Chapter Text
Being inside Peter Parker’s mind was a strange thing. He was the only person who had ever been able to keep her out, so being let inside felt similar to how she thought a sheep might feel walking into a lion’s den. Not because she thought that he could do anything to her (at least she didn’t think so), but because she was finally finding out who Peter Parker was.
Whenever she took control over someone, she gained an almost immediate sense of who they were, kind of like the description you get when you click on a character in a video game. Sometimes she would find someone interesting, but most of the time, she found scared, sad people who were just trying to make it through life.
But Peter Parker… he was different.
In many ways, he was similar to the hundreds of others she had inhabited. Scared, sad. Just trying to make it through life. But there was something else about him that she didn’t expect.
His aunt’s love for him.
The way that May had looked at him, had looked at her- she knew that look hadn’t been for her, but she felt loved, even if it was for a moment.
Peter Parker had so much love to give, so much kindness and compassion that Jean didn’t think she’d ever felt in a person.
Maybe that’s why he was Spider-Man.
Now, she was sitting in the memory of Peter’s childhood bedroom, holding herself close while Peter sat beside her. His consciousness was so precise, so controlled. He was in control. It was strange. This was probably what it would have been like to be in Sarah’s mind, if she had ever gotten that chance.
“Jean, you don’t have to do this alone.” Peter said. “Trust me, I tried, and it doesn’t work.”
“But- I have no one.” Jean’s voice involuntarily broke as she put her head in her hands.
There was a moment of quiet.
“You have me.”
She slowly lifted her eyes, and as she locked them with Peter’s, she realized with her heart in her throat that he really meant it. She could feel it in his mind, see it in his eyes. He wanted to be there for her. Be her friend. Maybe even family.
She felt the hold she had on the city waver as her eyes filled with tears.
Jean was furious. She was so, so furious. Furious that Sarah had been taken away from her by evil, cold people who didn’t care if they killed a little girl. Furious that her mother had abandoned them, that everyone seemed to abandon her.
She just wanted to be loved. Loved how May had loved Peter.
Was that so wrong?
“Peter-“
Something changed in Peter’s face that made Jean stop mid-thought, however. His eyes widened, and his brows furrowed in… fear?
Something was wrong.
“Peter-?”
Suddenly, Jean felt herself being shoved out of Peter’s mind. She didn’t think she would ever get used to someone being able to stop her.
She stumbled back into the real world, dazed and confused, and before she knew what was happening, his arms were around her, and they staggered backward, like an unknown force had hit them.
A sharp inhale escaped Peter’s mouth and Jean’s hands automatically flew forward, one landing on his chest, the other on his back. They almost immediately slowed to a stop, and Peter immediately pulled back as he grabbed onto her shoulders, scanning her body frantically.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Peter’s eyes were crazed in a way that scared her.
What was happening right now?
“No- no, M’ fine.” She assured him, getting more and more confused by the second.
Peter let out a shaky sigh of relief.
She realized one of her hands was wet though. Confused, she pulled it away from Peter to inspect it.
Red.
Her stomach dropped.
Blood.
A lot of it.
Horror bloomed in her chest as she looked back up at Peter, her mind realizing what had just happened.
“I’m okay.”
“Peter-“
“I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay-“
It was as if his body had also just made the same realization, because Peter’s eyes unfocused, and he let out one ragged breath before falling to the ground in front of her.
“Peter!!”
She went down with him, hands hovering over him uselessly as her heart pounded in her ears.
“Peter- Peter-“ She didn’t know what to do.
“No, no, no, no, no-“
He let in a shaky breath. Blood was starting to pool around him, fast. He was getting paler by the second.
Peter was dying.
He was dying for her.
“Jean- Jean you gotta get out of here, they’ll be-“ His eyes were going in and out of focus as his body started going into shock. “They’ll be looking for you.”
“No no no no no, just- please just stay with me-“ Her eyes welled with tears. “Come on, hold on, come on please-“
His eyes suddenly focused on her in a way that made her gasp. He took a gulp of air.
“You’re-“ He swallowed thickly. “You’re gonna be o-okay. Just go”
Absolutely not.
When he had fallen just seconds ago, she had had no idea what to do. But she could feel how her powers had evolved, how she had gotten more powerful. And somehow, something in her knew exactly what to do. Jean didn’t have a clue, but her mind, her body… she let it do the work.
“Peter- look at me.”
It took him a moment, but eventually he seemed to gather the strength to hold her gaze.
Without any hesitation, she took a deep breath and jumped.