Chapter Text
The beauty of the trees became increasingly visible as the water plane glided towards Muskoka, and the late afternoon sun spread its rays on the deep blue water making it shimmer beneath them, lighting a pathway home. After a year of her new life in the city, Ramona felt comforted by the fresh, familiar air of the lakes and the sight of the cottages scattered along the waterfront.
Her peaceful thoughts were interrupted by Connor who blurted, "Dude, you're my sister and I love you, but you're breathing like crazy loud right now."
Reaching her leg over to lightly kick his shin, Ramona responded, "Well this is the first time in a year that I've breathed air that wasn't full of car fumes and weed so excuse me for enjoying it."
“Uh, New York air isn’t filled with that shit,” he contested.
“I love New York but it’s filled with that and more, man. I don’t know how people don’t fucking drop dead after breathing on the subway platforms.”
”She's got a point there,” Annie, who was sat between the two, chimed in, leading Ramona to shoot Conner a playfully gloating look. Annie softened her voice and looked to her side, “You happy to be home?”
”Yeah, I think so,” she replied, “I’ve missed this place.”
”Me too,” Annie said, gently nudging her shoulder against Ramona’s side. “How are you feeling about…you know, seeing —”
”I don’t know,” Ramona interjected, turning to face the window again, “I’ve been trying not to think about it.”
“About what, Oona?” Connor said, “She broke your fucking heart, Rams, be done with her. Thank you next, that’s what Ariana Grande said.”
Annie turned to look her her brother in confusion, asking, “And how is it you know what Ariana Grande said?”
”Also,” Ramona added, leaning forward to look at him, “I thought I told you to drop the nickname, you’re literally calling me a sheep.”
“Okay number one, I listened to her songs so that this new girl I’m into thinks I’m cool and deep. Number two, I’m gonna keep the nickname so tough.”
Both girls sighed and leant back in their seats. Ramona felt herself becoming more nervous at the idea of seeing Oona again. She hadn’t let herself feel it properly until that moment, which she realised was probably a mistake.
As they approached the cottage, the plane landed and skimmed the surface of the water to get nearer the deck. A welcome party was waiting for them and Ramona’s eyes instantly caught sight of blonde curly hair, which made her quickly look down at her lap. She gave herself the few seconds before the plane reached the deck to compose herself, trying to level her breathing and slow her heart rate.
When the plane docked, a chorus of cheers erupted from the group as they held up makeshift ‘Welcome Home’ signs decorated with pink glitter and crayon rainbows.
Annie was the first to step out, and Ellis quickly held out a hand for her to grab on to as she wobbled onto the deck.
“Aww what a gentleman,” Oona said, sarcastically, and whilst they were mid-hug, the couple responded with middle fingers.
Connor and Ramona hopped off and the group excitedly exchanged hugs, with each friend taking it in turn to embrace each of the siblings. Between squeals of excitement, many phrases were repeated amongst them — ‘It’s been so long!’ ‘You look gorgeous!’
Typically, Ramona didn’t like such dramatic scenes of affection but after not seeing her friends for a year, she let it pass. After hugging Sully and listening to them explain their long artistic process for the welcome signs, she turned to realise that Oona was the last person in line to hug.
The group conversation suddenly faded into background noise and Ramona saw her periphery blur until the only thing she could see was Oona, with the faint outline of the trees behind her. She stood firmly in place and looked at her, waiting to see how she’d want to play this.
“Mona,” she started. Her hands were in the pockets of her shorts and she was slouched into one hip, exuding a casual confidence that Ramona could never achieve. “It’s good to see you, man,” Oona said, in a tone of sincerity that she was surprised by.
“You too,” she breathed, grateful that she could get any words out at all. Oona took a step forward and reached an arm out, and Ramona leaned in and let her wrap her arms around her. She felt Oona’s chin rest on her head and she could smell her signature perfume on the t-shirt she was wearing.
The hug wasn’t as close and strong as they had both been accustomed to, but Ramona was glad that it seemed like they could try and be normal again.
