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"What do you even mean by that?" Lamin asked as he sipped his juice, addressing his friend Suhaib who sat across from him, holding his head in his hands trying to control his anger. When he heard Lamin's question, he immediately burst out "And how would I know, man? Every day it's something new with her! Since when is love free of jealousy?! What kind of love is she even talking about??"
"Calm down now, do you want the king to hear your suffering or what?" Lamin joked, lightly touching his friend's arm to get him to lower his voice a little. They were currently in a café in the middle of a Barcelona neighborhood, and Suhaib's angry voice had drawn them some attention. Lamin truly did not want to find his picture on a newspaper tomorrow with the headline "Young Barça player Lamine Yamal loses his mind and disturbs people with his screaming" just because he was trying to comfort his friend through an emotional crisis.
Suhaib had broken up with his girlfriend for the millionth time, and had dragged Lamin along to complain about the situation. So here they were now, sitting and reviewing the reason for the breakup while one of them cried and the other drank his mango juice with little to no interest in this repetitive movie.
"Suddenly my jealousy suffocates her, suddenly I'm controlling. It was never a problem before! But now I've become the toxic, jealous villain," Suhaib said, covering his eyes to hide his tears. Lamin said nothing other than repeating "It's okay, it's okay" while patting his friend's arm each time.
He knew this breakup wouldn't last long. Suhaib had no shred of dignity when it came to his moody girlfriend, and he would surely go back to her like a puppy when she woke up tomorrow and misses his presence. All Lamin had to do now was listen to his problem and wipe his tears until the day ended.
"I just don't want her to go to a party with strange men alone, what's wrong with that?" Suhaib said, then added in a whisper "I'm not jealous at all, I'm not a toxic man" from beneath his hands covering his face.
Lamin agreed with him even though they both knew that wasn't true at all. Suhaib was jealous and possessive, and Lamin knew that well because he was the same.. they had grown up together and had discussed matters of love many times before, and had reached the same conclusion from an early age: that love must be accompanied by jealousy, and that person who doesn't get jealous; doesn't love at all.
Lamin was lucky that Cuba -his lover and closest friend in the universe- understood his jealousy and possessiveness.
If he were like Suhaib's girlfriend, they would have broken up a century ago and Lamin's life would have already ended, because:
First: he cannot live without his own Pau.
Second: he is jealous and possessive to levels that surpass even Suhaib.
Suhaib's girlfriend wasn't famous, wasn't the best defender in all the clubs and national teams of the world, and wasn't as handsome as his little golden Pau. So, of course, Lamin would put in more effort than Suhaib and more than any other lover to protect his wonderful relationship.. even if his efforts were suffocating and annoying sometimes; that was fine as long as Pau didn't mind.
___________
When evening came upon Lamin while he was at Cuba's house, playing video games together with zero physical distance between them, Lamin suddenly remembered his friend Suhaib's crisis, and laughed a little before saying to Cuba while they were still focused on the game, "Suhaib broke up with his girlfriend."
"Again?" Pau replied immediately, making Lamin laugh more and explain, "Yes, again. If they didn't break up every week, I'd suspect they'd been replaced in some lab." And he noticed from the corner of his eye Pau's lovely smile.
"But I kind of understand her this time. Suhaib's jealousy can be suffocating sometimes," Lamin said, still focused on the huge screen in front of him. He didn't want to lose, but he also didn't want to stop talking to Pau. He loved these quiet evenings between them and loved filling them with small, meaningless conversations.
"They broke up because of his jealousy then? That makes sense. No one likes being controlled by another person," Pau said, continuing to play as well. "What do you mean?" Lamin asked with some interest.
"You know.. where were you? Where are you going? With whom? I don't want you to talk to this one, I don't want you to follow that one's page, I don't want you to think about that other one! Man, that's a prison. I can't imagine doing anything like that to you," Cuba said smoothly, as if he had suffered all of this before.
And he had indeed suffered all of this before!!
