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Shane's phone rings while he's trying to push another plastic box into the eternal Tetris game that is the trunk of his car. He has it down to a science at this point, stacking it all so it'll fit impossible numbers of suitcases and boxes and bags. The phone is a problem, though. He keeps one hand underneath the box and digs into the pocket of his jeans with the other, accepting the call without looking.
"Hi," he says, trapping the phone between his jaw and his shoulder as he attempts to jiggle the box into place.
"We're about 5 minutes out," his mom says. "Make sure Daniel has his stuff packed and ready."
"I think—"
"Dad, where's my laptop?"
Shane finally finagles the box into place, grabs the phone and looks up at Katya where she leans out of the front door, her long brown hair falling over her shoulder.
"Uh, definitely in here somewhere." He gestures at the trunk that is now filled to the brim. "If you tell me to find it I might have a slight breakdown, though. Just a very small one."
She eyes the trunk and gives him another look before pulling into a sheepish smile. "Right, maybe I'll wait?"
"I think that'd be best."
"Katya, are you not bringing Captain Beaks and Mr. Bunnyface with you?" Ilya appears behind her in the doorway holding out a stuffed parrot and the ratty looking bunny Katya got when she was 8.
"She can't keep every stuffed animal she owns, Ilya, she's already brought a few. The dorm is tiny."
"You know what, we'll just be there," his mom says suddenly from the phone he's lowered from his ear.
"Shit, sorry," Shane says. "We'll have him ready."
"I think maybe they can stay and watch over my room, you know," Katya says, taking the stuffed animals out of Ilya's hands. "Like little guardians."
"I know they're not alive, Katyusha, I'm an adult man."
"Okay, Papa, yes, you're very old. Ancient. When you met dad you were communicating through paper cups on a string."
"Bold of you to assume we were communicating," Shane says before Ilya has the time to reply and Katya snorts in surprise, her hand covering her mouth.
"Shane!" Ilya says, scandalized. "Don't tell our child this, we're setting a bad example."
"Mom and dad's here in, oh fu—oh no, probably in a second. Can you get Daniel and check that he has all his stuff?"
"Danya!" Ilya disappears inside, but they can still hear him yelling in Russian.
"He's in his room sulking." Katya dips inside to grab a small backpack.
"Please tell me there's nothing more. I'll have to buy a new car."
"Relax, it's just this one. And Nina."
"Oh, she has a bag too," Shane runs a hand through his hair and looks at the trunk in dispair. "She'll have to keep it on her lap."
His parents' black BMW pulls up into their driveway and Shane lets out a small sigh of relief. They're so close to pulling this off and getting on the road, maybe even without having to call his doctor to go on blood pressure medication. It's a close call, though. He walks up to meet his parents as they jump out of the car.
"Ilya's inside getting Daniel ready, so I think he's good to go. Unless everything is a mess, in which case, he's not."
His mom waves a hand dismissively. "We're not in a rush, really. No time sensitive plans. We just thought we'd take him shopping for some new shoes."
"Thank god, I didn't think it was possible to grow out of shoes that fast."
"You were the exact same," David says. "Cycled through three sizes in a year once, I swear."
"Do his skates still fit?" Yuna asks.
"I don't know actually, maybe ask him while you're shopping for shoes and we'll get him new ones." Shane peers up at the windows above looking for signs of life. "Look, he's in kind of a mood. I'm sorry about that, it's not you guys."
"We've met a teenager before." His dad grins. "We get it."
"Oh, so you're saying I was a nightmare."
"Every teenager is some version of a nightmare at some point."
Daniel appears on the front stairs, a backpack slung haphazardly over one shoulder. He has a baseball cap pulled low on his head, his face set in a blank expression. Behind him, Ilya carries the bag with his hockey gear.
"Hey there, kiddo," David says.
"Hey, Grandad." Daniel smiles just a little and Shane takes that as a win. "Hi, Grandma."
