Archive of Our Own

The first time Nagi hears it, it’s in him and Reo’s bedroom. Well, technically, it also belonged to Zantetsu, but whatever. 

“So, who is this treader of Japanese soccer?” 

“Zantetsu, it’s treasure.” Oh, they were talking about Nagi. A bit of pride blooms in Nagi’s chest at Reo’s nickname for him. 

“What’s his name? Why isn’t he here, if he’s so good?” 

“His name’s Ryosuke Kira, and some guy named Bachira got him out in the first tag selection.” 

Nagi’s brows furrowed. This didn’t make sense. Nagi was Reo’s only treasure. Why was Reo going around calling some loser who was already eliminated, a treasure? 

There’s a weird churning in Nagi’s stomach. Maybe he needs to go to the bathroom. 

-

In the first selection, when Nagi scores his 10th goal, reaching the goal Reo had set for him, Reo throws his arms around Nagi, enthusiastically celebrating his treasure’s amazing goal. 

Good. Nagi thinks. This is exactly how it should be. 

When Reo pulls away, Nagi pouts a little, but is rejuvenated when Reo pats him on the head. He closes his eyes and leans into the touch a bit, then lets out a contented hum. 

When Reo retracts his hand, Nagi watches him walk away with a disappointed feeling. 

Nagi likes it when Reo touches him. That’s why he’s sad when Reo walks away. He wants Reo to keep touching him. He wishes Reo would always be touching him and praising him, but sometimes when Nagi thinks he should maybe ask Reo to play with his hair or pat his head, or maybe Nagi even thinks about asking Reo to cuddle sometimes when they’re next to each other in bed, Nagi gets this weird feeling like he’s afraid, although he’s not sure why.

Nagi still can’t quite figure this out— why he’s afraid– it’s just Reo after all. But when Nagi thinks about Reo looking at him with a disgusted or weirded-out face, he kind of understands why he’s afraid. He doesn’t want Reo to think he’s weird. That’s why he won’t ask. 

Reo is his only friend, after all. If Reo didn’t want to hangout with Nagi anymore, Nagi would be really sad. He didn't think he could handle the loneliness and emptiness of his life before Reo, not after knowing how it felt to be like this. With Reo, almost even having other friends.

-

After Ryosuke Kira’s high school team wins nationals, the news reaches Blue Lock. To be honest, it reaches every corner of the nation. 

Kira’s team had a massive upset against a team they were supposed to lose against; with his team being an 8 seed and theirs being 2. 

By now, Ego had revealed that every Blue Lock player was being recorded and live-streamed, and he’d begun to get power-hungry. Now, he regularly held interviews with players, and even had a weekly segment where he interviewed the top-voted players about recent events. 

Today, it was Reo. Of course his Reo is the most popular player; he’s handsome, charismatic, his soccer skills and chameleon style are awesome, he’s funny, Reo’s eyebrows are super cute, and his ponytail, Reo—

“Mikage Reo, the fans of Blue Lock want to know what you think of Ryosuke Kira and his recent win at nationals.” 

“Kira is for sure a spectacular player, I’ve watched the game and think it was a very well-deserved win, and that he isn’t regarded as Japan’s National Treasure for no reason.” 

“Well said.” 

This wasn’t making any sense. Treasure?! Reo was calling this Kira guy a treasure? Again? It was one thing for it to happen once, maybe it was a fluke or Reo said something he was just saying to say, but to say it again, in an interview?! 

But… did Reo even still think of Nagi as his treasure? He hadn’t called him that in awhile, now that Nagi was thinking about it. Maybe— Maybe Reo realized Nagi wasn’t pushing himself as hard as he could, or Reo got tired of pushing Nagi to go further. Maybe Reo had realized their shared dream of winning the World Cup was the only thing keeping them together–he didn’t like Nagi, just his talent. 

These thoughts were making Nagi feel really not good and he really needed to focus on the upcoming game. 

Nagi feels a painful jab on his lower arm, then Chigiri teases, “Thought you were Reo’s only treasure.” He chuckles, gesturing his head toward Reo, who was still being interviewed. 

So Nagi wasn’t making up things in his head. He didn’t like this. 

When Reo comes back over, he greets Nagi with a soft pat on the head. It pleases Nagi so much that he almost forgets the feeling brewing in his stomach.

-

It’s winter at Blue Lock, and they’re graced with a week off. A few days before Christmas, Reo comes to Nagi’s house and insists they hangout. Reo doesn’t need to insist. Even if he merely suggested it, Nagi would take it and run with it. 

They had gone to an arcade, where Reo pointed at a cute seal plush encased in a claw machine, claiming it looked just like Nagi. 

Nagi found himself on a mission to get it for Reo. 

When he hands it over, Reo blushes profusely and clings onto it. The action vaguely reminds Nagi of Reo when he’s handed over a confession in the form of a letter or a box of chocolates, but Reo never got flustered like this when he got confessed to. He was probably getting nervous now because Nagi was his friend and Reo wasn’t used to his friends giving him gifts, just the other way around.

“You really didn’t have to, Nagi.” 

“Reo took me to the arcade and paid for my games. I wanted to do something for Reo.” He says bluntly. 

“Well, thank you. It looks cute.” 

Before Nagi knows it, he feels a light press against his cheek, and briefly registers it as Reo. Then, he realizes it was a kiss. 

Reo just kissed him on the cheek. 

Reo quickly backs away, looking anywhere but Nagi. Luckily, Nagi can’t seem to look at Reo either. 

He finds his face quickly heating up where Reo had kissed him, and he feels a blush come up. He brings his hand up to the cheek that had been kissed, heart beating erratically out of his chest. Did that just happen? Was that a normal thing people did? 

Nagi’s not really sure what to do, but Reo looks nervous and a little bit scared, and Nagi didn’t want Reo to feel that way. He shouldn’t be scared, it was just Nagi. 

So, he grabs the shorter boy’s waist and pulls him into a hug, feeling Reo stiffen as he did. He quickly loosens up, and wraps his arms around Nagi too. 

