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It was a busy night. Not ‘all hands on deck’ type of situation, but it was busy. This ensured that Jason had much to do tonight, and by the time he got off patrol—Jason was exhausted. He was all but begging to go to his and Kyle's apartment, and enjoy a good, fat sleep with his significant other lying next to him.
The whole thing that Jason had with Kyle wasn't exactly intentional, per sé, however it was entirely welcome. When the two first met during crisis, they weren't exactly friends. However, after crisis, Kyle was off in space, and seemed to mature a little bit since crisis. So, when Kyle came back to earth, Jason wanted to mess with his (reluctant) favorite green lantern. The two ended up hitting each other off really well and their relationship took a turn towards romance. They've been dating for some time now, and Jason trusts Kyle with his life.
Jason hasn't told Kyle everything about himself, and he's positive Kyle hasn't said things to Jason either. But they make it work.
Jason arrives to an unlit, quiet apartment. It smells faintly like Kyle's favorite candle—something sweet and wild. Kyle must have lit the candle a little after Jason left for patrol. It probably snuffed out on its own a little bit ago.
Jason walks into their shared bedroom without turning on any of the lights. Kyle is probably asleep,and Jason wouldn't want to wake him up. The sene that Jason comes to, however; is of an empty bedroom with the blankets halfway on the floor; the blackout curtains pulled as far back as possible; and the connecting bathroom door closed with the light on. Now Jason has been living with Kyle for a little over 6 months, so Jason thinks that he has become accustomed to normal Kyle behavior—this is not normal behavior for the man. Even with the exhaustion running through Jason’s very bones, he becomes a little bit concerned. Not overly so, but just enough to think that maybe Kyle isn’t just going to the bathroom. Enough to call out:
“Kyle? You alright in there?” Jason’s voice is rough, even as he tries to pitch it into something a little more normal. It’s too used to the gruffness that he usually carries with hime on patrol.
There is no response through the door, not even a twitch of shuffling or footsteps through it. Jason knows that Kyle should have been able to hear him. So why was there no response? Jason decides then that maybe he should knock. Walking up to the door, Jason can hear nothing that warrants distress. No ragged breathing or anything. The silence is what set him off in the first place, he’d be damned if he didn’t ensure Kyle was alright before sleeping for the rest of the day—lord knows he needs it.
“Kyle?” Jason calls again as he knocks. His voice giving way to his now less-than-mild distress. There is still no response. “That’s it, I’m coming in. You better not just be takin’ a shit.” Jason can’t help the snark that comes through. He’s tired, and he doesn’t exactly have a filter anymore.
Jason turns the knob, and as expected, it is unlocked. He opens the door and finds Kyle sitting on the floor against the bathtub, facing the right wall, but looking away from the door. Kyle looks completely fine, no visible injuries or hitching breath. Not even controlled breathing is present. Outwardly, Kyle looks fine. Jason is half tempted to just go to bed and deal with it in the morning. But somewhere in the depths of his stomach, there is a twinge of unease that he can’t really ignore. Even though Jason yearns for the bed—not even 30 feet from him—like some sap star crossed lover, Jason knows he won’t sleep until the uneasiness is satiated.
“Kyle, are you alright?” Jason asks tiredly. There is still no response. Not even a muscle tense of acknowledgement.
Jason closes the distance between them in just two strides. He kneels down on Kyle’s level and guides the other man’s chin to look at Jason. And-
What?
…
That can’t be right-
Kyle’s eyes are glowing white. It’s not blinding or anything, but it’s a little jarring. It shocks Jason enough to let go of Kyle’s chin. It takes a moment for Jason to catalogue Kyle’s face.
Besides the glowing eyes, Kyle’s face was unnaturally blank. It was greatly unnerving to Jason, who fell in love with the man for his emotional complexities and vulnerability. Kyle was the type of person to wear their heart on their sleeve without any doubt. He was chronically expressive, even asleep. Not no mention the fact that Kyle always seemed to be doing something either fiddling with one thing or another or drawing, Kyle never sat still. So, the silence, the stillness, and the blankness was so unlike anything that made up Kyle that Jason, for a second, thought that maybe this wasn’t Kyle.
