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what if the way you hold me (is actually what's holy) by therogueskimo
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
06 Aug 2026
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Summary
Eddie swallowed hard, his throat aching from nearly an hour – or maybe days – of trying not to cry. Everything that happened since he moved to Texas six months ago, and everything that happened since moving back, descended upon him all at once, and it was heavy, and all he wanted to do was put it down or let it crush him, whichever came first.
And if he managed to do the former? If he did the scary thing and admitted it all? If he allowed himself to go to that place, that part of himself that he’d hidden away all these years? He could lose everything he’d fought to keep these last few years. He wasn’t sure if it was worth it.
Eddie blinked, praying that the tears in the corners of his eyes would stay right there. The breath he drew in was ragged. He never should have come here.
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Eddie Begins Again – the one where Eddie reflects on the painful relationships of his past and comes to terms with his sexuality and his feelings for his best friend.