Chapter Text
"Obāsan! Obāsan! I finished drawing. Come take a look at it!!"
"…Obāsan? Obāsaaaaaan!!"
"I'm done already. I wanna show it to you before I go home!"
"Obāsaaan!!"
The girl takes a look around the huge studio, hoping that her teacher is still in the studio. A quick glance to the front of the room reveals nothing. She must be off somewhere in the building.
Oh, fishcakes! Where could she be?
The staircase at the end of the house is really big and it makes her tired just getting up the first flight. Why do grown-ups need to have things which are super humongous?
Whatever. Just please don't be all the way up there, the girl silently hopes.
She needs to make it back before the sky gets dark and dinner gets served at home. Otherwise, her mom will nag at her endlessly while she eats (guh, no cartoons!). And then her brother is going to steal all the katsu from her plate and dump all the carrots to her—
No, no. It's not gonna happen!
"OBĀSAAAAAAN!!"
A few coughs stab through the air as if perfectly in cue. Finally!
There's a faint voice coming from the kitchen, followed by shallow footsteps. Her teacher is walking towards her with a glass of water in her rough, calloused hand. She looks a little tired, but the girl doesn't really catch that.
She just really, really wants to go home and eat.
"So loud! You're going to make my poor ears drop! Have some mercy towards this old lady, for heaven's sake." Her teacher finally gets to the table and drags a chair to sit down. "What do you need, Fumisa? And why are you standing there? Come have a seat."
She doesn't say it, but Fumisa is grateful for the offer. It's been tiring walking up and down that house for the past ten minutes.
Hmph!
"I finished the drawing you gave today." She passes the sketchbook over. "The other kids drew their landscapes so fast, but not me, obāsan! I spent a lot of time on the buildings and the big tree outside so it's cooler than all those other guys.
"Her teacher softly raises her hand to silence Fumisa. As she looks at the sketch, she mentally jots down a few things. Shading, perspective, colour choice…
Fumisa did show a lot of care towards her details. Unfortunately, the rest of her components are a bit of a hit and miss. The houses in her sketch look like a patchwork of things thrown together, while the tree is fighting to stay visible in the centre of it all.
A solid try, but she is spending too much time on a small thing. Definitely…
Her head starts to swoon a little. She feels her eyes fighting to stay open. Damn it, didn't the doctor say that the pills are supposed to help her stay awake? Pills, pills—
"Obāsan? Obāsan, don't fall asleep!"
"I know, I know. Just give me a moment." Seriously, where are those pills? They should be in her right pocket— or is it the left one? God, her memory is getting worse these days. There have been some serious near-misses with the correct day to host her classes.
Ah! Found it.
She pops them from the pill and gulps them down quickly. A splash of water soon follows down the hatch. Now, where was she?
Hmmm…definitely…
"The details are nice. I can see that you've spent a lot of time on it and for your level, it's not bad." She places the sketchbook down. "But have you thought about the rest of the drawing? Here, look closely."
There's a pen holder at the centre of the table. She grabs a ruler from it and motions Fumisa to watch.
She taps the ruler on the page. "See here, your shading is a bit inconsistent. It's lighter on this side," More tapping. "But this part over here is pitch black. Too dark. It makes the shadows look strange."
"Next, your perspective. Objects tend to disappear from your view as you move to the sides. Have I taught you how to mark points for that?"
Fumisa just shakes her head. "Obāsan promised to have it last week."
"Did I?" Her teacher sighs. "Dear me…"
She'll have to check her notebook again later. Didn't she also look through them again over last weekend?
"Let's not worry about it. Now, your colour…" She hums as she takes another look at Fumisa's sketch. "You used a lot of orange for your sky."
Her student nods. "Yeah! I know obāsan asked us to draw a normal, blue sky, but…" She looks down.
"The sunset today is super, super beautiful! It was really orange and the sky and clouds also became orange itself." says Fumisa. "And it was also pink and blue and a bit of purple…oh, maybe I forgot to add those colours in as well."
Her teacher just smiles in return. "You're aware of what improvements to add in, that's good. But I also want to ask a question."
"Fumisa, what do sunsets mean to you?"
The girl in front of her merely stares back."Sunsets are really pretty, like I said! But night comes after sunset. I have to do homework at night every day and then sleep early for school. I don't like that, obāsan! I wanna play and have fun and go to your classes, obāsan."
"So you don't like sunsets?"
"I do!! But no more fun happens after sunset so I hate that as well. Wait, does that mean I don't like sunsets more? Ugh, it's so annoying!"