Shane is about to kiss the top of his head, but catches himself in time. Daniel is 13 and everything is embarrassing, most of all him and Ilya. And right now, he's extremely unhappy because they wouldn't let him stay home alone when he announced he didn't want to go with them. If Shane hadn't had two teenagers in the house already, he'd be offended. Instead, he settles for ruffling Daniel's hair and letting the glare he gets in return roll off his back.
"We'll see you in a couple of days, okay? Love you."
Daniel mutters something in return that turns into a yelp when Ilya hugs him from behind, trapping his arms. Shane bites down on his lips to stop himself from laughing.
"How will we survive without you?" Ilya says dramatically.
"Papa, stop, oh my god." Daniel wriggles out of his hold.
Ilya just grins, clapping him once on the shoulder. "Katya, come say goodbye!"
Katya comes hurrying down the front steps and pulls Daniel into a hug that he actually returns awkwardly.
"Bye, Danny, I'll text you pictures of the room and stuff!"
"Bye, Kat."
Shane has wondered if part of the reason Daniel doesn't want to go with them to move Katya into her dorm at McGill is that he doesn't want to face that she's leaving. The look on his face proves Shane right.
While Katya hugs her grandparents goodbye, Shane makes sure Daniel gets all his stuff with him into the car.
"Call if you need anything, yes?" Ilya says as Daniel slips into the backseat.
"Or text whenever you want," Shane adds.
"Okay," Daniel says and his face softens a little as he looks up at them.
Shane watches them drive off and turns to Ilya. "Where on earth is Nina?"
"Ninochka!" Ilya yells as he jumps up the steps. The sound of him yelling in Russian disappears down the hallway.
10 minutes later they're somehow on the road, their SUV packed to the brim with all the stuff they're bringing to McGill. The drive is less than 2 hours from Ottawa to the campus Katya will be living at, so it doesn't really matter that both Ilya and Nina have their own bags across their laps.
"You know," Shane says. "The first time I told your Papa about McGill he said—"
"What the fuck is McGill?" Katya and Nina recite in unison and Shane snaps his mouth shut.
Ilya laughs, head thrown back against the headrest.
"There's no way I've told you about that already," Shane says, frowning.
"Only like 10 times," Nina says, staring down at her phone.
Placing a hand on his knee, Ilya gives him a fond smile.
"It's okay, моя любовьmy love. At least you're still beautiful."
"Ew," Nina says, but through the rear view mirror Shane sees Katya smile to herself as she looks out the window.
The drive passes with Katya and Nina chatting over Nina's phone in the back, their heads close together. Shane tries not to listen too hard and the conversation about whatever's been happening in Nina's friend group washes over him like static. It all reminds him of countless drives with his kids in the backseat. Drives to the cottage, driving to school in the morning, taking them to hockey practice and dance rehearsal and friends' houses. And it's not like it's all over or anything, but it's definitely changing. He's never been particularly good with change, so it's difficult, but he doesn't want to make Katya feel bad when it's such an important moment.
It's almost 3 PM when they pull up to the dorms at the Macdonald campus and Ilya takes Katya to information to get her signed in for the keys while Shane finds a parking space. He pulls open the trunk and then knocks on the window of the backseat until Nina opens the door wide.
"Nina, put your phone away. We're gonna need everyone to help carry all this."
She sits sideways in the seat, her legs crossed in front of her on the ground. "What, two retired hockey players can't carry it?"
"You want Papa to get a bad back again? You know he'll make you do that magic dance massage thing."
She moans and pushes the phone into her jeans pocket, coming up to grab the smallest box from the top of the pile.
"Impressive," Shane says dryly.
"I'm 16, there are child labor laws in Canada."
"Oh, we're not paying you for this, don't worry."
He catches a crooked smile on her face and grins at her, rubbing a hand over her back. Just then, Katya comes bounding back, waving her keycard, and they all grab something on their way up to her dorm.