Kyle wasn’t even looking at Jason. He was staring off into a space that Jason had no hope of perceiving. It was then that Jason took note of Kyle’s ring as well. It was white. Usually Kyle used the green light and his ring reflected that. Kyle had explained to Jason, once, that it takes a certain level of control to keep the ring a certain color besides white. But Kyle choses not to always have the ring glow with the light of life because it feels like he’s by himself again. Like he’s back to where he started, that and there’s a certain level of kinship he has with his fellow green lanterns that Jason has some understanding of.
Either way, Kyle normally doesn’t keep his ring white. So another detail to go in the box of ‘things are not normal’.
“Kyle, bud, can you look at me?” Jason can’t help but inquire. Kyle’s half-lidded eyes move just the smallest amount before going back to the in-between. Kyle gives a subtle shake of the head in response.
At least it’s something.
“Can I touch you?” Jason asks tentatively. This is entirely new territory for Jason, he doesn’t want to screw this up. Kyle gives a slight nod.
Jason cups his face, his hand moving slowly in hopes that maybe Kyle will track it. Even with the tenderness that Jason holds Kyle, he still gives a slight flinch at the touch, like he wasn’t expecting it.
“Do you want to head to bed? Because I might just sleep on top of you if we stay here any longer.” It’s a small joke. Something more to ease Jason’s own nerves than to soothe Kyle. Jason is emotionally aware enough to acknowledge that, at least. Kyle nods again.
Jason scoops up Kyle into a princess carry. He makes Jason shiver a bit with how cold Kyle feels. On any other night—any other time—Jason would expect Kyle to complain or wriggle around to get out of Jason’s carry out of embarrassment. Now though, Kyle is still and silent. Similar to a statue, or a corpse.
Jason places Kyle on a spot on the bed that has no blankets on. When Jason lets go, Kyle shivers a bit. It’s the most Kyle has moved on his own since Jason got home. Jason feels nauseous.
Jason picks up the blankets that are half strewn on the floor and puts them over Kyle. Kyle flinches a bit again at the sudden weight on top of him, but otherwise stays still. Jason gets into bed after closing the black-out curtains, leaving the only source of light in the room to be from Kyle’s eyes. Once under the covers, Jason pulls Kyle close. He allows Kyle to rest his head on Jason’s bicep, Jason himself uses his free hand to curl around Kyle’s shoulder blades, elbow resting just below Kyle’s ribs. Kyle’s face is nestled in front of Jason’s chest, with Kyle’s hair lightly tickling Jason’s jaw.
Kyle settles almost immediately. Jason, on the other hand, has his mind racing. He’s worried, riddled with anxiety about what is wrong with Kyle. Whatever the case may be, Jason will handle it. He’ll stay with Kyle through it. Maybe it’s because Jason is selfish and refuses to loose one of the only good things in his life, or maybe it’s because Kyle has issues of his own. Either way, Jason is staying. He’ll figure it out. He will stay with Kyle until he comes back.
With that final thought Jason drifts off to sleep.
———
It’s a bad night, that much he is aware of. He thinks he’s safe, but the first time he wasn’t.
All he sees is a void of white. If he was capable of mortal thought at the moment, he would remember that all the other times were like this too.
He thinks he should have someone with him. There’s a feeling there. One that smells like pink, like sweet candy. If he was attached to his semi-mortal body, he would feel his heart twang by this sapphire tasting feeling.
He thinks he’s being held, but he’s not entirely certain. There is a weight around him, but there is a disconnect from his skin to his mind that makes him ignore the feeling.
It hasn’t been this bad in a while.
Not since-
There is warmth where it should have been cold. He thinks he remembers it should be cold.
There is another feeling that should make his heart beat like a humming bird’s wings. It smells yellow. There is no other way to describe it.
He thinks he hates the smell of yellow.
He can’t really remember-
The yellow and the pink, he thinks, aren’t actually coming from him at this present moment. Wherever it’s coming from, it’s far away.
it’s too close
He smells blue next, and at this point he knows it’s not from him.
It’s a bad night. He knows he’s safe.