A voice from the group broke their hug and they both took a couple of steps back. “Alright guys, you got here at the perfect time because there’s a party tonight and we’re all going,” Sully announced.
”Oh wow, do you wanna give us a second to unpack before you start filling our schedules?” Annie joked.
”Nope, I haven’t seen you people in ages so unfortunately we’re gonna have to spend every moment together,” they said, prompting laughter from the group.
“Alright, let’s get you guys in,” Ellis said, taking Annie’s suitcases and wheeling them towards the path.
They all took a piece of luggage and walked up to the house. Without intending to, Ramona found herself at the back of the group with Oona next to her, who willingly broke the silence before it became too awkward. “By the way, Maple really wanted to come see you but she was invited to a sleepover for the weekend.”
”Ah that’s alright, sleepovers come first. I’m excited to see her though,” she replied as she pulled her suitcase up a step. She hesitated before continuing to speak, and said, “Was there like…any other word from your mom?”
Oona breathed in deeply and looked out towards the trees before speaking in her usual blasé tone, “Yeah, she actually came at Christmas time. She brought me a meditation bell from India and Maple a tiny statue of a Hindu God.” She scoffed and looked down, shaking her head in what looked like disbelief. “She doesn’t know us at all. And then two days later she fucked off again to God knows where without saying anything as fucking always. So yeah, that’s how it’s going.” After another sigh, she admitted, “I just feel sorry for Maple. She was so happy when mum came back and I had to explain why she left again.”
”That’s so shitty of her. And look, it’s terrible for Maple but she also let you down again. You’re allowed to feel…” Ramona hesitated trying to find the right emotion to use.
”Nah man, you don’t have to use that talk on me, it’s all fine,” Oona said, “I’m used to it aren’t I?”
She turned to Ramona with a tight lipped smile of acceptance, and in turn Ramona felt the familiar ache in her heart thinking about the two sisters. She never knew what was worse, not having a mom at all or having such a shitty one that you might as well not. And as that question raged on in her head, so did the conflict about how to act in these situations. Oona wasn’t usually up for talking about her mother even when they were together for that short time, and Ramona didn’t want to appear as if she was overstepping, so she let it be.
They all walked into the house and set the suitcases down throughout the living room.
“Okay, we’ll let you guys get unpacked,” Ellis said, clapping his hands together, “but we’ll see you tonight.” He handed Annie a slip of paper with an address on it and kissed her cheek.
“Oh dude, gross. Get a room kids,” Connor groaned as he covered his eyes melodramatically.
“Ready to go?” Annie called up the staircase.
Quickly tightening her bandana, Ramona shouted back, “Yeah, one sec!” After she raced downstairs they made their way to the boat at the bottom of the hill. “Connor not coming?”
“He’s gone with Rory already, said they had ‘guy stuff’ to take care of.”
“Oh lord help us,” she said, rolling her eyes whilst she stepped onto the boat.
“Isn’t it just so fun to have a brother?” Annie asked, scrunching up her face and shoulders in mock joy.
Ramona started the engine and prepared to start driving, responding, “Oh yeah, it’s everything I dreamed about.”
The sun was setting and its orange rays were shining through the trees, illuminating both their faces. After a while of silently enjoying each other's company, Ramona observed, “So you and Ellis picked up right where you left off, huh?”
“Yeah, seems like it. We were writing to each other back and forth throughout the year so that helped.”
“That’s really good. And like,” she said, turning behind her to look at Annie with a smirk, “you’ll have all summer together.”
“Shut up!” Annie replied.
“Don’t pretend you’re not excited.”
“Eyes on the water, girl, turn around,” she said with an uncontainable smile, miming a spinning motion with her index finger.
After putting her hands up in surrender, Ramona turned back to the wheel and smiled remembering how giddy Annie was last summer talking about him.
“So,” Annie started, after a pause, “You and Oona seemed…normal-ish.”
She felt her face fall back to her usual expression and her grip on the steering wheel grew tighter. “Yeah, I think it’ll be fine,” she muttered, more to herself than to Annie.