When Nagi pulls away to look at Reo’s face, it’s still adorably red, all the way up to his ears. He figures he should return the favor, and Reo looks really cute right now– in Nagi’s arms– so Nagi puts his hands around Reo’s face and presses a light kiss to his forehead, then pulls him in again before Reo can see his face. He’s not sure what kind of face it is, but he doesn’t think he wants Reo to see how he reacted to this entire situation. 

-

By the time Nagi and Reo get back to Nagi’s apartment, the sun had long since gone down, along with the chatter of a city that was awake. Their legs were aching, and the winter cold was beginning to get to both of them.

“Jesus, Nagi, don’t you have a heater or something in here?” 

“No, I never bought one.” 

“What? Why not?” 

“Dunno, when I’m cold I usually just go under my blankets.”

“And that works?” 

“Not really.” 

“I’ll order a heater for you tomorrow, Nagi!” 

“Reo’s the best…” Nagi says as he snuggles into his blanket. “Are you staying over tonight?”

“I figured I should, it’s pretty late and I feel bad calling Ba-ya and I’m kind of sleepy and—” 

“Will Reo come here, then?” 

“Uhm, sure… w-why?” 

When Reo and Nagi had sleepovers, Reo typically slept on Nagi’s couch; the bed was definitely too small for the two six-foot-tall athletes. Despite Reo not being used to the slightly uncomfortable couch, they found themselves having these sleepovers often. 

Once Reo makes it to the side of Nagi’s full bed, he feels an arm wrap around him and pull him down, letting out a yelp as he falls. 

“N-nagi?!” 

“Will Reo sleep here tonight?” Nagi says, nuzzling his head into the crook of Reo’s neck. It was so warm here, and Reo smelled so good– he always did. The rich smell of his faded cologne from hours ago mixed with another smell that was so uniquely Reo— Nagi could get drunk off it. 

“I just said I would…” Reo says, voice high-pitched and unsure.

“No. I mean here.” Nagi looks up from his blanket to see Reo’s entire face begin to heat up. 

Cute.

“U-uhm– I’m not sure if–” 

“Please, Reo~? It’s so cold… and I don’t have a heater…” Nagi clings tighter onto Reo’s sweater. “And Reo’s so warm…” He pleads with the other boy using his signature puppy eye move— he knows it always works on Reo.

“Fine, Nagi. Just this once. For my treasure.” Nagi hopes the smile on his face isn’t too obvious when Reo says this. Reo begins to wriggle out of Nagi’s arms in an attempt to get under the covers, but Nagi doesn’t seem to want Reo to move. 

“Reo…” Nagi pouts. 

“I’m just getting under the covers,” 

“Hurry up, Reo…’M cold…” 

The second Reo gets under the covers, he finds Nagi’s arm back around him, this time forcing him into a position where he was flush against Nagi, his face pressed into Nagi’s neck. 

“N-nagi, this position– um, this position is a bit—” 

“Shush, Reo… I’m trying to sleep.” 

This felt so nice. Being so close to Reo, having Reo in his arms. Nagi couldn’t see Reo’s face now, but he knew if he looked down he would be able to see a beautiful and blushing Reo. 

He kind of wants to kiss Reo on the forehead again, but his heart is already racing from the stunt he just pulled. He should be content with just this. Nagi didn’t want to smother Reo with his affection, lest Reo think Nagi had some kind of crush on him or something. Nagi just liked when Reo touched him and praised him or was around him, there was no point dissecting things that were objectively pleasant. 

The fresh memory of Reo’s soft lips on his cheek in a sheepish peck runs across Nagi’s mind and makes his heart flutter. 

If Reo notices Nagi’s racing heart, he doesn’t mention it. 

-

Nagi regrets letting Reo kiss him. And he regrets kissing him back. 

Now that the notion has been planted into his mind that this was something that could happen, something Reo could do, something Nagi could do, it’s almost all Nagi can think about. 

It’s the second time they’ve hung out this week, and Nagi is beginning to have a hard time focusing on anything Reo is saying. All he can think about is Reo’s blushing face and his soft lips on Nagi’s cheek. Nagi daydreams about his lips on Reo’s– he wonders how soft they’d feel then. 

It’s getting to the point where Nagi can’t focus on a single word Reo says, only that his lips are moving and Nagi could press his own up against them. He’d probably feel Reo freeze for a second, and then he’d get to taste those soft lips. Reo would probably be blushing like he always does (in a way that didn’t mean anything– like when Bachira called him cute or when Chigiri complimented his passes. Reo was easily embarrassed, that was why he was always blushing. Nagi wished it were something else.) 

-

It’s been 3 days since Reo kissed him on the cheek, and he hasn’t done it again. Reo hasn’t addressed it since it happened, and Nagi is a bit afraid that maybe Reo read his thoughts or something, and found out how much he liked it, and probably got uncomfortable and now he doesn’t want to kiss Nagi again. 

Nagi wasn’t sure whether Reo could actually read his mind, but if one person could, it would be Reo. Sometimes, on the field, Nagi would feel a slight sense of dryness in his throat, and the next second, Reo would be tossing a water bottle at him. It was scary.

To add onto this theory, Nagi can’t figure out any other reasons Reo would stop kissing him. Nagi obviously liked it, he even gave Reo a kiss back. 

Now, Reo was acting weird. When Nagi would text him memes or his usual good morning, Reo would text back unlike his normal self; uneager and depressingly. That was usually Nagi’s job. 

Unless Reo was the one that didn’t like the kiss…? Then, why did he even do it in the first place, if he didn’t want to? Was he testing Nagi? On what? 

This was really hurting Nagi’s head.

-

On the sixth day of winter break, the anticipation and dread of returning to Blue Lock hang over their heads, coating every word in a sticky syrup that wouldn’t let go. 

Reo is still acting a little weird, but he still agreed when Nagi asked him to hangout. 

