Archive of Our Own

Inside Reo’s mind was a room wider than the sky and mightier than the mountains.

Within that hideout, portraits of his beloved treasure were happily moored on the white walls, and secret whispers ghosted through the love letters scattered all around.

He frequented it often, picking up those letters and cradling them to his chest so their contents could strum the strings of his heart, hoping to create a melody he could sing out loud, letting each note carry confessions straight from his veins. Yet, whenever he wanted to unfurl his soul’s songs to Nagi, the music sheet was bereft, betraying him.

That was always the case. Whenever he opened his mouth, ready to spill out the declaration of love pumping inside him, fear’s astronomical heft would press against his chest. Every time he attempted to confess, hesitations and qualms of “what ifs” clogged up his bloodstream like sand, and all the perfectly prepared words lodged in his throat, boarding last minute flights back into the room upstairs in his mind where nothing could harm them.

There, he picked up each letter and safely stored it in its guarded container. Safety was good. Nothing ever harmed what was protected and locked up.

But where would love go if it couldn’t transcend from one heart to another, if the door of the room was shut? It simply filled the entire space to the brim until it could not be contained anymore. Unable to find a place outside to venture into, it wandered around Reo’s body, adjusting its form and size to fit every atom, warming the blood and commanding the muscles who moved on instinct to hug, touch, and squish his treasure, Seishiro Nagi, whenever he was near.

Safety was a sanctuary, but Reo Mikage’s world was laced with victory. Giving up was not defined in his dictionary. He never abandoned any task at hand, and that included confessing to his treasure, Seishiro Nagi.

No matter how many failed attempts he had faced so far, and even if those longings flooded his room like broken-winged birds unable to soar outside freely, haunting hope still floated in every corner, seeping into the crevices and taking over the entire space.

It just stubbornly lingered in the air, refusing to leave.

He even had a whole plan to confess this week and let Nagi know how much he loved him and how much his soul was tied to his. He wanted to express how every touch was traced by this longing, wordless echoes traveling from his heart to Nagi’s skin. Everything was set.

Until, on the same day he wanted to confess, Nagi complained about a piercing pain in his jaw. Finding it to be a hassle, he had secretly ignored a small pain in his tooth until it got bigger and bigger, finally exploding into a shooting ache spreading all over the sides of his face any time he moved his mouth.

“What a paiiinn,” he had whined to Reo, meaning it quite literally that time, though.

“And whose fault is that?” Reo shook his head at him, maintaining his strict glare while trying not to melt at the adorable pout facing him, “you should have immediately handled the situation the minute you felt even the smallest ounce of pain.”

“But it’s such a hassle..and no food..” Nagi’s pout deepened, “so annoying..”

“I don’t care.” Reo strictly declared. “I will arrange everything, and you will go to the dentist.”

Immediately after that, Reo scheduled an appointment with the best dentist he knew. When they saw him, the dentist carried out the x-rays and referred Reo to a specialized oral surgeon who could help with the surgery, as Nagi had to have two of his wisdom teeth removed, and it would be a complex procedure as both were impacted.

The plan to confess was then halted as Reo took care of the situation, scheduling Nagi’s surgery and being there for him. He made sure to have everything set: only the best oral surgeon for his treasure, clearing five days of both his and Nagi’s schedule so Nagi could rest at his place with zero responsibilities. He spent nights searching online about all the symptoms, precautions, after-procedure needs, and expectations. He also made sure to write down all the meal preparations for whatever food Nagi could safely eat during the healing period, knowing Nagi would complain. He even scribbled in his notebook, noting down every detail.

I’ll get his favorite games so he’ll be comfortable and distracted the whole time he’s here!

**

On the day before his surgery, Reo had Nagi come over to look after him and make sure he ate enough food and rested. They sat down on the couch together, leaving no room for distance to slither between them.

“Open up,” Reo brought up the fork to Nagi’s mouth, blowing on the steak before feeding it to Nagi, “don’t say it’s a hassle to chew! You’ll miss eating properly for days after your surgery.”

Nagi obeyed, letting Reo feed him the steak and chewing every bite without complaints. “It’s pretty good.”

“Mhm!” Reo puffed, “only the finest for my treasure’s last meal.”

“I’m not dying..” Nagi huffed, “it’ll just be a few days.”

Reo grinned, resisting the urge to squish his cheeks so he wouldn’t hurt him. “Yeah, yeah, now eat. We still have the bowl of udon to finish too.”

After their meal, Nagi scooted closer to Reo so their knees were glued together as he sipped his lemon tea. “Hey…Reo?”

Reo’s arms ached to wrap around Nagi and pull him closer, and he was weak to his pining pleas, succumbing to holding Nagi closer, “yes?”

If Nagi had anything to say, he hid it well and just relaxed against Reo, “It won’t hurt, right?”

Reo smiled, ruffling his hair. “You won’t feel a thing! You’ll be sedated deeply so don’t worry, you won’t even remember the procedure.”

“Hm..but what about the hassle after?” Nagi masked his concern with his usual nonchalance, but Reo could pick up on some worries lacing his tone.

“Well,” Reo’s fingers kneaded through Nagi’s hair, winding a strand around his finger, “it depends, honestly..but don’t worry, I’ll be right here taking care of you and making sure you get all your medication!” His thumb lingered against Nagi’s hair for a second longer, almost as if sealing the promise.

Nagi closed his eyes for a moment, drowsiness dragging him away through the power of a big meal combined with Reo’s soft hand caressing his worries away, “Okay..Reo will take care of me..and feed me.”

Reo chuckled. “Thinking of food already? Your diet on day one will be pudding.”

Nagi huffed. “Can I at least have some lemon tea?”

“Hm,” Reo pondered, “it is best to avoid citrus drinks cause they’ll irritate the gums..better to not do anything that’ll mess with the healing process.”