Her teacher laughs. "You don't have to pick a side. Give it more thought, okay?"
Fumisa only shrugs. Sometimes, obāsan says the strangest things.
Their discussion gets interrupted by some noises outside the front gate. It sounds like a car is pulling up.
"Is that Dad? I wanna see, I wanna see!" Fumisa grabs her sketchbook from the table and runs to the front door, much to her teacher's (mild) annoyance. Oh, that girl.
She chuckles to herself. She really is just like…
"Have you collected all your things? Your mother is getting a bit worried, you know."
Fumisa holds up her bag and shows it to her father. "All here, including my sketchbook!"
"Alright. Wait in the car, okay?"He watches his daughter race off before facing her teacher again.
"I'm so sorry for troubling you. Has she been doing okay…?"
"She is, don't worry. Very hardworking as well. We were talking about her newest drawing before you arrived."
The man before her quietly exhales in relief. "That's great, yes."
Now, a slight pause. Each of them struggle for a moment to find the right words to continue the discussion. Finally, she speaks up again.
"She doesn't have the skill just yet, but she has the heart for being an artist. I hope she will keep drawing, even if it's just a hobby."
Fumisa's father widens his eyes just a little. "Really? It makes sense, I suppose. She talks a lot about her drawings at home. Her brother keeps telling her to pipe down." He concludes with a laugh.
"When I was her age, my own brother was just as annoying if not more. She has good company." She sighs, smiling.
"Whatever happens, I want Fumisa to know that drawing should be something she enjoys and not a job. It doesn't need to be perfect as long as it can make her smile."
"I'll keep that in mind."
He looks back in the direction of his daughter. The last rays of sunlight are finally giving way to the moon and stars above. The city readies itself for sleep, patiently waiting for tomorrow to arrive.
"I won't keep you any longer, then. Have a good night."
He nods and bows slightly.
"The same to you as well. Have a good night, Shinonome-san."
In all honesty, Ena doesn't know why she asked that question.
The immediate answer she settled for was "curiosity". When that answer didn't work out, she figured that she asked to simply pass the time…ah, no. That doesn't sound right either.
Maybe it's both?
Seriously, it's nothing new. She's been teaching for what, two decades? Or was it three? Either way, it's definitely long enough for her to have seen it all.
And Fumisa is a kid. Kids have their own priorities, do they not? It's a more carefree life - being able to just worry about schoolwork and having fun. Most don't need to really question the bigger things within the world around them. Well, not at that stage anyway.
But still she asked. Why?
Why?
…
These eyes just won't stay open…
Ugh.
She's getting more tired - Ena knows this about herself. It's difficult for her to go about the house without feeling the need to sit down. And her art classes…
She can't ever let her students know that she's failing to keep up. That she sometimes forgets their names. Or the way she misplaces her materials and does not realise it until she starts painting.
They turn them into fun moments when they happen. She'd laugh at her own errors and invite her students over to brainstorm. What sort of object or scene would fit this mess? Let's hear it!
Ena cherishes the moments she has with them. And she's quite confident that they share the sentiment as well. But masking those missteps feel like an even bigger admission to herself about the inevitable.
She is declining.
The anguish in her chest forces her to sit down at the living room sofa, leaving her in absolute silence. Ena stays that way for a while. Wallowing, wallowing.
It must be strange to see an old person worry this much about leaving this place.
Mizuki finds her sitting alone in the dark not long after.
"Ena…? Are you alright?"
No reply. She walks down the stairs into the living room. Then Mizuki flips the switch and sure enough, light fills the room in quick order. Ena squints and shuffles in her seat.
"The lights…they're so bright. Mi…Mizuki? How long has it been?"
"I heard the car leave about half an hour ago, so about that much." She sits next to Ena."You look tired. Have you taken your medicine?"
"The damn pills don't do anything, Mizuki. What a lousy doctor! I swear, they just give you anything these days. And then they still give you bad news after you do everything right…"
Mizuki sighs and leans into Ena's shoulder. "You still have to take the pills, okay? I can be there to remind you."
"Hmph. As if you're not my age."
"One year younger than you still." Mizuki pokes her finger into Ena. "And I'm also the faster one, so…"
Ena groans before turning to face Mizuki.
Please god, spare me the antics of this woman.
"You make it sound like you can still sprint a damn marathon. I'll let you know that I stopped to get toothpaste for us while you hobbled to the counter with all our groceries! Seriously, what happened to 'till death do us part?'"
