Work Text:
Well… this was certainly a situation.
Currently, as in 6 in the morning, Batman is tied to a chair with some weird metal rope, his sight fuzzy and his head hanging. He had been here for a few hours, he could tell, but no one had showed up yet to inform him of what the hell was going on.
He was beginning to get genuinely bored while being a hostage and if that wasn't ironic enough, he had already figured out how he would escape, he just wanted to know exactly who was behind this.
The guess was Joker, but who knows? Maybe it was some new up-and-coming villain and it would be great to lock them behind bars immediately.
He groaned as another stream of light green gas soaked in through small vents covered the floor thinly. This was also a slight problem, since it seemed to be some sort of weird sleeping gas. He had been pulled into sleep every hour or so for the entirety of the night so far and he would never, ever admit that it felt good to sleep.
His train of thought was cut short by the gas reaching his nose and making his head spin before it went completely blank with a dreamless sleep.
—
When he arose from his forced slumber, he was in a new room. He was laying on a kind sized bed in which was littered with fluffy pillows and duvets. Everything was colourful, mostly green and purple, and he shut his eyes against it, groaning silently. This was most definitely The Joker's work.
He looked around again, this time taking in more detail of the room. It was dark, the only light being emitted by some purple fairy lights hanging across the wall and over the bed and a small night lamp on a wooden side table. The walls were covered in posters of series and bands, none that he actually recognised in the moment. The most important detail was that he wasn't bound anymore, in fact, he didn't even have his batsuit on.
This made him panic a bit, his mind reeling with the thought of someone undressing him and most importantly, looking under his cowl. He rose from the bed, looking down at the-
At the Hello Kitty pajamas he was wearing, apparently. It was a large white tee with the classic hello kitty logo on and a pair of typical fuzzy pink pajama pants with multiple of said classic logos spread around on the fabric. He growled in frustration, mad at Joker for undressing him in his sleep. Although he did feel well rested, which was unusual for him considering his nightly activities.
His head snapped back up as he heard a door creak open. The Joker stepped through, and Batman couldn't help but let his eyes skim over the other's slim body. He was dressed in pajamas too, but Batman’s eyes widened as he saw all the Batman logos on it. It was identical to his just black with Batman logos and baggier pants.
“Oh batsyyy~” Joker called out in a singsong voice, his whole body lighting up at the sight of Batman in Hello Kitty pajamas.
“I see you're wearing the pajamas I gave youuu~” He giggled while dancing across the floor to meet him at the plush bed. Settling down, Joker laughed again at his brooding face, mimicking him slightly before bursting out laughing again.
“I didn't really have a choice considering you changed me..” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest like a toddler who got caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.
“Oh don't look so sour, Batsy, it was for your own good!” Joker chirped, “And besides, I didn't look under your mask!” He giggled again, pulling out a gun from behind some pillows. Pressing the gun at Batman’s chest, he asked with a silent whisper, suddenly uncharacteristically serious,
“And besides, you would probably stop hating me if i did, wouldn't you Batsy?”
It was silent for a few seconds, it being heavy with unspoken words as they sat side by side on the soft purple bed, one pointing a gun at the other. The silence lasted just a bit too long before Batman decided to end its painful life with an awkward chuckle.
“I don't think this is the proper way to invite someone over, now is it?” His voice was low, but it was devoid of any anger or fear that might've been there if he didn't know that the Joker would never actually hurt him on purpose, instead it was filled with the typical dry humor and fondness of a father. Joker's stiff shoulders softened immediately at the bat's words, his eyes drifting to the gun - purple with neon blue glitter painted hastily on it - and pulling the trigger.
Batman’s eyes widened as a big puff of pink smoke rose up between them, before he looked at the Joker through it and saw something sinister in his greatest enemy's eyes and felt a weird mix of dread and excitement pool in his stomach. The clown's smile widened and he sprung back up from the bed, sauntering over to a bookshelf that had been pushed against the colorful wall.
“Well, now that that’s cleared up,” He chirped happily, “I thought that we could have a sleepover!” His happy voice was so childish that Batman almost forgot that this was the clown prince of crime, and he had to look away while fighting a blush that was spreading around his neck.
“Why- Sleepovers are for children, Joker, why would we have one?” He asked as he put a hand on his masked forehead with an exasperated sigh.
“Why not!”
“Because we're greatest enemies, not besties”
Joker's eyes flickered across the room a bit, seemingly lost in thought but when he came back from them he was staring at Batman with eyes that could almost be described as fond.