Nagi sulked, gulping down the rest of his lemon tea to make up for it. “Can I have more now, then?”

Reo smiled, patting his cheek lightly. “Sure! Have as much as ya want.”

Nagi immediately reached for another bottle, coaxing a giggle out of Reo. He leaned back against the couch, watching his treasure guzzle the drink. So cute..

A few hours later, Nagi yawned and inched closer to Reo, a silent request for a piggyback ride to the bed. “Sooo tired.”

“Alright,” Reo straightened up, “let me ask Gran to prepare one of the guest rooms for you. Would you like to pick one?”

“Can I stay with Reo?” Nagi asked, looking straight into Reo’s eyes.

Reo nearly gulped. He quickly poised the Reos inside him, summoning the self-assured ones to extinguish the fires that threatened to spread. “Uh..like in my room?”

Nagi nodded, “I’m very nervous about tomorrow and don’t wanna sleep alone, it’s scary,” he said, clearly exaggerating his worries, not that Reo minded, “can I sleep in your room?”

“Uhh, in my room..” Reo kept it under control, cloaking the nervous, love-coated clouds floating inside him with veils of his usual confidence that somehow always escaped him when Nagi said his Nagi-ful lines without a care, “yeah, sure, I can sleep in the guest room.”

Nagi shook his head, “Reo isn’t used to that..It could mess up your sleep. We can share the bed..That would lessen my worries.”

Well, that certainly fanned the flames, and the fervid fires permeated through every corner of his frame to the depths of his marrow.

Safe.

Sure, safe..as safe as the fumes fogging up my brain right now, blurring everything but the flashing images of us sharing a bed, holding each other close..so close..my arms wrapped around you, your head on my chest while I nuzzle the top of your head.

As safe as letting your scent settle in my lungs, becoming the oxygen I breathe.

But, he knew he had to fend off his urges. It’d be quite selfish to treat him like his boyfriend while he was just vulnerable and worried about his procedure, he thought. But then again, what was the harm in some cuddling? It didn’t have to mean anything..Showering Nagi with affection was a mathematical certainty to him, so why would it make him nervous? Just be yourself, Reo!

“Sure, yeah, we can share a bed.” He colored every word with shades of indifference. Be confident, Reo.

He calmed himself, carrying Nagi on his back while heading to his room. Once there, he set him down. “Alright, uh, let me get you some pajamas.”

Nagi nodded, waiting for Reo by the bed. “Are your pajamas fancy?”

Reo chuckled. “Uh you could say so? They’re silky and comfortable.”

“Hm..sounds like Reo to me.”

He handed Nagi a black silk pajama set, finding it to be the best option for him. “Here ya go.”

“Thanks.” Nagi immediately reached for the hem of his shirt and yanked it upwards. Reo’s eyes darted to the very interesting ceiling almost immediately as Nagi changed.

What’s wrong with you? You’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times!

Once they settled into the bed, that familiar, fierce flame ignited again, sizzling underneath his skin, and its burning sensation meddled with the movement of his hand, stirring it toward Nagi to tug him closer. “Nervous?”

“Hm..” Nagi’s eyes held Reo’s, unvocalized sentiments swirling in the narrow space between them, “I’ll just doze off during the procedure and Reo will take care of me for five days..sounds good to me.”

He was so nervous that he couldn’t sleep alone just a few moments ago. Now it sounds good??

But Reo just snorted, ruffling his hair. “Yeah, yeah, it does sound good to get pampered, huh.”

Nagi hummed, nestling closer without a care for the trail his gestures left behind and its burning effect on Reo. “Five days with Reo all the time..should’ve removed them sooner.”

Reo chuckled. “Then I’ll just have to make sure you don’t ignore issues this long again.”

“Hm..will Reo be with me during the procedure?”

“I’m not really allowed in the operation room,” Reo patted his head, “but I’ll be right there when you wake up.”

Nagi didn’t even try to mask his disappointment, but he was too tired to do anything but nod and mumble a goodnight, closing his eyes. Reo lay still for a moment, his gaze roaming over Nagi’s adorable face, taking in the way sleep softened his features into clouds of cotton, graced by peacefulness and untouched by the worries he had carried with him earlier. His lips were set in the cutest slight pout, tempting Reo to hold him closer, which he did as he drifted off into sleep.

**

Time crept by ever so slowly in the clinic’s waiting room, gliding through blurry intervals that seemed to drone on and on.

Reo tried to relax on the modular sofa, mind glued to Nagi, wondering when the procedure would be over. It wasn’t supposed to take more than an hour, yet in Reo’s world the wait felt endless. Even though he knew Nagi was safe and relaxed, worries still tingled all over him.

Before Nagi went into the procedure, Reo had assured him over and over that everything would be fine, and that he would get lots of ice cream later. He paced outside the operation room, until the nurse urged him to go rest and told him that Nagi had completely dozed off. His treasure didn’t miss any opportunity for a nap after all. Now, there was nothing to do but wait.

Finally, the nurse’s call pulled him from the Nagi haze drenching his brain. He quickly rose to his feet and rushed to see Nagi. When he was let into the room, Nagi was laying comfortably in the white dental bed that was as restful and cushy as a real one. Heck, he wanted to go lay down and join Nagi in his sleep too.

Slowly, Nagi’s eyes fluttered open. Confusion etched onto his face, and his eyelids opened and closed together repeatedly as he took in his surroundings. “Am I…dead?” he mumbled, words muffled by the numbness.

Reo couldn’t help but snort. “No dummy, you’re awake.”

“Noooo,” Nagi whined pitifully, convinced that he had passed onto another realm, “I’m goneee..I’m dead..picked up by the prettiest angel everrr..”

Reo’s eyes darted around the room. The only two people there were the nurse and the oral surgeon, but they were not in Nagi’s view. I’m the angel??