“Do you think you’ll — I don’t know, try something with her again?”
“I don’t know. I guess part of me wants to, the part that… still loves her or whatever. But… yeah I don’t know. She’s — it’s complicated,” she brushed off, shaking her head to get rid of the thoughts.
“Well just see how it goes for the next few days.”
Ramona nodded in agreement and the rest of the journey was filled with casual conversation about what they’d be doing for the rest of the summer.
When they arrived at the party, the sun had almost disappeared, and after Ramona moored the boat they climbed off and headed inside. “I’m gonna go let Ellis know we’re here, okay?” Annie said, to which Ramona nodded.
Left on her own, she followed her usual move of pouring herself a drink and internally judging whoever’s playlist was on the speakers. A few people stopped to greet her as she moved through the house, but most of them looked like rich idiots she had never met. She didn’t like the way her eyes instinctively started scanning the room for curly blonde hair, but couldn’t help it.
The crowd was becoming more drunk with each passing moment, and Ramona was trying to wade through to get a vantage point of the floor. Climbing a few steps, she looked out at all the people, squinting her eyes and leaning on the balls of her feet.
Her eyes locked on the blonde hair that she had been looking for and she realised that Oona was turned away from her. With her head slightly leaning down. And her hand resting higher against the wall in front of her.
Ramona’s ears started to ring and she could feel the sickness form in her stomach. Against her own will, she kept her eyes on the scene to confirm what she was looking at. She wasn’t seeing things — Oona was making out with another girl.
After she had just about managed to regain feeling in her legs, she beelined towards the nearest door and staggered towards the grass. She regained her breath and chuckled scornfully. “Should’ve known,” she said to herself, kicking the dirt underneath her shoes. “Should’ve fucking known.”
The dry patch of grass was itchy under her thighs as she sat down and lit herself a joint, thinking about how she could possibly go on as normal after seeing that. The only way she could think of was to avoid her until the feeling went away, but it probably wouldn’t be that sustainable.
Footsteps sounded behind her which snapped her back into the moment and she realised she had lost track of how long she’d been outside. Connor approached and shook her shoulders before sitting down next to her. “Hey Rams, how you doing?”
She subtly rolled her eyes at the nickname but was glad that he joined her. “Not great, gonna be real,” she said, puffing out a cloud of smoke.
“What’s up?”
“Wifey’s in there kissing someone else,” she said, nodding her head towards the house.
“Ah yeah…” he said through gritted teeth, “I saw her with that other blonde girl. By the way, you’re like way hotter than her.” Ramona was too occupied with what he’d said before to think about how drunk he was. “I mean obviously not in a weird way I’m just saying brother to sister, you were so much better.”
“Wait, blonde? The girl I saw was brunette.”
Connor cocked his head to the side, his drunken brain clearly trying hard to process what had happened. Meanwhile, Ramona took another breath and exhaled laughing. After taking another drag, she said, “So she’s made out with two girls tonight. That’s so great.”
“Man, I’m sorry.”
“No that’s just — that’s great,” she said as she started to stand up and dust off her hands from the soil. She placed a hand on Connor’s shoulder and asked, “You’re good right? Like you’re not too drunk.”
“Yeah girl, I’m perfect. I’m gonna be here all night.”
“Amazing. I’m gonna go,” she said and walked back into the house.
A few minutes of searching led her to Annie and Ellis, who were sitting on a couch together. “Ellis, could you bring her home? I think I’m gonna dip.”
“What? No, why?” Annie asked with widened eyes, leaning forward and taking Ramona’s hands in hers.
“No reason, I’m just not feeling it right now.”
“Aw no,” she said, standing and leaning over to try and hug her.
Ramona put her hands on Annie’s arms and sat her back down, “I’m good I swear. I just wanna go to bed.”
“You go, I’ll bring her back,” Ellis assured her.
“Thanks man.”
She hurried out of the house, not wanting to see Oona or accidentally make eye contact with her.