For the entire first two hours that they hung out, Reo wouldn’t touch Nagi at all. When they went out to eat, Reo sat across from Nagi rather than next to, like he usually did. Then, when they went to the arcade, Reo didn’t hold onto the arm Nagi wasn’t using to play games, like he always did. Even when Nagi uses his trump card that he had been saving— Reo, my hands are cold…— Reo only offers him his gloves, then shoves his own hands in his pockets. Reo always gave Nagi one glove and held his other hand. 

“Reo. Are you mad at me?” Nagi finally snaps.

“What?! No! W-why would you think that?” 

“Reo has been weird all day. Even since the last time we hung out.” When Reo kissed me, Nagi knows not to say. 

“Whaaatttt!” Reo’s voice goes high-pitched. “I haven’t been weird…pffttt!” 

“Reo’s lying. Reo hasn’t touched me the entire day and barely texted me back. You can’t even look me in the eye.” Nagi says, gently grabbing Reo’s chin and turning it towards himself, trying and failing to ignore the intimacy of the gesture.

“N-Nagi!” Reo blushes and tries to escape the gentle but firm grasp of Nagi’s hand. “I’m n-not lying. I’ve just been busy. Thinking. About— um, about stuff. Like, uh– soccer.” 

“Reo’s a bad liar.” 

“I told you I’m not– I’m not lying, Nagi!” Reo attempts to convince the unrelenting boy. “I’m not mad at you, Nagi, ok? I promise.” 

“Then why is Reo acting so weird…?”

Reo looks up at Nagi for a second, mouth opening, then, even in Nagi’s grasp, manages to look away, to the side, to Nagi’s ear, anywhere but his eyes. He looks so nervous Nagi thinks he’s about to say something– something important. Maybe the truth. 

“It’s nothing, just something stupid. I don’t want you to worry about it, ok, treasure?” 

Nagi pouts at the deflection, then Reo delicately grabs Nagi’s wrist and pries it off of his chin. Nagi’s heart sinks a little, thinking Reo is going to pull away again, like he has been all day. 

Then, Reo goes on his tippy toes a bit and softly pats the top of Nagi’s head. Nagi practically melts into Reo’s hand, wishing he could fuse their bodies into one, and stay with Reo forever. He closes his eyes for a second and tries to make sure he remembers this, the feeling of Reo touching him, just in case Reo gets weird again and doesn’t want to touch Nagi. 

“There. Am I forgiven?” Reo soothes. 

“...I guess.” Nagi can never resist Reo. 

-

When Reo and Nagi make it back to Blue Lock, everything goes back to normal. Reo is touching Nagi again; patting his head when he eats his food, giving him massages when he claims to be sore, and most delightfully: jumping into Nagi’s arms when Nagi manages to score a super goal. 

Nagi tries to score a super goal almost every game now, the reward is worth it. 

One day, the two, along with Isagi and Shidou, get called to Ego’s office. He informs the four that they’ve been invited to a separate national training camp, and he wouldn’t let them go if his boss weren’t the one funding this camp; if he didn’t let them go, he’d get Blue Lock’s funding cut. 

Begrudgingly, he allows them. Everyone goes back home for a day to pack their bags, and then back to Blue Lock to take the bus up to the city. 

All the way up, Nagi notices Reo is particularly antsy. He keeps checking his phone, then rapidly typing, eyebrows furrowed with an emotion Nagi is unsure of. 

When they arrive, Reo looks around the room furiously, like he’s looking for something, then stops, and freezes. 

“Reo? Is something wrong?”

“It’s nothing, Nagi!” 

Reo grins at something Nagi can’t see across the room, then sees a guy with light blonde hair begin to jog over, a similar grin to Reo’s on his face. 

“Mikage! They’re really letting anyone into these camps nowadays, huh?” He says with a chuckle.

“Shut up!” Reo says as he playfully shoves the light-haired boy’s arm. Reo laughs at the joke, and Nagi sees the smile on Reo’s face that he thought was reserved for him. 

Nagi frowns a bit. 

“Nagi, this is Kira Ryosuke, Kira, this is Seishirou Nagi.” Reo gestures between the two. 

“This your teammate now, Mikage?” 

“Yeah, this is my– teammate.” 

Nagi doesn’t like how ordinary that made him seem to Reo. Nagi wasn’t just Reo’s teammate, He was Reo’s– treasure. Partner? No, something more important. Best friend? Best friend? No, that didn’t sound right. 

“Reo, who is this?” Nagi says, hoping the jealousy doesn’t bleed into his voice.

“Nagi, Kira’s my old teammate, we played basketball together back before Blue Lock, then we both switched to soccer! What a coincidence, huh? 

“Seguru won’t shut up about how much he misses the old team, remember how much you used to cry?” Kira says with a teasing smirk. Who was this douchebag to tease Nagi’s Reo?

“What the– It was one time!” Reo turns to Nagi: “Don’t listen to him, treasure! I was never a crybaby.” He says jokingly, half-turned to Kira. 

Reo’s talking to Nagi, but it feels like Nagi is just a tool in Reo and Kira’s stupid conversation. Their stupid conversation with their stupid smiles and stupid inside jokes that Nagi didn’t understand.

Nagi doesn’t reply. He’s not sure what to say.

-

When the camp starts, the wretched coach splits everyone into teams. Of course Nagi’s luck today meant that he would get on the opposing team from Reo and Kira. 

In the beginning, Nagi can withstand the grating voice of Kira against his ears and the weirdly possessive feeling brewing in his stomach. 

Kira calls Reo “Mikage”. No one else calls Reo that. Who does Kira think he is, addressing Reo as if he’s so familiar to him, saying his name like it’s some kind of nickname he came up with? 

Then, when Kira passes Reo the ball, Nagi watches as something pleased makes its way across Reo’s face– not something that anyone else would’ve noticed, just Nagi. He prides himself in how much he pays attention to Reo, how he can almost always know what the other boy is thinking. 

On the other side of the field, it’s clear who the star duo is. Reo and Kira. Mikage and Ryosuke. They continuously pass to one another, scoring numerous goals. Reo isn’t even on Nagi’s team to pay attention to him or praise him when he makes a goal. What’s even the point of playing, then? 

