Chapter Text
Jason Todd has had a few regrets in his life.
If “a few” meant a whole fucking ton. Especially when it came to one snot-nosed mouthy-assed fucker named Timothy Jackson Drake. Seriously. Sometimes Jason wondered how the fuck the heavens or whatever deity in charge of creating humans was thinking when they came up with that gremlin. Did they just think “Hmm, maybe I should give this one the personality of a rabid raccoon? Or five? Five Rabid Raccoons and a Drunk Giraffe.”
That kid is feral.
Also fucking weird.
Anyways.
”Ex-fucking-cuse me? What did you say just happened?”, Jason took a deep breath through his helmet filters. He fought the urge to crush something into a gajillion pieces but he was currently driving his bike and he didn't want to dent the handles.
-RR got cursed by a wizard.-, Bruce Stick-Up-His-Ass Wayne said gravely
”Okay, and? Is this a Sleeping Beauty situation or? Is he a frog now???”
-…he’s…-, Bruce’s voice trailed off over the line and Jason had to remember his breathing techniques.
A Speechless Batman! Fucking A!
Jason would be amazed if he weren’t so angry that the old man was taking his damn sweet time explaining just what the fuck happened to the moron gremlin.
”Hello? Earth To Bat! Explain!”
-…he's an infant.-
That made Jason pause and stare at his phone in disbelief.
”…he's a baby?”, he could feel himself grinning, “A real baby? As in, goo-goo-ga-ga with diapers and all that?!”
-…yes.-
“Well why didn't you just say so?! That's fucking hilarious, we should get a million photos before Zatanna fixes him, I'm bringing my camera!”, he crowed in excitement, “I'll be there in-“
-Son.-
Jason stilled.
“…Yes? There's more to it, isn't there?”
-He's not…he's in an incubator right now. L is here…monitoring. He's…RR is…”
”I'll be there soon. Have you called the others?”
-…Nightwing was with him. Agent A informed the Birds. Robin…Robin is with Leslie in the MedBay. I called you as soon as I could, I knew you were finishing your mission…-
“How long has it been?”, Jason revved his bike and willed to go faster, “Where's Z?”
-Zatanna is still out of range. John Constantine is here.-
”I'm at the tunnel. I'll see you in five."