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Their first time in the Dark World, Kris hadn't even thought of checking their arms. They had been too distracted by being in another world, the outfit change, and the fact that—for some reason—they were now blue.
Of course Kris didn't look at their bare arms often anyways, ashamed of the ugly lines that marred the skin, hidden under the long sleeves of the sweater they always wore.
The only time they checked was when...
Well, Kris didn't want to think about that right now. It hadn't happened for a while anyways.
Kris sat down on their bed, pulling out their knife and, after hesitating, slipping it under the pillow.
Kris... You know it's not your fault right?
Kris startled at the voice in their head, before gritting their teeth in anger and ripping out the stupid soul.
"Leave me alone!" They slammed the soul into the cage, glaring at it. It moved towards Kris, but didn't try to leave the cage.
"Fuck you," Kris muttered, turning away from it. There was no response, but Kris could practically feel the pity radiating off the stupid thing. It pissed them off.
They threw themselves sideways on their bed, staring at Asriel's empty bed on the other side of the room. Kris missed him, they missed him so badly.
After a long moment, they sat up, reaching for the knife. They rolled up their sleeves, staring at the old scars. Kris clenched their hand around the knife handle.
It wasn't fair. They liked Susie and Ralsei, and hanging out with them, but it wasn't ever really... Them. It was always that stupid thing controlling them.
Susie and Ralsei would probably hate the real Kris. Why wouldn't they? They were pathetic, and not even their real friend. The two loved that thing. They didn't love Kris.
Stupid, pathetic human Kris, who's parents had divorced, friends had gone missing or left them, who's brother left, leaving Kris alone to deal with bullies.
Kris, who couldn't even handle living most of the time.
They blinked, fighting back tears they wiped away before glaring determinedly at their arm and lifting the knife.
After the previous night, Kris was not happy to be back in the Dark World. Given the choice, they wouldn't have come to school at all today, spending it in their room. Unfortunately, they were not given a choice.
And now they were in the Dark World, watching Susie and Ralsei talk and laugh while they hung back. Like usual.
Not that they wanted to, but the stupid soul didn't give them much of a choice. Although it didn't seem to be fully controlling them right now.
Susie was telling Ralsei a stupid funny story while Ralsei laughed his head off. Kris almost wanted to join the conversation. But they couldn't bring themselves to.
They had stopped speaking as much because of the bullying, since there hadn't been anyone to talk to except their mom. But she was usually busy, or distracted since Asriel had just left for college and the divorce was still somewhat recent.
And with the soul doing most of the talking for them, Kris had sort of just... Forgotten how to join a conversation.
Kris swallowed hard, trying to not cry and left, heading to their room in the Dark World and sitting on the bed.
It was only then that they realized they didn't feel like their arm was hurt, even though it should be. But they hadn't used any healing items and Ralsei hadn't healed them so why...?
Why didn't it hurt?
Hesitantly, Kris removed the arm cuff of their armor and pulled up the sleeve. What they saw caught them off guard.
Instead of the ugly crisscrossing of scars and the fresh ones, there were white tattoos, in the shape of stars.
Kris quickly revealed the other arm and stared in shock at the white stars on their blue arms. It was... Beautiful. Where something so ugly had been.
* Yo, Kris!
Kris jolted as the door to their room slammed open and Susie walked inside, followed by an embarrassed and slightly panicked Ralsei.
* There ya are nerd!
*Whoa, are those tattoos? Cool!
*Do you have them in the light world?
Kris flinched, remembering what they looked like in the light world. What they meant.
"...No."
*Oh, lame
*Then why do they appear in this world?
Kris shrugged. "Probably the same reason I'm blue."
*Yeah, that makes sense
*Now let's go find Lancer!
"..." Kris looked down, about to say no when that familiar sensation of the soul controlling them took over.
❤️ Yes No
*Sweet!
Kris felt their body stand up and walk out of their room towards the training hall, and they felt like screaming.
Sorry, Kris. You'll thank me later!
Kris would most certainly not be thanking it later.
When they were finally back home in the light world, Kris looked at their arms again. At the ugly scars that showed how pathetic they were.
So why... Why had they turned into something so beautiful in the dark world? Other scars Kris had, mostly from childhood accidents had stayed the same.
So why were these ones... Different?
It made no sense. Kris curled up on the bed, arms in front of their face as they looked at the scars, wondering about it until they fell asleep.
The question stayed on Kris' mind all of the next day, and they couldn't help checking their arms again in the dark world when they went there with Susie.
The white stars were still there, and almost seemed to glow.
But why were they stars instead of scars?
*Those tattoos really are cool
*You should totally get them in the light world
Kris tried to not grimace at the idea, hating the idea of anyone seeing the scars, even if it was to cover them up.
"Maybe," they said, looking away. "Let's just go find Ralsei and Lancer."
As they walked towards Castle Town, Kris started to hide their wrists out of habit.
*Why are you hiding them?
*You should totally show them off!
Kris hated the idea. That something so ugly, that was meant to remind them of how pathetic they were, could turn into something so beautiful.
But they didn't want to argue with Susie or come up with an excuse. So Kris swallowed down their discomfort and let the markings remain visible.
*Ralsei! Lancer!
Susie waved to Ralsei and Lancer.