"Ah, you are going to prison," Ilya says as the door swings open. "I always knew they would get you. It's probably the time you tried to scam our neighbours with very overpriced lemonade and brownies."
Katya rolls her eyes at him as she pushes inside. It's a single dorm, so there's a bed on one side of the narrow room and a desk on the other. At the wall opposite the door there's a large window with a nice view to a lawn outside.
"Not everyone can get a million dollar hockey contract at 18," she says, setting the plastic box she's carrying on the desk.
"We should have bought her an apartment," Ilya says, turning to Shane.
"The website said they encourage people to live on campus for at least their first year. It's easier to make friends!"
"Her apartment could be party pad."
"Papa, I wanna live with other people. It's more fun this way."
"Okay," he relents and his expression softens into a smile. "Of course. There are probably many fun people on your floor, yes?"
"Well, I hope—"
"See, here's one," Ilya says and leans out the door as someone walks past. "Hello!"
"Oh my god," Katya says and looks at Shane in despair. He just shrugs at her, desperately hiding a grin.
"Uh, hi," says the guy Ilya has stopped outside the room. "Oh, fuck, you're Ilya Rozanov!"
It has been a while since they retired, but Ilya is on his 5th year coaching for Ottawa, so they're very much back in the spotlight.
"Ah, yes, you caught me." Ilya claps him on the shoulder. "Here's my daughter Katya, she's moving in!"
"Hi, I'm Devon." He holds out a hand and she takes it, her expression pulling into a bright smile. "I live two doors down from here with my roommate. Welcome to the floor!"
"Thank you! Oh man, are you new too? I don't know where anything is yet."
"I'm a first year, yeah, but I moved in yesterday. I can show you later? You look kinda busy."
She laughs, looking around at the dorm room where the four of them are pressed in taking up the whole space. "Yeah, I guess I am. I'll hit you up later?"
"See you!" Devon turns and makes some awkward bowing gesture at Ilya. "Goodbye, sir. And oh, uh, Mr. Hollander."
"Nice guy!" Ilya says, looking pleased.
Shane places his hand on the small of Ilya's back, leaning into him. It never ceases to make him eternally grateful that his husband is so good at breaking the ice. Casually, Ilya drops a kiss to his hair and turns in the doorway.
"Okay, gang, follow me!"
They spend the next two hours at IKEA picking up bits and bobs for Katya's room, fielding some of Ilya's wilder suggestions like a strange ghost lamp and a giant plant.
"What about this?" Ilya says when they're looking at bedding and holds up one with cartoon lions on it.
"Oh, uh, no, I don't think so," Katya says.
"But you love animals!" Ilya argues.
She does. Ever since they brought her to the zoo for the first time, Katya has been obsessed. Even before then, really. Always squealing at birds taking flight, always observing every animal with large, fascinated eyes. Her room used to be full on Giraffe-themed for a couple of years, and then it was whales for a bit after that. It's one of those things that she has always shared with Ilya, and it led her to want to study biodiversity and conservation in the first place.
"Yeah, but I think that's for like 8 year olds."
Ilya looks like it physically pains him to be reminded that she's no longer 8 years old and puts it back carefully, leaving Katya and Nina to look through the shelves. Quietly, Shane slips his hand into Ilya's and squeezes. Their eyes meet for a brief moment and Shane smiles, trying to let Ilya know they're in this together.
Later, Ilya's smile returns when he holds out two succulents and Katya coos over them and puts them into her cart.
They make it back to the dorm packing even more stuff into it. Katya and Nina start decorating while Ilya puts together some standing shelves for additional storage and Shane tries to tidy things out of the way as they go along. He gets distracted watching Ilya assemble the shelves, though. His arms flex and the muscles in his back shift as he works, his face set in consentration. He's not as lean as he used to be when he was still playing, and Shane, unsurprisingly, loves it. Rose always teasingly calls it a dadbod. Shane calls it hot as fuck. He loves how he feels a bit softer, how looks even bigger now. He loves when—
"Hey!" Shane tries to wriggle out of Nina's grip where she's clapped her hands over his eyes.
