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“See ya.”
Katsuki raises a scarred arm in a small goodbye that feels much too simple. Izuku waves back before turning away with that same wide smile, making his heart twist in ways he can’t understand. He stays there on the barren street, watching Izuku as he walks away, his figure shrinking as distance stretches between them.
Move your goddamn feet, Bakugo!
He doesn’t. No matter how hard he tries. He’s a mess right now. What was he expecting, that Izuku would really say yes to joining his agency? They’re not in high school anymore, much less the rivals like they were when they were kids. Like two paths on a dirt trail, they would’ve gone their separate ways eventually. Katsuki knew this all too well. Tears well up in his eyes, blurring the figure still walking away from him.
The signed All Might photocard crinkles slightly under his tightening grip. Why won’t you move, damn it?!
A faint tug on his pants jolts him out of his grief, Katsuki pausing to glance down. All too familiar green curls and yellow shirt appear in his vision. Izuku. The figure looks up at him, face somewhat translucent. Of course, Katsuki sees him. Izuku's made himself more known this time, though. Or at least, who Izuku was. He manages a smile at him through choked sobs, like it’s the only thing he can give back to him after all these years.
“Hey, Izuku.”
“Kacchan..why are you crying?”
“I’m not crying...you wouldn’t understand.”
Just the sight of him before they were made into whatever they are now makes his voice crack. His heart burns with everything he can’t have.
“Then explain it to me, please.”
Katsuki’s heart shatters. Those eyes, so full of hope and longing for a dream he’d never be able to chase again. How could Izuku know they were finally on even ground after he spent his whole childhood chasing after him?
“He refused my invitation.”
“Who?”
“You.”
Izuku’s expression shifts with a look that almost seems like denial. “Me? That can’t be true!”
But it is.
And there’s nothing neither you nor me can do about it.
Katsuki’s heart sinks at his lack of acceptance, the light in his eyes remaining stubborn as ever. He hates that. What was the point of Izuku didn’t spend his childhood trying to chase after him with such a headstrong personality if it was all going to fall apart right in Katsuki’s hands? He despises him for that. For switching it around for the rest of their lives.
He’s the stubborn one left to chase after him relentlessly like a mule with no way to switch it around.
“I would never say no!” Izuku protests. “If you invited me, I’d- I'd go without thinking!”
Katsuki avoids his gaze. He can’t bear to look at eyes that don’t exist in his life anymore. The little kid who looked up to him for their whole lives, just gone. Every passing second he spends with the new version of Izuku, the one who once promised to compete side by side for the rest of his life, slips through his fingers like sand, slow and filled with regret.
“I know.”
“Then why won’t you go after him?”
“Cause you’re not that kid anymore.” Izuku’s expression fades into intent listening. Katsuki can tell that was the last thing he wanted to hear. “You’re on your own path now. You don’t look up to me anymore...it’s what you’ve always wanted.”
He glances down to see the tears pooling in Izuku’s eyes, like he can’t accept that this is how it’s ending up for him. “We made- we made a promise, and I thought that for once this time…we’d finally be chasing each other for the rest of our lives.”
“You still can though, can’t you?”
“It wouldn’t be the same.” Izuku goes quiet, like the words won’t leap out of his mouth this time.
“Even so- I wouldn’t leave you like that.”
Another beat of painful silence passes between them. He knows so very well what Izuku says is true but not anymore in this cursed lifetime. He’s tired, so very tired. Tired of this rivalry that wasn’t even considered a rivalry anymore. Part of him couldn’t even make sense of what he felt right now.
“I know you wouldn’t.” The words escape his lips faster than time took Izuku.
“Then, why don’t you go after him...?”
“Because it wouldn’t be his choice.”
Katsuki has a decision to make. It’s a simple one. All he has to do is move his feet towards who he’s been chasing after his entire life. The ground feels like molasses, almost impossible to move through. He wants this, needs this so desperately to go his way for once in his life. For Izuku too. But it’s the first decision that he finally can’t make.
“I need him to choose me, not the other way around.”
“I’d still choose to join you.”
“I know. I know you would.”