When she reached the cottage, she forced herself to brush her teeth then trudged up the stairs and collapsed on her bed, not bothering to change clothes. All the while, her thoughts were consumed with Oona and those girls. At first she wondered if she was dating someone, but kissing two girls, one after another, just proved that she was back to her old ways.
She mentally punched herself for thinking that she’d be the exception, and fell asleep on a tear-stained pillow.
The following day was as close to a regular day as possible. In the afternoon, after they had all slept and eaten off their hangovers, they took the boat into the lake and started swimming. The water was beautifully clear and warm, allowing them to stay there for a while.
At one point, Ramona drifted away from everyone and floated in a star shape on the surface of the water. Her eyes were closed so as not to be blinded by the sun, and she felt her body relax.
Until she tensed again upon hearing Oona’s voice.
“Hey,” Oona said, floating closer to her.
She stopped floating and turned to face her. “Hey.” The previous night, when she was in bed, she decided to avoid her as much as possible for as long as she could, and sarcastically congratulated herself for lasting less than fifteen hours.
“How’s being back here?” she asked, cautiously.
“Good, yeah. Feels like home, so —” she drifted off.
They both remained treading water in silence until Oona asked, “Were you at the party yesterday by the way?”
“Yeah I was.” She figured the best possible thing was to play dumb. “Why, were you?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, we must have missed each other then.”
“Hmm,” she nodded.
Before any follow up questions could be asked, Ramona murmured, “I’m just gonna…” and swam towards the others, refusing to look behind her.
The next few days continued like that — stilted conversation, the occasional light hug and endless unreciprocated glances on Ramona’s end.
It made her feel horrible, and she tried to purge the feeling from her body by telling herself that there was no way Oona was thinking about her that much. Which often made her feel worse.
One morning, they were sitting at the cafe trying Sully’s moms’ new brunch menu, and Ramona was desperately trying to look in any direction except diagonally, where Oona was sitting.
In a lapse in the conversation, Connor said, “Guys we should go to the cliffs again.” He was met with excited agreements across the table and continued, “Let’s go tomorrow.”
“I can’t tomorrow,” Ramona said, “Vic’s coming in the morning.” In her peripheral vision, she saw Oona stop moving her cutlery and look up.
“Oh shit was that tomorrow?” Annie said, slapping her palm to her forehead. “I totally forgot.”
“Wait who?” Oona questioned, before taking a sip of her orange juice.
“A friend from New York. She’s coming to stay with us for a few days,” Ramona replied.
Sully’s face lit up from across the table, “What! Why didn’t you all tell us you were bringing another city dweller here?”
“Forgot, sorry,” she said, continuing to eat her bacon.
“Well I’m so excited to meet her,” they said, enthusiastically.
“She’s pretty cool,” Connor added, speaking with his mouth full, “if she wasn’t gay, like I’d —”
“Connor!” Annie said firmly, giving him a slap on the arm.
Ramona laughed and told him, “Yeah Connor, lucky for her she’s gay.” He made a mimicking face at her and went back to eating.
“Does she like swimming? You could bring her to the cliffs if she wants,” Ellis suggested.
“Yeah I’ll ask her,” Ramona said.
She tried her hardest not to read into the fact that Oona was silent for the entire exchange, watching with furrowed eyebrows. “Wait I’m sorry,” she finally said, “you invited someone here out of the blue? Like…completely without telling us? Or…”
“I meant to tell you guys it just totally slipped my mind. And also she bought the tickets months ago so…” she defended.
Sully intervened quickly and told Oona, “Babe, it’s fine. I’m sure it’ll be fun.”
“Yeah,” chimed Connor. “You’ll really like her, Oona. You love all the beautiful women and this girl is hot,” he said, emphasising the ‘h’ sound in ‘hot’, “right Rams?”
All eyes at the table suddenly turned towards Ramona, including Oona’s, and she blanked for a second. After internally shoving her brother for asking her that, she said to him, “Dude like where does all of this confidence come from? She high-key does not want you.”
The group laughed and Ramona was relieved she subverted everyone’s attention off herself. Everyone except one, who she could see was still intently looking at her whilst they all listened to Connor talking more about the cliffs.
