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English
Series:
Part 1 of Raising A College Student That Shouldn’t Exist
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Published:
2026-08-08
Updated:
2026-09-14
Words:
1,857
Chapters:
4/?
Comments:
41
Kudos:
100
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7
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1,413

Raising A College Student That Shouldn’t Exist

Summary:

It-

 

..doesn’t hurt anymore?

Derek slowly blinks his eyes open, confused as fuck. He should be dead right now. As much as he doesn’t want to think about it, he should. So why is he still her-

The sound of groaning coming from behind him makes him turn around so fast he was scared he was going to fall over and out of his gaming chair from whiplash.
 

——————
OR

 

a stupid ass AU where Hastur manages to fuck possessing someone up and instead gets his own body and is forced to adapt to the human world

Notes:

HIHIHIHIHIHI

im actually really proud of this lol

It is kinda short and shitty but I’m fine with how it turned out overall

Ok uh yeah

Also why there’s like a ton of other ARGS you’ll uh

See later ok

Ok cool now read

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: The Beginning.

Chapter Text

Derek’s head hurt like hell. Heck, he was practically paralyzed at this point.

 

It hurts.

 

 


It hurts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It hur ts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


I t  h ur t s

 

 

 

It-

 

 

 

 

 

 

..doesn’t hurt anymore?

Derek slowly blinks his eyes open, confused as fuck. He should be dead right now. As much as he doesn’t want to think about it, he should. So why is he still her-

The sound of groaning coming from behind him makes him turn around so fast he was scared he was going to fall over and out of his gaming chair from whiplash.


By his door there was a pitch black figure, almost blending into the dark of the room if there weren’t the constant fireworks still going off from his window, illuminating it. And it had ripped jeans and a yellow sleeveless hoodie that made it stand out more, but that was besides the point.


Derek really didn’t want to do this, because if the pain in his head had ceased, and this thing was in his room, he would inevitably be right. Unfortunately.


“…Hastur?” Derek quietly called out, his voice barely above a whisper, but it was like a gunshot in the silent room.


“You have no right to call me that.” The voice, who Derek unfortunately now knew was Hastur, hissed. 


Derek just stared at them. What was he to do? The all knowing, all powerful god that tried to ruin his and Avery’s fucking life was here, in his room. 


“How..” Derek managed, though it was strained. Very strained. With anger and disbelief.


Hastur stood up, brushing themselves off like this was an average Thursday for them. Which wasn’t exactly wrong. “Yeah, so, to put it simply,” They started, somewhat sheepish, “I haven’t really succeeded, so I didn’t know how it worked. I thought I would possess a vessel, but I just got one of my own.”


Derek’s face turned to the sort of face you would make when you found out someone did something you knew for a fact they would do, or did for the umpteenth time.


Hastur, feeling somewhat abashed, shuffles over the window and leans on the sill,  looking out with a bored expression. How did they even get here? They used to be a god, an all powerful being with all the knowledge in the world, that was worshipped and looked up upon. And now they’re just here. In a house of a college dropout who was forced back into college by his best friend. Fucks sakes, they both were done for.

They started to panic in a sort of way. What if Derek hated them now? What if he made their life a living hell, torturing them and bullying them until they couldn’t take it anymore and.. and.. an d… a nd…. nd..

Before they knew it, they were slumped against the sill of the window, passed out. Guess they were more tired than they initially thought.

 

Derek, who had looked away for just a second, turned back around, only to find the fallen god out cold on his carpeted floor. Fucks sake. 

 

 

 


This guy was lucky he had a guest room.