didn't have to make this decision. I wish there was a way to make everyone happy! Me, OJ, Poppy, MeTag, you, everyone! But… there just isn’t.” Paper takes off his glasses and wipes his eyes.
He chuckles. “Thanks for talking with me Knife.”
Knife smirks. “You caught me crying in my room, how else was I supposed to keep you quiet?”
Paper laughs. “I won't tell anyone.”
The two smile at each other.
Paper stands up off the bed and puts his hands on his hips. “Alright. I have to find a room where I can stay in, and one where MeTag can stay. Wanna help me? Bow’s too busy angsting, and Dough is an idiot."
Knife laughs. “I know that better than anyone. Except Bow.”
Paper smiles. “I missed you Knife.”
Knife widens his eyes. “Really? Why?”
“I dunno. You're pretty cool.” He shrugs. “Can we be friends again?”
Knife smiles, not wanting to admit he also missed spending time with Paper. “Its your funeral, but sure.”
“Then I guess I’ll spend more time with you.” Paper quips.
Knife laughs. Paper was no replacement for Pickle, and certainly not for Suitcase. He would still miss her every second of everyday, but maybe one more friend wouldn’t hurt him.
Suitcase would be proud.