Chapter Text
Hey you.
Yes, you.
Listen to this.
You are doomed. Completely, utterly screwed.
Ever since that life-altering realization hit you, you started acting so differently toward your captain.
You fell for him. Fell really deep. Way deeper than the depths of Impel Down.
Stupidly in love. You like him so much it hurts—the kind of love where you would gladly throw yourself into the sea, die, and sacrifice everything for him.
Before that realization, you treated him purely as your commander. No awkward stammers, no lingering glances, and certainly no hidden harbor of feelings.
You only saw him as a captain you held in deep respect.
However, the boundary was slowly blurring. You did not even notice the moment you began seeing him differently until it became far too glaring to ignore.
Before, you never cared where you sat during noisy food gatherings. Now? You ruthlessly secure that single seat right beside him every single time.
You used to view your captain as just a cool, experienced older man whom you looked up to and could learn from. Suddenly, every lesson became a agonizing distraction instead of a learning experience.
And all at once, he became far too attractive. Okay, obviously he is hot, handsome, and impossibly charming. He is the exact type of man who makes women swoon and turns knees to jelly with a simple wink.
Now, though? Watching him make silly faces? Absolutely adorable.
Clumsy?
Hungover?
Still ridiculously adorable.
Do you know what the absolute worst part is?
He will just stand there on the deck, lost in his own head, looking completely oblivious because there is no way that man ever thinks. No offense to the captain, but he really just does whatever pops into his head. Yet, despite that, he remains effortlessly attractive without even trying.
What a blessing and a curse it is to watch him working on paperwork—his tongue poking out slightly while he concentrates, his hair a wild mess from relentless, confused head-scratching—and you still find it the most precious thing on earth.
It might sound odd to anyone else, but a thoroughly exhausted, lazy-eyed Shanks with dark circles and messy hair was peak attractiveness.
What do you mean he is not just the loud, cheerful, drunkard captain? What do you mean he can be everything all at once?
He is literally perfect.
With that final realization, you knew you were doomed. So, so doomed.
But I am just his crew mate...
Just his crew mate?
JUST HIS CREW MATE!?
Screw that!
There is no way you would let a little title stop you from liking him. What is wrong with liking your captain anyway? It is not as if it is forbidden by pirate law.
So you did what felt right.
Pursue him and show him how you truly feel.
...
wait, what?
First step: Planning.
It had been days since you accepted your feelings for the red-haired captain.
You spent most of those early days tucked away in your office planning your approaches, crafting pickup lines, and... accidentally drafting family plans.
First paper of the day:
Things to do with my future lover, aka Shanks, if we start dating:
- Hold his large, warm hand under the table while the crew yells stories.
- Steal and wear his iconic black cape.
- Cuddle comfortably in his quarters until we drift off to sleep.
- Make him carry me across the ship just because I want him to.
- Take care of him when the heavy weight of being a Yonko gets too tough to carry.
- Gently wipe the tears off his face while holding him close.
- Kiss his pretty lips until I am completely breathless.
....
Seventh paper:
Benefits of dating me:
- Hilarious, good with jokes
- A sharp Sharp-minded woman
- Combat strong
- Shares his exact chaotic humor
- Deeply caring and extremely sweet exclusive to Shanks only.
- Unquestionably beautiful
.....
Eleventh paper of the day:
-What hair color would our child inherit?
-Will they get my eyes or his bright ones?
-Will they be as handsome as their dad or beautiful like their mom?
-What would they call us?
- Mama and Papa
- Mom and Dad
- Mother and Father
And how many kids...
Your face flushed crimson at the mere thought of how many children your captain would want.
You slammed your forehead down onto your wooden desk with a loud thud.
Gosh, what on earth am I thinking?!
Second step: Seeking crush advice.
(AKA making everything ten times worse)
It was a perfectly peaceful afternoon for the sniper, until you ruined it.
"Psst. Psst."
Yasopp scanned the surrounding deck, squinting, but found nothing.
"Pssssssst."
"Who the hell...?"
You had popped up directly in front of the startled sniper from behind a barrel.
"HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP— what are you doing?!" Yasopp shrieked, clutching his chest.