Hope fluttered its wings before reality clipped them again. Don’t fly too close to the sun, Reo.

Reo composed himself, burying down the warmth surging within. “You’re alive, Nagi.”

“Pretty angel..” Nagi hummed sleepily, “but I..have..a wife alreadyyy,” he whined, “loyal to my wife..”

Huh…

Wife???

Reo turned to the nurse, double checking if his ears had somehow plotted to deceive him. “Did he say he has a wife?”

The nurse nodded. “It’s normal for him to be droopy and say some nonsense now, it’ll pass in a while.”

Nonsense, huh..

Does Nagi like someone that he considers to be his wife?

Why did he never mention that to me??

The threads of sadness squeezed Reo’s heart. Those few words..the idea of Nagi liking someone else enough to call her his wife, carried a crushing weight that pricked his insides like a thousand needles, all with one goal: to cause as much pain as possible. But he needed to stay calm and collected. Maybe Nagi was just hallucinating. There’s no way he likes someone, who could it even possibly be? He’s just saying stuff.

But what if he’s not??

Stay cool, Reo..

He sighed, exhaling the sorrow-mixed doubts and inhaling Nagi’s adorableness. “Nagi, it’s me, Reo, you dummy.”

Nagi extended a shaky arm toward Reo, poking his cheek, “Reo..Reo..yeah, you’re Reo.” He hummed droopily, “Reooo..you came for meee, Reo..will save me from them..”

Reo’s prior sadness ebbed away with a ripple of soft laughter. “You’re ridiculous. Who’s them?”

Nagi barely gestured for him to lean closer, shooting a sidelong glance of suspicion at the nurse. “They..” he whispered, “they…I forgottt.”

Reo snorted and ruffled his hair. “Nothing happened, silly, they just removed your wisdom teeth.”

At that, Nagi’s bottom lip jutted out in the saddest pout Reo’s eyes had ever witnessed. His shoulders slumped and his entire face crumpled with the devastation of a child who had his favorite toy snatched away. “Noooo..” He blubbered through the gauze, and whatever he said after that dissolved into a string of incoherent sounds.

Reo leaned closer, steadying his droopy treasure with a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?” he asked gently, keeping his laughter in check.

“They took away my wisdomm,” he whined, completely disoriented, “now I won’t be Reo’s..genius treasure anymoreee..”

At that, Reo couldn’t hold it in anymore and a loud chuckle burst out of him. “Your wisdom teeth, dummy. Your wisdom’s still there..somewhere.” He grinned teasingly.

Seeing Nagi’s bottom lip still trembling with the cutest pout ever swelled Reo’s heart with utmost affection. It became deaf to reason, wanting to squish Nagi and pinch his cheeks. But he was still so numb, confused, and groggy..Reo knew better than to attack him right now, despite the severe cuteness aggression grappling him. “And besides, how cruel do you think I am? I won’t abandon you.” A snort accompanied his next words, “even if they surgically remove your wisdom.”

“Mmm..” Nagi nuzzled into Reo’s hand, “would you still love me even if I had no brain?” The innocent question pierced the depths of Reo’s heart and a rush of redness raced through him at the word ‘love’. “Totally,” he assured him, “they could crack open your skull and take out your brain, and you’ll still be my treasure.” But he knew his words would just go in one ear and fly out of the other.

Nagi pulled away from his hand and burrowed his face into Reo’s shoulder, his haven. “Don’t let them do thaaattt,” he nearly mewled against his shirt. Then, he retreated and dropped down on the bed. “Promise?”

Reo nodded, his smile never leaving his face. “I promise, I’ll always protect you, Nagi.”

“Yayyy,” Nagi muttered, eyes traversing across the room before landing on Reo again. “Promise?” He repeated.

Reo mused, “Yes, yes, Nagi, I promise.”

The nurse approached to talk to Reo, but Nagi spoke up again, “I want taiyakiii..”

“You want taiyaki, huh,” Reo shared a knowing glance with the nurse, “Well, you can’t have that yet.”

“Why notttt,” Nagi huffed, “and why does my face feel so facee?”

“What does that even mean?” Reo shook his head, “you whiny baby..I’ll get you all the taiyaki you want when you’re healed. Quit staring at me like I committed a heartless crime.”

The nurse finally got her chance to talk to Reo, handing him a note with the list of medications Nagi would need along with an extra set of gauze pads. Reo listened to her intently, unfurling a blank sheet in his mind and noting down all the instructions she listed and the necessary steps to take to avoid a dry socket. He let every word settle onto that imaginary page, each dotted with promises to keep his treasure safe.

He texted Ba-ya the list of food and medications that Nagi would need the next few days and went back to his beloved treasure, who was still just as groggy.

“You came back for meee,” Nagi attempted a hug but ended up leaning his entire weight against Reo, “Reo never leaves mee..”

Reo let out a huff, straining to nudge the giant teddy bear upright. “I was literally right in front of you,” he sighed, “alright, the limo should be here shortly.”

“This thing is grosss,” Nagi gagged, absolutely hating the gauze in his mouth, “take it outttt..”

“I can’t take it out,” Reo sighed, “you need to keep it in, you’re bleeding.”

“So meannn..”

“Yeah, yeah.”

**

Reo headed to the limo that was waiting for them outside with Nagi hanging on his back, clinging to him like a sloth to a tree, “Reo’s so niceee..so perfect..so sweet..”

“Yeah, yeah, you said that, ten times already,” Reo chuckled, attempting to hide how much the constant praise was melting his heart into mush.

“So what..it’s the truth. Reo’s an angel,” Nagi continued, relaxing against the nape of his neck, “Reo limo..Reo pillow..”

Reo grinned. “Those titles sure are something, Nagi. Don’t fall asleep, and keep your head up,” he instructed.