Having finished their meals and thanked Sully’s moms, they filed outside and were all hit with the soft breeze of the late morning. They all dispersed into separate conversations as they headed back to the marina, and Oona actively placed herself next to Ramona.
“So this friend from New York,” she began to ask, “is she a friend of Connor and Annie’s?”
“No actually, I met her first. We were in line at a local cafe and some asshole pushed her shoulder as he was walking and she fell into me," she explained, smiling as she recalled the interaction.
“Oh a proper meet-cute then,” Oona said, with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “So is she hot?” she asked, without giving Ramona a chance to respond to the first part.
“Um,” she said, caught off-guard by the question.
“I can’t fully trust Connor’s judgment can I?”
“Uh, she – yeah?” she started, hesitantly.
“Yeah?” Oona said immediately after.
“I mean in a like…objectively, like in an objective way.”
“In an objective way,” Oona repeated in a sceptical, deadpan tone. When Ramona didn’t say anything else, she said, “Cool, well yeah I’m excited to meet her, man,” and patted her shoulder before jumping into the conversation going on in front of them, leaving Ramona to wander behind the group.
“Heyyy!” Vic called as she stepped off the plane and shielded her face from the wind. “I know you don’t like hugs but that’s too bad,” she said, moving forward with her arms outstretched. Ramona laughed and reciprocated the hug, feeling the tight squeeze of Vic’s arms around her.
They broke the hug so that Vic could pay and thank the pilot as he carried her suitcases onto the deck. When the plane moved away, Vic turned back and excitedly said, “This place looks amazing! Girl, this is how you live?”
“You live in one of the greatest cities in the world, you can’t be that impressed by this.”
“Shut up, it looks beautiful,” she replied, looking out at the water.
“Come inside, we’ll unpack your stuff,” Ramona said, taking one of her suitcases.
“I don’t care about unpacking, take me out on the boat,” she urged, with wide eyes and a smile.
“Okay, okay,” Ramona laughed at her excitement, “help me bring your stuff inside and then we can go.”
After they had placed the luggage inside, they quickly walked back out to the boat that was moored on the other side of the deck. Vic took a seat at the front and took a deep, open breath as they moved into the water. She caught Ramona up on her last few weeks, as she went on a family holiday just before the siblings all returned to Canada so they hadn’t seen each other in a while.
“Anyway enough about me, what’s going on up here?” Vic asked.
Ramona turned to her and deflected the question, instead asking with playfully challenging eyes, “Wanna learn how to drive this thing?”
“Absolutely,” she affirmed, standing up and joining Ramona at the wheel.
“Alright, so this is the steering wheel,” she said, firmly placing both hands near the top of the wheel, “and this is the gearstick,” pointing to the lever that was next to it. She turned to Vic with a smile. “Any questions?”
“Oh that was the whole lesson?”
“Yeah, that’s all you need,” Ramona encouraged her, taking the passenger seat and putting her feet up. “You’re smart, you got it.”
“Oh my god I’m gonna make us crash,” Vic said as she hunched over the wheel.
“Dude, we’re on an open lake, there’s literally nothing to crash into. Come on then, you’re the captain.”
Vic accelerated the boat very slightly and held the wheel tightly, meticulously turning it to steady them against the occasional small wave.
“Yeah this is great,” Ramona said as she moved her arms behind her and rested her head in her hands, “You definitely have a career transporting the elderly across this lake.”
Turning to her with an expression of mock offense, Vic argued, “If only I had a better teacher.”
“Nah, no teacher could salvage this.”
“Fuck you!” Vic said with a smile, as they both laughed.
As she looked out to the trees, Ramona felt herself melt into the feeling of comfort and safety that Vic provided, taking it as a break from the complexity of whatever else she was feeling.
“I noticed that you conveniently dodged my question earlier,” Vic observed in a more grounded voice. “How’s it going here? With Oona?”
“Shit,” Ramona told her after a sigh.
“Oh no, what happened?”
“Well, everything seemed pretty normal when I first got here, like she hugged me and told me about her mom and stuff.”
