Archive of Our Own

There’s an orange sticky note on Lando’s bedroom door when he gets back from class. It’s short, and the words are written in Oscar’s perfect handwriting in black ink. 

At the library for a group project. Not sure how long I’ll be. Don’t forget to eat — Oscar 

Lando peels it off the door, and once he walks into his room, he heads over to the closet, pulling out a shoebox full of dozens of other sticky notes, all of which have short sentences written on them. He adds today’s note to the box, smiling to himself. 

The sticky notes have been a thing for a while, stemming back from the one time Lando fell asleep in the living room after trying to pull an all-nighter. He’d woken up to a sticky note literally on his forehead, and when he pulled it off to read it, it had said: Next time, fall asleep in your room. I’ll see you after my classes — Oscar. Lando hadn’t thrown the note out. If he looked through the shoebox right now, he’d find it. 

The sticky notes continued from there. Sometimes, the notes would be on the refrigerator, little reminders for both of them, like class times or if there was an assignment due. Other times, it’d be a grocery list or meeting reminders with their friends if they had something scheduled. The notes specifically for Lando are the ones he takes and puts inside his shoebox. 

If Oscar notices the notes are never in the trash can, he never says anything. Lando sort of prefers that. He thinks it’s a little embarrassing that he’s harboring sticky notes from his roommate. There’s really no reason for him to. 

But Lando likes it. The notes make him feel seen. The notes are Oscar’s way of showing he cares. 

He and Oscar became roommates just before the end of sophomore year. Lando wanted to live in an apartment during junior year, and he stumbled upon Oscar, who was looking for a roommate. They exchanged numbers and talked about it throughout the summer, eventually finding a place they both liked. It was a pretty sweet deal. Lando didn’t have to live in the dorms, and he found an awesome friend in his roommate. 

He could also add crush to the list, if he’s being honest. 

The first time Lando met Oscar, he stuttered and made a fool of himself. Lando had thought he had for sure screwed up any chance of Oscar accepting him as a roommate, but they sat down and chatted for a good hour, and at the end of it, Oscar said he'd love to talk more. Things worked out in the end, but Lando still is haunted by that terrible first impression. 

Oscar’s a bit of a quiet guy, not really that talkative, but with Lando, he is. They spend a lot of time in the living room, talking, though usually it’s Lando who’s doing the talking, but Oscar never seems to mind. It makes Lando a little self-conscious, sometimes, when he’s rambling, but Oscar never tells him to shut up or says he’s being annoying. If Oscar’s ever thought it, he’s been too kind to say it aloud, but Lando has a pretty good feeling Oscar’s never thought that way about him. Well, he hopes so. 

So, yeah, Oscar listens to him. Oscar stays up with him late at night to help him study. Oscar leaves little notes all the time for him. 

Oscar’s a very easy guy to crush on. He’s kind and thoughtful and never fails to make Lando smile. 

If only Lando had the courage to do something. 

Lando sighs, spinning in his desk chair. He should be working on finishing an assignment, but getting distracted by thinking about Oscar isn’t exactly new for him. More often than not, he somehow always ends up thinking about Oscar, whether it’s his smile or the notes he leaves or how he always makes Lando’s heart race the slightest bit faster when they’re in the same room. 

Yeah, his crush is really out of hand. 

But again, Lando isn't courageous or brave and hasn’t said anything. He’s honestly not sure what he’d do if he confessed to Oscar, only to be shut down. It’d make things awkward, and then Oscar might go and leave Lando behind, and Lando obviously doesn’t want that; he feels sick at the thought, so not saying anything seems like the safer option. 

He thinks about something he once heard: Is it better to speak or to die? 

Lando isn’t sure, but he wishes he was. 

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Lando and Oscar go to classes on the same days. They hadn’t planned their schedules that way, merely a coincidence. Oscar, however, leaves before Lando every morning because he has a class at the earliest time slot of the day, which Lando doesn't have. Lando flat-out refused to have a really early class when making his schedule, so his day runs a bit longer than Oscar’s. 

When Lando walks into the kitchen Thursday morning, there’s a new sticky note on the refrigerator. 

Hope everything goes well on your exam today. I’ll see you later — Oscar 

Lando smiles, as he always does when he reads a note from Oscar, and tucks it into his pocket, planning on bringing the note with him to class. It might be his lucky charm. 

He sits down at the counter, not bothering to eat anything. He takes out a folder from his bag, pulling out the review sheet for the exam. He’s still got some time left before he has to leave for class, so it doesn’t hurt to get some last-minute preparation in. He and Oscar stayed up a bit longer last night to go over some things, which definitely was a confidence boost for Lando. Studying with Oscar is always effective. In fact, his grades actually improved with Oscar’s help. Almost every exam he’s taken since he started studying with Oscar has been higher than his scores on other exams before he knew Oscar. 