The word "prison" repeated in Lamin's mind repeatedly, and he looked at Cuba's face in shock, which caused him to lose the game. But he didn't care because the alarms inside his head were more terrifying than losing.
"Prison?" Lamin asked while the other celebrated his victory with a small dance, only to stop immediately upon hearing the question and answer simply, "Yes, prison. Restricting your relationships and controlling you. It's toxic, you know. I would never do that to you, Lamin, trust me."
Lamin raised his eyebrows in surprise, put his game controller aside, and said, "But Pau... I do that to you. Do you think I am toxic?"
Pau was surprised, as if the conversation had taken an entirely unexpected turn, and said doubtfully, "No, you don't."
Lamin raised his eyebrow and they were silent for a few seconds before Cuba said, his cheeks reddening, "Yes, maybe you do that a little."
Then he continued nervously, "But I don't mind, trust me. It's different with you."
"Different how? Specifically?" Lamin asked with a serious face, his heart beating at two thousand miles an hour. Did Pau actually think he was imprisoned with him?
"I don't know how, but I love our relationship. Seriously, we're different," Pau replied nervously, his face completely flushed, avoiding looking into Lamin's eyes. Then he stood up quickly and stammered, "I'll get us some ice cream" and ran quickly to the kitchen with stumbling steps.
Lamin watched his back as he walked away and felt the world spinning around him. The universe had ended. The sun would explode tomorrow and everyone would go extinct.
Pau was afraid of him????
He felt that he was suffocating him with his jealousy and couldn't even face him with the truth????
He hadn't realized he was gripping his hands tightly until he opened them and found them sweaty, with marks of his nails in his palms.. Lamin was truly stupid! He had thought Cuba was different from Suhaib's girlfriend in being understanding unlike her, but it turned out he was different from her only in courage!!
Because Suhaib's girlfriend was brave enough to ask for a breakup immediately.. but Cuba.. poor, lovely, perfect Cuba; couldn't face Lamin with the idea of breaking up, and was afraid of him, because Lamin was crazy by nature; so he tried to convey the idea indirectly by saying their relationship was a prison!!
"Here comes the ice cream plane!" Pau said with exaggerated happiness, feeding Lamin ice cream with a spoon instead of handing it to him like a normal adult. And Lamin, who was lost in his thoughts, didn't really focus on that, and obediently ate what was placed in front of his mouth.
He also didn't focus when Pau started kissing him, even though he reciprocated mechanically. Their cold tongues from the vanilla ice cream quickly became warm between them, and Lamin couldn't help but think of one thing...
'He can never.. ever.. lose Pau.'
__________
The next morning; as soon as Lamin returned home, he immediately went to his computer and began his search journey about "toxic love" and how to turn it into "healthy love."
Lamin would lose himself before he lost Pau!
He flipped through videos and Reddit threads about others' experiences, also found himself reading articles on dealing with a jealous partner to understand Cuba's perspective.
And ended up after two hours of extensive searching with one conclusion:
He was the worst boyfriend a sane person could have!
Narcissistic, possessive, controlling, and an energy sucker!!
The last one; he didn't fully grasp, so he immediately texted Pau: "Do I suck your life energy?"
To which the other immediately replied, "Yes, and you swallow too. I love you" with a gif of a smiling dog.
Lamin stared at the message for some long seconds, before looking at the ceiling above him and thinking whether the horny bastard Cuba was actually worth the effort or not.
Of course he was worth it.. but Lamin wanted to pretend he wasn't that desperate.
He opened a notebook on his desk and began writing down the toxic behaviors that made him a bad boyfriend according to the internet, and the alternative behaviors he should do to maintain his relationship with Pau:
Bad boyfriend: _Doesn't allow you to spend time with others.
Good boyfriend: _Knows that your life shouldn't stop at him and supports all your other relationships.
Bad boyfriend: _Asks about every detail of your day and tracks your every move to a suffocating degree, as if he wants to install a surveillance camera above your head.
Good boyfriend: _Gives you your free space, cares about your life without pressuring you to know it.
