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Teio, Suzuka and Special Week. Not a common trio, huh?
'Why is Teio not with McQueen?' you might find yourself asking.
Personally, I hear it helps to get more than two sentences into a story before asking questions. But no judgement here. Since you just couldn't wait…
An all-expenses-paid luxury trip by train to various locations across the country.
The corridor between the cabins was rather narrow, and as such, Teio had collided with an orange-haired Umamusume.
"Oh my God! These stupid chestnuts!"
"T-Teio! You can't call them that anymore!"
Teio turned back to Special Week, mouth full of trail mix.
"Who the heck designed this packaging anyway? You want some?"
"Oh… nevermind."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Though, maybe don't eat those on the winning podium. Reporters might find your reaction a bit of a buzzkill."
"We're not in Hokkaido anymore, Spe-chan."
"Yeah, I've been told… Stupid language coaches."
"Where we are is a train with private, soundproofed cabins, overlooking the landscape for several hours. With my very own roommate Special Week… and Teio, I suppose."
Suzuka wrapped her arm around Special Week's shoulder, glancing at Teio from over her shoulder.
"Hey, Teio? Not that I or Suzuka mind—"
"I never said that."
"—why are you with us and not McQueen?"
Teio swallowed.
"Hm… Well…"
A Mejiro is elegant.
A Mejiro is dignified.
A Mejiro does not have her tail jammed in a train door.
McQueen shuffled in place, her phone in hand. The surrounding civilians exchanged whispers, but none possessed the confidence to approach her.
As expected. Gravitas is gratis for Mejiro McQueen. Perhaps that was why some of them had formed a small audience, some with their phones very subtly angled in her direction.
Who even designed these doors to slam shut immediately in the first place? McQueen had some choice words for the people responsible for her plight.
It matters not the circumstance. I must maintain decorum.
She tugged her tail one more time, verifying that it was indeed stuck in the doorway.
An… unfortunate situation, and even more unfortunate timing. The tea she had delivered to their cabin was going to go cold.
I could always ask Teio to bring it here…
No, McQueen must wait. The social fallout would be immeasurable. For the greater good of the Mejiro name, her pristine, in-house, warm peppermint tea must be sacrificed.
She must. Not. Move.
"Mmm… Yeah, I got nothing. She just told me to go ahead, so I did. And now I'm here!"
"Yes, quite fortunately."
"Of course it was fortunate! I can talk to my good friends Special Week and Silence Suzuka!"
"Well, now's a good time to rendezvous with McQueen. In the meantime, Spe-chan and I have... much to talk about."
"Not that we wouldn't want you arou—!"
"Much. To talk about."
And, quite unceremoniously, Suzuka pushed Teio outside before shutting the booth doors.
She shrugged before running through the corridors.
Teio can work something out!
"Hey, McQueen. McQueen!"
Teio. With the unbridled enthusiasm and the thirst for attention that could beat the resumes of one thousand puppies combined, she grabbed McQueen's hand.
"Let's explore! Come on, the booths are so cool!"
"…"
See, typically you'd expect a little more excitement to explore a deluxe transport vehicle with your significant other for the first time.
Especially the coolest, cutest, most miraculous significant other ever!
But for the sake of today's story, McQueen wasn't budging.
"McQueen?"
"Teio… perhaps not now."
"Well, why is that?"
"I have noticed I possess a certain affinity for interior vehicle architecture."
"The architecture. Really."
"Indubitably so. The beautiful, strong supports. The… the noble lines of the poles."
"…more of an affinity than for your girlfriend's adorable face?"
"Not more, per se. It may be more accurate to say a parallel aesthetic appreciation."
Teio paused.
"…Well, we can see that interior architecture from our booth! Come on, let's go!"
She tugged on McQueen's hand again.
She wasn't budging.
"Come on, McQueen! What are you waiting for? Will you move if I give you a kiss?"
Teio brought her face closer to McQueen's and closed her eyes.
McQueen looked on longingly before tearing her eyes away.
"Perhaps this is more the kind of activity I choose to partake in… alone. Teio."
"A-alone? No… You don't mean…"
"I'm sorry Teio, but—"
Clothes dishevelled and faces red, Spe and Suzuka were both determinedly avoiding eye contact with Teio.
"And then, sniff, she said that, sniff, that she didn't want to talk to me!"
"Oh, I see! Um! S-special Week has something she would like to say to you."
