Chapter Text
“You don't have to die this way!!! KINJO, JUST STO–......” He yelled in panic, dashing to the steps up, but froze almost immediately.
At the last second, Maeda saw him smiling a bit as he closed his eyes.
Kinjo tightened his grip on the gun.
He pulled the trigger.
Maeda felt the chill going down his spine.
Blood.
There was so much blood. He couldn't make himself look at it, even though it was not the first nor the second time he did that. He couldn't look at the person lying in a pond of bright crimson.
Realization slowly started to hit him. It made him sick. The entire world around Yuki turned dull. It was unsettling, empty. Cold. A searing cold gripped his throat and chest, it ached to take even a small breath in. His head felt fogged, heavy and stuffed with something blocking all his senses. His vision blurred at the edges.
“.........Kin……jo……………..?” It sounded more like a trembling breath than anything coherent. Yuki himself was trembling, too.
How could this happen so… so easily, so fast? How could this happen to Kinjo of all people? How could this even be real?
It can't be, right…? It's not actually real.
“......Is this a joke…?”
A very, very sick joke. There was no other possible way. Kinjo was not that kind of person to die from just a bullet. It was not enough to kill him. To hurt him, yes, but not–
The body discovery announcement. Monokuma's disgusting smug voice filled the silence through the dynamics. Others seemed to talk about something but it was just a background noise to Yuki. Everything started to piss him off. Tsurugi Kinjo was not dead. Injured, unconscious, and with a massive blood loss. But still alive. It had to be like this, right?
Because the very thought of him dying felt utterly wrong.
So, he needed to help him. Monokuma couldn't be trusted, especially at that moment. Yuki stood closer than anyone to Kinjo, just a few steps away. Just a few steps…
His feet didn't move. They felt leaden. With every effort he made to move, his body shook only harder. As he finally noticed his own condition, sounds around him started to get clearer too.
“......-no point in this class trial. He just died with his own hands, man…”
That damned bear… When did he even get here? More importantly, would he finally stop speaking nonsense?
“.........He didn't.” Maeda whispered in a small hoarse voice. It hurt to speak but he couldn't care less. He couldn't stand any of this any longer.
“Huh?”
“He didn't die… Kinjo isn't dead.” The words were like a lump in his throat.
Teruya and Akane tried to say something, probably willing to comfort him, yet none of them was able to find the right words. Well, it didn't matter. Maeda just needed them to see the truth and help him to give Kinjo first aid as soon as possible.
“Come on guys, I mean… we can't be so confident in Monokuma's testimony, no one even checked Kinjo! I'm sure he's alive, he can't die that easily.”
“Oi oi oi!!! Listen here, Maeda-kun!! I know you're feeling bad right now but that doesn't give you the right to slander my job! There's no way you can live after putting a bullet on your head. You'd understand that if you were using your own one, pu-hu-hu.”
“T-That…” Something was beginning to burn inside him. After complete numbness in his mind, the annoyance Maeda felt that instant was overwhelming. “The bullet could be defective! And there were cases when people survived after this so he will too!”
Quick, quick, quick!! Get out of my way, you stupid bear!!!
A sigh from behind.
“Stop it, Maeda. It's already over...”
Maeda slowly turned his head to the voice. He would never ever think of Mekaru for any reason taking the side of the mastermind.
“I doubt that Kinjo is lucky enough for such a miracle. We couldn't understand his heart, and we couldn't stop him. …That's just it.”
Seriously? He cocked his brow in disbelief. The small flame inside touched his heart, filling it with poison.
“...We couldn't?” What an audacity. Especially from her. “Speak for yourself. You never even tried to. Actually, none of you had! So don't you even dare to say that!”
“M-Maeda-kun…”
“But I did. I tried to reach him, I tried to stop him, I'm trying to help him right now and you're not! Hell, I am the only one here who ever talked to him like a person!!”
“Hey dude, c-calm down, we all feel the same-...”
Oh dear God.