"Stop staring at Papa," she complains.
"I've been staring at your Papa since way before you were born."
She steps away with a frown and Shane looks over at Ilya to find his raised eyebrows. Ilya should probably be commended for not letting out the suggestive comment surely trapped on the tip of his tongue. Something about how he definitely wasn't just staring, and that'd be entirely true, but… not the time
"I swear, my friends' parents are not like this," Nina says as she puts the few books Katya brought with her onto the shelves above the desk.
"What, in love?" Ilya asks.
"Shameless," Nina shoots back.
"I am sorry to all your friends." Ilya leans back to grab the last of the screws for the shelves. "I hope maybe we have taught you to be shamelessly in love, even when people don't want you to be. Maybe especially then."
Shane catches Nina share a smile with Katya and finds he has to look away for a bit, moving his attention to whatever needs organizing.
After making solid progress, they all grab dinner at a restaurant nearby before Nina and Katya head back to the dorm. Nina is staying over even though Katya only has the one bed, and Shane figures that's the best solution. He knows he and Ilya aren't the only ones struggling with the idea of Katya leaving. When the girls head back, Shane and Ilya drive over to the hotel they're staying at for the night. They could've gone to the Pikes' in Montreal, but when Shane booked the hotel he had a feeling Ilya would not be in the mood to deal with Hayden. Maybe not in the mood to be with anyone but Shane.
In the shower, Shane tries not to let his thoughts wander. Worries have been lurking at the back of his mind, but he's been pushing them down relentlessly. Now that he has a quiet moment, they sneak through. The dorm seems safe enough since the Macdonald campus is more remote than the ones in downtown Montreal, but he vows to look up safety measures. And Katya's never been a big drinker, but Shane knows what people do at university and he briefly wonders how he's ever going to be able to sleep over the weekends again. He sighs and drops his head against the shower wall.
When he comes back out, towel tied around his waist, Ilya is sitting on the edge of the bed looking down at his phone. His face is twisted into something that makes Shane's heart squeeze. Shane puts on a pair of boxers and sits down next to him, rubbing a hand over Ilya's back, letting the silence stretch.
"She was so little," Ilya says and Shane looks down at the picture Ilya has pulled up on his phone.
In it, Katya is maybe 3 and napping with Shane on the couch, her small body draped across his chest. He smiles down at it, bringing his hand up to run his hair through the curls at the nape of Ilya's neck.
Shane nods. "The smallest anyone has ever been, maybe."
"I think so."
Ilya's hand comes up to rub over his heart, his jaw ticking.
"Come to bed with me, baby," Shane says and cups Ilya's cheek.
They curl up under the covers, and Shane tucks Ilya against his chest, wraps an arm securely around his stomach and places a soft kiss behind his ear. Ilya feels, for a moment, impossibly small in his arms.
"Someone should have told me this when we decided to have kids," Ilya says, voice heavy. "That they will leave and it feels like someone is throwing your heart into the ground. And then drives over it. Then backs up and drives over it again."
"Would you have changed your mind then?" Shane asks with no accusation, only curiosity.
"No," Ilya says, sounding mildly horrified. "No, of course not."
"Maybe it's—" Shane stops, swallowing heavily against a lump in his throat. "Remember how we always talked about how crazy it is to see that little baby grow into a little person. When they suddenly have likes and dislikes and little quirks."
Ilya hums.
"This is that too, right?" Shane's voice is quiet and he rubs circles over Ilya's soft stomach. "Like, our daughter is making whole choices for her life. Studying biodiversity, how cool is that? And maybe she'll hate it and quit two months in and start a—a travelling circus group or something."
In his arms, Ilya shakes with silent laughter.