"N-no, I don't! In fact, I think Suzuka has been in this situation before! You should ask her!"
Special Week and Suzuka shared simultaneous glances.
"Well, I will admit this is strange."
"Yeah, I know, right! Seriously, what's up with her—why is there lipstick on Spe's neck?"
"Makeup mishap. She can get very clumsy." Suzuka said, rubbing it off with her sleeve.
"Y-yep! That's me! Clumsy old Spe!"
"Greedy too."
Teio considered the implications of her surrounding circumstances. McQueen wasn't moving. Spe and Suzuka were definitely on her side.
"Hey, you guys can help me! If I can't get her to move, I bet all three of us could!"
And Teio beamed at the two incredulous Umamusume in front of her.
"Sorry, Teio. I don't think Special Week wants to—"
"Oh, I'm willing to help Teio! It's only fair she gets to spend time with her girlfriend too—"
"Special Week doesn't want to."
"No, really, we're all here to have fun! I think they deserve it!"
Suzuka's eye twitched.
"Come on, Suzuka! McQueen and I are missing out on so much! We could kill hours with that king-size bed alone! If the springs don't break, that is."
"Teio! Ew!"
"Yeah, maybe jumping on the bed is a bit too childish for her. But my point still stands!"
"Right. Well, as much as Spe and I would both love to help you, we have our own… activities to look forward to."
Teio sat up straight.
"Suzuka. This is a matter of rivalry. I can't just allow McQueen to dominate me!"
"Doubtful."
"Come on! That's just what it means to be rivals!"
"Not too sure about that one."
Special Week frowned.
"Suzuka, I think we should help her! She just wants to talk to McQueen! Wouldn't she do the same for us?"
"If she were in this precise situation? She and McQueen wouldn't stop for a burning building."
Suzuka looked at Special Week's shining eyes, then back at Teio, before sighing.
"Well… do you at least have any plans in place for now?"
"Yeah, plenty! Just watch this."
"McQueen! Look at me!"
Teio walked over to McQueen, chest puffed out.
"I'm going to hold my breath until you move. If you don't, then your adorable girlfriend will die for sure, and it'll be your fault."
McQueen didn't look up from her phone. Suzuka seemed to be holding her head in her hands.
"Fine by me."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Dammit!"
Coming to consciousness, she was once again in the cabin, face to face with Suzuka.
"…Well, I'm out of ideas."
"So, exactly what part of that required us to be there?"
"It was a stressful ordeal! Moral support is important, Suzuka!"
"Was it? Or did you just need somebody to catch you when you fell?"
"It's under that same classification!"
Back in another cabin…
"Scarlet?"
"Yeah?"
"So I've been having some trouble recently."
"I'm not bailing you out again. I only have so much in race winnings, Vodka."
Vodka put her hands up.
"No, not that! Why the hell would you assume that I got arrested?"
"Pavlov effect, I guess."
"Yeah, well, that's not it. They haven't found anything damning yet, anyway."
She pulled out her phone.
"No. This osu level is kicking my teeth in!"
"Vodka, we're in a luxury train! Get a grip, you addict!"
"Come on! Just this one level, then we'll have all the cakes you want!"
"Yeah, fine, give it here. And I never said anything about cake."
Vodka and Scarlet both traded glances before Scarlet began tapping away at Vodka's phone.
"Hey, why d'you think McQueen is just standing alone outside? Teio's probably losing her mind."
Scarlet didn't look up.
"Her tail is stuck in the door. I saw when I went out to get ginger snaps."
"…Does she know it's a push door?"
"Probably doesn't know, definitely isn't our problem. We'll tell them if they ask."
"…Teio, these plans are terrible."
Teio had pulled in a whiteboard and was drafting multiple different approaches to reclaiming McQueen.
"Really?"
"Absolutely."
"Even the one where—"
"Especially the one where you cry until she gives in."
"Well, that's where the firecrackers come in! See—"
McQueen was actually having quite a bit of fun. Seeing Teio swing by so often, at least she knew for sure that Teio desired her company! Not that it was ever in question, per se.
Though she did feel a little guilty. Maybe it was just time to call staff…
Her phone rang. She answered.
"Yo, McQueen! You want to check out my cabin real quick? I got that one baseball player you like tied up in here! He says he wants to meet you!"
"You mean to tell me you've kidnapped Yutaka Take and are currently holding him in your cabin."