“We are, aren't we?” He whispered, almost to himself, “We’re greatest enemies, we are oh yes we are!” Jokers giggles filled the room as he advanced back to Batman with glee. As he threw himself at the bed again, Batman had to fight a wince as Joker groaned and sat up with a moan.
“Jeez… maybe I shouldn’t hide knives in my bed…” He mumbled to himself, a hand coming up to scratch at his back where some fabric had gotten torn. His face contorted with slight pain, but it was soon over as he turned back to the bat.
“Why would you store knives in your bed?” Batman asked, his hand coming up to the Joker's back to look at the wound. It wasn't anything bad, only a scratch, but it started bleeding slightly and Batman ripped off a part of his shirt to dab the red liquid away.
“For security, of course!" Joker sang, “It wouldn't do if someone tried to kill me in my sleep, now would it?” He giggled at the idea of himself dying - which is frankly very concerning - and Batman pulled his gaze away from the wound to look the Joker in his eyes.
“Of course that wouldn't do, Joker,it would be disappointing to see you die in such a way after all your evil plans”
“Oh Batsy, you worry too much, of course I wouldn't die in such a mundane and boring way”
“Good”
That awkward silence was there again, but this time it was filled with tension. Batman continued to dab at the wound, soaking all the blood up in the white cloth of his pajama shirt. He had ripped off a large chunk of the bottom part of his, so now his Hello Kitty T-shirt had become a crop-top - not exactly his style.
“You said you wanted a sleepover?” Batman broke the silence again, his vice surprisingly shy for the big hulk of a man that he was.
“Yes!” Joker's voice was filled with glee as he leaned forwards towards the bat, his smile widening, making his eyes crinkle. He laughed and scooted impossibly close to Batman, eyes shining.
“Sooooo… I was thinking truth or dare first, it's a classic!”
“You… wanna play Truth or Dare..?” Batman was certainly confused now. He had never actually played the game before, the death of his parents and his rich upbringing ruining any chance he had of a normal childhood with sleepovers and games like Truth or dare. Well, what was done was done, he couldn't turn back time even if he wanted to so badly.
“Yes of course, what, have you never played it or something?” The other laughed, seeming to think that Batman had never ever played Truth or Dare as hilarious.
“Well…”
Joker's jaw fell to the ground as he looked incredulously at the bat sitting in front of him. He sputtered for a bit, hands moving as he tried to make sense of this newfound fact.
“What?!” The joker finally got out, the simple word breathed out in a whisper-shout. He surged forwards, gripping Batman’s forearms with his hands as he looked at the cowl-covered face.
“You mean to say you’ve never played truth or dare before?!”
“No…” Batman grimaced.
“This is a crime against humanity, Batsy!” Joker wailed dramatically, his grip on Batman tightening.
“Is it?!”
“Yes!”
“Oh… I didn’t know it was that important…”
Joker stared at him, mouth opened in a very childlike manner.
“Oh you stupid bat!” He finally giggled, grip loosening a tad. He leaned back a bit, huffing a laugh.
“Well I guess I'll just have to teach the big bad bat how to play truth or dare then!”
“It can’t be that complicated!”
“It doesn't have to be complicated, that's for sure, but we can make it complicated” the clown’s eyes got a malicious glint in them as he leaned in closer, their nosetips almost brushing together.
“Lets not make it too complex now, i am a first timer after all” the bat laughed, his mouth forming a smirk.
“Whaaat, the world's greatest detective can't handle a simple children's game?” Joker teased, leaning so close that they were almost kissing. Batman's breath hitched, his eyes flickering from the Joker’s lips and back up to his eyes. Only a few centimeters, only the slightest movement would make them… he didn't dare finish the thought.
But he didn't move away either, letting the joker move even closer as their breaths mingled and the clown closed the distance completely. Their lips touched softly, barely gracing each other as they kissed gently. Joker moved his hands so that they rested on each side of his bat, leaning over him slightly. Said bat felt his own hands move on their own accord to rest on the clown’s hips, his large hands fitting perfectly on the other's skinny body, as if they were made for each other.
Their kiss felt like it lasted life times as they stayed, not breaking the kiss nor deepening it. Batman imagined this was what heaven felt like.
And it lasted for longer than both were expecting, before Joker not-so-finally broke it, his eyes wide and smile softer than Batman thinks he's ever seen it before. They sat there for a while, just breathing and processing what just happened, faces inches apart. Joker laughed nervously, looking away shyly as he blushed red.