"She's a whole adult," Shane continues. "Which is sad and terrifying but also really fucking amazing. Like, we did that. And Katya. But we did that."
"It is actually a miracle we didn't lose her at the zoo."
"See? Exactly."
They lie in silence for a moment and Ilya twists their fingers together over his stomach. A sudden thought sneaks up on Shane.
"We have to do this two more times."
"No, Shanya, please," Ilya whines and turns until he's facing Shane, hiding against Shane's neck.
"What if Nina wants to go to Julliard? Isn't that in New York?"
"What, and now you're going to tell me Daniel is moving to Australia?"
Shane brackets Ilya's face in his hands and brings him up to look at him. "Okay, maybe we'll take things as they come."
They meet in a kiss, soft and comforting and familiar. The next one is deeper and messier. Shane sighs into it, holding Ilya tightly as the glide of his lips and the flick of his tongue turns Shane's brain quiet. Ilya is warm against him, the hand at his waist an anchoring weight, fingers splayed and digging slightly into his skin. They kiss until Shane's lips tingle and his phone dings with notifications.
Giving Ilya's mouth a little peck in parting, he fumbles for his phone on the bed behind him. There's a message from Katya in their group chat and as he looks at it, his eyes sting a little. She's sent a picture of her and Nina tucked up in bed, their heads leaning against each other. Nina is laughing and holding her fingers up in a V-shape, and Katya makes the shape of a heart.
Shane tilts his phone towards Ilya and nudges his shoulder.
"Look at them," he says, voice wavering.
The smile on Ilya's face is so tender that Shane leans in and presses his lips to his temple, once and then twice, before staying there. While they have the chat open, a message from Daniel pops up that says I got new shoes with a picture of brand new sneakers. Shane wants to cry a little.
They take a picture of themselves, Shane's head atop of Ilya's, and send it back.
˙✧˖°🎓 ༘⋆｡ °
When they get back to Katya's dorm after breakfast, the girls are already up and working.
"This looks great!" Shane says when he steps in.
Katya has already put up some mood lighting and the shelves above her desk are filled with notebooks, colorful pens and other miscellaneous school supplies. The succulents have found their spot at one corner of her desk, her little desk lamp at the other.
"All these boxes are empty," she says and waves her hand to one corner. "Could you bring them down to the car so we have more space?"
Ilya stacks them all in his arms and heads down, while Shane turns towards the wall above her bed. It was empty yesterday, but now there's a thin string of star-shaped lights and pictures she has printed from her phone covering a section of it. Next to it, she's hung up her hockey jersey from when she used to play, Hollander-Rozanov displayed across it. Shane leans in, eyes on the pictures.
There's one of Katya at graduation with her friends, the four of them grinning at the camera dressed in their gowns. A few other pictures with her friends are dotted throughout. Another photo has a slightly younger Katya with Yuna and David at their house. Yuna and Katya are holding up a tray of cupcakes and David is giving a double thumbs up, their smiles wide. At the bottom there's one from when they still had Anya and their cat Pesto was just a kitten. Shane bites back a laugh, remembering when Katya refused to eat pesto for years because it made her too upset.
Ilya comes back after having brought all the boxes down and his arm drapes around Shane's waist as he, too, looks at the wall. There's a picture of Katya and Nina at the cottage, down by the lake, squinting against the sun. She has one of herself at ten with all the Pike kids in the backyard and next to that, a photo of all five Hollander-Rozanovs on vacation in London last year. In the one below it, Katya is skating with Daniel at the hockey camps where she's helped out for the past 3 summers. Finally, there's one of just Shane and Ilya, smiling at the camera with their arms around each other.
These are the photos Katya chose to put up on her wall in her new dorm. This is the life they've made, for all of them, and when Shane looks at it, he almost struggles to take it in. To see it up there, all these things that matter to Katya, he feels gut-punched by it. Maybe they made a life that he loves, that Ilya loves, but also their kids. It makes him unbearably emotional to think that maybe they've given Katya a childhood she can look back on happily, that can be her foundation when she needs it.