“NO YOU DON'T. I KNOW HIM! AND I KNOW KINJO WOULD NEVER DO THAT! HE WOULD NEVER DIE HERE, HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME IN THIS F-F-FUCKED UP PLACE!!! HE PROMISED ME!!!”
Maeda turned away and rushed to his friend, almost losing his footing. His whole body was still shaking violently, throat and lungs aching from raising his voice. But it didn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
He could fix everything. He just had to check Kinjo's heartbeat and let everyone know he was right and then everything would be fine. Kinjo would be-
Yuki tried to lean down to him and fell to his own knees. His legs really were failing him. Someone gasped behind him. Monokuma laughed nearby. Whatever. At least he didn't hurt Kinjo. Actually, that way it was way faster. He only needed to find his pulse. Yuki reached his hand to…
To what?
Where do people usually check their pulse? On the wrist? On the neck? Chest?
He didn't know what to do. Maybe it was just stress that messed all his thoughts up, but Yuki couldn't remember how to do that no matter how hard he tried to focus. Did he even know how to, in the first place?
His breath quickened, causing him agony every second. Yuki finally looked up at Kinjo's face. His messy blue bangs got soaked in the deep red, framing the rare calm, relaxed expression of his. If not for the rills of blood and slightly opened eyes, Yuki would think he was just sleeping.
Without thinking much he brushed other's cheek with his fingertips, desperately looking for any glimpse of warmth and life left under the touch.
Please, be alive. Please, stay alive, Kinjo. Please…
Kinjo, please……
Don't leave me alone, I beg you… please stay……
Huh?
Kinjo was looking at him.
Yuki blinked, eyes widened.
Kinjo was still looking at him.
It was as if he could hear him pleading and… and it worked. Somehow.
Yuki blinked once again. And again.
Kinjo's gaze then drifted lower, where Yuki's fingers were resting on his face, silent huff escaping his lips.
He's…alive……
“...............Kinjo……” He breathed out silently.
Normally, Yuki would be embarrassed by such closeness, but he couldn't even care. So instead he cupped Kinjo's face in both his hands this time.
It was warm. A pair of scarlet eyes darted back to Yuki, and behind a thick layer of tiredness, he found some faint sparks of confusion and relief.
“.....Kinjo.”
He is alive.
And in one moment the world around him turned back to normal. He felt his shoulders going slack and his mind clearing up. He felt the ice melting away from his chest, leaving no burden; he could breathe again. Everything was fine again.
“Kinjo! You're alive!” Yuki repeated and let out a choked laughter. He was trying to process the recent events, so much had happened in such a short time, it was too much to handle for him.
But things ended up alright, so he could think about it later. Kinjo in his arms was everything that matters now. Yuki couldn't stop smiling and crying.
W-Wait… Huh? When did I start crying? I didn't notice that… oh well, nevermind.
He wiped tears away with his shoulder, not wanting to break their touch. Kinjo tried to raise his palm closer to Yuki's, but the latter only shook his head.
“Easy, easy.” He said with a small sob. “Don't waste your energy. I'll help you get up, a-and then we'll get you treatment. It's all gonna be okay, just… just wait till then, okay? Just stay with me.”
Kinjo muttered something that could be an agreement. Yuki then shifted their position awkwardly, placing his arm under Kinjo's shoulder blades. He wasn't strong, really, and it was close to impossible for him to get a man bigger than him on his feet, but Yuki wasn't thinking about it. He was not in the right state for that, even.
Not without Kinjo's help, they finally stood up. Yuki let out a sigh, followed by another sob.
“There we go. The infirmary is not so far, so hold on a little longer, okay? I, I'll figure something out.”
“My, my, myyyy, and where is it we are heading to this late at night, huh? You know that moving the body outside the murder or the investigation is prohibited, right, Maeda-kun~? Not to say that the infirmary is already clooosed!!”
“Monokuma!”
He had absolutely forgotten about it. The monochrome robot was standing in his way down the steps with a wide grin.