Batman's mouth was on the floor, his face red as hell. His thoughts were running a mile an hour as he stared at the cute - cute - clown in front of him and everything he knew about his life got turned upside down.
“Ehhh… sooo…” Joker started, “Truth or dare?” He smiled his toothy smile, but his eyes were flickering around the room, trying to look at anything but the person he was talking to.
“I- I dont-” Batman started, but the words got stuck in his throat as he attempted to voice them, “S- sure J-bird” He finally got out, not knowing what else to say after such a situation.
“Alright!” Joker chirped, his cutesy singsong voice back, “So I start with asking the question and you answer either truth or dare, then i tell you what dare you should do or ask you a question that you have to answer truthfully!” He put extra emphasis on the last word, raising an eyebrow to the bat as he leaned closer again. Batman blushed and nodded frantically at the clown.
“And NO cheating!” Joker hissed, stabbing his finger repeatedly into Batman's chest.
“No cheating, got it!”
“Good good, okay, I’ll start!” Joker sang, “Truth or Dare?”
“Er… dare?” The bat said, but he sincerely doubted this was the best choice.
“Ooo fun! I dare you too… choke me to death!” Joker grinned maliciously at Batman, leaning forwards so their noses touched.
“Nope,” Batman said, popping the P. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared defiantly at the clown. “That's my one rule, no killing of anyone!”
“Awee okay,” Joker pouted, tapping a finger on his chin while thinking, “I dare you… tooooo… ehm- Oh yes that's good!” His eyes lit up as he snapped his finger in the air. He pointed at the bat, flashing his evil grin again.
“I dare you to kiss me again” He whispered into the bat's ears, his lips grazing it softly. Batman's breath hitched, his cheeks turning bright pink as he stared bewildered at Joker.
“Y-you-” He couldn't even finish one word before pulling the Joker into a passionate kiss. He moved his lips against the others, who in return opened his mouth and let Batman’s tongue slip in. They fought for dominance, but in the end the Bat won and pressed the clown even closer to himself. Joker moaned into the other's mouth, tugging at the bat ears of Batman’s cowl as if it was his hair.
They stayed seated on the bed while they kissed, tongues swirling and bodies pressed impossibly close. Batman’s thoughts were running a mile an hour, but nothing mattered in that moment as he gripped Joker's thighs and pressed their mouths together. Nothing mattered, not even the fact that he was kissing a criminal. It didn’t matter because this was The Joker, his greatest enemy and the person he was constantly thinking of.
It didn’t matter because deep down he knew this was what he’d always wanted.
The joker broke away from the kiss with an inhaling gasp, his chest rising fast as he panted. They stared at each other, both shaken to the core at their actions and panting for the air they lost.
“O- that was- oh god…” Joker stumbled through his words, as his hands shook and his face turned a blush pink. Batman wasn’t off any better, the fog that had taken over his mind slowly fading away as he realised that he had kissed the Joker. Again!
“I- uh- My turn!” He squealed. He racked his mind as he tried to remember what they were actually doing and sharply looked away from the clown, blushing super hard under the mask.
“Okay” Joker said softly, his gaze lowering as he batted his long eyelashes at the bat.
“Okay… eh, Truth or Dare?” He breathed out, looking at the beautiful man in front of him.
“…Dare”
“I dare you to… do one action that involves me right now, whatever you want” the bat spoke, his voice coming out airy, “or- or something, I guess…” he muttered after the silence lasted too long.
“I- okay..”
The joker scooted closer, one hand intertwining with Batman’s not-gloved one. Said clown pulled his pajama-covered legs over the edge of the plush bed and onto the bat's lap. He dragged the rest of his lower half onto said lap and seated himself there snuggly. He inhaled a shaky breath and snuggled up to Batman’s chest.
The Bat stilled for a moment, before wrapping his arms around the joker tightly and leaned back so that they were laying slightly cuddled up together on the soft purple bed.
“Now it’s my turn…” Joker mumbled, half his face pressed against the buff chest of his bat. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth”
“Do you… do you hate me?” The clown whispered, clenching his eyes closer tightly.
“Yes I do, I hate you more than anyone…” Batman's voice was so sure, so confident that Joker just had to believe him as his heart beat very fast.
“…do you really mean that?!” His voice rang through the otherwise silent room with a hopeful clang, making Batman tighten his arms around Joker and murmur softly into his ear;
“Of course I do”
“…I’m glad”
“…Me too”
—
They stayed there for a while, “playing” truth or dare - really it was just truth or truth and murmuring soft loving things to each other - and cuddling. The position they ended up on was Batman laying down, joker on top of him with his hands around the others neck and noses almost touching most of the time.
