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Nothing. That’s how it was, how it always was. She felt nothing, and her memories? Long gone. For a very long time it had been this way. She didn’t know how long of course, long enough for the way people spoke to change drastically though. Long enough for anyone she had known before becoming a l’Cie to be fully decomposed and nothing more than nutrients for the earth now. Not that it mattered to her. She didn’t remember anyone anyway, and even if she did, she’d still be incapable of mourning for them.
Even the people she met recently were forgotten. She’d see a face, then forget it. Unless the crystal told her, reminded her. That rarely happened though. It would only happen if that person was important to her focus. The crystal didn’t actually speak to her really, but if there was someone that was an important aspect of fulfilling her focus, she’d feel it, and sometimes, a name would come to her. Once they played their part though, she’d forget again. She’d have no desire to speak to them and she wouldn’t think about them. Their face, their voice, their name, all forgotten, because they were no longer important.
Except for one man. He was the exception. The man she stood beside right now. Slightly taller than her, silver hair and tan skin with a scar running down the left side of his face by his eye. He had nice eyes, she thought, a nice shade of blue, and they were fierce and focused. She thought that she would probably like those eyes if she could like something.
Caetuna could sense that he was a l’Cie, like she was, one branded by the same crystal. How long had he been one? Were his emotions and memories completely gone like hers were? She didn’t know, and even though she didn’t care about the answers to these questions, she couldn’t help but think them. It was strange really, she didn’t think these sort of things around anyone else. Was this man important to her focus? No, the sensation she had around people that were important to her focus was much different then what she was experiencing right now.
This sensation, what exactly was it? Why was she even feeling it? It wasn’t all that strong, this… whatever it was, but it was something Caetuna wasn’t used to, so it stood out to her. If she had to explain it to someone, she’d probably say it was something like familiarity, like she knew him. Did she know him though? Caetuna couldn’t remember.
"Thou art… familiar to me…" She was looking at him now, waiting for a response. Caetuna’s thoughts wandered to what he could possibly be thinking right now. Was he feeling the same sensation she was?
When he didn’t respond, she assumed the answer was no. She turned her attention to what was before her once again, the sky and the land, flat and seemingly endless, both of them. Then she felt something touching her hand, holding it. Caetuna brought her attention back to him and he was looking at her now. After looking into his eyes for several moments, she let her eyes wander to her hand, which he was grasping in a slightly awkward position. The sensation she was feeling seemed to have doubled now. It was a stronger feeling. Without a second thought, Caetuna adjusted her hand so she could lace their fingers together. This was a much more comfortable position, she thought.
Caetuna brought her attention back to him and saw that he was still looking at her, but he was smiling a little now. Did that mean he was indeed feeling the same sensation she was? Did it feel stronger to him now too after he had grabbed her hand?Any verbal answers to those questions didn’t matter. She could almost read it on his face that he was feeling it as well. Smiling back, she gave his hand a little squeeze, then almost at the same time, the two returned their attention to the blue sky and the expanse of land in front of them.
Caetuna was still smiling, though she didn’t realize it. She had decided that the sensation she was feeling right now, standing next to this man and holding his hand, was an important one. It didn’t matter how it was important. She couldn’t care why she felt it and she no longer questioned it. Caetuna was positive that she felt this way because she had known this man at some point in her past. That the two of them had some significant relationship, a bond, that somehow managed to break through their lost emotions. There was no memory involved, it wasn’t there, she still wasn’t able to remember. But this feeling was strong enough to go beyond her broken memories, to let her know that he was someone important to her, without her having to remember anything.