“If you're gonna leave us just like you did back then with Kurokawa, then get out of here!! Stop speaking bullshit or help him!”
“Oh boy, did you not hear me? Who am I supposed to help? That dead cop you're so weirdly attached to? Pu-hu-hu, don't be so silly-willy!”
The fire of pure anger and irritation lit up again. Even tears dried up in Maeda's eyes, which now were narrowed. He pulled Kinjo a little closer, holding him tightly.
“What. Are. You. Talking. About. He is not dead. Enough with that fuss.” He said through clenched teeth. He hated that he had to waste their time on something stupid like this.
Monokuma was about to say the most useless thing again, but gladly was interrupted by a rushed sound of heels.
“Maeda, his right wrist.”
Mekaru…? What took her so long?
He met Kinjo's eyes, raising one brow, and after receiving a weak nod, helped him to lift the hand up. In one movement she rolled up his sleeve and pressed one finger down his wrist. With a puzzled look, Maeda studied her face.
Mekaru had her common stoic expression, the same she did when studying clues, but the cold sweat gave her away. It made him feel uneasy again. He'd never seen her that concerned over something as trivial as an injured classmate. Suddenly she lifted her gaze up, adjusting her glasses, and looked right into him with a frown deeper than usually. Why? He heard ringing in his ears the second she said:
“No pulse.”
His heart sunk into the darkness. Why would she ever say that? Why does she look so serious? He didn't understand. His head hurt insufferably.
A weak pat on shoulder snapped him back to reality. Right. Kinjo was still there. And he had to take care of him. He looked into those scarlet eyes, clinging onto that grounding reassurance, the only one he had.
“It's not funny.”
“...?”
“Look, I'm- I'm sorry for yelling at you all a little earlier, but it's really not the time for stuff like this.”
“I'm not joking around, Maeda. I'm serious - Tsurugi Kinjo is dead.”
Lie.
“That's what I've been saying this whole time!! Can't believe it took you so long to realize, God.”
Lie. Lie. Lie.
The temperature dropped a few degrees. He dug his fingers deeper into the blue shirt. It was ridiculous.
“And I'm serious, too. Don't you see his face? He's conscious, he can't be dead!!”
As he said that, Kinjo let out a long exhausted sigh, resting his head on top of Maeda's. His body went limp.
I need to hurry.
Whispering a quick apology, he stepped forward, trying to ignore Mekaru and Monokuma's annoyed shouts. The anxiety grew faster and faster in his chest. He didn't understand, why did everything turn out this way?
Another step.
Why did everyone act so strange? Why did no one listen to him? It was hard to move.
And another one.
His head hurt. The vision darkened. He could think about it later. His head hurt. It burnt. The ringing in his ears got louder. Think later. Not now. He pulled Kinjo even closer.
And anothe–
Maeda stopped. Someone stopped him. He looked up at the person in front of him.
No… please don't…
“Maeda-kun… Please come back to your senses. You're scaring us right now.”
Akane held his hand in hers and watched him with tearful eyes. She seemed terrified. He felt a sharp pang at heart. What did he do to upset her so much?
Please, not you too.
“I know that you know the truth already, somewhere deep inside. You have to accept it, Maeda-kun, for all of us. We need you.”
Maybe it was hell. The hell where even Akane was against him. And where Kinjo was dying in his arms. Yeah, it seemed to be true. His personal hell.
“.........Let me go.”
“Eh? N-No!! It's too dangerous to go alone in your state!”
“Akane, please, if you're not gonna help, just let me go.”
“I'm trying!! I really want to help, but… but I don't know. What else do I need to do for you to come back to your usual self? How can I help you, Maeda-kun?”
He shut his eyes down for a second and took a deep breath. Tried to, at least. He could endure the pain, but his patience had almost vanished away.
“Yuki, seriously, stop. Ya not the only one here who'd lost their friend, so ya need to stay strong. If ya keep acting weird, then… I don' think we can ever escape from here.” Teruya added, coming from the behind.