Oscar pushes him to be better. He’s good for Lando. 

Lando looks back up at the refrigerator, only now realizing the note he left for Oscar last night is gone. He’s made a habit of leaving have a good day :) notes on the refrigerator for Oscar the night before Oscar has classes. He wonders what Oscar does with the notes since he never sees them in the trash. Maybe Oscar keeps them too. 

Warmth floods Lando’s cheeks at the thought. He hopes Oscar does. He hopes they mean as much to Oscar as they do to Lando. 

He reaches into his bag, taking out a stack of sticky notes, taking one off. He grabs a pen too, scrawling out a quick message. 

thx for studying with me last night. really helped me feel better about the exam. see you later — lando 

Unlike Oscar, Lando really doesn’t care about his grammar in his notes. His handwriting also isn’t the greatest, but it’s legible. Well, Lando thinks it’s legible. Oscar’s never said anything, so Lando just assumes Oscar is able to read them. 

Lando places his things back in his bag, slides off the stool, throws his bag over his shoulder, and walks over to the refrigerator, placing the note on it. He smiles, taps it once, and then leaves the apartment. 

He’s got a good feeling about today. 

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When Lando returns to the apartment later that afternoon, Oscar’s in the living room, reclined on the couch, a book in hand. Oscar sets a sticky note on the page he’s on and sets it off to the side when Lando joins him on the couch. 

“Hey,” Oscar greets with a smile. “How’d your exam go?” 

“Good!” Lando responds brightly. “Nothing on there that wasn’t mentioned in the reviews, so I feel pretty good about it.” 

“I’m glad,” Oscar replies, swinging his legs over the side of the couch so that they’re touching the floor. “You studied really hard for it.” 

“I know I left a note, but I want to thank you again,” Lando starts, somewhat shyly. “I always feel better after studying with you. Thanks for doing it.” 

“Course,” Oscar shrugs, but his tone is soft so Lando knows he’s touched by his words. 

“How was your day?” Lando asks, as he always does when he gets home. 

“It was alright,” Oscar responds, a slight twitch to his lips, which is in the motion of a frown. 

Lando frowns too. “Did something happen?” 

Oscar sighs. “Just incompetent groupmates.” 

Lando winces. He’s not the biggest fan of group projects, simply because he can’t count how many times his group has been terrible and utterly useless. Now, if his groupmates aren’t useless, then group projects aren’t bad, but when there is zero collaboration or organization, they are the bane of Lando’s existence. 

“Want to get ice cream?” Lando suggests. 

Oscar’s eyes brighten, frown melting away. “Let’s go.” 

They leave their apartment and head toward the ice cream shop they frequent, which is close to their building. Ice cream runs have become a thing, though they usually go a bit later, commonly after dinner. Lando doesn’t mind going early. He’ll eat ice cream whenever. Hell, he eats it at one in the morning when he pulls an all-nighter. 

Oscar holds the door open, always the gentleman, and though Lando is supposed to pay for the ice cream this time, Oscar insists on paying, claiming Lando earned it after his exam today. Lando doesn’t bother arguing, knowing it’s useless. He usually loses these arguments to Oscar. 

“Walk and eat?” Oscar asks after they get their ice cream. 

“Sure.”

Sometimes, they’ll eat inside the shop. Other times, they’ll walk around. It depends on what they’re feeling. 

Oscar, of course, holds the door open for Lando once again, which makes him roll his eyes fondly. Oscar just smiles proudly. 

“Any plans the rest of the night?” Oscar questions. 

“Minecraft with Charles,” Lando answers with a grin. 

Oscar looks fond. “Right. You’re building on that world, right?” 

“Mhm.” 

Charles is one of Lando’s friends, having met him through a shared class since they both are majoring in Architecture. During class one day, Minecraft came up, and since they both played it, they created a shared world to build together. They’ve been working on their creative world for over a year now. It’s been a lot of fun, designing and collaborating on builds together. Charles is very talented, and he’s always got tips or good suggestions to tweak some things Lando’s created. They work on the world solo, but most of the time, they play together since it’s a lot more fun that way. Lando has something of a following on Twitch, so when he does build, he usually goes live. 

“What are you guys working on now?” Oscar questions, genuinely curious. It’s another thing Lando likes about Oscar—that he doesn’t scoff or insult Lando’s genuine attachment to Minecraft, unlike how some people might. 