Mizuki just laughs. "That's not always true. Your bad breath does the same job quicker."
Oh you! Ena can feel her blood pressure rising almost literally. Even with a one year difference, she somehow manages to be so annoying with it.
Honestly…
Ena just slumps into the sofa. "God, to think that we've been married for thirty -seven years. Married to the most annoying person on this planet…"
She feels a kiss on her cheek. When she turns to look at her, she finds Mizuki holding her hands in theirs, lightly swinging them around. And oh, oh, Ena's heart still does a tiny leap deep down. How can she not?
This is Mizuki after all. There's something light and playful in her smile. It's never changed over the years. The day she graduated from university, their wedding day, and then buying this house...
But Mizuki can also be protective and considerate. Mizuki has been there for some of her worst days. Like the drought in her early career. Her mother's funeral. The day the results came back: Unable to bear children.
They will get through it together, no matter what happens. Because—
"Ena…" Mizuki's voice falters. "It's forty-seven years, not thirty-seven."
Her reverie stops.
Because…!
Because!!
She feels herself tearing up. Mizuki notices and brings Ena towards her.
"I'm sorry. I forgot. I-I'm so sorry. I don't know what's got into me." Her grip on Mizuki feels like iron. She clamps down even harder. "I'm okay, Mizuki! I-I'm okay. I don't want to go. Please, I'm not going without you! I can still remember things!"
Ena sobs. And sobs and sobs and sobs. Because here it is - the inevitable, again!
Her wife strokes pats hair in silence. The rhythm of it calms Ena down a little, but it can only do so much. Not with how often she makes all these mistakes. It feels so crushing.
"Mizuki, I—"
"Shh. I know." she replies. "I know. I trust you."
Mizuki watches on. Ena takes a while to catch her breath before nodding.
Silence. Silence. Silence.
"Want to talk about something else? Clear your head."
Ena closes her eyes and tries to remember.
"Fumisa stopped by for class today. Showed me another drawing."
Mizuki listens. "Another sketch?"
"Yeah, just the usual landscape. She was so quiet and stayed behind for so long that I almost thought everyone left. Until she started shouting. Seriously, that kid…"
Ena just shakes her head. Kids really get louder the older you get.
Why hasn't this become the topic of some research paper yet?
"I asked her something. About how she sees sunsets. And well—" Ena sighs. "I really don't know why I asked a kid this. I mean, I know how it's going to end up but still."
She is pretty sure as well, Ena thinks, that she can probably predict the other sort of responses that could have been said at that moment. What were they now?
"Sunsets are parting. They illustrate the pain of letting someone go."
"Sensei, I think sunsets signify a time to rest. There is no more daylight to work with, so people use that time to recover before tomorrow."
"Sunsets end a cycle, sensei. Most myths talk about it like that, I think I believe in it as well."
Ena gets up. She starts to pace around the room, thinking.
"So why did you ask her?"
"I was curious." The reply arrives instantaneously - of course it does. "And I wanted to pass the time as well. This house gets quiet when you take your naps in the evening."
"Really? That's it?"
Ena pauses in her tracks.
No, maybe not. All the more so considering she's still talking about it now. Yet after listening to so many different opinions in the past, what could stump her like this? If it isn't a new answer she's looking for, then what?
…
"I'm just asking. You've always been the type to take feelings into consideration. Even if it's an old one."
An old feeling?
"I don't know, Ena. Thinking out loud."
Oh. I think…
"Maybe you're right." Ena returns to her seat. "I don't know. I'm still a bit tired—"
GROWWWL!
"—and maybe hungry. Someone beside me definitely is." She smirks.
Mizuki gets caught there. "Fine, fine. We're having dinner now." She gets up from her seat and waits for Ena.
Maybe that's it.
"Come on. I'll grab the dishes from the fridge. Go heat the soup for me, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah."
As they move to the kitchen, Ena finally reaches her epiphany.
They have so many different ideas because they are still young.
They are excited about it for that same reason too.
There is always going to be time for them to explore and understand new experiences as they walk this path.
But what about her? This old lady who's already reached the end of it all?
It's a terrifying thought to have, and now she gets it. There's no guarantee of another new experience when she must finally close her eyes. Her journey may very well end there.
At long last, Shinonome Ena's chapter in life will draw to a profound close. One last sunset before night falls.
…Ah, so that's it.
That's the thing she's been trying to understand. The comfort she's been looking for this whole time. All while fighting against this fog that slowly envelops her mind…
It's poetic.
I want to remember what that excitement feels like.