"Dad's gonna cry," Nina announces.
Shane jabs her in the ribs until she squirms away laughing and then lets Katya rope him into helping with her closet.
˙✧˖°🎓 ༘⋆｡ °
"Be careful alone outside after dark," Shane says when every empty box is back in the car and Katya's room is set up just the way she wants it.
"I will."
"And remember you need good sleep and proper food, even if you get busy."
"Yes, of course."
"There are condoms in the desk drawer."
"Dad, what the hell?" Katya looks at him wide-eyed while Nina loses it.
"Your dad is doing you a favor, Katyusha. Do you need us to have the talk again?"
"No, thank you, I think three times was enough, actually!"
"Does this mean I have to have it one more time?" Nina asks, her voice hoarse from laughing.
"Yes," Ilya says and she groans.
Shane throws his arms out. "I just want you to be safe, okay? I'm not going to be here every night to see that you're fine."
Katya's face softens and she smiles slightly. "I know, I promise I'll be careful."
When he hugs her goodbye, he envelops her in his arms and holds her tight, rocking them back and forth a little.
"I love you, Kat." He presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm so proud of you."
"Love you too, Dad."
Letting her go is a bit like cutting off a vital limb and leaving it behind. He tries to keep his heart from racing out of his chest as he watches Ilya and Nina say goodbye, but it keeps beating uncomfortably in his throat as they head out to the car.
˙✧˖°🎓 ༘⋆｡ °
Shane finds Ilya in the doorway to Katya's room later that night after they've ordered dinner and eaten it front of the TV instead of around the dinner table as Shane usually insists on. Daniel and Nina are downstairs laughing at something they're watching together, and Shane wraps his arms around Ilya from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.
"She won't be here for her birthday," Ilya says, looking into the room that still looks mostly like she left it. Some of her books are missing, her desk has been mostly cleared, and the closet is two thirds empty, but it still looks lived in.
"No," Shane agrees. "But she'll visit over a weekend and we'll celebrate it then. Or we'll go there. It's less than two hours, and we used to drive that all the time, baby."
Ilya leans back into him and laughs. "A lifetime ago, yes."
"We're not that old."
"It's weird to feel that she doesn't need us anymore. Maybe that is the worst thing."
"She does," Shane promises. "We just spent two days helping her move. If her laptop breaks she'll call you for money in two seconds flat."
Ilya's low laugh is interrupted by his phone ringing. A picture of Katya fills the screen, the name Katyusha in cyrillic flashing across it. Ilya nearly drops it in his haste to answer.
"привет звёздочкаHi, little star."
Shane listens to him speak and then the low hum of Katya's answers on the other end of the call. Ilya's expression is soft in the warmth of the light in the hallway, his shoulders suddenly more relaxed under Shane's touch.
"For you," Ilya says and holds the phone out.
"Hi, sweetheart."
"Hi, Dad!" Katya's voice is quiet on the other end. "I just wanted to say good night, really."
"Of course! Do you have any plans tomorrow?"
"I'm meeting Jade on her lunch break, so that'll be nice."
"That sounds fun, you need to say hi to her from us."
"Yeah, I will. Can you pet Pesto for me?"
"I'll give him so many pets for you. He won't know what hit him."
Katya laughs. "Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Kat."
He hangs up and smiles at Ilya, moving until they're hugging, sinking into Ilya's embrace.
"See?" He says. "She still needs us."
Ilya presses a kiss to his temple and hums. The moment is broken by a shriek from downstairs.
"Time to go check on the other monsters," Ilya says and takes Shane by the hand.
On the couch, Nina has Daniel in a headlock and she looks up when they enter, smiling sheepishly. Ilya steps up and pulls them apart, forcibly seating himself between them and throwing his arm over both of them as they protest loudly.
Shane pulls out his phone and takes a picture.