During a water break, Nagi hears it. 

“I dunno man, me and Mikage, we just click.” Kira says obnoxiously. 

Nagi’s blood begins to boil. Who the hell does this guy think he is, talking about Reo this way? Reo was Nagi’s partner, not his. 

“You got lucky.” Nagi says before he can stop himself. He says it loud enough to carry; almost everyone has heard him. 

“What?”

“You’re only scoring because Reo passes to you slow; he’s going easy on you. If you were a better player, Reo would pass to you faster.” Nagi knows it’s not true, Kira is a pretty good player, and Reo could link up with anyone, he was a chameleon after all. Reo is able to adapt to all strikers. 

“...Ok… Must’ve struck a nerve or something…” He mutters under his breath. 

“You didn’t. You just think you’re better than you are and I don’t get what the big deal is.” 

Kira stares at Nagi in shock for a bit, then an annoyed and judgemental face. 

Before Kira can say anything, Reo speaks up. 

“Nagi.” He warns. 

“What?” Nagi replies. “It’s true.”

Reo’s mouth flattens into a line, then a look of disapproval flashes across his face. Nagi doesn’t like it, but right now he’s kind of just annoyed that Reo is taking Kira’s side in all this. Reo was supposed to be Nagi's partner. Nagi was supposed to be Reo’s treasure. 

Nagi doesn’t look at Reo’s face for the rest of practice, he doesn’t want to look at Reo when he’s mad. Nagi doesn’t look at Kira either, he’s afraid he might do something stupid like punch him, and then Reo will be really mad. 

-

The locker room is silent by now, the fog from several showers still clinging to the air, making everything feel warm and sticky. 

Only Nagi and Reo are left in the room by now, everyone else has long since gone. Reo doesn’t offer to dry Nagi’s hair, so Nagi knows Reo is really mad. 

Neither of them have addressed the elephant in the room, making it increasingly awkward. 

“Nagi.” Reo finally says into the silence. “What was with the stunt you pulled today?” 

Nagi sulks for a bit, getting annoyed at the mere memory of Reo taking Kira’s side. 

“He’s not even that good, Reo. I thought you said I was your treasure.” Nagi pouts, feeling a bit childish at the way he says it, and at the sentence itself. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“At the beginning of Blue Lock, do you remember what you said?” Nagi says, and when Reo pauses to think, he continues, “You said you wouldn’t leave me, even if you found someone better.” 

“Nagi, these were assigned teams, I would’ve stayed with you if I could’ve–” 

“You never pass to anyone else. You let him say you guys ‘click’. I thought I was your partner.” 

“Nagi, this isn’t about the game, is it? What is this really about?” 

“Is Reo replacing me?” 

“Wha– No, Nagi, me and Kira are just friends.” Reo attempts to convince. 

A vision flashes through Nagi’s mind. Reo kissing him on the cheek, Reo cuddling with him, pressed into his neck while blushing, Reo letting Nagi kiss him back. Was that a friend thing, or a Nagi thing? Was this something Reo did with all his friends? 

Had Nagi been the fool all along? Unnecessarily and excessively thinking about Reo’s lips on his, thinking about staying with Reo forever. Had he gotten too attached, thought him and Reo were something they weren’t? 

Nagi needs to think about what he knows. Ok, he and Reo were friends, and they were each other’s partners, whatever that was supposed to mean. Reo said he would stay with Nagi forever– no, wait, until they won the World Cup. What about after that? Would Reo just abandon Nagi and their shared dreams of soccer, after his goal was achieved? Would Reo get bored by then? Of soccer, of Nagi? Was he already bored? 

“Do you let him– Are you guys friends like we’re friends?” Nagi manages to croak out, ashamedly. He looks anywhere but Reo when he says it, he feels too much like a child throwing a tantrum. 

Reo goes silent for a second, looking at Nagi with a look that, for once, Nagi can’t decipher. 

“What do you–? Nagi, we’re friends, right? Partners? That’s all?” Reo’s eyes almost look as if he wants Nagi to deny him, tell him he’s wrong. But Nagi thinks that today, he’s learned that he can’t read Reo’s mind like he thought he could; so he’s not sure whether he should do what he thinks Reo wants him to. He barely knows what that is anymore. When Nagi doesn’t answer for a while, Reo asks again. “Nagi, what are you asking me?” 

“I don’t– I don’t know, Reo.” Nagi feels frustrated. He can’t understand what he’s asking Reo and he can’t understand what he wants Reo to say or why he wants him to say it. 

Say you love me. Say you won’t leave me. That no one could ever replace me. 

“Try.” Reo says, and Nagi knows he’s weak to any and all of Reo’s demands.

Nagi thinks back to that day in winter break, the day that caused the crack in the dam, which was about to go crashing. Nagi’s feelings were about to overflow, he didn’t think he would be able to hold them back this time.

He thinks about Reo’s blushing face as he handed him that stupid seal plushie, the press of Reo’s lips to his cheek that followed. He thinks about holding Reo in his arms and kissing his forehead like he always wanted to do when he hugged him. He thinks about how he fell asleep that night, his body pressed against Reo’s. 

He tries not to think about how he wished that he could fall asleep like that every night, for the rest of his life. He thought about that magical day where he thought maybe Reo liked Nagi a bit too much too, like how Nagi liked him. 

It hadn’t happened since, nothing of that sort had. It was probably a fluke, an experiment of Reo’s, where he concluded that he liked Nagi a completely normal amount; definitely less than Nagi liked him. Nagi had spent every day since then hoping something of that nature might happen again. It didn’t. 

“I– Do you guys–” Nagi pauses in frustration, feeling the weight of Reo’s gaze fall across his face. “Do you let him k– Do you, like, kiss him?” 

The moment the words leave Nagi’s mouth, he regrets them. He should’ve never addressed the few kisses they shared. Now that Nagi has gone and made it into a big deal, Reo knows it meant something to Nagi, and he probably does that stuff with his other friends too, and he’ll probably stop doing it around Nagi now because Nagi’s made Reo uncomfortable. 

