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and the arms of the ocean are c a r r y i n g me
and all this d e v o t i o n was running over me
and the crashes are h e a v e n, for a sinner like me
but in the arms of the ocean, d e l i v e r m e
never let me go, n e v e r let me go
never let me go, never l e t m e g o
Florence + the Machine - Never Let Me Go
Linden’s awake before the alarm goes off. It’s a normal for her, she always wakes up just before, itching to get out and run. She looks around the room, enjoying the soft orange and yellow glow of the sunrise. She loves to run in the morning, to watch the the world wake up. After a lifetime of perpetual darkness the last few weeks have been like coming up for fresh air.
She stretches out lazily in the early morning haze. Holder is sleeping peacefully beside her, snoring softly. She watches him quietly, intently. It’s like she’s trying to memorize him, memorize his face. She loves how it looks when he sleeps. She reaches out and gently brushes an eyelash from his cheek. He stirs but doesn’t open his eyes.
Though they solved the case the night before she can picture the mountain of paperwork waiting for them. The alarm starts out low and slow, gaining speed and volume and confidence as it progresses. She rolls onto her side and turns it off. She smiles to herself before she starts to lift the blanket.
A rough hand slides along the waistband of her pajamas and slides under her shirt, wrapping around her waist and anchoring her in place. He’s still half asleep but he kisses her neck softly. She can feel him, hot and hard against her skin. She tries to pull away, “I have to go run,” she laughs.
“You run later,” he grumbles into her ear. He’s tracing circles on her abdomen with his thumb. She listens for a moment, savoring the comfortable repetition of his breath and the tenderness of his touch. She leans back into him, letting him pull her even closer and she sighs contently.
She closes her eyes for a second and almost falls back asleep, “I have to go run,” she says again. This has become a normal occurrence in the morning and she knows if she doesn’t slip out of his grasp she’ll run out of time and her run will have to wait.
She starts to pull away but he holds her steady. He slips his whole hand under her shirt, sliding it up enough that she can feel his skin pressing against her back, “don’t worry, baby,” he says, “I’ll work you out.” He rolls her on her back and slips her shirt over her head. He kisses her gently before trailing his lips down her neck and shoulder. He sucks her collarbone and she arches up into him.
The first time she had expected him to be quick. She knows better now, as he moves in for another kiss, that he’s a patient and calculated lover. He kisses her softly, running his hands along her ribs. He nibbles her bottom lip before he slips his tongue between her teeth, deepening the kiss. He pulls back and looks down at her.There’s a low, slow carnal growl in the bottom of his throat.
He knows where to touch her and where to kiss her. He knows when to go speed up, when to go slow. No one’s known her body quite so intimately. She’s moaning lightly as he makes his way around and down her body.
He makes love to her slowly, almost teasingly. She’d never known it could be like this. Tender and feral at the same time. Every nerve in her body feels like it’s on fire. By the time he picks up his pace she’s begging, almost pleading for him. He holds her hands over her head, kissing her hard when he finishes. He collapses on top of her, both of them spent and smiling.
“Told you I’d work you out,” he says, panting. He places a kiss to her forehead before rolling onto his back. She laughs and follows him, not ready for the contact to be broken. She rests her head on his chest and smiles as he starts to lazily trace circles between her shoulder blades.
They relax together for a few blissful moments before she drags herself into a sitting position. She glances at the clock and reaches for her running clothes. She feels Holder shift in the bed and bounces lightly when he stands up. “Still goin?” he asks.
“Yeah,” she smiles up at him. His body is thin, but strong, and she can’t help but sweep an appreciative glance down it. He winks and heads into the bathroom.
He’s standing at the coffee maker in his boxers when she heads to the door. She kisses him on the cheek and slides her headphones in. She loves the crisp, cool air of the morning as she takes her first few steps.
She’d started running to escape her life, to tell the truth. She’d started out with so much to run from. She hadn’t realized it at first but she’d be running from everything. Her job, her boyfriends. She’d been running from the self-deprecating thoughts she’d been so good at wallowing in.
Something changed though, when she’d gone back to work and Holder had started staying over. She’d continued running because of the peace it brought her. There was something so relaxing in the repetition of her feet on the pavement, in the trees as she ran past them, in the sunrise and the fresh air in her lungs. She’s not running away anymore though, she’s running home.
She’s breathing heavy as she slows down for the last half a mile. She can see her house in the distance and it makes her smile. She always wonders what Holder is doing as she cools down. There is something comforting about knowing he’s there, waiting for her. She’d never that before, the excitement of coming home to someone.
She rounds the driveway and jogs up to the door. He’s standing over the stove looking perplexed. She can’t help but laugh at the sight of him, her ‘tough guy’ partner is staring at a box of pancake mix like it’s written in Chinese.
“Problem?” She asks, still giggling.
His head snaps up, surprised, “nope,” he says slyly and he slides the box back into the cupboard. He looks down at the bowl in front of him as she walks over. He wraps an arm around her waist and gives her a quick squeeze and a kiss on the top of her head.
“I’m going to go have a shower,” she rests her head on his shoulder, “if you don’t need me?”
He pushes her away, “I got this,” he says confidently.
Her shower is warm and quick. She’s eager to see how the pancake situation plays out. She shrugs on a pair of jeans and a sweater, pauses to brush her hair into a loose ponytail before she runs back down the stairs, two at a time.
The main floor smells burnt and she has a feeling it’s not going so well. Holder is standing at the sink with a smoking pan in his hand. There is a stack of burnt pancakes beside him. He hears her approach and turns around, “it’s your stove,” he says definitively.
“Sure it is,” she laughs again.
“I’m a champion chef,” his eyes narrow playfully.
She walks up behind him and wraps her arms around his waist, “clearly,” she presses her forehead to his back, breathing him in. He drops the pan into the sink and squeezes her arm, “we can grab something to eat on the way to work.”
“I wanted a donut anyway,” he turns around and smiles down at her.
She tilts her head up and kisses him before she smirks, “you’re buying”. She pulls away and grabs her jacket.
He shakes his head and follows her out of the house, pausing to watch her walk. He jogs up behind her, grabbing her around the waist and lifting her up. She screams and laughs, squealing as he puts her back down on the ground. He doesn’t let go of her waist as she turns around. He kisses her again, backing her up against the car.
He reaches around her and unlocks the door. When he pulls back her face is flush and pink, not unlike when she gets home from a run. He heads around to his side of the car and winks at her before he slides into the drivers’ seat. She can’t help but roll her eyes as she opens her door. She reaches over and takes his hand as he pulls out of the driveway and she holds on to it, smiling.
never let me go, n e v e r let me go
never let me go, never l e t m e g o
Florence + the Machine - Never Let Me Go