“Y’know Batsy?” Joker mumbled sleepily, stroking one of the bat-ears of the others cowl, “You’re a greeeeaat pillow”
“Ive never really thought of myself as a pillow before but okayyyy, sure, whatever makes you happy” Batman replied nonchalantly as Joker snuggled closer up to him.
“Yeah… so great it almost makes me want to kiss you again…” Joker’s voice was muffled by Batman's chest but he still heard those whispered words, his heart beating faster by the minute.
“Almost..?”
There was silence on the other end as Joker stilled slightly, his eyes wide open as he realized he said his little kissing request out loud.
“I- not-so almost maybe…” He finally answered, laughing nervously.
“Well then, I've never seen you as a quitter, J-bird,” Batman spoke, putting one hand on Joker’s chin and tilting his head up so that their eyes met.
“I never was”
Was the last words spoken as they kissed again, this time more softly. Joker brushed his lips against the bat’s and instead of a long, passionate one, it was more of small sensual pecks given around the mouth area. Batman's face was soon covered in lipstick (again) and Joker pressed one single one on the forehead of his Bat-cowl.
Batman smiled softly at Joker, the sight sending the latter into a blushing mess as he looked at the kiss-mark covered smiling batman. He loved it. He wanted to see that look every single day for the rest of his life. He wished he could take it and frame it on his roof so that he would stare at it whenever he tried to sleep. Joker pressed a final kiss to the bat’s lips as he looked away, still as pink as the pink color in those classic black and bright pink leopard print patterns.
Batman chuckled at the sight, nonchalantly pretending he wasn't blushing like a mad-man under the mask, and thumbed some of the smudged lipstick off Joker’s cheek. This only made Joker blush even harder and he pushed the hand away, whining pitifully.
“We should continue playing!” He squealed out, eyes closed shut and hands gripping Batman’s stupid hello kitty t-shirt.
“Yes of course, darling, lets continue playing” Batman coed, hands rubbing up and down the clowns back. Joker could feel the warmth of his big hands through the thin t-shirt and shivered as now he was sure he would feel cold for the rest of his life without those calloused hands.
“OKAY, I’ll begin!” he sputtered.
“Go ahead, sweetheart”
“Truth or dare?” Joker squeaked, voice going higher than even Bruce’s usual ladyfriend at those parties that he didn't particularly enjoy going to.
“Hmmm,” He hummed, “I think I’ll go with dare this time”
“Okay okay… I dare you to…” Joker wracked his brain for good dares to play on batman that didnt start with “Fuck” and end with “Me”
“I dare you to let me put make up on you!” He ended up saying, smiling cutely at the bewildered bat in front of him.
“I- sure, anything for you” Batman sighed with a fond smile, his hand coming up to scratch at Joker’s nape. Joker leaned into the touch, smiling brightly at the other man.
“Okay okay, lemme find my makeup kit!” Joker squealed and jumped off the bed to run towards his little closet. He opened one of the drawers on the bottom and pulled out a black box with purple and green dots. He ran over to the bed again, and pushed Batman so that he was sitting up against the headboard.
“I can't believe I'll finally get to put makeup on you!” Joker giggled, settling himself in Batman's lap for easy access. He opened a palette with facepaint and pushed a brush into the white one.
“If you didn’t get the memo, I'm gonna paint you clown-like!” He said with glee, smiling brightly at the man in front of him. He pushed the brush onto the bat’s face and started meticulously smearing the white facepaint all over the part of his face that wasn't covered by the cowl. When he’d covered that part he dipped the brush back into the white paint and went for the cowl too. He laughed a bit to himself at the look of Batman in cutesy pajamas and white facepaint.
“What?” Batman asked, looking like he’s trying not to laugh at himself, “Do I look stupid?”
“No no, of course you don't!" He squealed back, biting his lip to keep from bursting out laughing. Batman of course noticed this and pouted comically at Joker. The latter burst out laughing at this, body shaking almost violently as he looked at the very cute bat in front of him.
Batman chuckled too, handsome face twisting into something soft at the sight of his Joker genuinely laughing for once, instead of the maniacal laughter that usually followed the clown around.
Joker started painting more white as they laughed, his whole body locked up so that his hands were steady. He dipped the brush into the red paint and started painting a clownish red smile onto the bat's now white face, giggling all the while.
