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“Nagi, we have to stop seeing each other.”
..
“I just can’t keep having these feelings for you. You know I have responsibilities and a future ahead of me.”
Every day, the same thoughts repeated themselves in his head. From the moment he woke up until nights like this, when Nagi was unable to fall asleep, that unbearable pressure in his chest refused to leave him alone
But had those really been Reo’s words? Nagi could no longer remember them precisely, the memory of that day was blurry. The only thing he could recall clearly was Reo’s face and the sensation of warm tears sliding down his cheek.
It had been almost eight months since Reo had completely disappeared from his life
The last time he saw him was at the graduation party. That was when Reo told him they couldn’t see each other anymore and then blocked him on all platforms that very same night
But was that really all? Had all those years together meant nothing to him?
At first, Nagi thought Reo would come looking for him. He thought Reo would reach out again. He would come back eventually. That was what Nagi had believed, but too much time had already passed.
As time went on, the idea that Reo would come back no longer seemed like a possibility, it felt more like a lie that was keeping him from giving up completely
His absence had left a painful void—one that actually hurt physically. Sometimes he struggled to get out of bed, and other times even breathing required an unnecessary effort. His mood wasn’t helping at all with his college life either, the second semester had barely begun, and he was already on the verge of failing two courses due to absences.
Tired of thinking, Nagi let out a sigh and rolled over in bed. He eventually drifted off to sleep a few minutes later.
And once again, the sun had risen, a morning just like any other. Nagi swatted away the repetitive, irritating sound of his alarm clock with a wave of his hand and went back to sleep; sleeping was one of the few things that hadn’t been a nuisance lately.
Until his sleep was interrupted, this time not by his alarm clock, but by continuous knocking on his door
“Nagi-gamii, we brought food!!” exclaimed Bachira
“Nagi, if you don’t open this door in ten seconds, we’re coming in anyway,” Isagi muttered.
He didn’t want to see them, he really didn’t, but he couldn’t just keep avoiding the people who cared about him. Even Barou, with all his pride and clumsy way of showing affection, had been calling him several times. It was almost always just to yell at him for ignoring his messages or for disappearing without warning.
As if pretending everything was normal was easier than asking him directly if he was okay.
Nagi let out a long sigh and mustered all his strength to slide his legs out of bed, ending up sitting on the edge.
“Coming, ” he replied in a hoarse voice, making it clear he’d just woken up.
Nagi grabbed his phone and walked down the hallway, that feeling of exhaustion, even after sleeping all day, had already become a regular occurrence for him.
When he reached his door, he grabbed the doorknob and turned it lazily.
On the other side stood his two friends. Isagi had his arms crossed, looking annoyed even though his gaze betrayed concern, while Bachira was smiling sympathetically as he held a plastic bag containing what appeared to be food.
“Hi,” Nagi greeted them, somewhat expressionless.
Bachira and Isagi made their way into his apartment, instantly breaking the silence of the place. It took less than three steps for Isagi to start picking up the empty fast-food boxes from the counter and gathering the clothes scattered across the floor.
“You’re still the same…”
Isagi walked over to the fridge and clicked his tongue when he found it empty.
“Seriously, Nagi? A couple of gelatin cups and two bottles of water? I thought we’d already talked about this—”
Meanwhile, Bachira set the bag of food down on the table. When he was done, he walked over to Isagi, peered over his shoulder, and let out a sigh.
“Nagi… you really should eat a little, okay?” he murmured softly
Nagi merely let out an “uh-huh” and flopped onto the couch, sinking into the cushions. He pulled out his phone and opened the first game that caught his eye. Isagi, who had just thrown the fast-food boxes in the trash, tried to walk over to the couch but paused for a moment to look down. He had stepped on one of Nagi’s notebooks.
"Did you skip class this week, too?"
“I think so,” Nagi replied flatly.