"Yep."
"In the middle of the Japanese country."
"Yep."
"Thousands of kilometres away from his current place of residence."
"Yep."
"In Australia."
"Yep. So you should come over here sooner rather than later if you want to see him! He's not going to stay in this suitcase forever!"
"…Seek help, Gold Ship."
McQueen shook her head, hanging up.
"Well, I'm out of ideas."
"Why the heck did you think that would work?"
"How many of your plans have worked, Teio? The innovator is always called insane!"
Now regrouped in Gold Ship's cabin, the four were faced once more with a fascinating intellectual challenge.
"Hmm…"
"Hmm…"
Special Week stood up from her seat.
"Come on, guys! I know the chips are down, but we can't just give up yet! Teio and McQueen need our help!"
"I'm not sure McQueen really fits that 'needing help' bill, Spe-chan."
"Oh, I know! You know who we haven't asked yet? Our good friends, Scarlet and Vodka!"
Teio's head twitched.
"Yeah… I don't know about that one, Spe."
"Why not?"
She shuddered.
"I'd rather not think about what stuff those two do when they're alone."
"…calling the kettle black, don't you think?"
"What was that, Gold Ship?"
"Hm? Oh, nothing. I guess McQueen'd be the one leading anyway."
Teio sighed.
"I guess we can go ask them. But Suzuka's knocking, not me."
"I'm reluctant too. Why do you think I'd agree to—"
"I'll leave you and Spe alone afterwards to do whatever you want."
Suzuka stood outside the cabin, hand poised on their door.
Knock knock!
She waited. They all stared at Suzuka. Suzuka stared at the door. They stared at the door. The door remained a door.
Suzuka knocked again.
No response.
"…"
Suzuka placed her ear to the keyhole, where she could distinctly make out speech.
"…Oh, Scarlet! Y-you're almost there!"
"Quiet, dummy! I-it's a sensitive part!"
"Just think about the cake, Scarlet! Think about the cake! Damn, your fingers are flying!"
"What else did you expect? I'm number one!"
Suzuka moved her ear away, her gaze affixed to a point far beyond the walls of the train.
Teio peeked from behind Gold Ship.
"Well? Are they coming or not?"
"…In a sense."
"The heck is that meant to mea— oh."
"Yes. Um. Steer clear."
Suzuka grabbed Special Week by the arm, not quite walking, more so running away.
"Gold Ship, what do I do? If I don't get McQueen to move now, how will I ever look her in the face ever again?"
"Oh, yeah, for sure. I heard that rivals who can't get their other halves to move get the guillotine in the Tracen courtyard."
"I'd rather get the guillotine… Just one more time, if I could just feel her soft porcelain fingers inside my—"
"Woah! There are kids watching! Chill out!"
"—hair. God, she's so good at using her hands."
"…Good enough for PG, I guess."
They sat side by side, Gold Ship still not quite too sure what to say.
Teio put her hands on her face, leaning backwards.
"Maybe I just have to accept reality. McQueen is fading… from my life."
"Well… I can think of one more approach. It's cleaned up a fair few spills for me in the past—"
"GASP!"
Teio stood up.
"I know the problem! Thanks, Gold Ship!"
She ran outside, with zero explanation whatsoever, leaving Gold Ship in her room on her lonesome.
Gold Ship sighed, flopping onto her bed.
"And here I was about to suggest tear gas. What do you think, Yutaka?"
"Mmph!"
"Oh, shut up."
She kicked the lockbox beneath her.
"McQueen's gained a tolerance for it anyway. That's what I get for reusing pranks."
"McQueen!"
Ah, she's back!
"What is it, Teio? Have you come back with another scheme? Unluckily for you, I have no plans on—"
"I'm so sorry!"
Teio got down onto one knee, grabbing McQueen's hand in hers. A fiery blush immediately appeared on McQueen's face as she tried to pull Teio up.
Eep!
"Teio, everybody's watching!"
She wasn't budging.
"I know why you aren't moving!"
"Y-you do?"
"Yeah. I figured it all out."
…Well, it seems that my time has come. I can at least save some face.
"…The doors really are unreasonably fast."
"What? What are you talking about?"
Teio pulled out a small porcelain cup.
"I was talking about this. Your peppermint tea, the one you were so excited to drink…"
Teio wiped a tear from her eye.
"I spilt it! I'm so sorry, McQueen!"