Bad boyfriend: _Asks you to cut off relationships with anyone he feels threatened by.
Good boyfriend: _Trusts you and your ability to set appropriate boundaries with creeps.
Bad boyfriend: _Overdoes physical affection in public to show ownership, gets annoyed by your refusal.
Good boyfriend: _Shows his love quietly and not for the sake of others, accepts it if you refuse.
Bad boyfriend: _Offers sex as a substitute for an apology for any misunderstanding on his part, also offers it as a gift instead of real items. (Lamin remembered with a guilty conscience all the times he had merely offered his body to Cuba in exchange for a good performance from the defender in their matches; instead of an actual gift that would make him happy.)
Good boyfriend: _Sex is separate thing from any other kind of communication. His apologies and gifts are direct, and he doesn't try to exploit your pleasure for his own benefit.
Lamin bit his pen while contemplating this list. He was literally guilty of every single box on the bad boyfriend list. He didn't know how Cuba had put up with him all this time..
And the bigger problem was that he couldn't imagine how he could turn into a good boyfriend now, because the required nonsense was literally impossible.
Give Pau his space? Allow others to get close to him and let him deal with them with his endless kindness? Stop touching him in front of cameras to show ownership to the public? Madness! Breaking up would be easier than silently enduring this!!
A flood of notifications from Pau snapped him out of his thoughts. He opened his phone, clicked the first message which was a link before reading the rest, and found himself on an article about himself titled "A Frightening Talent; Lamine Yamal is a Bigger Threat Than Everyone Imagines" with a huge picture of him kicking a ball.
He went back to his chat with Pau and read the rest of the texts:
"Look how they talk about you!!"
"My talented boy who threatens the biggest clubs in Europe"
"My chest is bursting with pride, I want to kiss you until you lose your breath, you're the best"
Lamin reread the messages several more times. Cuba was worth enduring hell for if necessary.. He bit the pen still between his teeth, then silently resolved to change if it meant keeping this relationship.. and sent to Cuba, "I love you more than anything in this world," and he meant every letter of that.
_________
The change began gradually. Lamin; despite his intense efforts; couldn't transform into a good boyfriend overnight. He couldn't stop the annoyance from showing on his face whenever anyone got close to Pau during training.
Gavi wrapping his arm around Cuba's neck: Annoyance (Why is he even touching him??)
Hector playing with Cuba's hair: Anger (Does he wish his hand would get cut off?)
Fermin hugging Cuba: Rage (Just marry him then! Go on! It's not like Cuba has had a boyfriend since he was a stupid kid.)
But after many attempts, Lamin got used to suppressing his annoyance. He would just grit his teeth without pulling Cuba away from whoever was touching him..
And it seemed that his previous behavior had been so insane that Pau asked on the very second day of this change, "Are you okay? Does Hector touching me not bother you?" with an annoying smile on his handsome face.
"Why would I be bothered? He's just your friend, he's not a threat to me," Lamin said with distaste, sitting on a ball while looking up at Pau standing in front of him.
Pau laughed and patted messed his hair, saying, "Oh, our cute little boy has finally matured!" only to receive a kick from Lamin that hurt him so much that it made him hop on one foot.
_______
Then came the step of personal space, which was mental torture for Lamin. He had to live with his curiosity about Pau's details so as not to seem like an obsessed person, even though he was, but he had to pretend for the sake of love... please, someone just kill him.
Every time Pau went out to hang out with his friends, Lamin would just say, "Enjoy" or "Have a good day."
Without asking "With who? Where to? Why? When will you be back? Who's riding in your car? Who's breathing next to you?"
He wished he could shrink to the size of a fingertip to live in Cuba's pocket and know all his news. But here he was, now having to allow him to have his "space" so he wouldn't run away from him.
Pau asked him once, on one of the occasions he was going out alone, when Lamin didn't want to know who he was going out with. And Lamin just drew a faint smile (more fake than the plastic in the oceans) and said, "I don't care who you go out with, I trust you and I want you to enjoy your time."