“I see…” Isagi murmured
"And, are you still not planning on going back to the club, Nagi?? Chigiri keeps asking about you every week" Bachira added, sitting down on the couch while playing with the ends of his hair
“I don’t know.”
Bachira sighed and leaned in to try to see the screen of the white-haired boy, who remained absorbed in his game.
“What are you playing?” he asked with a smile.
“No, Bachira. We didn’t come here to play,” Isagi interrupted, then shot Nagi a glance.
“We came to see how you were doing, Nagi…”
Nagi didn’t answer, and the silence that followed seemed to last forever. Isagi just checked his watch, huffing when he saw the time, and picked up his backpack from the floor to sling it over his shoulder
“We have to go, there’s a friendly match in half an hour,” the blue-haired boy announced as he walked toward the door, followed by Bachira
Isagi left the door half open and paused for a moment.
“Nagi, how about …”
“No,” the white-haired boy cut him off immediately, before Isagi could even finish suggesting that he come to the game.
The blue-haired boy glanced sideways at his friend sitting on the couch and clutched the straps of his backpack
“How much longer do you plan to keep this up, Nagi?”
“Isagi…” Bachira interjected, touching his arm cautiously
“No, Bachira, we’ve been avoiding this topic for months”
“We know Reo’s absence is getting to you…”
Nagi clenched his phone with tense fingers
“But you can’t just throw your life away because of that.”
Nagi looked away and remained silent. Isagi watched him for a few more seconds, hoping he might react, but Nagi didn’t respond
Isagi sighed resignedly and finished opening the door
"At least do it for him" he added without looking back
Bachira turned slightly before leaving
"See ya, Nagi…" he murmured, forcing a faint smile
The slam of the door and the echo of Isagi’s voice were the last sounds to reverberate through the apartment. The cell phone screen showed that he’d lost the game, Nagi couldn’t even remember when he’d stopped tapping the screen.
The screen finally went dark, and all that remained was the black glass of the phone as tears fell onto it.
What will I do without you, Reo?
The days continued to pass with the same unbearable monotony. Nagi stopped going to college altogether, he barely left his apartment, and visits from Isagi and Bachira became somewhat routine.
Time kept moving forward, but for him, it had already stopped.
Reo’s life had changed drastically since that night he decided to push Nagi away
As time went on, his responsibilities only multiplied. His days had become repetitive and strangely burdensome. He accompanied his father to business meetings, reviewed documents, handled company matters, prepared for the arranged marriage his parents had planned behind his back, and attended meetings with his fiancée’s family. Reo learned to simply nod along.
Every conversation revolved around a future from which there was no escape. He had to go on with his life, the one they had chosen for him.
He no longer had time to be with his friends, do things he enjoyed like soccer, or even feel like doing any of those things.
And yet, he kept convincing himself that he had made the right decision by pushing Nagi away. If he could keep him at a distance, things would be easier for both of them. He wouldn’t be prolonging the pain.
And so the months passed, with that weight pressing down on his chest until, without realizing it, the wedding was suddenly far too close.
Three days.
He had three days left.
Since when had he lost track of time?
The preparations were already complete, as was the guest list. Reo had invited all his friends, making it clear that they could bring a guest,secretly hoping that one of them would show up with a certain white-haired boy with brown eyes.
It wasn’t until the day before the wedding that, after hours of going back and forth, he finally decided to send Nagi an invitation.
He needed to see him, even if it was under those circumstances. It would be enough just to know he was still there, to see those light-colored eyes that sparkled in the sunlight one more time, or to catch a glimpse of his tousled hair again.
And then the so-called big day arrived .The wedding he had been trying to ignore all this time.
Reo was impeccably dressed, in a perfectly tailored suit, his hair carefully styled, and wearing a refined cologne. The guests arrived one after another, and his eyes kept searching for that same boy in the crowd.
But there was no sign of Nagi anywhere, and the guests stopped arriving, until the last familiar face appeared at the entrance.