"Shh! Quiet down! Captain is going to hear us."
you whispered harshly, pulling him by the vest.
"What is with you and these creepy antics lately?"
Yasopp grumbled, dusting himself off.
"I just... I need to talk to you about something important." you muttered, rubbing the back of your neck.
"Mhm." Yasopp crossed his arms, looking entirely unimpressed.
"I want to ask for... love advice."
Yasopp immediately broke into a massive, knowing grin.
You ducked your head, deliberately avoiding his gaze.
"Well, you came to the absolute right man! For I am a seasoned expert in the art of love—"
"You abandoned your wife."
Lucky Roux chimed in casually, biting off a huge chunk of meat as he walked past.
"HEY! You cannot just throw that around without context!" Yasopp yelled, flailing his arms.
"But that is literally what happened." Roux retorted around a mouthful.
"ROUX! Perfect timing, sit down and listen well." you snapped, dragging him over.
"Well... For example, purely as a hypothetical example.." you began, fidgeting with your fingers.
"Say a crew mate happens to develop a massive crush on their captain. Hypothetically! I mean, it happens to people. Not me, obviously—!"
"Just get to the point already." Roux chuckled, chewing continuously.
"Okay! So if someone falls for another person, how do they even start expressing it? Because, you know, some might consider it taboo to fall for your direct superior, but there is clearly nothing wrong with it, right?"
Lucky Roux and Yasopp nodded in enthusiastic agreement.
"So what should this hypothetical person do to get their feelings reciprocated?"
"Well, speaking as a romance master—"
"A romance master who left his family—"
"—I say you have to be bold!" Yasopp declared, striking a dramatic pose.
"Bold?" you echoed.
"Yeah! You have to show the captain what you feel. Make it painfully obvious without explicitly saying the words." Yasopp explained, leaning in.
"Right... That aligns with what I was thinking."
"And then, once the captain finally catches on to what is happening, boom! You plant a huge kiss on him!" Yasopp jabbed a finger in the air.
Your entire face flushed a vivid shade of red.
"A KISS? That is... That is way too sudden!"
"But it gets the job done! Yasopp insisted."
"Look, Yasopp, your advice is total garbage."
Roux interjected, waving his meat bone dismissively.
"Listen to me very carefully." Roux said, turning to you with an unusually serious expression.
You nodded briskly, hanging on his every word.
"You have to take practical action, not vague concepts like whatever he just babbled about." Roux explained calmly.
"Right... Right..."
"Flirt with him." Roux stated simply.
"F-FLIRT!??" you squeaked.
"There are levels to flirting, and you should start with the easiest one." Roux instructed.
"Compliments."
"Compliment him relentlessly." Roux continued.
"Doing mundane paperwork? Compliment his focus."
"Lifting a massive crate? Compliment how thick his muscles look."
"Downing a barrel of sake? Compliment his legendary alcohol tolerance."
"Just shower him with compliments! The captain thrives on attention, and he will definitely notice your subtle moves" Roux grinned.
"What about the higher levels?" you asked curiously.
"Oh, you are nowhere near ready for those." Yasopp chimed in, shaking his head.
"Why not?"
"Because those require extreme confidence and, well, raw seduction." Yasopp winked.
"Hey, isn't that taking it a bit far?" you muttered, burning up again.
"What do you mean far? Come on, if you are genuinely serious about your feelings for the captain, you cannot settle for bare-minimum effort." Roux reasoned.
"That actually makes a lot of sense—wait. What...? C-captain? Me...?"
How on earth did they figure it out? You never named him!
"Hey, this really is not about me and Captain Shanks! It was just a hypothetical question, I swear!" you stammered frantically.
"Yeah, sure it was." Yasopp chuckled smoothly.
"Oh, really? So it is not about the captain?" Roux smirked.
"Definitely not him!" you lied through your teeth.
"Ohhh, so is this about that pretty barmaid from the last island who kept staring at him? Are you trying to act as her wingman or something?" Yasopp teased.
Your eyes narrowed into razor-sharp slits. The warmth drained from your face, leaving an icy, deadly glare that made the air around you drop several degrees.
You stared at them with a look that plainly promised to throw them both overboard to the sea kings.