Pau's face at that moment looked like someone who had just heard the worst joke in the history of comedy. Furrowed brows and puzzled expressions. And he didn't say anything extra.
_________
He proved his trust again when a fan came and gave Cuba her number. Lamin wanted to grab the paper from his hands and eat it so it would disappear forever. But he just looked at Pau and joked, "Your admirers are falling from the sky. Lucky you, Cuba!"
Cuba smiled at him, a smile that didn't reach his eyes, and tore up the paper while saying, "Lucky me, indeed."
_______
As for the public physical contact to show ownership; Lamin decided he would not hug Cuba or get close to him to celebrate any goal in the friendly matches they played.
He would just pat the other's shoulder if he did well, or hug him in a group hug along with other players.
He genuinely wanted to drink acid. Since when was hugging considered something toxic? Lamin had been hugging Cuba even before he knew he loved him, or knew what love meant at all.
But the internet had decided it was toxic if it was intended as possession.. and since all of Lamin's actions were based on possession anyway; this too became forbidden to him.
Cuba, on the other hand, didn't know these rules. And when Lamin tried to avoid him, he pulled him into a strong hug by force and then looked at him with angry eyes. Lamin knew those eyes well because they were the same eyes Pau would look at their opponents with if he got too immersed in the game and forgot it was a sport, not war.
Did he want to go to war against Lamin now?
Lamin swallowed his saliva.. but he was proud of himself despite everything. He had tried over the previous two weeks to transform into a good boyfriend, and he thought he had succeeded to a large extent.
He had already noticed that Cuba's mood had continued to sour as the days went by. But he felt happy that he hadn't contributed to bothering his beloved. Whatever the reason (Lamin assumed it was most likely the pressure coming with the start of the season) he at least hadn't added to it with his jealousy and control.
_________
Cuba's performance in their first match of the Spanish league exceeded all expectations.. Lamin had expected his boy to shine as usual. But what he hadn't expected was that Cuba led the defenders with exaggerated strictness to block any type of attack before it even reached the goal area. The match ended with zero shots on goal from Sevilla, and two goals for Barcelona, with Lamin assisting one.
When Lamin was exchanging greetings with the Sevilla team, Romero grabbed his hand and said laughing, "What's wrong with your friend? He was about to kill me every time I got the ball," pointing with his eyes at Cuba while covering his mouth with his hand.
Yamal laughed in turn because he had indeed noticed Cuba's harshness during this match and said, "Good thing you didn't get it much then," which earned him a light punch from Romero that made him laugh more.
And in a moment, he turned towards Cuba to find him indeed looking his way. His facial expressions were truly unreadable, but it was easy to say he wasn't happy.. not happy at all.
Lamin waved at him, but the other ignored him and headed towards the player's tunnel without even celebrating with the crowd. Lamin felt a bit shocked and decided to hurry as much as he could to follow him.
In the changing room, Cuba was isolated. His aura made the rest of the players keep away from him and leave him alone. It wasn't the first time one of them was in a bad mood even after a win; so it wasn't something new.. no one knew all the details of another's life anyway, and they couldn't force each other to talk.
Lamin, on the other hand, knew Pau's life details, and he knew he had no convincing reason for all of this. Even if he was stressed from the start of the season; his behavior was excessive.
And it seemed everyone thought his energy was unusual because he was called for a doping test. When he followed the coach silently, they all exchanged glances but no one said anything, and quickly they returned to their cheerful winning vibe.
It wasn't a defining match because the season had just began, but a win is a win, and it should be appreciated.
After Lamin changed his clothes, he headed straight to the lab that one of the technical staff members had directed him to. And as soon as he entered, he saw Pau sitting silently on one of the metal chairs. He sat next to him and said, "Did they take the samples yet?"
They hadn't. Why would Pau still be here if they had? What a stupid question. But Cuba didn't scold him for his stupidity and answered briefly, "I gave them a urine sample, and they'll also draw some blood," which made Lamin nod and say, "Good, good" in a low voice while letting the silence creep between them for seconds in the cold lab.