Once they arrived, the driver helped Reo set Nagi down inside the limo. Reo climbed in and sat next to him. “Alright, Gran should have everything ready by the time we arrive. You need to eat immediately to take your pain meds before the numbness fully fades.”

Nagi didn’t register a single word Reo said. “You have such pretty eyess, have I ever told youu?” he drawled, repeatedly poking Reo’s cheek.

“You..haven’t,” Reo hoped his cheeks weren’t as red as he felt. He hated how easily Nagi flustered him.

He probably didn’t even mean anything he was saying.

“Like..purple galaxies, purple seas,” Nagi dragged on. “So beautiful..Reo’s so beautiful,” he mumbled muzzily. “Can I jump into your eyes and swim there forever..so..I’m always in their reflection..”

For a moment, Reo’s heart stuttered and his lungs forgot how to breathe. He patted Nagi’s shoulder, clinging onto every word and letting it nourish his garden. Even if it was a space blooming with feigned flowers sustained by rains of uncertainty..let me have this.

Reo watched the landscape from the window as the limo drove, distracting his unstable thoughts with the changing views. But his droopy treasure was now scooting close enough to climb into his lap, head resting against Reo’s shoulder like it belonged there. “They should put your face up in the sky instead of the moon..it lights up the entire universe.”

“You’re being silly,” Reo tried to tilt his head upward, “stop talking for a moment and rest..”

And let my heart rest too.

“You’re so pretty..so kind too..taking care of me,” Nagi continued without listening to Reo, hugging him tightly, “you’re my favorite person..my person..” His muffled words spilled out of him in a daze, but his arms around Reo were snug, tightly wrapped around him as though a hole would open in the seat and suck Reo away if he let go. “Hope Reo takes care of me like this when we are married..”

Huh..

HUHHH???

“We’ll be married someday right?” Nagi kept adding fuel to the rising flames threatening to swallow Reo whole. “I love you..for so long I’ve loved you..”

And that was the final spark that the searing blaze needed to explode. It blasted into bits, pelting down on him, seeping straight into his bones.

Deafening silence settled around them as Nagi finally stopped and settled for clinging to Reo wordlessly. Nothing needed to be said, for Reo’s hammering heart and scorching soul were enough to sizzle through the fabric of quietness, cracking and roaring in his head.

Is he playing with me?? What does he mean by “I’ve loved you for so long”!!

How cruel is it to say it like it’s a game..unaware that it is all I’ve been wanting to hear! How mean to say that after waking up and calling someone your damn wife!

For the rest of the ride home, Reo sat there frozen. A formidable force tied his tongue and conspired with the lodge at the back of his throat to prevent any word from escaping. That’s if his brain still had the ability to weave words together. It struggled to deal with untangling the threads of his emotions, those walloping waves crashing against his shore. Anger married confusion and distress in the worst ceremony ever inside his brain. Jealousy attended as well, uninvited but impossible to ignore, and he abhorred that guest more than any other..But it couldn’t be helped. He hated the idea of Nagi liking someone else.

All of these emotions he avoided swirled and churned, wreaking havoc that he had no time to deal with right now. He softened them up, burying them away to bring forth nothing but his good side for Nagi, who needed him at his best.

His eyes kept flickering toward Nagi, then away, only to fly to him again, like a rebellious bird that couldn’t remain caged. The visceral urge to ask more, to give into it and confess in return, itched underneath his skin, a serpentine sensation refusing to leave, and he hated himself for it.

He felt like the worst person alive for getting upset, and worse for even thinking about indulging Nagi. How stupid..He blamed it on his foolish hopes. It had to be that..Nothing but delusions shaped by his selfish desires. Nagi was clearly delirious, he just had surgery and there he was basking in the light of those words, knowing they only sprouted from the grogginess. He was Nagi’s safe space at the moment, naturally so. He was vulnerable, and it was only going to get worse later.

Don’t be selfish, Reo.

He needs me to take care of him..not take advantage of him..

It didn’t mean anything.

He kept feeding those words into his brain, engraving them onto the walls of his heart: it didn’t mean anything. It didn’t. It was nothing more than an absurd, childish wishful thinking, to crave what was merely uttered in the trance of sedation-spurred grogginess. Besides, Nagi woke up and one of the first things he uttered were about some “wife.” Sadness hovered over Reo again as he remembered that, colliding against his chest and provoking the ache to grow deeper.

It was not the time.

**

When they arrived at his place, he immediately took Nagi to his floor and seated him down on the sofa. Ba-ya was waiting there with the medication and an ice pack “Young master, welcome back. I will go prepare some blended soup so Seishiro can eat and take his medicine.”

Reo nodded. “Thanks, gran.”

“Thanks, gran,” Nagi repeated after him, waving at Ba-ya. Reo chuckled, cupping his chin and gently tilting his face toward him. “Focus here, let’s change your gauze first.”

Nagi opened his mouth, and Reo carefully took out the red-soaked gauze pads. “Alright, let me throw these away and put some new ones.”

As Reo stepped away, Nagi immediately covered his face, acting as if his hands were cloaks of invisibility.

“I can still see you, you know,” Reo huffed as he sat next to him again, “quit being a baby and open up.”

“Nooo,” Nagi whined, “grossss..”

“Come on, Nagi..”

“Hurts,” he puffed up, “kisses will make it better.”

Reo laughed, shaking his head. “That can’t be right..the pain’s not supposed to kick in yet.”

“I am in painn..Don’t laugh at me,” Nagi sulked, the adorable pout finding its way back. Hm..seems like I will have to indulge him..just a little.

Reo leaned closer, kissing his cheek softly and attentively. Nagi softened immediately, sinking into a state of relaxation as though the kiss had worked as a painkiller. Reo’s own heart fluttered, wings flapping against his ribs. The confession from earlier lingered at the back of his mind, stepping closer and closer to the frontlines. Could it be true..could he..