He feels humiliated, standing across from Reo, still half dressed from his shower, and fully vulnerable. 

“Wha–! Nagi, that’s not—, um, that was— that was different–! I–” 

“Reo, I don’t want you to act with others the way you do around me.” Reo looks at Nagi with wide eyes, mouth slightly parted. It’s too late to go back on his words. “I don’t want you to look at them how you look at me, I don’t want you to call anyone else your treasure, or– or kiss anyone else, I don’t want you to fall asleep in someone else’s bed.” Nagi’s voice wavers. “I–, Reo, I don’t want you to think of others the way you think of me. I want to be special to you.” 

Reo stares at Nagi for a second, and Nagi is afraid he’s said too much. He’s ruined everything, and the look on Reo’s face all but confirms it. And the fact that Reo is just standing there silently isn’t helping either. 

“Reo..?” Nagi takes a step forward, the air tense with words unsaid. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” His voice comes out more quietly than he means it to. He thinks he might look awfully pathetic right now, begging Reo to understand and accept his feelings, maybe even reciprocate them. He pushes his hope far down; he knows he’ll probably get let down.

“Nagi, I–” 

Then, as if the gods all convened for the sole purpose of torturing Seishirou Nagi, a voice interrupts Reo. “Come on, lovebirds, Coach is doing bed checks tonight, and you two are cutting it awfully close!” 

“We– we should go, Nagi!” Reo says, high-pitched. Nagi’s shoulders slump at the deflection. He guesses he knows Reo’s answer now, anyway. 

-

Reo is avoiding Nagi. Nagi knows this because there’s never been a time that Nagi has known Reo that Nagi hasn’t paid the utmost attention to his every move. 

The rooms were assigned alphabetically at the beginning of camp, and for days, Reo has been somehow managing to avoid speaking to Nagi as much as possible, even at night, when the two of them lay on their twin-sized beds, only a few feet apart. Nagi wants to reach out, to hold Reo in his arms, apologize for ruining everything, but Reo is either up and moving around their room, or, when it was time to sleep, saying a stiff ‘good night’ to Nagi, and rolling over before Nagi can get a word in. 

Even when they have to speak, during drills or in passing, Reo manages to look at anywhere but Nagi. Lately, he’s gotten really good at staring just past Nagi’s shoulder; close enough that Nagi knows he’s being addressed, but far enough to not actually make eye contact. 

Tonight is no different. 

Reo’s finished his shower later than Nagi, quickly entering the room with slightly damp hair. Nagi knows he hasn’t been taking care of himself; Reo would normally never go to sleep with wet hair, he knows it would get him sick, he’s always been sensitive– to temperature, to everything else, too. 

As he lays down and says a cold ‘good night’ to Nagi, words that Nagi’s grown to dread– it just means Nagi has gone through another day with Reo mad (?) at him, Nagi speaks. 

“Reo.” 

Reo doesn’t answer. He’s pretending to be asleep. Nagi can tell by the way his breathing is a little too uneven; Reo’s nervous, and he’s bad at pretending to be asleep. 

“Reo, I know you’re awake.” 

“It’s late, Nagi.” A timid voice peeks through Reo’s blanket. “We have drills in the morning.” 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” His voice comes out more sadly than he had hoped. He must be a pitiful sight. Nagi sits up in his own bed, facing Reo’s curled up body across the room, unable to see his face. 

“I haven't–" 

“You won’t look at me, you barely speak to me, you don’t sit next to me at meals anymore. You didn’t even say anything after I–” Nagi can’t bear to finish his sentence. It feels too much like a beg to Reo. 

Please, answer me. Tell me you love me back. 

Don’t hate me forever. 

“Nagi, don’t.” Before Reo can finish his sentence, Nagi's walking across their beds, the few feet that for the past few days, have felt like an abyss. It’s as Reo has feared; Nagi sits down on Reo’s bed. He tries to ignore it. 

“Don’t what? What do you want me to do, Reo?” Nagi is asking out of genuine curiosity. Whatever Reo wants, Nagi will do it, be it. He’d do anything for Reo.

Reo finally sits up and turns to face Nagi, face just barely visible, only illuminated by the crescent moon shining through the small window of their room. Reo looks like he’s decided to say something Nagi won’t like, he’s decided to tell Nagi the truth– put an end to his childish feelings. These silly fantasies of Nagi had finally gone too far.

But then, Nagi sees it, a look in his eye, an upturn of his eyebrows, a small bite of his lips. Then, his gaze flickers down to Nagi’s lips. Nagi watches them. 

“You’re doing it again, Reo.” 

“Doing what?” Reo replies softly. 

“Looking at me like that, with your confusing eyes and looks. You make me feel weird stuff.” 

“Nagi–” Reo says, but it comes out as more of a strangled noise, Reo isn’t really able to get much out. 

“You don’t have to say anything about…what I said the other day.” When I ruined everything. “I’m not asking you to. I–” already know the answer. “I just don’t want you to be mad at me anymore, Reo.” 

Now, Reo is staring at Nagi in the dark, his eyes a bit too shiny, and his face a bit too irresistible. Despite how much he knows he shouldn’t, Nagi leans in to kiss Reo. 

He gently grabs onto Reo’s jaw and tilts it, and their lips meet for a second, maybe less. It’s not much more than a peck, just to quench the desires screaming in Nagi’s heart to kiss Reo, to know what it would be like to taste the beautiful boy he’s loved as long as he’s known. 

When he pulls away, the adrenaline has gone down a bit, and Nagi realizes he’s fucked up. 

Reo had already practically rejected him, he’d ignored Nagi’s confession, and avoided Nagi for days. He shouldn’t have given into his desires, now Reo really would hate him. 

Nagi brings his hand up to his lips, trying his best to ignore the pleasant heat now radiating off of it. His eyes widen, “Reo, I– Sorry…I shouldn’t have–” 

Then, he sees it before he feels it; Reo leans in, and kisses Nagi back. This is everything Nagi has ever dreamed of, and right now, it’s easy to ignore the pit in his stomach at the specific circumstances. 

