Work Text:
"We did it! Ralsei, we did it!" Susie jumped up and down in joy; they had never seen her act that way before. It made them smile, which they hadn't been able to for many days.
Their foe had almost instantly dematerialized, leaving behind only faint particles of darkness that were receding into the ground as they watched. A small puddle of shadow had accumulated in the center of the arena, but it, too, was evaporating into dark effervescence. Ralsei had fallen down across from the two of them on the opposite side of the arena, and he walked through the detritus without worry. "Susie, I--"
"I know, Ralsei." She put her hand behind her head and looked back at him softly, dropping her axe to the side. "This means we won't be able to see you again."
His head drooped, and the light no longer illuminated it well enough to make out his expression. "That's right. I'm so sorry."
She approached him and grabbed him into a mighty hug, lifting him just off the ground. He squealed in delight and wiggled around in her arms. "C'mon, dude. We've only got a little while left together and you're gonna be mopey? That's not the Ralsei I know."
"Hahahaha, you're right, Susie!"
They stood there and watched Susie and Ralsei's embrace, realizing that it would be the last time they'd ever see him. Their SOUL had returned to their chest after the battle, but it had begun to thump, thump like a beating heart.
Susie put Ralsei back down on the ground, and he adjusted his clothing to fix its ruffled look. "I want to talk to Kris for a moment. Give the Darkners a memorable goodbye, won't you?" She saluted in response and walked off towards Lancer, who was jumping and hopping at the edge of the arena.
Ralsei approached Kris and reached out his hand; they took it, automatically and wordlessly. The two both walked together down some stairs and off to the side overlooking a cliff. There was a little nook, away from the rest, near the last SAVE point, which they nudged away from instinctively. Ralsei sat down on a rock, positioned conveniently next to another; they sat down beside him without hesitation.
He crossed his legs together, then fixed his dress. "As you know, Kris, the SOUL will only be with us for a few more minutes, and I wanted to tell you something before I had to leave."
They nodded.
"It... It's really tough saying this. I had hoped we'd be able to subvert the prophecy. Everyone did, really. No matter how much we've come to rely on ourselves, us Darkners really do owe everything to you all."
They nodded again. It wasn't quite right. No one owed anything to them, certainly not Ralsei, but they pushed the thought aside. For now, they were glad that he had taken control of the conversation.
"I wanted to be there with you to watch you grow up. To see you go off to college, like you'd always talked about. I hoped to meet Asriel, and... well, maybe it wasn't all a great idea. But that's what I wanted. You taught me to think about that, Kris." Ralsei put his hand to the side, rubbing it along the rock.
They watched his hands diligently, no longer holding eye contact. It was too difficult. They didn't want to know what he was thinking, and he was always a little obvious.
"Not just you, of course. Susie, too, and even Noelle and Berdly and all of them. If I could, I'd stay behind, and keep everyone company forever. To help you whenever you needed. It just feels right."
It was getting hard to look away from his face. Maybe it really did feel right for him. They didn't know how much it mattered, but they didn't want to know the truth; they buried their face in their hands.
"Kris... Susie told me you'd always wanted to go to college for game development. Is that right?"
They nodded, even through their hands.
"That's great. I know you're clever, and really creative. I was really hoping I'd get to hear you play piano more, but... well, we just don't have the time, I guess."
Their fingers twitched. The thought disgusted them. They wished they'd shut the piano lid on their fingers like they had always been afraid of as a child after watching that horror movie.
"Before we met, when I heard you playing the first time... that's why I had always wanted to sing. Did you know that? I don't think I mentioned it before. It's a little hard to admit, but it's true. Maybe I modelled myself on you just a little too much, hah." He looked away with a mournful look in his eyes, at least so much as they could see out of their obscured vision. "Is that really such a bad thing?"
They felt a palpitation in their chest. No, no, not now. They forced their hands against their chest, and it burned red-hot, like their skin was going to melt. With all the force they could muster, they shook their head vigorously. Ralsei, mercifully, noticed, and accepted it as an answer.