Reo..calm down.

“There we go,” Reo sighed fondly, focusing on the task at hand and not his dream-come-true scenarios that were merely a haze, “now can you open your mouth.”

Nagi shook his head. “..Only if you give me more kisses.”

“You’re impossible.”

After a few more attempts, and soft pecks on his cheek, Nagi finally stopped grumbling and allowed Reo to replace the gauze pads. “Now, was that so hard? Bite down on it.”

Reo patted his head in encouragement, then lifted up the ice pack, hissing softly before placing it on Nagi’s cheek.

“Ahhh,” Nagi’s grouchiness returned, “take it offf…”

Reo rolled his eyes playfully. “You need to keep it on your face, dummy. For thirty minutes..repeatedly.”

“Whyyy?” Nagi pouted like Reo had personally betrayed him.

“For the healing process, silly.”

Nagi pulled away, but before Reo even got the chance to scold him, he held Reo’s hand, bringing it to his cheek. “Better than ice..this will heal my pain..”

Nagi’s cuteness was an arrow, aiming toward his heart and striking with precision. It blew it into smithereens, and the love it carried drizzled all over his insides like spring rain. He could feel those damn rose petals in his gut. He knew better than to cling to false hope and fragile words of love spoken through grogginess, yet it was all he could think about every second since it happened, no matter how much he tried not to.

“You’re adorable,” Reo sighed softly, poking Nagi’s nose, “but you still need ice.”

“Reo’s all I need,” Nagi nuzzled into his hand. The room inside Reo’s mind threatened to burst, and conflicting chaos danced on the podium in the middle of it. Don’t take advantage of him..he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

After a while, Reo helped Nagi remove the gauze and eat the blended tomato soup Ba-ya prepared for him. He made sure to feed him slowly, fully focused on ensuring Nagi’s comfort. “Is it good?”

“Hmmm,” Nagi groaned, “I want to eat properly..”

“Once you heal, I’ll take you to dinner at the finest restaurant.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

After Nagi finally ate, Reo helped him take his medicine. He cradled the side of his face and lifted the cup of water to his lips. “Can you drink?”

Nagi frowned at the cup. “My mouth doesn’t wanna,” he fretted, “it doesn’t seem to know where the cup isss..”

“Here,” Reo adjusted the cup’s angle and guided him patiently. As Nagi swallowed the pain killers with slow, careful sips, a stream of water escaped and trickled down his chin.

“Aw,” Reo smiled softly, dabbing it away with a napkin and giving his cheek an extremely gentle pat, “there we go. Hopefully the pain won’t be too much later..”

Nagi turned his head toward Reo. “Have I been a good boy today?”

Reo let out a quiet chuckle and poked his nose. “Yes, you have. So brave too.”

“Then..” Nagi hummed after a thoughtful pause, “will Reo get me some ice cream?”

“Sure thing,” Reo smiled.

He made sure his treasure got whatever he asked for, feeding him vanilla ice cream and taking care of him for the rest of the night. No matter what he did or what they talked about, “We’ll be married someday, right?” and “I love you” played on a loop like an endless broken record behind every little detail of the day.

When it was time for bed, Nagi was still somewhat out of it, but more stable than before. Still, he didn’t act like he was aware of anything said earlier..It wasn’t like he had thrown the “I love you” bomb at Reo earlier that day. Nope, not at all. And now, Reo had to share the bed with him again.

“Mmm, Reo’s the best,” Nagi mumbled softly as Reo settled down next to him on the mattress, fluffing Nagi’s pillow. He was still drowsy and needy, just no longer disoriented.

“Yeah, yeah,” Reo offered him an amused smile, lying down by his side.

Nagi immediately scooted closer, and without sparing a thought, he slipped an arm around Reo’s waist and rested his head on his chest.

Everything else dwindled into vacuity as the room was swallowed up by the warm red that had taken over him. Nothing remained there but himself and his treasure using him as a pillow. It was just them in a sweet, serene picture that he wished he could freeze forever and hang in that room in his brain, which definitely needed some renovations now. It was filled to the brim with a myriad of photos that hung there with or without his permission, and the whole room needed an expansion.

Reo willed his heart to be still. The rhythm of its beats was too close to Nagi. But it was a thundering orchestra refusing to be silenced.

He had spent many nights in this very bed summoning Nagi’s presence in his head, holding his phantom treasure close through the plushie Nagi once gave him.

Now, just like yesterday, Nagi was really here. He breathed softly against Reo’s shirt, each warm exhalation lingering on its fabric. He rested soundly on Reo’s chest like it was the safest home. All Reo could do was hope his heartbeats would hum their way to Nagi’s own heart, carrying with them the music of his longing, all the unsaid love confessions that slept within it.

Parallel lines refused to meet, the urge to give into his impulses and the rationality of leaving Nagi be. They swirled around until they reached the finish line in a blend of need. Let me have this..

He hesitantly wrapped an arm around Nagi and planted a kiss on the top of his head, burying his face into that fluffy mop of white and breathing him in. A faint scent of citrus shampoo lingered there, along with something he couldn’t quite put a finger on, something special, very Nagi. He wanted to drown in it. How could loving someone so precious be fatal? His treasure was a lifejacket, a submarine taking him to wondrous depths and showing him breathtaking views beneath the surface he had never ventured to before meeting him.

He didn’t mind flooding his lungs with Nagi.

“You’re warm,” he murmured, drawing Nagi impossibly close. Their limbs tangled up together reflexively, finding each other as a sunflower finds the sun. Reo kept pressing delicate kisses to the crown of his head while absentmindedly tracing circles along his arm. Each gesture was a quiet secret, whispering about his love to the darkness.