“Okay,” she followed.
“But then there was a party the night we got back and she kissed two different girls.”
Vic turned to look at her with shock and confusion written across her face. “No,” she said, incredulously.
“Yep.”
“Fuck!”
Feeling the adrenaline back in her body, she sat back up and put her feet on the floor. “Two fucking girls and it was on the night we came back!”
“Oh my god,” Vic said, matching Ramona’s frustrated tone.
“Like what is that?”
“Girl, I don’t know. I’m sorry,” she sighed with pity filling her features.
“It’s okay,” she conceded, “I probably should’ve seen it coming.”
“Yeah but still…”
“I guess there was some lame part of me that hoped she was waiting for me. Which is fucking stupid because she’s the one who dumped me but you know,” she trailed off.
“What do you think you’ll do then?”
“I don’t know, avoid her for a bit until the feeling settles.” Ramona looked up to see Vic’s doubtful stare, and asserted, “Yeah, it’s not a good plan. I’m still brainstorming.”
“Maybe you should talk to her.”
“And say what?”
Vic shrugged, “Just let the words flow.”
“Do you even know me?” Ramona said, making Vic chuckle.
“Okay but whatever you do, you can’t avoid her,” she said definitively. It was true and Ramona knew it – if they were to spend the summer together she’d have to put her emotions to the side, as she had done before. “No way, here they are!” she heard Vic exclaim.
Her head shot up to see Ellis’ boat about a hundred and fifty feet away from them, and she panicked realising that the whole group was with him.
“Let’s go towards them!” Vic said, joyfully, steering the wheel in their direction.
“Give me the wheel,” Ramona instructed, trying to nudge Vic to the side.
In return, Vic pushed her back and contested, “No, I’m the captain, remember?”
“No seriously, I don’t wanna talk to them,” she said under her breath.
Vic stopped the gentle pushing back and forth and turned her body to face Ramona, gently lowering her voice. “They’ve already seen us, they’re gonna come over here. If you actually don’t wanna talk to them I can make up some excuse about needing to go back but I think it’ll be good for you.”
After a second of maintaining intense eye contact whilst Ramona deliberated her options, she slouched back into the passenger seat and said, “Fine.”
Fuck, Oona thought, this girl was hot.
From her seat on the boat, she could just about see the two girls in the near distance, who looked like they were fighting over the wheel, until they stopped to stare at each other before Ramona sat down. She was desperate to hear the conversation and to know what made them stand so close to each other in the first place.
As Ellis started to steer the boat towards them, Oona was tilting her head to have a better view of their new guest. Her auburn hair cascaded in waves just beyond her shoulders, flying in the air from the occasional breeze. She wore a black tank top with a white mini skirt and her arms were lined with gold bracelets. Oona thought she looked much more feminine than the girls she’d have expected Ramona to hang out with, and then questioned why she had an image of those girls at all.
The boats came side by side and both drivers set them into neutral so they stopped next to each other. They all stood up and Oona cleared her throat, subconsciously adjusting her hair before turning to face the others.
Annie initiated the conversation by warmly saying, “Hey Vic, welcome to the island.”
“Thanks, it’s so good to see you again!” the guest replied, smiling. “Hey Connor,” she added, nodding her head to him.
Ramona stepped in the space next to her and introduced everyone, pointing to each person as she did so. “Uh so, Vic this is Ellis, Sully and Oona.”
She didn’t know if she imagined it but Oona heard Ramona pause for a split second before introducing her, and Vic’s eyes stayed on hers for a moment longer than the others. A strange emotion washed over her that she’d hardly experienced before, almost as though she felt unsteady or smaller than she was.
“It’s really cool to meet you guys, Ramona’s told me a lot about you,” Vic said.
Before she could control herself, Oona impulsively replied, “Wish we could say the same for you, babe,” maintaining a light, casual tone, “You’re a mystery to us. We didn’t even know you were coming till yesterday.”
“Oona,” Ramona warned, a serious expression on her face.