He leaned closer to make it more flawless and he stuck his tongue out - like great artists do when they want their masterpieces to be perfect - and startled when he felt those same lips he was just painting on touch his in a feather light touch. When he blinked they were in the same place as before, only now there was a slight lack of red in the middle.
Still kinda shocked and flustered, he painted over said spot with shaking hands. He went back into the palette with a new skinnier brush and started on those iconic blue under eye thingies that are shaped like upside-down triangles. He painted the edges sharp and went back in with a slightly darker blue to kinda shade them.
Batman watched Joker work, completely hypnotised by this beautiful man as he stuck his tongue out and painted on his cowl. They were still really close, but Batman didn’t want to ruin his clown’s work by moving in for a kiss again. Though he was really tempted.
He sighed dreamily, earning a confused but humored look from Joker, but he just waved a dismissing hand and said clown just shrugged and continued detailing the clown-makeup.
“Aaaaand… Done!” Joker cheered, dragging the “A”. He smiled sweetly, and lent him a purple hand mirror with a cute giggle. Batman looked at himself and a weird mix of feeling pooled into his gut. He felt happy, weirdly enough, because this whole kidnapping-scheme was really just Joker wanting to spend time with him. But also, he was here, kissing the enemy and having a cutesy sleepover with him, and he was happy and they were having fun. Together!
This really was a weird situation, but right now, all Batman wanted to think about was how adorable his Joker was right now, sitting in his lap and smiling oh so brightly.
“Do you like it?” Joker asked hopefully, moving a bit closer to the bat.
“I love it” Batman replied happily, leaning his face forward and kissing the joker again. Just a light peck, but it did fluster the latter anyway.
“B-batsy, you're gonna smudge your lipstick!” He gasped, but despite his words he leaned forwards again and pressed his lips against Batman’s.
This kiss was longer, and Joker felt a rough hand stroke his cheek lovingly and he sighed into the kiss, leaning into Batman’s muscular chest. His eyes fluttered open when the other pulled away, his lips forming a disappointed pout.
“Why’d you stop?” He whined, pulling the other closer.
“Becauseee,” Batman began, dragging the “E”, “It’s my turn” He smirked.
“...your turn with what exactly?” Joker asked, confused out of his mind which was still fogged up with the need to smooch with the bat.
Batman gasped comically, "Don't tell me you forgot?!”
“Forgot what?!” Joker cried in response, secretly appreciating the idea of a Batman with humor.
“We were playing truth or dare, remember?” Batman chuckled as Joker's eyes lit up with remembrance, “and it's my turn, sweetheart” the bat whispered into Joker’s ear, lips gracing it softly.
As always, Joker melted at this, his heart swelling as Batman asked him the same question as they'd been asking all night.
“Truth or dare, J-bird?”
“I chose… truth”
“Okay, Joker,” Batman started, “What does hate really mean to you?”
Joker froze, eyes blown wide as he stared at the man in front of him. Oh he was so fucked, so absolutely fucked! This was the only question that he didn’t want to answer truthfully, but he didn’t cheat in truth or dare. That was COMPLETELY off the list.
“-ello, earth to Joker?” He heard a low voice call out, “Are you okay?”
He breathed out, still staring at Batman with a scared expression and reached out to grip the jaw in front of him roughly.
“I’ll tell you the truth, but only because we're playing truth or dare and I hate cheating, and you promise to not absolutely freak out on me here” He went for intimidating, but even he could see that his cracking, high pitched voice and slightly shaking hands could convince even the stupidest of people that he was scared out of his mind.
“Hey hey, don't worry!” The bat spoke softly, patting the hand still gripping his jaw, “I’m sure it’s gonna be o-kay”
Joker brought his hand back to himself, inhaling a shaking breath.
“Alright… I- uhm- This is really weird but… eh… you know… When I say I “Hate” you, I really mean that I- uhm- that I love you…” He muttered out, his voice turning into a shaking whisper at the end as he confessed his biggest secret to his greatest enemy.
There was a silence, a thick, unforgiving silence as Batman processed these words. Joker's face turned even paler than usual as there continued to be no answers to his confession, his own mind screaming at him that he had ruined everything and now Batman was gonna hate him for real and his whole life just went down the drain because of a stupid game!
“Oh Joker, I don’t know how I didn’t realize this sooner but… I really, really love you too…” Batman sighed softly, rubbing small circles on the small of the clown’s back. The latter’s eyes became teary and he pulled the bat into a desperate kiss, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck and pressing their bodies impossibly close.