It was Chigiri
and he was alone
Reo’s hopes faded. All the guests had arrived, and at that point, it was unlikely that Nagi would show up. He’d never received a reply from him to the invitation he’d sent. Nagi had probably never even seen it.
Chigiri approached to greet him before the ceremony began
“Congratulations, Reo.”
Reo smiled at him out of habit.
“Thanks.”
Chigiri seemed like he wanted to say something else. He parted his lips slightly, glanced toward the entrance of the hall for a brief moment, and then closed his mouth again, keeping his thoughts to himself
“I hope you’ll be happy.”
What followed was a blur for Reo. His father approached him to say a few words, his mother adjusted the collar of his suit and congratulated him, along with the other guests. Reo didn’t hear a word they said, yet he nodded and smiled whenever necessary
Unconsciously, he kept glancing toward the entrance. Maybe… just maybe, there was a chance he’d see his treasure again.
A chance- a uncertain one. And just like that, it was time for the vows.
Reo said “I do” instantly. He hadn’t heard the question, or the words the officiant had spoken at the beginning of the ceremony, he just knew that was what he had to say.
His fiancée responded in the same way, and they both leaned in to seal the commitment neither of them had chosen. When their lips barely touched, the guests stood up and began to applaud enthusiastically.
Reo smiled again.
Although everyone around him seemed genuinely happy, the moment felt painfully hollow. The entire event turned his stomach. When the ceremony was over and the last guest began to leave, Reo looked toward the entrance one more time.
Nothing
A month and a few days later
During the first few weeks after the wedding, Reo tried to convince himself that it was best to leave things as they were. But he couldn’t take it anymore, physically, he just couldn’t and now that he was married, he felt, in a way, that he had fulfilled his obligation.
He ended up giving in.
So, a week earlier, Reo had reached out to Nagi for the first time in almost a year.
But there was no reply.
Two days later, he sent another message.
Nothing.
The next day, he tried calling him. The phone rang until the call ended on its own. Nagi still didn’t answer.
Maybe he was ignoring him. He was probably still mad at him.
A few days later, unable to wait any longer, Reo found himself in front of the building where Nagi lived. But when he said his name, he was told that Nagi had moved out months ago
How much had he missed?
Reo decided to find another way to track him down. With the help of one of his friends, he might still be able to find out where he was and, eventually, reunite with him. That same night, he opened Isagi’s chat and sent a message
"Isagi, can we meet up tomorrow?
Isagi didn’t reply right away, causing Reo to check the chat over and over with growing impatience. Until, a few minutes later, a message finally appeared on his screen
"Yeah, sure"
The next day, Reo was the first to arrive at the café where they had agreed to meet. He had been waiting for a few minutes when the blue-haired boy showed up.
"Reo"
Reo looked up at him and smiled
“Isagi, hi. Thanks for coming.”
Isagi took a seat across from him and forced himself to return the smile. He had dark circles under his eyes, red, irritated eyes, and a strangely vacant look.
Reo’s smile faded a little. He was about to ask if he was okay, but Isagi spoke first.
"Reo, are you okay?"
..
"Uh… Yeah? Are you okay, Isagi?" Reo blinked, looking a bit confused
Isagi looked down
"Well..."
"I’m trying to deal with all this, you know"
Reo frowned slightly
"you are trying to deal with what?"
Isagi looked up at him, surprised by the question.
“Reo, don’t tell me that…”
He tried to say something else, but Reo interrupted him. He had to remember why he’d come.
"Isagi, I actually asked you to meet up because I wanted to ask you about Nagi"
Isagi’s eyes widened suddenly, and he froze completely. This prompted Reo to speak again
"I’ve been trying to reach him all week. He’s not answering my messages or my calls. Do you know anything about him?"
Isagi didn’t respond, and Reo waited a few seconds, watching him with growing unease.
"Isagi?"
"Reo… you d-don’t know?"
"Huh?"
"You don’t know what happened…?"