Oona’s eyes flicked down to see Ramona’s arm being gently pushed back by Vic’s hand, as she said, “Well I’m excited to hang out with you all.”
The rest of the short conversation blurred into the back of her mind whilst she watched these two girls interact, jokingly nudging each other and Vic leaning her arm on Ramona’s shoulder. The latter was never one to initiate physical touch, that sense of closeness from her was previously only reserved for Oona herself, and a new sensation churned in her stomach as she was taken by surprise at the ease with which they could be in each other’s personal space.
Somewhere in between her thoughts the group decided to head to the usual rocks to swim, realising that the cliffs would require two cars with so many people. She floated back to her seat at the back of the boat, not feeling in control of her body, and tried to shake the weirdness out of it.
Connor sat on the seat next to her and lit a joint, which he handed to her after a few drags. She took it willingly and looked out at the other boat, where she saw Ramona and Vic almost falling to the floor in laughter and a feeling of annoyance flashed inside her. When she made sure they were out of earshot, she rotated and leaned towards Connor. “What’s the deal with them two?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, taking back the joint.
“Like — when did they meet, how close are they, I dunno that stuff,” she said, cringing at how bad she was at acting nonchalantly. She was usually the master at acting, she didn’t know what was happening to her.
“They met in November I think, a couple months after she moved in. They don’t go to school together though but they spent a good amount of time together,” Connor answered. “Why?” he asked, smirking.
“Nah, I’m just curious,” she shrugged, thankful that her nonchalance returned, at least on the outside. She swallowed hard to get rid of the emotions bubbling in her throat and snatched back the joint from Connor’s hands leaning back against the chair so she was almost lying down.
They arrived and the rocks were decorated by an array of coloured towels as everyone sat and lay down in a somewhat circular formation. Oona did her best to ignore how Ramona and Vic wordlessly agreed to sit next to each other, instead choosing to believe it was down to efficiency because they were already standing close together. She pushed down the burning feeling in her body that felt ten times the power of the sun on her skin.
“Vic, have you lived in New York all your life?” Ellis asked whilst he put sunscreen on Annie’s shoulders.
“Yeah. I was born in Brooklyn but we moved to Manhattan when I was about eleven for my dad’s job.”
“What does he do?”
“He’s in finance.”
“Yuck,” Sully interjected, giving everyone a laugh, “Sorry to your dad but — ”
“No please it’s fine, finance is the most boring shit on Earth,” she said.
Oona was leaning back on her hands as she watched them talk. She had to restrain a scoff at the mention of finance, and she wondered how rich the girl’s family was. She saw it as another reason to be suspicious of her, on Ramona’s behalf, of course.
“Wait, I know someone from Brooklyn,” Sully said.
“No babe,” Oona said with a laugh, “you know someone who knows someone whose cousin lives in Brooklyn.”
“Same thing,” they shot back before looking at Vic again. “Where did you live?”
“Bensonhurst.”
“Oh, that’s Little Italy, right?”
“Yeah, I’m part Italian,” she answered, causing a ripple of fascinated sounds from the group.
Oona, clearly less impressed, questioned, “But are you one of those pretentious Americans who claim Italian ancestry even when their ancestors came in the nineteenth century?” If her eyes weren’t fixed on Vic, she would’ve noticed the glare of objection that Ramona shot her.
“Uh, I wouldn’t say so,” she said, smiling, “My grandparents moved here in the seventies with my dad.”
Great, now I look like a dick, Oona thought, nodding and looking down. She considered how interesting it was to have lived in Little Italy with an immigrant family, and then to spend the teenage years in Manhattan, and wondered if Ramona was drawn to that sort of story. Resentment started to fill her bones when she compared herself to Vic, thinking that her story was even more interesting because she was the one who had lived all over the world.
She led herself to the conclusion that if Ramona wanted that kind of intrigue, she would be the best to provide it, and the thoughts manifested through unknowingly staring daggers at Vic.
A while later in the conversation, Ellis offered Vic his joint which she declined, saying that she doesn’t smoke.