Batman kissed back, equally as desperate, and they cuddled back together on the cushy bed. As they broke apart, Joker giggled and spoke with fondness;
“Okay Batsy, truth or dare?”
Batman chuckled, reaching a hand to scratch at Joker’s green hair lightly.
“Truth”
“How many hours have you slept this week?”
Batman froze, hand stopping the scratching movements as he tried to remember the last time he slept properly. Oh shit. The last time was when he was drugged by the Joker so that he could join this silly sleepover.
“Eh- I chose dare instead”
Joker gaped at him, eyes round with horror and wonder.
“Go to sleep!”
“I don’t like this game…” The apparently sleep-deprived bat grumbled, scrunching up his makeup-covered face jokingly. Joker laughed in disbelief, mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air as the only thing he could do was laugh breathlessly.
“Okay, so we're gonna sleep now” He finally got out between the laughter, reaching for the makeup-wipes he kept on his nightstand. “But first, let's remove my masterpiece because I - personally - don't want a full face of clown makeup on my pillows!”
Batman chuckled, not being opposed to getting a good rest, the fact that it was with Joker was an added bonus.
“Okay okay, but let me remove yours too then”
“Of course, we have to be equal, am I right?” Joker giggled.
“Yeah, I guess we have to be” Batman sighed, grabbing the wipe that joker lent him and gently rubbing off the lipstick and other makeup that he didn’t know the names of off of the Joker’s face. What greeted him afterwards was a face still as pale, but devoid of the bright colors that usually was spread on it. I honestly felt like seeing him naked, but less with less mask and more just… Him.
Joker giggled and wiped his face too, using longer because of the larger amount he had to wipe off. And once he was finished, they snuggled up in bed together and Joker turned off the lights with the snap of his fingers.
“How’d you do that?” Batman asked, bewildered at the sight of something so similar to magic.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Batface!” Joker snickered back, ignoring the look he got. Batman only sighed in response, curling around the other man and kissing his forehead.
“Good night, my love…” He mumbled sleepily, yawning into the green hair.
“Good night, sleep well, My cute little batface” Joker giggled silently back.
Batman was already snoring softly at the end of his sentence and Joker nuzzled up to him, barely still awake himself.
—
Joker startled awake by a loud noise, his head snapping up from the comfortable position on his bat’s chest. He looked up to see Harley gaping at him from where she was standing by the doorframe. She had clearly kicked the door in - explaining the loud noise - and was standing speechless, staring at him with wide eyes.
“D-did you too ban-”
“NO!” Joker cut her off with a whisper-shout, blushing profusely at the idea of banging Batman. He wasn’t against it, but that would certainly be a huuuuge step next.
“Oh, well congrats on your win, puddin’, im happy for ya” She smiled softly, looking back and forth between him and batman - who was still snoring - and winking. His blush calmed down slightly, and he smiled one of his real smiles back.
“Thank you, girl-buddy, it was… nice to finally talk about these things…” He sighed, settling back into his comfy position snuggled up to the bat.
“Yeah, you two really needed to have a conversation, that's fa’ sure” Harley scoffed fondly back at him, “I’ll let ya sleep in today, because it really looks like he needs it desperately”
“Yeah,” Joker laughed a bit, looking at the sleeping bat, “Thanks again, Harls”
“Always, mista’ J”
—
Batman hadn’t felt this well rested in a looooong while, and he thinks that a big part of that has been those horrible swirling emotions (eugh) but now that they were replaced with better emotions (still kinda eugh but he didn’t actually mind them now) he could actually sleep. And maybe it was the joy of feeling Joker snuggled up close to him when waking up made him want to sleep every night just so that he could wake up to this sight forever.
It certainly helped, at least.
And if he doesn't mention the fact that he had red kissing marks on his face, chest and cowl to Alfred when he returns home, that's certainly not because he wants this thing between him and Joker to become their little secret. It's certainly not because he likes the thrill of fighting Joker knowing that before sending him back to Arkham they will kiss in the Batmobile and play truth or dare on the way.
And of course he doesn't tell Barbara of their little relationship, because he knows that she already can tell from a distance.
He definitely doesn't tell Robin that yes, you can of course call Joker “Green dad” if you want to! No no, of course he doesn’t! That Robin finds out on his own, so Joker is now “Green dad” in Robin's head.
Of course he doesn’t tell them how much he loves the kisses that he keeps returning home with, and about how much he admires the Joker of all people. No no he can’t do that.
Because he’s Batman, but oh god if he loves Joker more than everyone else in the entire world, himself included.