"I'm glad you don't feel that way, but I still feel guilty about it. Just the same way I feel about how everything here ended. I should've been strong, but... well, maybe the Prophecy just wasn't meant to be broken. Maybe that's the best we all could've done."
The heat had subsided some, and they pulled their hands away from their chest; they clung to the sides of the rock like a life raft.
"How do you feel about it? I don't want to burden you with an emotional response, but I just can't bear to leave without knowing that you're alright with everything."
Before they could react, their SOUL burst out of their chest.
They reached out, channeling all of their will into their SOUL. They only had a few minutes left in its clutches, but those same, pitiful minutes were all they had left with Ralsei, too. It pulled forcefully in one of the two directions, then the other, as if any of this mattered to it. They knew it didn't. It was vengeful, like they'd done something to it. The burning in their chest erupted as they pulled at it like a lasso, forcing it away from the two options and down to the bottom. Silence.
For all he knew about the Dark Worlds, it didn't seem like Ralsei had ever understood what went on with the SOUL. They wanted to keep it that way, but it made it so difficult, especially now. He simply looked on in shock as they refused to comment, struggling with themselves like a freak. The SOUL drifted back down into their chest, and for now, its temperature turned a bitter cool.
"I- It's okay. I know it's hard to put all this into words. Don't feel pressured, alright?"
They nodded. The words weren't the hard part, but he would never understand. Or rather, he couldn't. It wouldn't be right to tell him. His face shifted, and his smile fell off. He could always be serious when he needed to be, but now he seemed to drop all pretense of humor. They could think of no other words to describe how he looked beyond 'somber.'
Ralsei pushed off the rock and walked toward them, making his typical slow and steady steps. They still had a few minutes, but they could tell his usual composure had faded some, the vaguest sense of rush visible in his movements. He kneeled down beside them, kicking off some dust around his knees, then looked them in the eyes. They averted the look, and they could see his sorrowful look deepen. "Kris, I can't hold it in anymore. I need to tell you something."
They nodded.
"A few days ago, in the Sanctuary, I talked to you about how I felt, how I thought I always had to repress myself. How I always felt like I had to smile. Do you... remember what you said?"
They shook their head, even though they remembered. It just wasn't them who had said it.
"You always know what to say."
He's lying. He couldn't really believe that. They shook their head again.
"No, really, you do." He scooted forward a little; his paws almost touched their legs. "You... mean the world to me."
They didn't respond. They couldn't even look him in the eyes.
"K-Kris? Are you alright?"
They nodded.
"I just... I don't know how to tell you how much I care about you, or to make up for all that you've done. But, I have something selfish to ask, like I said. Susie said it would be alright to ask it."
They kept staring, still avoiding looking at him directly. Their eyes almost bulged out of their head. They knew they only had a few minutes left, but it felt like an eternity was stretching out in front of them, and only darkness was at the end of the tunnel.
"Not even really a question, just... well, I just wanted to tell you that I really, really liked being with you. Maybe even more than I should have. Maybe even, well..." He trailed off, and scooted forward again. "Susie told me what it was like when she was with Noelle, and it all sounded so familiar. Exactly like how it was when I was with you."
The burning returned. They felt it radiating through their veins, up and down their chest and to their shoulders. Their fingers flexed reflexively, as if it had triggered their neurons. They nodded.
"And I just wondered..." He stopped for a moment and twirled some of the long fur threads on his head between his fingers, looking away bashfully while looking almost distraught. "Is it possible that you thought the same of me?"
The skin at their chest collapsed in a pitfall, bringing their fingers along, and the SOUL emerged from the crevice.
If they squinted, they could see the faintest hint of a wire coming from them out to the SOUL. They'd noticed it a few times before, but never this clearly. They grabbed onto it and pulled and pulled, but it resisted, even more strongly than before. It shook and deliberated between the two options once more, almost setting on one. They planted their feet deep into the dirt and struggled to keep hold of the wire.