“Why?” Oona immediately asked. “Do you have some kind of moral objection to it?” Her tone conveyed less of a genuine question and more of a judgement, and to her dismay, Vic seemed unphased by it.
“Honestly, I just don’t like the taste.”
Again, she resigned from the conversation before she could embarrass herself further by humming in response and looking out at the landscape, taking a drag from her own cigarette.
After a while, when the sun started to set, the group decided to pack up and head back home. They pulled on t-shirts over skin which had dried and tanned in the sun and stumbled back to the bottom of the rocks where the boats were waiting.
“Hey one sec,” Ramona called when everyone else had gone down. Oona turned around and took a step towards her. “Why were you being such a bitch to her?” she accused.
“Sorry?” Oona asked, surprised at her bluntness.
“Like what the fuck was that? Asking if she was pretentious and judging her for not smoking and staring at her so weirdly the whole time.”
“Babe, I was just asking her questions. I thought you wanted us to get to know her,” she replied, trying to maintain her effortlessly relaxed guise.
“Stop calling me that and don’t lie. You were practically interrogating her, for what?” Ramona asked, raising her voice.
“Hey cut me some slack okay? I thought this summer was gonna be normal and chill and then you bring this random girl here who we’ve never met…”
“She’s not a random girl and I brought her here because I wanted to show her my home. And I wanted you guys to meet her.”
“Right, yeah okay,” Oona muttered, dismissively.
“The fuck is your problem?” she practically shouted. “How is this any different to when you used to bring girls to our parties and hangouts.”
Hearing that, Oona stepped backwards and furrowed her eyebrows. “Oh so...you’re comparing me bringing my dates to you bringing this girl here? Is that what’s happening?” She felt her heart rate speed up and couldn’t name the emotion in her head. It was fear intertwined with something else, and she tried not to let the urgency that her brain was feeling infiltrate her voice.
Ramona threw her arms in the air in exasperation. “Well it’s basically the same thing isn’t it?”
“No it’s actually not if —”
“I don’t get you. Like, I have nothing to say about you kissing two girls on the same night but the second I bring someone here…”
Oona’s eyeline shot back up to meet Ramona’s and her breath froze in her lungs. “Fuck, I didn’t think you saw that. You told me you didn’t see me at that party.”
“Yeah well I did.”
“I swear that wasn’t…”
“Don’t. Don’t treat me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like a clueless fucking kid because I’m not.”
Shaking her head in confusion, she said, “I don’t see you that way.”
“Obviously you do if you think I’d buy the ‘it’s not what it looked like’ line.” Both girls exhaled sharply and Oona crossed her arms in front of her body as they both held each other’s equally intense gaze. “And also who are you to pass judgement on Vic when I didn’t hear from you all goddamn year?”
“Okay, but to be fair I didn’t hear from you either.”
Ramona huffed and the disbelief displayed itself in her wide eyes and lifted brows. “You know I’ve never dated anyone before — I don’t know the rules! Sorry for not sending my ex who dumped me a postcard of the fucking statue of liberty!”
The way she emphasised ‘ex’ and ‘dumped’ made Oona physically recoil at the memory, and her face hardened to cover the weakness she felt. She could feel her breaths quicken and realised that she didn’t have anything else to argue against that. “Whatever,” she mumbled, looking at the ground.
“Yeah, whatever,” Ramona echoed.
They stood in silence for some time, waiting to see if the other was going to say something more. When it became clear that the conversation was over, they both made their way back down to the boats without so much as a glance as their eyes remained glued to the rocks below them.
On the way to the marina, Oona was sitting slouched back in her usual chair with her eyes closed, feeling the air breeze past her face from the fast movement of the boat. She kept them tightly shut to expel the water that was forming behind her eyelids, refusing to cry especially with other people around.
Behind her eyes, thoughts were flashing every second as she tried to reason through what had happened. Rationally, she knew her hostility towards Vic was unwarranted, especially because she knew she had no right to an opinion on who Ramona hung out with, but the jealousy still managed to rear its grotesque head where it didn’t belong, and it brought out a side of her that she detested.