*Susie, Kris
*Hello
Kris raised their hand in a brief wave, smiling slightly. For a second it seemed like Ralsei's eyes lingered on Kris' arms for a second, but his gaze quickly turned back towards theirs and Susie's faces.
*It's good to see you guys again
*Even if you were basically just here
*It's always good to be back!
Kris just nodded.
*...
*Kris, do you think we could talk?
❤️ Yes No
Kris glared at the option choice as the soul chose for them. They did not want to talk.
Sorry Kris... But I have to see the dialogue!
Kris felt their eye twitch. This stupid thing and its obsession with the dialogue! It was driving them crazy!
You have no appreciation for Toby, I swear.
Kris huffed as they walked off with Ralsei. Who the hell was Toby?!
Uhhh...
Seriously?
Um... W.D. Gaster in Deltarune~
Aaand now it was singing. Again. Kris could already feel a headache coming on.
*So... Kris
Oh, wait, the cut scene's done!
*The stars on your arms...
*Do you know what they mean?
"Yes," Kris said. They were mocking them.
*...
Ralsei gave them an unimpressed look, likely able to tell Kris was lying. "What?"
When in trouble, feign ignorance.
*What are they in the light world?
Scars None of your business❤️
Oh, so now it cared about what Kris wanted?
*...
*Very well then
*But remember you can always talk to me
❤️Okay That's rich coming from you
Kris stared at the dialogue options. What the actual hell were they? At least the soul was nice to Ralsei instead of saying the other dialogue option.
I like Ralsei.
Kris forgot to cover up their wrists before leaving the light world. They hadn't been too worried, they figured nothing would happen.
But when they ended up in the light world and saw the scars on their arms and the sleeves rolled up, they panicked, quickly pulling them down.
*Hm? Kris, you okay?
❤️ Yes No
*Okay...
"Let's just go to my house," Kris said. "Mom'll be happy to see you again."
*Alright!
The two walked to Kris' house together. "Mom, I'm home. Susie's here too," Kris said as they entered the house.
*Oh, Susie!
*It's wonderful to see you again
*You too Ms. Toriel
*Come, sit down you two
*I just finished making dinner
*And will you two do the dishes after?
*Of course Ms. Toriel!
"..." Kris didn't reply, looking away. They didn't care about doing the dishes, but with Susie? They were likely to accidentally reveal their scars.
*Kris, I expect you to help
"I can just do them by myself," Kris muttered.
*No way, I already said I'd help!
Kris tensed up, trying to think of an explanation that didn't involve revealing their scars. "I- I'd really rather just do them myself..."
*Kris, is everything alright?
*You seem a bit pale...
*Are you feeling well?
"I-" Kris didn't have a chance to reply before their mom placed a hand against their forehead.
*You're a bit warm...
*Go up to bed, I'll bring you some soup
"I'm fine-" Kris protested.
*Clearly not! Now-
"I'm fine!" Kris yelled. The room froze, even Kris was startled by their own outburst.
"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Their voice stuck, and tears began to well up in their eyes, before they finally broke, sobbing as they sunk to the ground.
*Kris! What's wrong?!
*K- Kris?
Kris couldn't stop the tears from coming and they furiously scrubbed at their face, one of their sleeves slipping down just enough to reveal the scars. They didn't notice until they heard Susie and their mom gasp simultaneously.
Pulling their arm away from their face, they realized what had happened and scrambled to their feet in horror.
*... Kris?
*Kris what- what happened?
It was too much. Kris couldn't handle it. "Just leave me alone!"
They shoved past Susie and Toriel, sprinting towards the stairs and taking them two at a time before entering their room and slamming the door shut. Kris ripped out the soul, shutting it in the cage and covering it with a blanket before collapsing on the bed, shaking from how hard they were crying, and eventually, falling asleep.
When Kris woke up their face was dry, and their hair sticking slightly to it. They felt disoriented and tired, slowly sitting up and putting the soul back into their body.
Kris rubbed their eyes and walked downstairs, somehow feeling like their body was too heavy yet not touching the ground all at once.
*Oh, Kris, you're awake!
*Susie and I are sorry about earlier...
*I... made some pie if you want any
*And there are leftovers from dinner
*We thought you might want some space
Kris nodded, rubbing their eyes again. Hearing the sound of running water, they looked toward the kitchen and saw Susie doing the dishes, a solemn look on her face. She looked like she was trying to focus on only the dishes but struggling to do so. Kris felt guilty about it, so the walked over, rolling up their sleeves, picking up a plate and beginning to scrub it.
Susie looked over, slightly startled at their sudden appearance, their gaze dripping down to Kris' wrists, where the scars were visible, before looking away.
*(Of course...)
*(How could I be so stupid?)
*(I should have known)
"I'm sorry for snapping earlier," Kris said. "If I... Scared you."
*...You're good
*I'm sorry too
*About the whole... tattoo thing
*Still, the symbolism is pretty cool
"What do you mean?"
*I mean...
*You're pretty strong Kris
*And...
*Even though it's horrible you felt that way?
*Hurting yourself takes guts
*And a shit tone of will power
*But you're still alive, yeah?
*That's a good thing
*It means you survived
"..." Kris stared at Susie, stunned, before smiling, turning back to the dishes. "That... Means a lot. But you're wrong."
*How so?
"Because I haven't survived. I'm still fighting. But..." Kris looked up at Susie. "With you? I feel like I might just make it."