“An Italian coastal village,” Lando informs. “Charles is, like, a god at designing the buildings. He’s been to Italy, which definitely helps with inspiration, but everything he’s done so far looks unreal. I’m a bit jealous, actually.” 

“Your stuff is better,” Oscar says without hesitation because of course he does. He hasn’t seen the village at all, but he still thinks Lando’s work is better. He never fails to say that. 

“While I appreciate that very much, I am pretty confident in saying Charles is better at this style,” Lando quipps. 

There’s no shame in admitting it. Just as Charles is better at the Italian build style, Lando’s better at the British one. When they built a British village, Lando’s builds were definitely better than Charles’, but that’s because Lando grew up surrounded by that style. 

“Still think it’s you,” Oscar shrugs. 

Lando grins. “My number one supporter.” 

Oscar looks at Lando, smiling. “Always.” 

Lando’s stomach erupts with butterflies. He cherishes the words, knowing full well that Oscar means it. Oscar never says anything he doesn’t mean. 

“You’ll have to take a look at the world,” Lando suggests, cheeks hot. “It’s been a while since I’ve given you an update, yeah?” 

Oscar hums. “It’s been a bit, yeah.” 

“I can give you a rundown on everything we’ve done,” Lando continues excitedly. “It might take a while.” 

“I don’t mind,” Oscar shakes his head. “Sounds fun. You know I like seeing your work.” 

Lando’s already blushing, but he’s sure his cheeks are even redder. He has to look away from Oscar’s sincere eyes, focusing on staring straight ahead. 

Get a grip, Lando scolds himself. 

But Oscar has a talent for making Lando lose all sense of composure. Lando hardly cares. He welcomes it, in fact. He loves the way Oscar makes him feel. It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt for someone else. 

It’s different with Oscar. Everything is. 

“Lando?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Mind giving some tips? Reckon it’s about time I finally build something.” 

Lando’s eyes widen, snapping his head towards Oscar. “Are you serious?”

Oscar’s eyes gleam. “Of course. You’ve been asking for a while.” 

“This is the best day of my life,” Lando declares seriously. Oscar laughs. “I’ll literally stay up all night with you explaining things, Osc. I’m serious. I could go on for hours.” 

“I expect a very nice beginning lesson,” Oscar comments playfully. 

Lando places a hand over his heart. “I swear that I will teach you how to become a god at building. It just might take a while.” 

Oscar laughs again. It makes Lando happier than Oscar agreeing to play Minecraft with him. 

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“Lando, this looks like shit.” 

“Osc, you literally just started building. Of course it looks like shit.” 

“It is quite terrible,” a third voice adds. 

Oscar scowls. “I wasn’t asking for your opinion, Charles.” 

Charles’ laugh comes through the Discord call. “Sorry.” 

Charles is definitely not sorry, and Lando hides a snort at Oscar’s irritated expression. In the past hour they’ve been playing, Charles has made something of a new hobby for himself by critiquing Oscar’s building, which is only frustrating Oscar further. Of course, the teasing is all playful, and Oscar isn’t really upset, but it’s still hilarious to witness. Charles and Oscar are like puppies snapping at each other. 

“I cannot believe how much better yours looks,” Oscar mutters. 

“Well, it actually is believable,” Charles comments. “We have been building a lot longer than you.” 

“Don’t provoke him, Charles,” Lando says, but he’s smiling, enjoying the back and forth between his friends. 

“I’ll blow up everything you built, Charles,” Oscar threatens. 

“Do that and they will never find your body.” 

“Christ,” Lando says. 

And that’s how the rest of the night more or less goes, Charles provoking Oscar and Oscar snapping back. Lando still considers it a pretty great night. 

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When Lando drags himself into the kitchen the following morning, there’s a sticky note on the refrigerator. Oscar is out for his morning jog, which Lando sometimes tags along on, but he’d been too tired this morning, sleeping through the alarm that wakes him up for it. Lando reaches for the note, taking it off the refrigerator. 

Thanks for the building lessons. When I get back, I’m down to play more — Oscar 

Lando’s sure he’s never smiled wider than he is right now. He feels like he’s won the lottery even though Oscar only agreed to play Minecraft with him. 

Lando was already aware of it, but he’s even more aware of just how down bad he is. 

He’s perfectly fine with it.  

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It becomes a thing, just one more activity added to the list of things they do together. They play Minecraft, spending hours at it. Lando will work on his own thing, and Oscar will attempt to work on his thing, but Lando spends very little time actually working on his stuff, too busy flying back to Oscar and looking at whatever monstrosity Oscar created and giving tips on how to fix it. 

Most of the time, whatever Oscar creates isn’t fixable, so they end up destroying it all. Oscar looks like he wants to die every time it happens. Lando finds it hilarious. 