Maybe– maybe Reo did like him back, and he had just been afraid to say so for the past few days. Reo always got scared of things like that. Maybe when Nagi had told Reo the way he felt, he misunderstood, thought something different, and that was why he didn’t reply– that must be it. 

Or maybe Nagi was getting his hopes up and Reo had understood perfectly well what Nagi had been trying to say, and he just kissed him on impulse. 

These self-deprecating thoughts were putting a downer on Nagi’s mood, which should’ve been on the moon, considering Reo had just kissed him. 

It’s not as innocent as the first kiss, or the cheek kiss Reo had originally given Nagi; this time, it’s clumsy, wet, and Reo lets out a little noise when Nagi pushes harder into Reo’s lips. 

Reo’s fists are on Nagi’s shirt, and for a second Nagi feels terrified that Reo is gonna push him away and say this was a mistake, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls him in closer, hands clutching at Nagi’s shirt like a lifeline, and keeps kissing him. 

When it ends, neither of them say anything. Nagi is afraid that if he does, he might say something wrong and scare Reo off again, like last time. Nagi isn’t sure why Reo doesn’t say anything. 

They sit there for a while, and Nagi presses his forehead against Reo’s, panting. When Reo breathes out, Nagi tries to breathe in, and before Reo breathes in, Nagi tries to breathe out. In this moment, he wishes he could fuse Reo and his skin together, to be as close as possible to Reo, and stay that way forever.

Nagi doesn’t remember how exactly it happened, but he wakes up in the middle of the night, still in Reo’s bed, and more importantly, limbs tangled with Reo’s. He breathes in the scent of Reo’s hair, a bit nostalgic for the scent of the shampoo Reo would use back at home, his fancy one that smelled like lemons. 

-

When Nagi wakes up, Reo is already gone. Probably in the shower. Reo liked to do things like get up early to shower. Nagi will probably talk to Reo later, during drills. 

He doesn’t. 

By the time Nagi gets out of the shower that he rushed so he could meet up with Reo, Reo’s long gone. By breakfast, Nagi spots Reo sitting down three tables down from their usual one, laughing and surrounded by friends, and no seat saved for Nagi. When the two make eye contact, Reo quickly looks away.

It’s fine, Nagi tells himself. Reo just needs time. That’s what people did after these kinds of things; gave each other time. To think things through– the logistics of stuff, like their relationship. Nagi could do that, he could give Reo time. He’d wait for Reo for a million years if that was what Reo wanted. 

So, when Nagi doesn’t have a seat next to Reo at breakfast, he sits at their normal table, alone, and gives Reo space and time. 

Isagi, with a pitiful expression on his face, sits down across from Nagi. 

“Where’s Reo today? Sick or something?” 

“No. Reo’s over there.” Nagi says gloomily. 

Isagi glances over, then at Nagi’s face, then seems to somewhat understand the situation. “Oh.”

They eat in silence for a bit, and Nagi is grateful that they do, he’s pretty tired, and without Reo around, he can’t recharge. After a while, Isagi begins to speak, mostly about nothing.

“Like, it was so crazy! I couldn’t believe Bachira had the nerve to–” 

“Do you miss him?” Nagi isn’t completely sure what possessed him to ask this, considering he wasn’t usually the type of person to ask questions. He thinks of someone else, who is.

“Bachira?”

“Yes.” 

“I mean, I guess, but it’s only been a few days since we’ve gotten to the camp… I guess I’ll miss him afterwards, since we have a bit of a break between the end of this camp and our returning to Blue Lock, but…why do you ask?” 

“I dunno… I guess…” Nagi hopes that Isagi will ask him about Reo. 

“Did something happen between you two? You and Reo, I mean.” It seems the subtext of the conversation wasn’t just in Nagi’s mind. Reo’s presence finds itself wherever Nagi is. 

“Yeah, kinda…” Nagi isn’t sure how much to say, how much is too much. 

He hopes Isagi will keep talking. He hopes he will ask him the questions he knows the answers to best. 

Tell me more, he hopes Isagi will say. 

Do you miss Reo? Do you love him? What’s your favorite thing about him?

If Reo isn’t talking to him, he at least wants to feel the way Reo’s name sounds coming out of his mouth. Forgetting the way it feels might kill him. 

-

He waits through drills, where Reo constantly calls out to others, communicating with his team like a good player, and doesn’t bother sparing Nagi a glance. Not even the bare minimum eye contact needed to play a game of soccer. 

Then, the water break comes, and when Nagi looks over to see who the loud noise is coming from, he sees Kira shoving Reo playfully on the arm, and Reo laughing–unguarded and real. Nagi thought Reo reserved those kinds of laughs and looks for him. 

Nagi has barely been spared a glance for almost a week, and now this stupid moron was getting all of Reo’s attention? This guy didn’t even remotely deserve the privilege of seeing Reo’s laugh. Nagi doesn’t get it. 

He thinks about last night. He kissed Reo, he apologized for messing up and kissing Reo, and then Reo kissed him back. Reo leaned in, pulled Nagi by the front of the shirt in a way that made Nagi foolishly think Reo might have wanted this as badly as him, and kissed Nagi. Nagi thinks about the way they sat there after, breathing in each other’s air. The way Reo let him sleep in his bed, with their bodies pressed together.

Did that not mean anything to Reo? 

Another sharp laugh interrupts his thoughts. Kira, again, laughing at something Reo said. Of course he’s laughing, Reo’s hilarious. 

When Kira laughs, Reo looks at Kira and gives him a small smile.

Nagi grips his water bottle so hard he thinks it might break. 

-

By the time they reach the locker room, Nagi can’t get it out of his head. He loved Reo’s laugh of course, but hearing it directed towards someone else when Reo had been nothing but cold to Nagi lately? It hurt. 