Thinking quickly and with great difficulty, they wrapped part of the wire around their finger, then made one final attempt. The SOUL became dislodged at once, and they flung it downwards once more, landing again on silence. It floated back down to them, and they were made whole once more.
"That's..." They once more averted their eyes, unwilling to see the pain wrought within his. "You don't need to answer, Kris. I promise it's fine." It wasn't fine. They heard a pitter-patter on the dirt below him, and it wasn't raining. He wasn't shy of crying, but he would never admit it. He moved away some from them, settling cross-legged on the ground. "We still have a few minutes, right?"
They nodded. The thump, thump, thumping in their chest certainly hadn't subsided; they had time.
"T-that's good. Um, it's just, it's going to be hard living so far away from all of you."
They nodded again. At least they wouldn't be able to hurt him anymore. They'd never be allowed to say that.
"This last week has been so exciting, and I'm so glad I got to spend it with you, especially. That's all I meant."
They nodded once more.
His speech had grown more laboured, and they could almost hear the sobbing through his voice, but he was still strong for them. "I prayed so hard, Kris. I prayed every moment I could. And... they didn't listen. No one listened. The Angel didn't listen, the... he didn't listen. No one did. I'm sorry. I promise I did."
They shook their head. He did pray, but he was wrong still. Someone had been listening.
"Maybe I should be glad it wasn't worse. I was being selfish, wasn't I? So many other versions of the Prophecy could've existed. So many where you... where you and Susie were hurt, or where the Light World ended. Perhaps having to go away isn't such a bad tradeoff."
They shook their head vigorously. There was more to the tradeoff than they could tell him.
He looked back at the circle. "I think we're running out of time, Kris."
They nodded. They shook their head. They nodded. He didn't really even notice.
"Do you..." He cut himself off. They could just barely make out his fingers awkwardly fumbling with one another. "Maybe this is silly, and I don't want to stress you out, but, do you have any last things you want to say to me? Before I go? You don't have to."
They had almost given up on fighting. It burst out of their chest one last time; now, it felt almost pained, like it had lost something. Maybe it was regret, or maybe it just knew that they wouldn't let it make its choice, and it had resigned to its fate the same way Ralsei had.
They struggled again, but it was the same outcome.
Silence.
It was all they could say, or do. Nothing.
"I-"
They didn't want to look, but they had to. He was in front of them. They were just a camera, and they always captured everything. They had to watch him. His eyes contorted, his face broke down, just for a moment. Then it all tightened up. Like nothing had happened, he returned to how he had always looked. Ralsei, smiling. Beaming, even. It was just Ralsei.
"Y-you're fine, Kris. It just... it isn't right. It wouldn't be right, would it? I see, now. Thank you for showing me." He always looked them in the eyes when he spoke, but he wasn't then. He looked past them, off into the chasm behind them, where nothing was.
They didn't want to nod, but they did. It was easier than speaking.
Ralsei didn't say anything else before making his way back to the circle. There was nothing left in their little crevice, so the SOUL guided them back behind him. They got to see all of the Darkners standing off to the side, crying and celebrating, with Susie in the middle. "C'mon, Kris. We're all as ready as we'll ever be."
A glowing spot appeared in the middle of all of them, just a meter away from Susie. Their final destination. But, they didn't walk there. It puppeted them around one last time, interacting with every last Darkner. They gave their twee little goodbyes, but they couldn't bear to listen, or to respond as they wanted to.
After several painful minutes, the SOUL finally brought them into the circle. It rose out of their chest, leaving behind its warmth for the last time. They almost instinctively reached out to grab for it, to stop it from doing any more damage, but they knew it would be wrong to do so. It was doing what it had been brought here to do. They watched as it flew up to the Dark Fountain and hovered there, glowing and shaking, sending out pulses of energy into the world.
They glanced over at Ralsei, standing with the rest of the Darkners, where previously he had been between them and Susie. For just a second, they saw him looking their way out of the corner of his eyes, but when he noticed them looking over, his gaze drifted away.