Lando starts leaving more notes now, too. Sometimes affirmations. Sometimes just messages. 

ur getting better osc! 

rlly liked the house you made last night :) 

u make building a lot more fun. thx for playing so long today even though u had other stuff u could have been doing. 

Every note Lando writes, he gets a response. He can’t think of a time when Oscar hasn’t responded. It’s become a sort of second language, he thinks. It’s their own thing, and Lando loves it. 

It should be a bit embarrassing how eager he is when he sees a note. It makes him feel like an eager puppy about to get fed breakfast or dinner. Though the months have changed, Lando’s feelings on the notes haven’t, and they probably never will. It will always make Lando feel special, for some reason. 

He picks up one of Oscar’s notes, reading it before letting it slip through his fingers and back into the shoebox. He repeats the process a couple of times with different notes. He thinks he should really get rid of some. If Oscar ever went into his room (he wouldn’t, Lando knows that) and found the shoebox, Lando thinks he would die of embarrassment. He’d much prefer to tell Oscar about him hoarding the notes than Oscar finding out on his own. He’s afraid Oscar would flee the country if he stumbled across it on his own. 

So, Lando’s actually got two major secrets he’s keeping from Oscar: the crush and the shoebox. 

He has no idea how to confess about either. 

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It’s storming, and Lando can’t fall asleep. He throws the covers off and gets out of bed, finding his slippers in the dark and sliding them on. He walks out of his room, down the hall, and his eyes widen when he sees Oscar lying on the couch, one arm behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling. Oscar looks away from the ceiling when he becomes aware of Lando’s presence. 

“Can’t sleep either?” Oscar asks rhetorically. Lando shakes his head wordlessly. “Sit with me?”

“Course.” 

Oscar makes room for Lando on the couch, leaving a few inches between them. Lando feels his warmth despite the small distance separating them. 

For a bit, they're quiet, listening to the sound of the rain pattering against the window. 

“Everything alright?” Oscar eventually asks.

“Just one of those nights when I can't sleep,” Lando replies honestly. “What about you?”

“Bit of the same,” Oscar says. “I got another big project coming up, though.” 

Lando thinks it’s unfair how many projects Oscar seems to have, but he supposes that's just a part of university. He wishes Oscar had a lighter workload, though. 

“Another group project?” Lando asks. 

Oscar chuckles. “Thankfully no.”

Lando smiles. “No useless groupmates, at least.”

Oscar returns the smile. “That’s one positive.” 

They agree to put on a movie, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, a movie they've watched probably a dozen times but never get tired of. Lando likes to spend it comparing Oscar to Spider-Man, which always amuses his roommate. Lando’s been trying to convince Oscar to go as Spider-Man for Halloween, but hasn't had much success. He doesn't get why, because Spider-Man is cool as fuck. 

Lando’s eyes begin to flutter at some point, and he sinks lower into the cushions, finding it harder and harder to concentrate on the screen. Oscar seems fine, which Lando doesn't understand because it's really late—early, technically—but doesn't think too hard about it. Oscar does sleep. Lando just isn't exactly sure when.

His last thought is of Oscar. Then there's nothing. 

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When Lando wakes up, he’s surprised by the fact that he’s not on the couch. Instead, he’s lying in the comfort of his own bed, underneath the covers. He has no idea how he ended up here. 

Turning his head, he spots a sticky note on his desk. He reaches for it, blinking a few times as his vision clears up. Oscar’s familiar handwriting greets him. 

Thought you’d be more comfortable sleeping on the bed instead of the couch. Thanks for keeping me company last night — Oscar 

Oh.

Lando’s cheeks burn as he realizes Oscar must have carried him to bed. He knows Oscar is strong; they sometimes go to the gym together, so he’s seen the size of Oscar’s arms. If Oscar actually carried him to bed, he wouldn’t be that surprised. Oscar definitely had the strength to do it. 

Absently, Lando wonders if all roommates do that. After a moment, he concludes that, no, most roommates probably don’t do that. 

Lando gets out of bed, adds the sticky note to the shoebox, and then for the next twenty minutes, he goes through his morning routine. As Lando walks out of his bedroom, the front door opens, and Oscar walks through, holding a plastic bag with the logo of a bakery they frequent. 

“Morning,” Oscar greets, flashing a smile. 

“Morning,” Lando returns, feeling himself blush. “Got some treats?” 

Oscar nods. “Hope you’re hungry.” 

They walk into the kitchen and sit down at the counter. Oscar sets the bag down, then reaches inside to pull out a box full of cinnamon rolls. 

“Did Logan make them?” Lando asks, mouth almost watering as he looks at the sweet-smelling cinnamon rolls. 

