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waves crashed into sand, pulling them back, pushing them forward
waves, crashed into feet, into legs, and into hips
two, together, silence clasping a noose around their wrists.
…
one, who shined like the sun, frowned underneath the rising moon. his pure-white hair mimicked that of a dove's gentle wings, with the small clink of his golden jewelry sung together with the rushing wind.
the other, whose eyes gleamed like the night sky, a blank stare coating his face watching the water twinkle restlessly, two red feathers in his hair mimicked a bird, taking flight, in the wind.
…
the cold bit at their toes, and their noses
the water damped their school uniforms
with luna, watcheing in awe
of two
parting souls.
…
"Jamil..?" the boy with white hair finally mustered the courage to speak, and the skin of his lower lip slowly slid under a canine, his ruby red eyes tracing the form of the other.
with that, the other boy, sighed softly, gentle eyes glancing back. "Yes, Kalim?" his words brief, dull, and tired. he had long, deep brown, streaky hair that flowed like silk, and braids that carried traces of the other in them, intertwined with each cross, telling a story of just that morning.
"You're… awfully quite." kalim giggled.
"…You are too." jamil huffed.
"I know— I'm just… trying to figure out what I'm gonna say." he stammered, and his hands slowly circled around each other, rubbing against the knuckles of one another. "Haha, here I was thinking this would be easy."
"…Easy? Seriously— Kalim, what are you trying to get at here?" ire formed in jamil's words, his lips curled down to a frown and the light previously in his glance, now polluted by the nervous smile of his other half. "You dragged us to this beach far away from campus, mind you, and now you're here tongue tied. What's the deal?" venom slowly dripped from his mouth, sharing no gentleness kalim tried to exert.
…the boy whined, feeling guilty of course, yet no wishes to argue back. "I— um, understand. It's just…" his head, turned up to the sky, watching stars twinkle from thousand upon thousands of miles away simply watch back.
"I wanted to talk about us."
about them
and their lives
for what could be after.
"…Seriously? Did I not make it obvious how I felt?"
when winter came
why blot filled
every room of their home.
"Don't worry, don't worry. I didn't forget— afterall, how could I? Ahaha…ha… you're my best friend, so I wouldn't ignore something like that."
"…Okay then, why do you even bring it up?"
kalim's face drooped once again, he longed for something intricate and woven between the two.
"W-well, we're moving onto third year together, right? I wanted to know if you— uh, had any thoughts about staying by my side." he sheepishly spoke, taking quick glances between the moon and his moon to gauge the other's reaction.
…jamil scoffed, the question felt stupid, and meaningless to him. "I don't really have a choice, do I?"
pain seared in kalim's throat, the illusion of autonomy jamil understood— but did not respect— made itself perfectly clear.
"Y—you've always had a—"
"No, I haven't. I've only stayed with you for this long in the chance you'd get hurt, because it would be my life, and yours, if I did not protect it."
…
scornful, angry, and importantly—
repressed.
"…You don't have to do that for me, or yourself, I can handle myself just fine." kalim muttered, turning his body to face jamil.
sometimes, kalim wishes he wasnt himself, and jamil wasn't himself either
rather, two people on earth,
walking together,
just as equals,
like normal
…
he should say that, maybe.
"Your family and mine are overbearing, and they've done nothing for you— so I wanna give you a chance, an opportunity, to be what you want."
"I—"
"I want you to forget I exist, even if for just a bit."
…
"Wouldn't we be happier that way?"
jamil looked dumbfounded, though not repulsed. infact, his eyes softened, and glistened once more. "Well… We—" he paused, considering what kalim would even do with this information, "We can't do that. You know this."
"…Why not?"
"Because, we're still going to see each other everyday. We're still going to have to talk to each other constantly, we're still going to eat at the same table… we can't forget each other, it's just not possible."
water clashed in kalim's eyes, and he let out a few stray salty tears which fizzled away in the endless sea. those words, although not intended to comfort, brought the warmth kalim desperately wished for. and he exhaled, like years worth of pressure slowly leaving his body.
"Ah, right, I forgot we're still— ourselves."
yet, no matter how happy he felt in the moment, his own head brought him back down further than before.
"…Pardon?"
"…W-well, i've just been thinking—"
…
"What would our lives be if we were other people?"
"What if— we we're just two boys, going to some random highschool, who probably only saw each other passing in the halls. What would life be like?"
jamil grumbled, the thought alone confused him. kalim's parents have always been more important than jamil's parents, therefore, kalim was more important.
…but a world, where they had nothing to do with eachother, where their families had no reason to interact, where they would have no reason to interact,
entranced him.
jamil, could dance as much as he'd like, and be good at it.
jamil, could study and perform as much as he'd like, and be great at it.
jamil, could be himself.
and be content.
…
but what would kalim be?
would he, continue playing the drums?
would he, keep being a good friend?
would kalim, even smile?
…
what world would that be like?
one without kalim's uplifting self, even despite his sorrow,
would that be a good world?
…
what would life be like without each other?
jamil exhaled, "Don't think of things like that— you'll end up tiring yourself out contemplating on realities that won't ever exist."
you cant untie a noose, even when you're scratching desperately to
you can cut it, but the rope will be there, stuck looped around itself
a prisoner to acts that could never be reversed.
"I know— I know I just— want to see you genuinely happy. even if just for a moment."
the seafoam began to cling to their clothes, but couldn't teather one down. which led jamil crawling towards kalim, soaking in the seasalt between his fingers.
and wrapped his arms around kalim. surprising him
"You have already, Kalim."
"…When was that? Ahaha…"
"When I saw you charging at me, coming back from Styx."
"When you didn't let go, in our dream, even after all that we said back then."
"And—"
…
"…Every time I've had to wake you up in the morning, and you'd instantly fall back asleep."
…
a sun, without a moon, is just light looking for reason.
a moon, without a sun, is just a rock aimlessly drifting.
not together, perhaps, but close enough to drive life itself in a harmonious cycle.
jamil wasnt free from his shackles.
kalim wasnt free from his fate.
but right now
they were two birds, pruning each other
they were the sun,
and moon
dancing around earth
they were everything together, just for a moment
"Jamil..?"
"…Yes, Kalim?"
"I love you."
"…Love you too."