When did he?.. No, it doesn't matter.
Maeda removed his hand from Akane's grip while her attention switched to Teruya, and took a small step aside.
“There's nothing wrong with me, it's you. You guys are… I don't know why you are getting in my way, but it's not like you to leave a man behind.”
“What? Are ya out of your mind or what??”
“I'm talking about Kinjo! I don't get it!! Why do you all treat him like a dead person?!!”
“Cuz he is dead, Yuki! Suck it up already, I don't know what kinda things ya seeing but it's NOT REAL. WHEN WILL YOU FINALLY FACE IT?!”
He was about to throw up. Nonsense. It was absolute nonsense. At what point did it become so hard to stand?
“KINJO DIDN'T DIE!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE IT??? YOU'RE JUST MAKING FOOLS OF ME FOR NO REASON!”
“I SWEAR TO GOD, YUKI, IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR MOUTH, I’MA-”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, let’s wrap it alllll up already! I'm getting bored with this.”
Oh fuck.
The silence was deafening.
“It’s time for kids to go to bed! You can continue your little stage play tomorrow morning, alrightyyy~?”
After saying this, Monokuma turned his head to Maeda with a content, nauseous smile. Maeda drew Kinjo to himself, despite his displeased huff, trying to shield him with his own body.
“Don’t…”
“Eh, no worries needed, Maeda-kun, I won’t make him any worse~ I just need you to go with me, pu-hu-hu.”
He took a step back. Monokuma stepped forward.
The black metallic paw was dangerously close. He tried to move away. His body didn’t listen.
He tried to move. He couldn’t.
He couldn’t.
He couldn’t.
*pop*
The very next moment everything disappeared. It was dark. He saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing. As if he wasn't real.
It ended as unexpectedly as it started. When Yuki was able to see again, he noticed something strange. He was in his dorm room. But that was not the only thing that was off.
No, no, no, nononono… Where’s Kinjo?!?!?
He wasn’t anywhere nearby. Which meant only one thing.
Yuki rattled the handle, then again and again and again and again. Each time more and more rapidly.
There was no lock from the inside. It couldn’t be closed for him. Why was it closed???
“Ah, forgive poor me, Maeda-kun. You see, it’s not my style to lock the students in their rooms for bad behavior, but you were a reeeally troubled kid, so I had no other choice!!”
“YOU!.. LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!”
Chuckle came from the door.
“LET ME OUT!!!!!”
“No offense, but I really didn't expect something like that from you. Seems like you were really close with Kinjo-kun, huh? I wonder how it will affect the story later~”
Yuki didn't care to listen. His fists pushed against the door, shaking and aching, but no one would ever notice.
He screamed and begged for freedom, for a chance to go and save Kinjo. He kept pounding and hammering his fists against the wooden surface. But the door didn't open.
At some point Monokuma's voice disappeared and he was left completely alone. His cries became wails. Now there was no way to stop them.
The weight of recent events crashed on him all at once. He slid down to his knees, arms falling at the sides. Tears dripped to the floor.
He couldn't ignore this anymore. Not the headache, thrumming, throbbing, sharp and hot. Not the trembling over his entire body, or the bruising pain in his fingers, or the heavy and wadded legs. The heart that was about to break his ribcage, beating with a racing speed, or the fear that knocked the air out of his lungs.
The feeling of something being horribly wrong.
He tried to repress it before, was too focused on anything but himself and now he had to deal with everything. Alone.
And it was overwhelming. Yuki had never, never ever felt this much in his entire life. It didn't feel right. He thought he was about to die.
He was gonna die in this room, pathetic, not able to do anything. He would die, and Kinjo would too, because he didn't do anything to stop this from happening. He would die with nothing but regret.
It was hard to tell how much time had passed when at some moment tears stopped. Yuki took a deep parted breath in through his mouth. He didn't feel any better, really, but at least he wasn't trembling anymore.
With no strength left to move or think, he let the darkness envelop him.