“Of course.” 

Logan works at the bakery and is one of Oscar’s friends. Lando has hung out with him a few times, but he really only sees him when he’s with Oscar. Logan’s a really nice guy, and from the small amount of time Lando’s spent with him, he’s enjoyed it a lot. 

Lando takes a bite out of a roll, relishing the sweet taste. “Logan is literally a god for making these.” 

Oscar looks amused. “You and your cinnamon rolls.” 

Lando just grins, reaching for another roll and taking a bite. Oscar bites into his own, and for the rest of the morning, they sit there at the counter, finishing the box of cinnamon rolls and chatting about whatever comes up. These mornings are Lando’s favorite type of mornings. He wouldn’t trade them for anything. 

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No one knows about the sticky notes. No one other than Lando. That changes on a Friday night when Charles is over. 

Lando’s sitting at his desk, playing Minecraft, while Charles is standing in front of his closet, looking through Lando’s clothes, trying to find a suitable outfit for the art exhibition Lando is joining him for. Charles’ girlfriend, Alexandra, is an Art major and has a few pieces in the exhibition, and when Charles asked if Lando wanted to tag along, he accepted. The only problem is that Lando didn’t know what to wear for it, so Charles came over to help him find something. 

“Mate, where the fuck are your nice clothes?” Charles questions, twisting around to look at Lando. 

“Not sure if I have any,” Lando answers, briefly looking away from his screen. 

“There’s got to be something,” Charles mutters, turning his attention back to the hangars. “Lando, why do you have a box full of sticky notes?”

Lando freezes, blood turning cold. He whips his head to look at Charles. “Wait!” 

Charles, predictably, doesn’t listen and scoops a note out of the box. He looks back at Lando, a mischievous grin on his lips. “All these notes are from Oscar.” 

Lando’s fucking doomed. He sinks into his chair. He wonders if he could survive a three-story jump from his window. Probably not. 

“This is cute,” Charles continues, looking thrilled as he goes through the notes. “You saved all his notes.”

Lando covers his face with one hand. “I look like a stalker.” 

Charles nods in agreement. “A bit, yeah.”

Lando groans. “Fuck.” 

“Mate, it’s more cute than stalkerish,” Charles says, placing the shoebox on the bed. Then, as an afterthought, he adds, “I think.” 

Lando lowers his hand from his face. “Do you think he'll be freaked out if I tell him?”

“Oh, definitely.”

“Charles!”

Charles grins. “Kidding.” 

“You are the worst.” 

“You’re easy to tease.” 

Lando huffs, watching as Charles continues to go through the notes. He doesn’t care that much that Charles is looking through them. It’s not like there’s anything scandalous written on the notes; they’re all just little reminders and things like that. 

“Don’t forget to eat,” Charles reads from an orange note, looking up at Lando. “That’s sweet.” 

“Charles, I swear if you’re—”

“No! I am being serious!” Charles interjects, waving his hands quickly, the note slipping from his fingers as he does so. Lando leans down to pick it up. “It shows he cares!” 

Lando’s lips twitch. “Yeah.” 

“Alex does the same thing for me, you know,” Charles begins, finally setting the shoebox aside. Lando feels a little relieved at that. He didn’t want Charles reading every single note. “She texts me all the time to make sure I’m eating.”

“She’s your girlfriend,” Lando points out. “That’s a common thing to do, no?” 

Charles smiles pointedly. “Oscar is not your boyfriend.” 

“He’s just being a good roommate,” Lando downplays. 

“I do not think my freshman year roommate could have cared less if I lived or died,” Charles says dryly. 

“Okay, well, you just had a terrible roommate then.” 

“When I was living with Pierre last year, he didn’t leave sticky notes out for me either.”
 
Lando inhales. “Is there a point to this, Charles?” 

Charles hums. “There is, yeah.” 

“Then please tell me.” 

Charles gives him a look. “You know why I am doing this.” 

“I don’t,” Lando lies. 

To Lando’s surprise, Charles doesn’t continue the bit. He just chuckles, getting back to his feet to continue going through Lando’s closet, leaving Lando to his thoughts. 

He knows, of course, that his situation with Oscar is probably unique. He’s not sure how many roommates leave sticky notes for each other practically every single day. Texting is almost certainly easier and the practical communication method. But, funnily enough, Lando and Oscar don’t actually text that much. 

If Lando were to look through his thread with Oscar, he’d see messages, but there wouldn’t be a lot. They really only text each other if one of them isn’t home and there’s no other way to communicate. And since they literally live together, they talk in person rather than on their phones. 