Then, he rested his chin lightly against Nagi’s hair, one arm wrapped securely around him while he combed through his hair with his other hand, stepping into the river of peace and warmth. There, he floated, carried away from sadness and doubts..for a moment before they rippled right back..Nagi’s words..Nagi liking someone else..

Did he mean it? Am I just the safe, comfortable person he saw after his surgery and blabbered things to because I simply was there?

Why couldn’t you ever say that to me from the heart that I wish to call mine?

Ahh..Nagi’s right..what a pain indeed.

He closed his eyes to let sleep take him away, silently lamenting the real confession he had dreamed of hearing..Perhaps in dreams, he would.

–

Ahh..what a pain..

Death itself was pounding at Nagi’s head with its cold fingers, hosting a party and letting all the attendees roam around, cracking his skull with their hefty steps.

A loud groan escaped him as he fussed and buried his face into his pillow, refusing to face the day yet. But the pain pounded harder, seemingly on purpose now. Ugh.

“Good morning, my treasure,” a voice as sweet as a robin’s called out to him, pulling him upwards. Just like that, the sun unveiled its splendor, and it was not the one hiding behind the curtains.

“Reooo,” he grumbled, “I’m gonna dieeee..”

“You’re not dying,” Reo laughed, leaning closer with a wide grin painted on his face, “oh my..”

“What?” Nagi pouted.

“You’re like the cutest pufferfish!” Reo nearly squealed, instinctively reaching forward before pulling away.

Nagi’s pout intensified. He was already deprived of eating actual food for like a week, his cheeks swelled like a chipmunk, the pain pounded against his skull with a hammer relentlessly, and on top of that, he was going to be robbed of Reo fawning over him and squishing his cheeks? Not on his watch. He tried to tempt Reo by puffing his cheeks out even further, but Reo just giggled, hands protectively placed on the bedsheets.

What a pain..biggest pain of all. Hmph.

“Dyingg..” he whined again, flopping face-first into his pillow. The second he hit the fabric, regret settled in, its sharp sting seeping into every nerve. “Owww,” he made a louder fuss, a wounded bird performing at the misery exhibition prepared for Reo’s eyes only.

Reo leaned forward. “Are you okay?”

“Nooo..” Nagi’s grand performance held some truth to it. The pain was clawing at him, pulling him away back toward sleep again, “cells dying..body collapsing..can’t..breathe..”

“Oh come on,” Reo cackled, “you’re not gonna die from a headache and some swelling.”

“Dying,” Nagi repeated, “I can see the purple light..”

Reo snorted. “You mean the white light?”

“Purple light..my paradise..is lit up by Reos..”

Reo’s soft laughter was enough to soften his headache. His eyelids drooped, giving in to the drowsiness. When he woke up the second time, the soft fingers threading through his hair drained out the throbbing that had been pounding through his head almost completely. Reo was the balm to his ache, the remedy of the senses and the soul.

“Reo,” he hummed softly. His on-the-deathbed whiny words from earlier floated away because nothing was livelier than speaking Reo’s name. “I’m hungry..”

“Alright,” Reo wrapped a steady arm around him and helped him up, “let’s wash your face and brush your teeth first. Remember, no spitting.”

“Can Reo help me..?”

“Of course, what else am I here for?”

Later that morning, Reo joined Nagi on the couch, holding a bowl of applesauce. “Alright, here’s your breakfast.”

Nagi frowned. “But I’m like, actually hungry..”

Reo grinned. “Chewing is no longer a hassle, huh?” he brought up a spoonful and teased, “Say ahh.”

“I’m not a baby,” Nagi grumbled, opening his mouth and letting Reo feed him carefully.

As he fed him his breakfast, Reo’s hand stilled for a moment.

“Hey, Nagi..” He eyed him with a hint of curiosity. “Uh..how much do you remember from yesterday?”

“Uh..” Nagi ran around his brain searching for scraps of clues, but it was like a page had been halfway ripped and torn, eliminating most of the details. A faint sense of dread filled him up. Could he have said something incredibly stupid? Could he have hurt Reo without meaning to? “Did I say something dumb?”

“Hm,” Reo fidgeted with the spoon, mixing the puree around mindlessly, “so you don’t remember the stuff you said?”

The dread advanced to a whole new level now..what could he have possibly said to make Reo look at him with that expression on his face? The one that could never fully mask away the subtle sadness hovering across it.

“Did I say anything that upset Reo?” Nagi asked, silently hoping that wasn’t the case, “I was completely out of it after the sedation..so if I said anything that upset you, please know I didn’t mean it..”

At that, Reo’s bottom lip trembled slightly, almost giving in to a pout that was fighting its way there. Nagi’s chest tightened at the sight, and he fought the urge to pat and comfort Reo, but Reo quickly composed himself, gripping the spoon tighter and mixing the puree around. “Alright, no worries.”

“Reo..?” Nagi watched him closely, the faint furrow of his brows, the slight sadness shimmering in his eyes, the way his bottom lip refused to pout but clearly struggled. How did I make it worse? What happened?

“Well then,” Reo went back to feeding him, “open up.”

“What’s wrong?” Nagi tried to ask.

“It doesn’t concern you,” Reo said with a tinge of anger before quickly suppressing it. “Sorry, I just mean..don’t worry about it. Now open up.”

Nagi obliged, eating from his hand. He didn’t want to push Reo further, but the idea of hurting Reo after promising himself he would never do that again pressed on his heart, giving it a painful squeeze.

**

After that morning, Reo didn’t show much sadness around Nagi, but Nagi could tell something was off, even if the sadness flickered across Reo’s face quickly, almost imperceptibly. He wasn’t fluent in Reo’s silence, but he was doing his best to learn its language. The one language he had mastered most articulately was that of longing for Reo. But he wasn’t the best teacher when it came to offering those lessons in a clear way. Whenever he tried to discuss the situation with him, Reo put a lid on the topic and shoved it away, distracting Nagi with ice cream and video games. Nagi didn’t know how to cross that barricade.

