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That first year is difficult, sure, but Peter holds on. He has made a choice, and though it hurts, he’s determined to see it through. He has to get his GED, make money, find a place to live, work on his suit. Those things keep him distracted.
Time passes, and for the first time, Peter spends the New Year’s atop a skyscraper. He had wanted to do this, in the past. To spend New Year’s as Spider-Man, and maybe even swing by all the people on the street. It seemed like a fun idea. He had never done this before, because before he had a home to come back to and people to celebrate with. As the ball drops, it dawns on him. This is it. This is his life now.
That second year is hell. His chest hurts, like he’s suffocating on something. Peter checks his vitals, but they look perfectly normal. He checks Ned’s socials and MJ’s hair looks different. His throat hurts.
Peter throws himself at his job, and it all makes sense. Of course he’s hurting, his ribs are broken. He’s bleeding and his bones are bent in unnatural ways, but everything’s alright. He’s Spider-Man. It heals, and he does it again and again and again. In his apartment, he cries quietly. Why should Peter Parker make a sound? There’s no one to hear him.
By the third year of this, everything feels automated. His suit is actually great, and he’s gotten quite good at patching himself up. People love Spider-Man, the streets are safer. He’s got a decent partnership with DeWolff going, and he’s even saved Frank’s ass on Staten Island. Peter thinks that at least, he isn’t throwing his life away for nothing. He is doing something. It is worth it. He doesn’t feel much of anything though. He visits aunt May with flowers, but with not much to tell her.
At last, when Ned and MJ come back to New York, so do the weird pains Peter can’t account for. Well, it only got worse, since it never really went away in the first place, he had simply learned to live with it.
Both Ned and MJ look at him with not a single hint of recollection. It worked. They’ve been doing really well. He should be happy. This is what he asked for. He falls aimlessly and pointlessly. Maybe Peter should’ve forgotten too. Does he really exist if there’s isn’t one person to bear witness to him?
Would it be so bad to kill Peter Parker?
He shoots a web at the last second, thanks to Spider-Man’s well refined senses, and Peter’s kept alive for now.