The sticky notes—well, Lando thinks the only way to describe them is intimate. Using them makes things feel a lot more personal. Lando can’t really explain it; that’s just the feeling he gets. 

Charles sees it too. 

Oscar is not your boyfriend, repeats in Lando’s mind. 

No, he isn’t, but sometimes, if Lando thinks about it long enough, it feels like Oscar is. 
 
He could, like, make a PowerPoint about it or something. Title it “Why Oscar Is My Boyfriend But Also Isn’t”. He’s tempted to actually do it, almost. He and Charles would certainly have a good laugh over it. Lando probably wouldn’t be able to get through one side without immediately losing it. He would try to be serious at first but would inevitably start to giggle just at the unseriousness of it all. 

“Why are you smiling?” Charles’ voice makes Lando look up. 

“Nothing,” Lando shakes his head. 

“Oscar?” Charles theorizes. Lando just shrugs. It’s an answer. “You got it bad, mate.”

Lando is well aware of that. “I know.” 

“I am going to help you.”

Lando blinks. “What?” 

“I am going to help you confess,” Charles declares proudly. 

“Absolutely not.

Charles pouts. “Why?” 

“What if I tell him and he actually thinks I’m crazy?” Lando asks, heart twisting at the thought of it. 

“I highly doubt he’ll think that,” Charles says, and his voice is soft when he says it, nothing sarcastic in his words. 

“Then what if I tell him I like him and he doesn’t feel the same?” Lando continues, feeling himself beginning to spiral. “It will ruin everything, Charles.” 

“I mean, you do not know that for certain,” Charles responds hesitantly.

Lando gives him a look. “Right, so, hypothetically, in a universe where you and Alexandra hadn’t gotten together, and you told her you liked her, and she said she didn’t feel the same, things wouldn’t be different between you two?” Charles remains quiet. “Thought so.”

“It is scary,” Charles says after a long moment of silence. “I get not wanting to ruin things. I was worried about that too.”

“But things worked out for you,” Lando points out. “You got the girl.” 

“Only because I confessed,” Charles replies. “Sometimes, you just have to go for it.” 

Lando bites his lip. “What happens if he doesn’t feel the same?” 

There’s a sad smile on Charles’ lips. “I think it is better to try than to stay quiet. Maybe he feels the same way.” 

Maybe. Maybe Oscar does. Maybe he doesn’t. Lando won’t ever know unless he does something. 

He wishes it weren’t this hard to decide what to do. 

(Deep down, he knows what he should do is obvious.) 

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The art show is nice. Alexandra’s paintings are beautiful, and even if Lando has trouble understanding their meaning, they’re still breathtaking, and the dedication poured into them is obvious. 

Lando gets back to the dorm late that night, and when he walks inside, he’s not expecting to see Oscar and a girl sitting on the couch, their legs brushing as they watch a movie. When Lando gets close enough, he sees it’s Lily, one of Oscar’s friends. 

Oscar turns. “Hey, Lando. How was the art show?”

Lando’s brain is still hooked on the fact that Lily’s here and she’s close to Oscar, almost tucked against him, and there’s a movie playing with a bucket of popcorn off to Oscar’s side, and it hits Lando that he probably just interrupted a date. 

“Lando?” 

Lando comes back to himself. “Good—really lovely, yeah.” 

Oscar pauses the movie. He gives Lando a look. “Everything alright?” 

“Fine,” Lando lies through his teeth. “I’m gonna head to bed. Nice to see you, Lily.” 

“Night, Lando,” Lily says softly. 

Oscar doesn’t say anything. 

Lando can’t get to his room fast enough, nearly slamming the door shut when he’s safely inside. He hastily shrugs out of the really nice wool coat he’d worn to the show, a coat he never remembered ever buying, but he must have since he had it. Or maybe it was a gift from his parents? Lando isn’t entirely sure. He kicks off his shoes next and then collapses onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

His chest hurts. It sort of feels like the one time he took a rocket of a ball to the chest during a game of dodgeball in high school. Except this hurts even worse. He almost can’t breathe. 

He thinks he might be overreacting. He doesn’t actually know whether Oscar was actually on a movie date with Lily. But the only thing that really makes sense right now is how he hates seeing Oscar with someone else. Someone that isn’t him. 

He wants to be one up against Oscar’s shoulder while watching a movie. He wants to be the one reaching into a popcorn bowl, his fingers accidentally brushing against Oscar’s. He wants. 

He flips over to lie on his side, glancing at the board above his desk to see multiple sticky notes pinned. The sight usually makes him smile. Tonight, it just feels like his heart is splitting in two. 

He gets up. Unpins the notes. Tosses them in the trash can. 

He hates how it feels like he’s done something terrible. 