Aside from the post-wisdom teeth operation care, they spent the next four days at Reo’s place playing Nagi’s favorite video games together, trying some board games, and watching random shows, which always ended up with Nagi falling asleep on Reo’s shoulder. They did anything but have a conversation.

Now, Nagi was back at his own place, and the room felt smaller than ever. The walls were closing in. The silence filled the room like smoke that choked him up. He hated not sharing his bed with Reo, not waking up to his smiling face and melting underneath the rays of sunlight pouring from his fingers into his hair.

As the days went by and normalcy settled in again, Reo still visited him and ensured he was eating well enough and doing all the necessary things he needed to do during the second week to fully heal. Nagi didn’t care about all that. There was something much more sensitive than the extraction sites, something he needed to protect. But whenever he tried to talk to Reo, Reo would dismiss it with, “Focus on healing,” even though he felt pretty healed already.

When the two weeks were finally over, Reo took him out on a dinner date like he promised. Well, at least Nagi could appease the wishes of his heart and pretend it was a date. Dating Reo..moving in with Reo so their lives would merge and blend together, what’s mine is yours, and till death do us part, intertwined souls. Lukewarm water could never quench his thirst. He wanted it all, even the flames.

Once dinner was over, Reo walked him back to his place. He lingered by the door, not quite ready to leave yet. “Uh..so, congrats on finally being cleared to eat again.”

“Mhm,” Nagi hummed as he opened the door, “does Reo..wanna hang out?”

“Uh..yeah sure.”

Nagi stepped aside, letting Reo walk in before following right behind him, closing the door. “Reo..”

Reo flopped onto the couch, eyes shooting up to glance at Nagi, “Yeah?”

“What did I say on my surgery day that bothered you so much?”

Reo’s expression hardened. “Nothing important.”

“But it’s clearly bothering Reo..” Nagi insisted. They had shoved many things under the rug in the past..He was still hiding away his feelings like a peeking moon shying away from the sky. He didn’t want to keep everything hushed and tucked away forever. He wanted to speak, he wanted to know.

“Bothering me,” Reo repeated with a huff, a tinge of anger coating his words, “I’m totally unbothered.”

“That’s what people say when they are bothered, though..” Nagi rubbed the back of his neck, gaze dropping to the floor to avoid Reo’s glare. Man..did I make it worse?

“Well, I’m bothered then!” Reo blurted out, crossing his arms and turning away from him.

“Why..?” Nagi’s eyes settled on Reo, tilting his head to study his expression, but Reo kept hiding away. “Reo..why won’t you tell me?” He couldn’t help the sullen sensation taking control over his voice and features.

Reo finally looked at him as he pulled himself up. “You were mean.”

“Mean?” Nagi asked, masking his horrified thoughts. Mean to Reo? He could never be mean to Reo after realizing how much he hurt him before.. Even if he was sleepwalking and unaware, even at his most delirious state, his soul would rise to leave his body and slap it before being mean to him. “How was I..mean?”

“You weren’t..mean exactly. You just played with my feelings.” Reo sighed. “Unintentionally, but..it hurt nonetheless because, to me, it's..all I’ve been wanting to hear.”

“I don’t get it..” Nagi stared at Reo, attempting to decipher what was going on, but he blanked.

“You..” Reo clenched his fists, glaring at Nagi with the cutest scrunched eyebrows and pout, “you..you woke up and spoke of some wife, of liking someone else, then confessed you love me and talked about marriage!”

Oh.

I..said that out loud, huh...I-

Wait..liking someone else? In what world?

A panicked cacophony rattled inside his head, and for a moment, his heart gripped his ribs, threatening to lurch out. Then, that unhesitating spirit floated within, whispering calming words all around. Why was he nervous in the first place? Loving Reo wasn’t scary..it was as easy and natural as breathing, a fact of life like the changing seasons, and he wanted Reo to be the eternal season. The only frightening thought lurking inside was the possibility that Reo had misunderstood his heart.

“Reo,” he said calmly, “I don’t like anyone-”

“I understand you weren’t aware of anything..I get it. You were all groggy and disoriented, saying whatever..but..you talked to me like I was the love of your life.”

Because you are…Reo, let me speak.

“And it really sucked because I’ve longed to hear that!” Reo rambled on without any filter, “I’ve talked to my mirror to come up with the perfect way to confess my feelings to you. I spent so long building it up inside my head only for you to tell me that when you weren’t even aware of it..” His sulked, but then he straightened up immediately, “and the next day you didn’t remember it and basically said you didn’t mean anything you said..It felt like a cruel joke..because I love you, Nagi. I love you so much that it overspills out of my heart..But you..you just..”

His voice faded away as an unfamiliar silence descended over the room, wrapping them in a blossoming haze of deeply rooted emotions, feelings, and confessions left unspoken that were long overdue to be spoken aloud.

Something warm stirred in Nagi’s heart..A star, long sought after, shimmering just beyond his reach. It was plummeting into his soul. One sole star in his sky was enough to light up the world..and he didn’t have to wish upon it anymore. The star darted right next to him, trailing its golden light that he gladly followed.

“Reo..” He tried to speak, but his ears burned. He hoped they didn’t appear as red as they felt, but the concerned look Reo gave him said otherwise.

“Nagi?” Reo asked, taking a few close steps closer to him. “You alright?”

“I’m..” Nagi attempted to speak again. What was he getting all flustered for? There was nothing to hide. Loving Reo was an absolute truth..the only truth he had ever known. Love had slept within him, dormant and unaware of its own existence, until Reo opened the door and approached it, springing it to life. He knew this for a long time now, and it was time Reo knew it too.