Reo frowned.
“What happened?”
Isagi looked away and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
“Why did I have to be the one to tell you…?” he muttered, almost to himself.
“Isagi?”
“No…”
“Isagi, you’re scaring me.”
Isagi finally looked up, his eyes moist
“They found Nagi dead in his apartment two weeks ago, Reo.”
Reo stared at him without blinking. He didn’t understand what Isagi had just said, the words reached his ears, but they refused to make sense.
“What did you say?”
Isagi swallowed hard.
“I said they found Nagi dead tw...”
“No.” he cut him off
His eyes searched Isagi’s face as if he were waiting for him to take it back
“No. That’s impossible, Isagi.”
"Reo..."
A short, hollow laugh escaped him.
“If this is some kind of joke, it’s not funny.”
Isagi lowered his gaze.
“I wish it was a joke”
“No,” Reo muttered, shaking his head. “You’ve got the wrong person.”
“Reo, I thought it was a mistake too…”
“It is.”
“No…”
“It is, It has to be”
Reo’s voice grew louder. His heart began to race, and he could feel his stomach start to knot up. Shit. His body was wrong, it was wrong for reacting like this. Nothing happened, Isagi was lying, and Reo knew it.
“Reo…”
"No, Isagi!! You don’t know what you’re talking about!!”
“He's alive- I know he's alive.”
Reo stood up so quickly that the chair fell backward.
“I need to see him.”
Isagi stood up with him and grabbed his arm.
“Please, Reo.”
Reo pulled away from his grip abruptly.
“Let go”
The people in the cafeteria began to stare at them in surprise, exchanging glances and whispers. Reo clenched his teeth and started walking toward the exit, ignoring the stares. Isagi followed him.
“Reo, wait!!”
“I already told you I’m going to find him.”
“You can’t do that!!”
Isagi followed Reo to the café’s exit, and now both boys were out on the street. With his fists clenched, Reo kept walking while Isagi tried to keep up, falling behind.
Isagi quickened his pace and grabbed Reo’s arm again, this time more forcefully, causing Reo to stop short in surprise.
“Let go of me!!”
“Where are you going?!”
Reo tried to break free from his grip once more, but Isagi held him tight, refusing to let go. Reo tried to keep moving forward without looking back, acting impulsively.
“Reo, stop!!” Isagi exclaimed, moving the hand he had on Reo’s arm to his shoulder in an attempt to stop him.
Reo instinctively raised his arm to push Isagi’s hand off his shoulder. But he ended up accidentally elbowing him right in the face to push him away.
Isagi stopped dead in his tracks and brought a hand to his nose, from which blood began to flow. Reo turned around, hyperventilating, his eyes widened at the sight of the blood, and he took a step toward Isagi out of pure reflex, but stopped mid-movement.
Nagi
The thought flashed through his mind in an instant. He clenched his fists, stepped back, and shook his head.
“I have to find him.”
Without waiting for a response, he turned around again and kept walking.
“Reo, wait!!” Isagi shouted, wiping the blood away with the back of his hand before continuing to chase after him.
Reo kept walking without looking back. With trembling hands, he took out his cell phone and dialed Nagi’s number.
The phone rang once, twice, three times. But there was no answer.
He called again.
“Come on… answer…”
He kept walking, holding the phone in his hands. Nagi always carried his phone with him, he had to answer.
He dialed again, the ringtone sounded once more with no answer. Reo swallowed hard and called a third time, but still got no answer. Maybe he was busy, maybe his phone was dead, maybe he was sleeping. There were thousands of possibilities, it didn’t mean anything.
Reo dialed one last time.
“Reo!!” Isagi exclaimed, catching up to him.
The call went straight to voicemail.
Reo threw his phone to the ground infrustation
“Shit!!”
He brought both hands to his head and pressed them hard against it. He closed his eyes, He had to think. Find a solution. There had to be an explanation. Everything was still fine, he just had to find him. He could still do that.