Maybe he has. 

He falls back onto the bed, covering his eyes with his arm. He isn’t tired anymore. He’d been a bit drowsy when he got home, but that all went away as soon as he saw Oscar and Lily. It was a wake-up call. Literally. 

Lando knows what he’s missing. It’s a terrible feeling. 

A knock on his door startles him. “Lando?” 

Lando's fingers dig into the sheets. He doesn’t say anything. He hopes Oscar will just leave. He doesn’t know why Oscar’s at his door anyway. Lily is probably waiting for him. 

“Lando?” Oscar calls again. 

Lando remains quiet, which is strange for him to do because he always wants to talk to Oscar, but right now he doesn’t. 

“I, uh, just wanted to see if you were alright. You seemed a bit off when you got home, so.” 

Lando’s chest tightens. His grip on the sheets does too. Of course Oscar noticed. Acting like everything is fine is going to be a hell of a lot more difficult now. 

“Just—if something happened, you can tell me. I’ll be here.” 

Lando can’t do that. It makes everything so much worse because Oscar is being considerate and sweet and he just wants to help, but Oscar can’t do anything to make this better. 

“Goodnight, Lando.” 

Lando listens to Oscar’s footsteps fade. That hurts too. 

He doesn’t cry. What is there for him to cry over? 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

When Lando opens his door the following morning, there’s a sticky note on it. 

Hope you feel better. There’s a box of cinnamon rolls on the kitchen table. — Oscar 

Lando peels the note off and walks into the kitchen. There’s a box on the table. Lando doesn’t touch it. He isn’t hungry. It might be the first time in his life he’s rejected cinnamon rolls. 

He turns toward a drawer, pulling out a pad of sticky notes. He and Oscar keep them everywhere. He writes a simple message: Wasn't feeling that well but thank you. You can have them. He leaves the note on the table. 

Then he gets ready for the day. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He ends up going to Charles’ because being miserable with someone else is better than being miserable alone. He knocks once, twice, then waits. The door swings open after a moment. Charles is standing there, holding Leo, one eye shut as Leo attacks his neck. 

“Lando, what are—Leo, stop eating my hair—you doing here?”

Lando snorts in amusement. “Does Leo always do this?” 

Charles sighs deeply. “Yes.” 

Charles steps aside, letting Lando into the apartment. They move toward the couch in the living room, where Lando collapses. Charles gives him a look as he sits down.

“You look kind of sad,” Charles notes. “Everything alright?” 

“No,” Lando groans miserably. “I think Oscar’s got a girlfriend.” 

Charles’ eyes widen. “Oh.” 

“My life is ruined,” Lando declares dramatically. Leo wanders over to him, a turtle toy in his mouth. The mini dachshund drops it in front of Lando, looking up at him expectantly. Lando huffs, tossing the toy in a random direction, probably with a little more force than necessary. It felt good, though. 

“Do you know the girl?”

“It was Lily.” 

Charles furrows his eyebrows. “I thought they were just friends?” 

“I guess they aren’t,” Lando mutters, throwing the toy again when Leo brings it back. 

“How do you know they are dating?” 

“They were watching a movie when I got home last night.”

Charles stares. “You think they are dating because they were watching a movie?”

Lando takes a moment to consider that. Now that he’s thinking about it, it does feel pretty silly to assume Oscar’s dating Lily just because they were watching a movie together. 

“Okay, well, when you put it like that, maybe I overreacted,” Lando admits. 

Charles groans, rubbing his face with one hand. “Lando, you fool.” 

Lando gasps. “Hey!” 

“No, no,” Charles shakes his head, pointing a finger. “You are the one who jumped to an insane conclusion just because Oscar and Lily were watching a movie together.” 

Lando grows defensive. “We still don’t know if they’re dating!” 

Charles gives him a dry look. “Maybe you should find that out.” 

“What? I just ask him if he’s dating Lily?” 

“What else would you do?” 

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” 

“Because then Oscar would ask why I’m asking and then I’d have to tell him I’m asking because I want to date him,” Lando responds in a rush. 

Charles blinks slowly. “And that’s a bad thing?” 

Lando’s first instinct is to say yes, but he stops himself. It wouldn’t be a bad thing. He’s been wanting to tell Oscar everything for a while now. Lily had been the wake-up call for him. He doesn’t want to lose Oscar to someone else. 

“No,” Lando says quietly.

Charles smiles gently. “Should probably go then, yeah?” 

Lando gets to his feet. “Yeah.”

Charles rises too. “If you need me, you know where I am. Hopefully you won’t need me though.” 

“Hopefully,” Lando agrees with a weak smile. “Thank you, Charles.” 