The locker room is half empty, a few stragglers remaining behind, a bit farther away from Nagi and Reo’s lockers. They had picked them on the first day, so of course they were next to each other. Was it a blessing, or a curse?

Reo is pulling his practice jersey off, the sweat-soaked fabric clinging onto his skin. He’s not looking at Nagi, barely even facing him, and definitely not talking to him. 

After last night, Nagi thought it would be fine again. It would go back to normal, with Reo laughing and touching Nagi all the time, and maybe even kissing Nagi sometimes, Nagi dared to hope. He was wrong. 

It was like last night never happened, and it felt like Reo was still upset at Nagi, and Nagi didn’t know why. 

“Do you like him? Kira?” Nagi says before he can stop himself. 

“What?” Reo says, shirt still half-off. Nagi tries not to stare at the broad expanse of Reo’s chest. 

“Do you?” 

“You ignore me, and keep talking to him all day.”

“Nagi, he’s my teammate, I’m allowed to talk to him.” 

“That wasn’t what I was asking, Reo.” 

“Nagi, I’ve told you a million times, he’s just a friend.” 

“You told me once, and you don’t act like it.” Before Nagi knows it, he keeps going. “Why can’t you act that way with me? I just– I want it to be normal again, Reo. I want you to talk to me when we play, I want you to sit next to me at meals, and touch me like you used to, I want— I want you to stop being so— cold.”

“You think I’m cold?” Reo asks incredulously, and a little hurt. “Nagi, I kissed you last night.” Reo says, like a plea, a final prayer, as if to convince Nagi. 

“And now you still won’t speak to me. You kissed me, then you disappeared. Why can’t we just go back to how it used to be? Why can’t you just act with me the way you do around him?”  It comes out louder than Nagi means it to, with more malice behind it, more heat. 

“Because it’s not the same! He’s not y— you’re not–! It’s just– different,”

“What is it? What is different, Reo? Tell me. Because I don’t understand what– I don’t know what you want from me!” Nagi feels frenzied now, his eyebrows furrowed up in confusion and desperation. 

Reo’s back is pressed into the lockers now, and Nagi, subconsciously, has backed him into them, surrounding Reo with his presence in an inescapable haze. 

Reo doesn’t answer, but his eyes betray him. In contrast to the typical cold expression he’s been sporting as of late, his eyes flick downwards, towards Nagi’s mouth. 

Nagi’s weak. He’s weak, he’s in love with Reo, and he can never hold a grudge against the boy he loves. He moves before he thinks. Later, he blames the adrenaline. 

He doesn’t mean to, but this time, the kiss carries all of the week’s frustration behind it. Nagi kisses with a purpose, and his anger not far behind. He presses Reo harder against the lockers, one hand fisted in his shirt, the other grabbing Reo’s face. 

Reo brings his arm to the nape of Nagi’s neck, running it up into his hair and grabbing the back of his head. Nagi hears a broken moan at that, and he realizes it was probably him. 

When they pull away to breathe, Reo gasps out, “Nagi– we shouldn’t– in here– someone might…see.” 

Nagi decides to ignore Reo’s suggestion, instead giving way to his desire of moving to Reo’s neck. He moves downwards, licking a broad stripe up Reo’s neck, and relishes in the sound of Reo’s soft gasp. Then, he finds the place on Reo’s neck where Nagi can feel Reo’s pulse against his lips, and sucks. 

The noise that Reo makes is something Nagi could live off of until he died.

“Ah– Nagi–! Someone could—” 

“I don’t care.” Nagi mumbles against Reo’s neck. “I don’t want him to have you. I don’t want anyone to, except–” Nagi tries not to finish his sentence by opting to teeth at Reo’s ear instead. 

“We can’t do this here–!” Reo says with no real fight behind it, voice breathy, grabbing onto the back of Nagi’s hair harder rather than pushing him off. 

Nagi, pressed up against Reo like this, can feel his heart beating, jumping and sporadically skipping under Nagi’s touch. He presses his lips against the same spot as earlier, this time, with intent. 

He feels Reo’s breath stutter, and it ignites a flame inside of Nagi. He wants to remember this, leave a mark, show he was here. Show Kira that Reo only did this with Nagi, Kira couldn’t make Reo feel this way–not now, not ever. 

Nagi needs to remember this. He needs to look at Reo tomorrow and know this really happened, it wasn’t just a fantasy in his memory like everything has felt these past few days. 

He bites down on his neck, and hears a broken, stuttered noise come out of Reo, that he immediately seems embarrassed by. 

“Nagi–” Reo weakly tries to stop Nagi, but his resolve is weak. 

“Please, Reo?” He kisses over the previous mark in apology, but he’s not really sorry. He wants everyone to know that Reo is his. “Just let me, just this time.” 

Reo doesn’t answer. He doesn’t stop him, either. 

-

Once camp ends, it seems as if everything has gone back to normal. Reo is finally talking to Nagi again, just in time for the ride back, which Nagi hopes will not be awkward. They’ve been talking at mealtimes, Reo, though reluctantly, has begun sitting next to Nagi again, and even occasionally speaking to him when they do drills.

Luckily, Reo doesn’t try ignoring Nagi the entire ride back, maybe because he doesn’t want to, or maybe because he knows he’ll be stuck in the car with him for the next two hours. 

Nagi, for the sake of his sanity, pretends not to notice Reo’s incessant gaze flickering towards his lips every so often. It didn’t mean anything, so there was no use thinking about it. 

Nagi too had been staring at Reo’s lips, probably less subtly than Reo, because he wanted to kiss him again. Really badly. 

But Nagi knew that Ba-ya might be able to see, and if she did, Reo would probably get all embarrassed and flustered because he cared what everyone thought of him. So, Nagi didn’t kiss him. He could wait, he had manners. 

-

Nagi’s not sure how many days into their short break they are– the days all blend together when you sleep as much as he did– but he was awoken by a ceasing and tumultuous pounding on his door. 

“Nagiiii~” He heard Reo whining from outside his door. “Come on, let me in! Are you awake?” Reo says, then Nagi hears him shuffling around, and then, when Nagi’s phone begins to ring, he realizes Reo had been looking for his phone.