Cuba was still wearing his sports kit stained with grass and blood. Lamin looked at him and asked, "Are you hurt?" Pau turned to him and sighed, then said impatiently, "Scratched my arm on the post. I was right in front of you, Lamin."
"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention," he said guiltily and bit his lower lip, then added, "You need to clean it now, I can help you," and almost stood up to get a first aid kit from the lab, but Cuba grabbed his hand and gestured for him to stay with his new smile that didn't reach his eyes, then said flatly, "Never mind. You can trust me, I'll do it myself," with a cheeky wink at the end.
Lamin was surprised for a moment at what he heard. He had said "I trust you" repeatedly lately, but not about things like this. Rather, about any threat he felt. He said it to himself before Cuba. He trusted his lover and wouldn't control him so their relationship could be healthy. Isn't that the right thing to do?
"What do you mean?" Lamin said, making Cuba laugh a short, sarcastic laugh and say, "You know what I mean."
No, Lamin didn't know what was happening. But before he could ask more; a nurse came to start drawing blood from Cuba. And it never escaped Lamin how the other flirted with her!!!
Why was he smiling so much?? Why was he prolonging eye contact with her?? And what were these short conversations his introverted, shy lover was trying to create with her now??!! Did he like her????????
Lamin wanted to punch him and push her away. He genuinely wanted to hurt him! But that would make him a black flag and not just a red one. It would turn him from a bad boyfriend trying to be good, to an ex-boyfriend who deserved prison.
Cuba looked at him for seconds amidst what was happening, and for some reason, his mood soured even more. The smile completely fell from his face. The "war" features returned to him. But at least he stopped flirting with the nurse and completely ignored her suddenly. The poor, annoying woman was shocked by his sudden coldness and completed her work nervously.
When she finished taking the sample, Lamin said to the nurse, "Can we get a first aid kit, antiseptic and gauze at least? He got hurt by the post." But Cuba stood up in the middle of his speech and left them alone!
Lamin exchanged a confused look with the nurse without realizing it, then stood up quickly to catch up with Cuba. The latter completely ignored him when he called out, and continued straight to the showers.
One of the technical staff members saw Lamin before the latter reached the showers and said, "Lamin! Wait!" which distracted his scattered attention due to Pau's behavior.
The worker said, "The players' bus has already left. You and Pau will go back with us, but you'll have to wait a little because we're still busy. That's okay by you, right?"
Lamin nodded quickly. He didn't really care about that right now.
"Good then. Get yourselves ready and you can wait for us inside the bus for a while," the worker added before leaving Lamin alone. The latter quickly completed his steps towards the showers, his heart beating nervously.
The sound of water was loud in one of the small cubicles. Lamin hesitated for a moment before calling out, "Cuba, are you here?" and slowly headed towards the sound. Finally, he reached the curtain. Immediately, Cuba opened it for him. Completely naked, with anger still visible on him.. The water had stopped but he was still wet, of course. His hair pushed back made his face several times sharper.
"What?" he said rudely, but Lamin couldn't pay attention to that because his eyes were roaming over Pau's toned body and saliva had accumulated in his mouth. He swallowed and raised his gaze to Cuba's sharp eyes, stammering, "What what?"
"What do you want, Lamin?" Pau asked in a louder than usual voice, which provoked a natural aversion in Lamin's body, making him step back a small step without realizing it, and he said in a whisper, "I don't know."
Then he suddenly composed himself and added in a clearer voice, "I just followed you to tell you that you can take your time in the shower. The players' bus has already left and we'll leave in the technical staff one."
His eyes drifted downward and his voice dropped again. He was trying to be a good boyfriend, trying by all means. God knows how much he was trying. But he was thirsty now, and Pau was in front of him. Angry. Deserving of an apology. After playing in a way that deserved a reward too.
Lamin knew a very good way to achieve both.