“Go get him, mate.”

Lando plans to. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Oscar isn’t home when Lando gets back, which is completely fine since it gives Lando some time to think about how he’s going to go about this. He’s pretty sure he has a good idea about what he’s going to do, though. He thinks the sticky notes will be very telling when he shows them to Oscar. 

Right now, he’s going through the notes, looking for a specific one, the very first one Oscar gave him. Looking at it now, Lando can’t believe what it’s turned into. Just one note and it changed everything. 

But Lando thinks he would have fallen for Oscar anyway. 

A knock on his door makes him look up. “Lando?” 

Lando takes a deep breath. “I’m here.” 

A pause, then, “Can I come in?” 

“Go ahead.” 

Lando doesn’t move to hide the shoebox. Not anymore. The door opens and Oscar walks in. He looks relieved to see Lando. Or maybe he’s relieved Lando let him in. Maybe it’s both. 

Oscar’s lips move, but the words never leave since his eyes find the shoebox. “Are those…” 

“Yeah,” Lando confirms. 

“You kept them all,” Oscar says in wonder, eyes drifting upwards. 

Lando glances away shyly. All he can say is, “Yeah.” 

Oscar starts going through the notes, and Lando watches him, heart racing. Watches the smile spread on Oscar’s lips as he reads the notes. Watches how his eyes soften at certain ones. 

Oscar eventually turns back to Lando, reaching for his hand. “Come on.” 

Lando moves, almost in a daze, too busy freaking out over the fact Oscar’s holding his hand. His grip is warm yet firm and it feels so nice. 

They end up in Oscar’s bedroom. Oscar disconnects their hands, which has Lando immediately missing the warmth. Oscar opens a desk drawer, pulling out a clear plastic container that’s clear. Inside the container are colorful sticky notes. 

Lando’s jaw drops. “No way.” 

Oscar smiles. “I kept your notes.”

Oscar hadn’t thrown them away. They meant as much to him as they did to Lando. 

“Why?” Lando hears himself asking. 

Oscar sets the container down. “For the same reason as you, I’m hoping.” 

Lando’s heart thuds. “Which is?” 

Oscar doesn’t answer. In fact, he completely turns his back on Lando, and Lando begins to panic, but then he sees what Oscar’s doing, sees the note Oscar rips from a pad and the pen he grabs. Oscar scribbles something down, and then he hands the note to Lando. 

I like you — Oscar 

Lando breathes out a laugh. He feels moisture beginning to gather in the corner of his eyes. He takes the note from Oscar, holds it to his leg, and writes a quick response under Oscar’s. He hands the note back with trembling fingers. 

I like you too — Lando 

Oscar’s grin is blinding as he turns back around, grabbing another note. It takes him a bit longer to write this time, but Lando doesn’t peek. Oscar hands him a red sticky note. 

Will you be my boyfriend? — Oscar

And underneath the question are two unchecked boxes, one for yes and one for no. Lando hastily grabs the note, laughing the whole time as he checks off the yes box. It’s so ridiculous, so middle school, and Lando loves everything about it. 

“Really?” Oscar asks, and there’s a shake in his voice. 

“Yes,” Lando says. “Yes, Oscar.” 

Oscar moves one hand, reaching up to brush a thumb over Lando’s cheek. Lando closes his eyes, savoring the feeling. Now that he knows what it feels like to be touched by Oscar, he doesn’t want to ever forget. 

“Open your eyes,” Oscar requests softly. Lando does. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” 

Oscar doesn’t move right away, studying Lando with intense eyes, like he’s picturing how he wants the kiss to go. It feels like an eternity before Oscar’s lips are on his, but once they are, Lando feels like time freezes. Lando is certain that he’s never felt something as amazing as this. 

It’s everything. What more can Lando say? 

Oscar separates from him but keeps their foreheads pressed together. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

Lando’s eyes widen. “You’ve been wanting to kiss me?”

Oscar looks amused. “Well, yeah. I just said I liked you, didn’t I?”

“You wrote it, actually,” Lando corrects just because he can. 

Oscar chuckles. “I guess I did.”

Lando glances at the note that’s still in his hand before looking back at Oscar. “I’m really happy.” 

Oscar moves one hand to rest loosely around his waist. “You should always be happy.”

“As long as I’m with you, I will be,” Lando responds, grinning. 

“Guess you’re stuck with me then,” Oscar murmurs, lips ghosting Lando’s. 

“I’ll want you for a long, long time,” Lando says, lifting one hand to wrap around Oscar’s neck. 

Oscar’s eyes sparkle. “And I’ll want you for longer.” 

Lando kisses him again and he can’t wait to keep doing it.