“Yes, Reo?” Nagi mumbles into his phone. 

“I’m outside, treasure! Open the door,” Reo begs, his voice coming from the phone and outside the door overlapping. 

“I know you are…” Nagi shuffles over to the door, dragging his feet. He opens the door with a, “Just woke up, Reo…” And tries to turn around to go back to bed, but is stopped by a hand on his wrist pulling him back. 

This time, unlike all the others, before Blue Lock, before Kira, before they had kissed, Reo looks at Nagi with a sense of urgency, something in his eyes lit aflame. 

Nagi feels Reo grab his face, less gently than he was used to, and immediately plant his lips onto Nagi’s. 

“Mm– Reo–!” Nagi yelps. “What’s–! Up–!?” He tries to get out, hardly able to due to Reo’s constant kissing. 

“I just… missed–  this,” Reo mumbles into Nagi’s neck, pressing a light kiss right below his jaw. In Nagi’s most indulgent fantasies, Reo says he misses Nagi. Nagi can’t escape the pit in his stomach. 

Don’t get him wrong– Nagi loved this. He loved, well, Reo; he loved kissing Reo, and being around Reo, too. But… this wasn’t how he wanted it to happen. He had wanted it to go back to how it was, but this wasn’t how it used to be. 

It couldn’t go back to how it used to be. Because before Nagi hadn’t tasted Reo’s lips, or had the life-ruining realization that he was in love with Reo, despite having been all along. 

“Nagi?” Reo calls, holding the other’s face in his hands with a worried expression. “Is something wrong? Did I bite you too hard?” 

The look on Reo’s face is so tender and worried it almost lets Nagi believe, just for a second, that Reo might love him back. When Nagi’s eyes flicker down towards Reo’s swollen and wet lips, the illusion is shattered. 

Reo just liked kissing, experimenting with Nagi. He didn’t need Nagi the same way Nagi needed him. Nagi felt sick to his stomach. 

“Nagi?” Reo’s voice calls out again, pulling Nagi out of his self-deprecating thoughts. 

“I– I can’t do this anymore.” Nagi watches Reo’s face fall. “Not like this.”

Reo stares at Nagi for a second, eyes shining with desperate words unsaid. 

“W-what do you mean?” Reo says, clearly hoping for a specific answer. Nagi wasn’t sure he could give it to him. 

Reo’s ruined him, he really has. Reo had gone and made Nagi feel loved, cared for. He made him food, slept in bed with him, and kissed him under the cover of the moon. 

He had incessantly spent time with him and taken care of him, and now Nagi had begun to get used to it. He’d gotten greedy, and wanted more. And Reo didn’t want to give him that. Reo had given Nagi a desire for warmth, and Nagi wasn’t made for that. Nagi was made to feel cold. 

Reo made the world entirely bright, it was like he had swallowed sunshine and was walking around illuminating the entire world, just for Nagi. 

“You’ve ruined me, Reo.” Nagi hears his voice break on its way out. Nagi wishes his heart would beat as slowly as it used to– before Reo.

Reo only looks at Nagi with a confused look, his brows furrowed. Nagi feels the urge to smooth them out along the bridge of his nose with his thumb. 

“I can’t kiss you anymore, not like this. Not without an answer.” Nagi pleads. “I don’t want just this with you, Reo. Just kissing or– or you experimenting with me or something– I can’t live like this. Maybe– Maybe you misunderstood last time, or maybe I didn’t make it clear enough, but I’m doing it now. Reo, I love you. And I can’t do this kissing stuff anymore where we kiss and then you ignore me and I try to pretend it doesn’t mean anything to me, because it does. It means too much to me– You mean too much to me.” 

He breathes out, then keeps going. The words are coming out like vomit, and his heart only drops more with every word, but he needs to say it. Reo deserves that. Reo deserves the entire world. 

“A-And I’m sorry if I haven’t been fair to you, about Kira, and about this whole,” He gestures with his hands between the two of them, “thing, but I can’t do it anymore, Reo. It feels like torture to be around you, and with you, like this, and not have you be mine.” 

Reo stares up at Nagi for a second, completely stunned, and when Nagi stares back, he realizes Reo is crying. He tentatively takes Reo’s face into his hands and begins to wipe the tears away, when Reo begins to speak. 

“Nagi, I’m– I’m so sorry,” He sobs. Nagi thinks he knows where this is going, and he won’t like it. “I– This entire time, I’ve been so afraid to mess up what we have, it’s just– I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and relationships rarely work out the way you want them to… I wanted to be with you but I was– I still am, so afraid of losing you, Nagi. I don’t know what I’d do if I did.” Reo sniffles. “I did all of this because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship but– I ruined it anyway, I made you feel like– like this.” 

“Reo…” 

“No– let me– I need to say it. I’ve loved you for so long I don’t even remember when it started. Probably when I first saw you, honestly. I’ve been in love with you for a long time, and I was too much of a coward to say it, even after you– you told me how you felt, that day, in the locker room.”

The pit in Nagi’s stomach begins to feel lighter, and for once, he’s glad that he’s wrong. 

“Then why Kira–” Nagi manages to croak. “Why act like–”

“I’m so sorry, Nagi. I was just so afraid of the way I felt around you and what was happening– I just tried to stay away from you. But obviously, that didn’t work. I couldn’t do it, Nagi. I can’t be away from you.”

Nagi leans in, finally running his thumb up against the bridge of Reo’s nose, smoothing out the furrow between his brows. He pulls him in for a soft kiss, then–

“Say it again.” Nagi whispers against Reo’s lips. 

“I love you.” 

Reo giggles, pulling Nagi in for another kiss. He pecks Nagi’s face everywhere, one on the eyelid, one on the corner of his mouth, one on his cheek, and one on his forehead; with every kiss, Reo mutters an ‘I love you’. 

“Reo…” Nagi murmurs contentedly. Even he hears the affection dripping from his voice.