“It wasn’t empty words,” Nagi said, nearly covering his face with his hand, “yeah, I was droopy..but sedation isn’t a loopy spell that makes you say random things..it’s not a truth serum, either..” He lowered his eyes, struggling to word his feelings correctly. In his inner world, he was a poet with Reo as his one muse. But now, words were failing him. “It just lowers inhibitions and makes one say things that..I don’t know how to explain it..things that were always already there?”

“Nagi,” Reo gently held his hand, prying it away from his face. He kept hold of it, looking into Nagi’s eyes. Nagi met his gaze, determination kicking in now.

“Reo..what I’m trying to say is, they were just the words at the tip of my tongue, sprouting from my heart with genuine feelings. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

Reo stared at him, confusion evident on his face.

Did he not believe me..?

“I don’t get it..” Reo kept staring, trying to make sense of Nagi’s words, “but you..like someone else?”

“What?” Nagi almost scoffed in offense, but he remained calm, “I don’t like someone else.”

“Who’s your ‘wife’ then?” Reo asked. “When you woke up from the operation, you compared me to a pretty angel, but then you said you’re loyal to your wife..”

“Oh, I meant Reo.” Nagi explained matter-of-factly.

“Huh?” Reo’s eyes widened. “What do you mean, me?”

“I was talking about you..” Nagi explained, “in my distorted view and groggy state, I guess it took me some time to realize I was talking to you at first..So, I must have said that..Even when delirious, my heart knew it was only loyal to you..Reo. There’s no one else..There never has been. It’s always just you.”

Reo stared at him for a moment. Then, his eyes welled up with tears. Nagi immediately surged forward as Reo continued to speak softly, “Nagi..you’re not messing with me, are you?”

“Reo..” He gently cupped his cheek and wiped away the stray tear that ran down his face, “you’re..the only one for me forever. I look at you and I see the universe. There’s nothing else that matters beyond you.” His thumb lingered on Reo’s cheekbone as he continued, “I love you. I love your smile and your pretty eyes..I love it when you roughhouse with me as much as when you’re soft. I love it when you’re selfish and when you’re kind.” His voice softened even further, tracing circles on Reo’s cheek, “I love every puzzle piece, every strength and every flaw..every little contradiction and all the confidence that makes Reo, Reo.”

Reo stilled for a moment, taking a deep breath as though he were letting Nagi’s words settle in his lungs. He wiped his eyes, then looked at Nagi and smiled, a smile that enveloped Nagi with the warmth of the sun. It complemented the light in Reo’s eyes, as it wasn’t just his lips that were smiling, but his very soul.

“I love you so much, treasure,” Reo giggled happily, “you’re the best thing to ever happen to me..” He said, pulling him into a tight embrace. Nagi easily melted into it, finding home in Reo’s shoulder..wishing somehow they’d fuse together, or that a glitch in the simulation would make this warmth linger longer, preferably forever..But both wishes were not possible, so he just clung to him for now.

“Reo’s the best thing to happen to me too..” He sighed, “before you..the world was colorless and dull. With you..everything shines in the brightest colors..”

Reo kept one hand on Nagi’s back while the other slipped into his hair, stroking it softly, “and there won’t be an after me. I’m with you forever, treasure.”

Nagi pulled back slightly, leaning closer until his nose brushed against Reo’s. Their breaths mingled in the small space between them as his longing gaze dropped to Reo’s lips. Gently, he kissed his cheek, then pressed a softer kiss to the corner of his mouth, lingering there for a moment before finally closing the distance between them. Their lips met in a sweet, soft kiss. It was tentative at first, an attempt to test the waters and silently see what was okay. The hesitation barely lasted a few seconds before their long hidden longing finally surged to the surface, blossoming ardently.

It was his first kiss, but everything came naturally to him when it came to Reo. He wanted to be the best for Reo, always.

Reo wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer and closer, like he wanted to disappear inside his chest. Nagi inclined his head, deepening the kiss and lifting his hand to cradle the back of Reo’s head, fingers threading through his pretty purple strands. The strands were as soft as silk against his fingers. He needed to do this more often, like Reo always does.

The world around Nagi melted away. He was lost in a beautiful, heavenly cloud. Euphoria and serenity bloomed through his chest. It felt like wandering through an endless garden of roses that thrived under Reo’s sun.

A craving for more kisses coursed under his skin as pure passion took control. He held Reo close, kissing him while forgetting the need for oxygen. Reo was enough to keep him alive. The sole purpose of life and its beauty resided in the curve of his smiling lips. He continued to communicate all the feelings he kept hidden inside him, only pulling back when both definitely needed to breathe. He rested his forehead against Reo’s, unwilling to fully part from him yet.

“Wow,” Reo grinned, “how did you learn that?”

“Hm?” Nagi kept caressing Reo’s hair, “I didn’t learn…I just..love Reo a lot.”

Reo chuckled, “I love you a lot, too.”

“Hm,” Nagi hummed softly, “should have removed my wisdom teeth immediately back then if I had known it’d lead to this.”

Reo let out an adorable laugh, playfully smacking his arm. “Don’t ignore your pain next time.”

“There’s still the other two left,” Nagi plotted, “maybe then I will propose.”

A red hue spilled over Reo’s cheeks at an alarming rate. “Don’t..joke about that!”

“Joke?” Nagi tilted his head in confusion, “Hm..well..I suppose I wanna be fully aware of it.”

“Talking about marriage already?” Reo almost spluttered. “You’re very forward..”

“Okay..won’t talk.” He zipped his mouth shut with his finger. Reo smirked, and Nagi didn’t have a second to prepare before Reo tackled him. They tumbled onto the couch with a thud.

“Oof,” Nagi huffed, looking up at the beautiful smile illuminating Reo’s face. He didn’t have to talk, but he would start planning. What was there to think about? Reo was his one and only partner forever.

And one day, every wish would come true.