"…"
"B-but I'll buy you another one! I have… enough money, and it's more than worth it to see your face again!"
Teio widened her eyes.
"Please, McQueen? W-we can cuddle for the rest of the day! You can be the little spoon this time! I know you like tha— I mean, we can play games! I'll be player two this time!"
The crowd gave an audible aww, seeing McQueen fluster about for a response.
"Come on! You can't just deny her after all that!"
"She's putting her heart on her sleeve! You can go back to her cabin now, can't you?"
"Say yes!"
"Say yes!"
Sweat pooled on the back of McQueen's neck. Teio was still kneeling on one knee, with the porcelain cup in her hand.
"Teio… the reason I haven't moved is because… I can't!"
"Wh-what do you mean you can't? Don't tell me…"
She stood up.
"Is this… a breakup? Y-you hate me so much that you can't go back with me?"
"No! Unquestionably not!"
McQueen groaned in frustration.
"It's my tail! It's… Oh, for goodness sake, it's stuck! It's stuck in the door, Teio!"
Teio blinked.
"No way. Your tail is stuck. In a train door."
"Yes! It is! Poke fun at me all you wish, but I've been incapable of moving for nearly an hour!"
A smile slowly grew on Teio's face.
"Don't smile."
She suppressed a giggle.
"Don't laugh either. In fact, don't do anything but call a member of staff, please. This has been a very compromising situation."
One nearby civilian started clapping.
"Any person here who speaks of this to anybody, whether a news outlet, or their newborn child, I promise I will personally destroy your lives."
They stopped.
"Ok. Uh, I'll go get someone now."
Teio hurried off, covering her face from the public, her red face betraying her actions.
She ran into Scarlet and Vodka, walking next to Suzuka (whose hair was entirely undone) and Special Week (whose headband had seemingly vanished).
"Told you my fingers can't be beaten! I'm number one!"
"Yeah, yeah. Brag all you want. I still can't feel my hands."
Teio recoiled.
"…Don't misinterpret this as me wanting to know what you guys were doing, but why did you leave your rooms?"
Suzuka responded while retying Special Week's Tracen ribbon.
"Police came. Something inane about a kidnapping of a major cultural figure."
"Who do they think did it?"
In the distance, the sound of a window breaking and a tall individual galloping away at top speed could be heard. The side doors opened, several other figures spilling out in hot pursuit.
"We're not sure. Spe, we're going for round two."
"Th-that was only one round?"
"Teio interrupted us. It counts for less."
Teio let out a frustrated groan.
"Oh, come on! When am I gonna get my turn with McQueen?"
"Wait, you still haven't figured it out?"
"Figured what out?"
Scarlet walked over to McQueen, who had her eyes trained on her phone.
"McQueen. Push the door."
"The mechanism is surely electronic. I see no reason for such a simple solution to—"
Scarlet pushed the door open with one hand, freeing McQueen.
"…"
"Yeah, nice going. Anyway, the checks are probably done by now. We can go back to our rooms."
"You hear that, McQueen? We got a room to ourselves!"
"…Yes. I confess, I'm excited too."
"Perv."
"You're one to talk, Scarlet."
"The hell does that mean?"
Teio, and subsequently McQueen, stopped walking.
"What I MEAN is that—"
SLAM!
"…"
"…"
"…"
"McQueen."
"Yes?"
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did just hear the train doors close behind us."
"Indeed."
"With…"
Teio looked behind her.
"…Both of our tails stuck."
"Yes."
"The automated, non-pulling, non-pushing doors."
"…Perhaps."
"With… three hours to the next destination."
"…"
Teio sighed, sliding down the wall. McQueen followed suit.
"…Well, you're the expert. What happens now?"
"I suppose in this predicament, I'd wait to be freed."
"…Right."
The other Umamusume had returned to their rooms already, leaving Teio and McQueen in the dust.
"I guess knowing they were just playing a rhythm game makes it a bit better. But who the heck talks like that if that's all they're doing?"
"Yes. I'm sure if it were those two, it was quite difficult to hear."
They linked arms, sitting on the floor, with their tails still decidedly stuck.
"Well. Might as well make the most of it, right, McQueen?"
"Of course. You came back, after all."
"…"
"…"
"…This is great."
And at this, McQueen smiled, the first one Teio saw on her girlfriend all day. She rested her chin on top of Teio's head.
"I would have to agree."