He would be so good for him.
Cuba hummed, having noticed the other's hungry looks, and Lamin had felt that hum travel through the nerves of his spine and give him an uncontrollable shiver.
No, apology alone. Gift alone. Sex alone. That's what a good boyfriend does!
Lamin wanted to slap himself because he was about to throw all the progress their 'healthy' relationship had made into the trash.
"Sorry for not paying attention to your injury during the match" he said with feigned steadiness, ignoring the burning desire inside him.
He raised his eyes to Cuba and added "I brought you a small gift. A bracelet I'm sure you'll like. I knew you'd play well in the match and deserve a reward." The other simply raised an eyebrow in question.
"Finish what you were doing" Lamin said and closed the curtain. As soon as he turned to leave, he heard the sound of the curtain opening behind him and immediately felt Cuba pull the hood of his sweatshirt and drag him into the narrow shower cubicle with him.
"What! What's happening?" Lamin said nervously as Cuba's naked body surrounded him from all sides. The other grabbed his neck and said "What's happening with you, Lamin? Have you gone crazy?" and he seemed completely serious with his question.
His cold, wet body was melting Lamin more with every passing second. He noticed he was holding Cuba's shoulder with one hand and his waist with the other to keep his balance. He wanted to move them away but it seemed their skin had stuck together. Lamin would rather separate his soul from his body now than separate their touch. But he had to be a good boyfriend, right?
He looked at Cuba with eyes scattered with desire and said "Huh?"
The other was not in the mood for stupidity and asked directly "You're avoiding me. There's something going on with you. What's been wrong with you lately?!"
His lips were very pink. Lamin wanted to lift himself up to them and taste them. He wanted to caress Pau's body and leave his marks everywhere possible.
But no, that wasn't right. He had to be a good boyfriend. He couldn't lose Pau with his selfishness. Lamin was a good boyfriend. He repeated that in his mind over and over, and even whispered it to himself. His voice wasn't loud enough, so Cuba asked "What did you say?" while still gripping the hood of his sweatshirt and pulling at his neck.
Damn, Lamin really wanted to kiss him now.. He was trying to be good. Why did the universe have to burn his attempts like this?!
"I'm trying to be a good boyfriend" he said as his hand began to massage Cuba's waist unconsciously.
A look of surprise appeared on Cuba's handsome face, and he asked "What are you talking about?" and his previous sharpness still laced his voice a little.
"The good boyfriend. Gives his partner space. Doesn't annoy them with jealousy and questions" his eyes dropped to Cuba's member and he sighed lightly. He wanted to suck it now. Why did everything have to be so hard?
He returned his gaze to Cuba's eyes and saw him processing Lamin's words in his head. His gears turned in place for seconds before he said "And who told you that?" in a gentler voice, having finally noticed Lamin's aroused state.
"Suhaib's girlfriend.. you.. the internet.. everyone," Lamin said and swallowed his saliva for the thousandth time. Both his hands were gently touching Cuba's body. He had never wanted anything in his life more than Cuba right now.
"Damn it, Lamin! What does that have to do with our relationship?" Cuba said with irritation. Lamin's stupidity had genuinely annoyed him. He had spent two long weeks wondering why his lover had changed. Sometimes he thought he had done something wrong to him, other times he thought Lamin had lost interest and didn't love him anymore. They had been the longest two weeks of his life. And now the reason turned out to be the opinions of Suhaib's girlfriend and the internet?!
And on top of that, he couldn't even get as angry as he should, with Lamin looking at him now with those sweet, hungry eyes.
"I didn't want to suffocate you with my behavior. You're the one who said jealousy is a prison, and I didn't want to imprison you so you wouldn't hate me" Lamin said, moving his body spontaneously as he justified his position; not realizing he would open the shower handle with it, and suddenly water gushed at full speed from above them.
"Damn," Lamin yelled and his clothes quickly got wet. He reached his hand back and turned off the shower nozzle, still grumbling "What the hell is this design?! Don't they know a person might walk in here with their clothes on and get accidentally wet?"
