Chapter Text
Naruto has always hated funerals. He always worried he would fuck up and say something stupid. The tension cuts off all logic to his brain. It’s even worse when everyone else keeps coming up to him apologizing. They all hold the same pitiful look in their eyes. He knows everyone is thinking about how the orphan boy has to mourn yet another person. They mean well but it is exhausting.
Naruto eventually finds time to step out. The air is thick with humidity. The clouds are dark and angry. Naruto goes around the building trying to find a spot where he can go unnoticed for a bit. As soon as he turns the corner, he comes face to face with the last person he would ever want to see at this moment.
Sasuke stands against the wall in a black suit perfectly tailored for him. He takes a deep inhale of his cigarette the second he locks eyes with Naruto.
Naruto clears his throat. “Why are you here?” The words come out harsher than intended but he does not have the energy to put on a front. It’s been six years since they last interacted. Why the hell would he want to show up now?
Sasuke tilts his head. "I can’t wish my condolences?”
Naruto shakes his head. The idea of Sasuke being here is almost humorous. “A card would have sufficed.” Naruto stands next to Sasuke against the wall.
Sasuke looks away from Naruto. “I am sorry about the old man.”
“Yeah… Thanks.” Naruto rubs his forehead. The question keeps echoing in his head. It falls out of his mouth before he even realizes. “Why are you back here?”
Sasuke scoffs, clearly annoyed at the question. “I told you.”
Naruto clenches his fist. Sasuke really thinks Naruto will fall for this bullshit? “Cut the shit.”
Sasuke throws his cigarette bud on the ground and puts it out with his foot. “You know what… I knew I shouldn't have come.” He turns and starts walking away.
Naruto follows him. After six years, he does not get to walk away again. He comes all this way and walks away like a fucking coward? Absolutely not. He grabs Sasuke’s arm right before he turns the corner.
Sasuke glares at him. His jaw clenched. “Let go of me.”
Naruto refuses to loosen his grip. He knows it is not tight enough to hurt but it is enough to keep Sasuke in place. “After all these years, this is how you want to do this? You show up at Jiraya’s funeral but hide in the back the whole time and then leave? Then you get mad because I want to know what the fuck is going on?”
Sasuke gets in Naruto’s face. Naruto takes a good look at him. There is something different about him. He is no longer the sixteen-year-old boy he used to be. He has matured. Deep down though, Naruto still sees that boy. There is the smallest hint of him still there. Would he be so naive to want to push and see just how much is left of his best friend? Or did Sasuke do everything in his power to kill that version of him?
“Like I said, Naruto, I wanted to wish my condolences, but you have made it clear I am not welcome. I am sorry about Jiraiya. Seriously.” Sasuke clears his throat. He continues. “You know I understand more than anyone else here.”
Naruto lets go of his arm. He stands there speechless. Before he has the chance to respond, Sasuke is already gone.
Was he too harsh?
Even if he was, why should he care?
***
The funeral ended shortly after, and Naruto headed straight back to the house. It was the same house Jiraiya bought right after Minato and Kushina passed away. From what Naruto was told, Jiraiya was a man always on the move. He never stayed in the same place. That all changed when he took in Naruto. He must have thought settling down would be easier on a child.
It brings back so many memories. Any other time he would enjoy running through them but now it feels different. Each memory is coated with the reminder that nothing will ever be the same. Jiraiya is gone. There will be no more new memories with him here. Not only does he mourn what he lost, he mourns everything he never got to have.
Naruto finds himself in the living room with a random bottle of liquor Jiraiya never finished. He was not one to really care about alcohol but after today he needs something to cut the edge. The moment with Sasuke keeps replaying in his mind. Part of him thought they would never see each other again. The other part of him wished they would have run into each other sooner. If only things could have been different.
That’s the thing between them. It constantly feels like if something was different things would be better. The best moments always came crashing down one way or another. The universe never ceased to remind them why they should hate each other.
Naruto hated the idea of the universe telling him what or how he should feel. He was in charge of his own destiny. But even then, that did not stop the world from beating him down. First, he lost his parents as a baby. Then everything with Sasuke happened. Now, Jiraiya is gone. Was it time to start listening to the universe?
Naruto cringes at the thoughts. He grabs the bottle and drinks. The alcohol burns going down but anything is better than sitting around and ruminating about everything bad that has happened to him.
Instead, he allows himself to explore that bit of his mind he closed off years ago. He thinks about being sixteen again. Sasuke and him were sitting on his bedroom floor. Naruto leaned close to him. He wanted to get as close as he could. Sasuke hated any sort of physical touch but, when it was just them two, he would let Naruto get as close as he wanted. Naruto felt extra brave that day. He turned to Sasuke and whispered, “Did I tell you how pretty you look today?” The way Sasuke blushed was etched in Naruto’s brain permanently. It was one of Naruto’s most prized possessions. He held that image with him and even through all the bad memories that refused to give it up.
There was a peace that fell over Naruto for the first time in days. It was just enough to allow him to forget his worries and drift off.
***
The sun blares into the living room. The light forces Naruto’s eyes open. He rubs his eyes and the realization hits him. He didn't even make it to his bedroom last night. Then the pounding sets in. This is exactly why he did not care for alcohol. The hangover was never worth it. He forces himself to shower and get ready for the day.
Naruto decides to grab a bite to eat at a local diner. It has been years since he stepped foot inside, but nothing has changed. It's like he stepped back in time. He exists in two periods of time at once. He is sixteen years old, too naive to see anything wrong with the world. But also, he is twenty-two years old, knowing just how brutal it can be. The world may be brutal, but it still moves on, so Naruto must move on too.
“Hey, um can I get the breakfast special to go please?”
The lady at the counter must see his tired look. She shows extra softness in her face. “Of course, dear. Take a seat while you wait.” She points to a booth right next to the door. Naruto listens and takes a seat.
The lady from earlier comes out with his food. Naruto grabs cash from his wallet to pay for his food but before he can she interrupts. “Your bill was taken care of. Enjoy your meal!”
Naruto blinks rapidly. “I don't understand ma’am. What do you mean?”
She places her hand on Naruto’s arm and smiles. “The gentleman in the back paid your bill already.”
Naruto nods in understanding. Before he leaves the restaurant, he takes a second to try to find who the lady was talking about. The only other people in the restaurant are women. But the waitress said gentleman? It takes a second before he sees an empty table in the back. There was a half-eaten plate of food and black jacket. A black jacket with a pack of cigarettes hanging out of the pocket…
Of course.