"Woah, hey, I was completely joking! Just a harmless joke!" Yasopp squeaked, throwing his hands up defensively.
"Fine! Since you already figured it out anyway, you guessed right!" you huffed, crossing your arms tightly.
"More like you blabbed it yourself." Roux mumbled quietly.
"Guessed what right?"
"That I—I... like the captain."
"Like who, exactly?"
Your eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.
All three of you jumped half a foot in the air at the sound of that deep, smooth voice directly behind you.
BECKMANN.
No, no, no.
Absolutely not the first mate!
"Took you long enough to finally admit it." Beckman exhaled calmly, blowing a trail of gray cigarette smoke into the air.
"Huh? What do you mean by that?" you asked, sweating bullets.
"You have been painfully obvious for weeks." Beckman replied, leaning against the wooden railing.
"Yeah, honestly it was getting a bit painful watching you tiptoe around him like a skittish mouse. We almost stepped in, but it was too entertaining." Yasopp added with a grin.
"Since you are already here, Benn, what advice do you have for me and my... problem?" you asked hopefully.
"Do not drag me into your chaotic mess."
Beckman said flatly, adjusting his coat.
"I already lose enough sleep managing the captain. I do not need another headache."
"What do you mean a headache? Benn, have you no heart for a loyal crewmate who just wants her love returned?You are entirely evil!" you whined dramatically.
"Beckman has no soul!" Roux chimed in.
"Yeah, go burn in hell—" Yasopp whisper-shouted from behind Roux.
Beckman slowly turned his head and offered Yasopp a glare.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling another long breath as if he truly was not paid enough for this crew.
"You really want my advice?" Beckman asked coldly.
You nodded solemnly, leaning forward.
"Go back to your quarters and get some sleep, because there is clearly something malfunctioning in your brain. Falling for that idiot? You must be severe sleep-deprived to reach that conclusion."
Beckman stated before turning on his heel and walking away.
Literally the most heartless first mate in the Grand Line.
Then again... his point was somewhat fair.
In the end, you ignored his advice for the first time in your pirate career.
You loved your captain far too much to give up before you even started.
If Benn would not back you up, at least Yasopp and Roux had your back. Besides, they gave you an actionable strategy that you were fully prepared to execute.
So finally,
Third step: Execution.
It was a brilliant, sunny day. The sky was clear, the ocean breeze was gentle, and the rest of the crew was bustling about their usual daily chores.
Everything was perfectly normal—except for your frantic heart rate.
You were in high spirits, but your nerves were screaming.
You took deep, slow breaths to settle your rolling stomach.
Last night, you had drafted a pickup line that felt clever enough to work on him.
You had spent an hour rehearsing it in front of a mirror, testing different inflections until you found the ultimate delivery.
Now was the time to use it.
Shanks was casually lounging on a wooden barrel beside Yasopp and Hongo.
They were discussing remaining food supplies and medical stocks, asking Shanks which route they should take next to find a proper port.
You hovered nearby, waiting for a pause in their conversation.
You took one last deep breath and slapped both of your hands against your cheeks to wake yourself up.
You slowly marched toward the three men, hiding your trembling hands behind your back.
It was now or never.
Come on! Be bold, just like Yasopp said.
Your approach was noticed immediately, and all three men paused their conversation to look at you.
Yasopp gave you a massive, mischievous smirk and flashed a subtle thumbs-up.
You gave him a swift wink in return.
"Oh, hey there!" Shanks beamed bright, resting his chin in his hand.
"Hey, Captain." you called out, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Yeah? What is up?" he asked pleasantly.
"Is your... father perhaps a pirate?" you delivered smoothly.
Shanks froze instantly. His smile dipped, his thick brows furrowing as he gave you a deeply confused and concerned look.
"What—? Why on earth are you asking about—"
"Because you are a total treasure." you cut in, delivering the punchline with a wide smile. You even had the audacity to click you tongue and wink at him.
Hongo and Yasopp immediately slammed their hands over their mouths, stifling loud snorts so as not to ruin your smooth pickup line.
Shanks stared at you for a long second before letting out a dry, awkward laugh.
"My father abandoned me—"
"An abandoned treasure."
...
Shit.