Cuba was watching him through all of this. His Lamin. The stupid, impulsive, and very sweet one.. who had made him go through the strangest two weeks possible just because he didn't want to lose him.
He reached his hand behind Lamin and turned the nozzle back on, then pulled him and turned him towards the other wall, moving him away from the shower handle. He deserved to get wetter. This was the least punishment possible for what he had made Cuba feel.
The other yelled and flailed a little, before finding himself restrained by Cuba. His hands above his head and his lips being devoured, not just kissed.
Cuba thought he deserved that too. He deserved the harsh kisses and the sweet ones maybe. Because, for all his stupidity, he had been so lovely as well.
Trying to change for his sake was something that made Cuba's heart swell in his chest.
Lamin, the star boy, the confident one who didn't care about anyone's opinion of him; was changing so he wouldn't lose Cuba?
Jealousy was the last thing that would make him lose him. Cuba genuinely wondered if there was anything Lamin could do to make him walk away. And the answer wasn't far from nothing.. Cuba was truly pathetic.
He started kissing Lamin's neck and tasting his skin through the cold water.. "Cuba, let go of me," Lamin said pleadingly. His voice trembled slightly with desire. Then he added, "I want to touch you," as he raised and lowered his body involuntarily, just because he wanted more friction with Cuba.
Heard and obeyed, Pau thought, releasing Lamin's hands. Then each of them began to roam his hands over the other's body. They could do this forever if given the chance.
"What a good boyfriend" Cuba whispered in his lovers ear while making a mess out of him, "the best in the world".
________
Some time later; when they returned to the changing room and Lamin had to borrow Cuba's spare clothes; he pulled Cuba's hand, and a silver Thomas Sabo bracelet was placed around it.
"A gift for your good performance, and you can consider it an apology too" Lamin said with a proud smile. Pau kissed the corner of his lip with an even bigger smile.
The angry Cuba had completely vanished now, leaving behind many marks on his lover's body.
"But Pau.. I want to ask you something," Lamin said as he put on his shoe as a final step before finishing getting ready. "Ask" Cuba replied, sitting next to him, touching the bracelet with all the love in the world.
"If my jealousy doesn't bother you, why did you describe it as a prison?" Lamin asked, intertwining his fingers with Cuba's above the bench they were sitting on.
Cuba's cheeks suddenly flushed and he tensed up a bit. Lamin raised an eyebrow at him and waited for his answer. Cuba knew it was impossible for him to avoid the question or run away from it. Because he wouldn't want to let Lamin doubt himself again.
So he swallowed his saliva and said slowly; "It wasn't your jealousy I described as a prison." Lamin tilted his head hearing Cuba, who hesitated before adding "It was my own."
"What?" Lamin said with amazement and lack of understanding. Cuba's jealousy? Since when did Cuba get jealous?
Pau mumbled. He took a few seconds to find his words and answered "When we were together that day, we were having a good time, and suddenly you started talking about Suhaib and I felt jealous that you were thinking of him while you were with me. And it was a very stupid thinking. So I said what I said to myself, not to you."
Lamin took some very long seconds to understand. A long silence fell between them. Then he burst out laughing as loudly as possible.
"You're jealous of Suhaib?! No way!" he said between his laughs. Cuba's face grew redder and redder. He pulled his intertwined hand from Lamin's and covered his face with it along with his other one, whispering beneath them, "I know, I know. I felt stupid too."
Lamin didn't stop laughing until his eyes teared up. He wiped them lightly and said, "That's the strangest thing I've ever heard. You know he's my childhood friend, right?"
Cuba mumbled and said, "I'm your childhood friend. He was just there," which made Lamin laugh more and say, when he suddenly remembered, "He went back to his girlfriend again by the way."
"Damn him and his girlfriend," Cuba said with all the shyness in the world. And Lamin just kept laughing until his stomach hurt.
If this is toxic love; they are both aren't minding it at all, so who cares.