Something seemed to click in his head, causing him to look up at Isagi suddenly
“Tell me where he is.”
Isagi didn’t answer
“Tell me where Nagi is.”
Isagi just looked at him with anguish. Reo took a step toward him and grabbed him aggressively by the collar of his shirt
“Tell me!!”
“Reo…”
“You know where he is—take me to him!!”
“I can’t…”
“TAKE ME TO HIM!!”
Isagi closed his eyes for a moment.
“I can’t do that”
Reo let go of Isagi’s shirt and shoved him back.
“Then I’ll find him myself.”
Reo began to walk faster and faster. He would jog for a few moments, stop, and then start running again. He turned corners frantically, crossed streets without looking, and kept moving forward. He had no destination, but he kept trying to reach something or rather, someone.
He even went so far as to stop people on the street, his breathing labored.
“Excuse me, do you know anyone named Nagi Seishiro?”
The woman shook her head. Reo kept walking.
“Have you seen a boy with white hair? A little taller than me? Brown eyes?”
The man shook his head again. Reo kept asking about him, with growing desperation.
“He wears light-colored jackets, and his hair is always messy.”
Another person shook their head.
“He plays soccer; he really likes video games”
No one seemed to recognize him
“He can fall asleep anywhere, he’s always sleepy”
People looked at him in confusion.
“He has a cactus as a pet, he likes lemon tea…”
Reo swallowed hard and stopped another stranger.
“He’s the most important person in my life.”
“Please, you have to know him…”
Reo stopped asking people on the street and continued dragging himself along the path. His vision began to blur, everything around him started to fade. His heart kept pounding violently in his chest, and his knees began to give out.
Suddenly, a memory of Nagi flashed through his mind.
When Reo would touch his head to wake him up in class, and he would slowly look up, the corners of his mouth barely curving into a small smile.
He remembered that smile.
Nagi wasn’t someone who smiled often and not because he didn’t feel joy. He enjoyed the little things and expressed it in such subtle ways that it was easy to think he found everything a nuisance, even though that wasn’t the case.
He was never good with words, but he was capable of breaking small habits to show that he cared about someone. He wasn’t an especially affectionate person, but precisely because of that, his affection had always been genuine.
And don’t even get Reo started on how comforting it was to hear him laugh or simply talk, that dry yet soft voice, one that he would never have grown tired of.
Reo stopped, staggering.
Nagi would never smile at him again.
That thought appeared in his mind with the same clarity as the memory from before. Reality hit him hard. His legs gave out first, and he ended up collapsing onto a park bench.
A tear fell onto his hands, followed by two more. And then the crying came all at once. Reo lowered his head and hugged himself, closing his eyes as the tears continued to stream down his cheeks
A few seconds later, footsteps approached him. Isagi stopped in front of him, still bearing traces of dried blood. He didn’t say anything, he simply sat down beside him, his gaze lowered. Reo continued to cry. Sob after sob, he began to murmur to himself as he trembled with his head bowed.
“You’re lying…”
“My treasure is still with me…”
“He’s still with me, he’s still with me, h-he’s still with me,” he repeated in a choked voice, unable to catch his breath.
All afternoon, Reo kept crying. His sobs gradually subsided, and the burning in his eyes eventually became painful.
It was that very afternoon when he realized he had lost Nagi a long time ago.
When he understood that time was much more precious than he thought. During all those months, he had lived as if there would always be another chance, ignoring the passing of the days, because it was easier to carry on that way than to face reality.
He let the days slip by because he believed he still had time.
But now, regret was just a stab in the gut. So many questions flooded his mind at once, Why?? Why did he wait so long? Why didn’t he get there sooner??
Isagi raised a hand slightly and rested it on his back
A little while later, when his crying had subsided from a scream to just a faint whisper, Reo closed his eyes and murmured
"My Treasure…"
"I’m sorry I was too late"
The End...