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Jason thinks it is strange to be here, in Arizona, far from home. Far from the pack that used to be his world, the territory that sheltered him. It should unsettle him. Make him feel unmoored. All he feels is relief.
Some of the packs around have made him offers. A lone wolf does not have to be alone. That is the case for true wolves and werewolves alike. He has incidentally taken them up on them. Their communities allowed him to have a safe place to sleep and rest when the week of the new moon forces him onto two legs and he is grateful for it.
He is also glad that none offer him pity. Just shelter. A promise that they'll help him re-integrate if he wants. Bruce wouldn't have allowed him the choice not to. That might be one of the reasons he doesn't, just to revel in getting to choose without judgment. That would have been that, if not for that forest ranger.
He used to spend as little time as he could in the shape of a man. Except there is no reason a human man would smile as fondly on a Mexican wolf as he would a Mexican hiker now would he?
Not that Roy isn't kind to his wolf self — not that Roy would probably know that it is the same individual that he keeps running into. He is just always so immeasurably kind to wolf and man alike. He is the one that encouraged Jason's rusty flirting into something a bit more meaningful.
Roy is worth it. Worth confronting the feelings Jason had tried to distance himself from by literally distancing himself from a part of his self. If Jason didn't work on being human shaped Roy certainly wouldn't look at him like that, nor invite him inside for coffee and a lot more than coffee besides.
Jason doesn't deserve him, but Roy refuses to hear that. So Jason tries again. For the first time in… too long. It is all he can do. Even so he can't help his flimsy excuses whenever he has to fuck off for the full moon. But Roy… gives him this look that Jason hasn't figured out yet that is nonetheless fond and lets him go. When Jason comes back a few days later Roy acts like nothing unusual happened.
They settle in this routine and it works. It works. Jason is gluing himself together again bit by bit and he starts believing that he might, one day, feel at home in his own skin again.
But then Roy asks Jason if he could, perhaps, stay with a friend for a few days.
"Truly just a few days, Jaybird. I hadn't expected Wally to drop by and he told me he would need to leave by the 5th for the next leg of his road trip."
Jason agrees, because Roy rarely asks him for anything and Jason has little else to offer him anyway. That does not mean he completely fucks off. Because well, Roy does live in a forest doesn't he. It's not a proper territory, but the area surrounding Roy's cabin, the visitor station he does shifts at and the trails he hikes when he's doing monitoring are all Jason's.
None of the local packs begrudged him that. Though that might have actually been pity. Maybe an attempt to get him just a little closer to signing up as an official satellite member. Either or.
Pity or not, Jason patrols. He has a pack member to defend and a territory that is his and/or of the people who might one day be his pack.
Jason isn't jealous, but he might be a little miffed that he was kicked out. Even so he doesn't want anything to befall Wally and he doesn't want to interrupt Roy's time with his friend. Jason follows Wally's car long enough to confirm that he made it safely up the path without any trouble and then leaves again.
He'll get that not-jealous energy out of his system running through the woods.
Despite the fact that the lovely crescent in the sky allows him to remain a wolf if he wants to, he does stay with the Welland-Schafers of the Yazzie-Silva pack that night. He only has to tolerate two jokes about him being in the dog house, which is a fair price to pay for a warm meal and a soft bed.
Jason channels his restless urge to go check on his pack member — all alone with a stranger in his relatively remote cabin — into roughhousing with Conall and Marie's pups Cúán and Úna. He's a strong guy and they find it endlessly amusing to use him as a jungle gym and puppy catapult and their parents appreciate the toddler-free hour.
Even so, he eventually returns to the cabin. There are two cars on the driveway, but no signs of life. It almost worries him, but when Jason peeks through the windows he sees Roy's hiking boots are missing. Right. He should've known.
Jason knows Roy's favorite spots well enough to quickly track the two of them. Now that they're out in the woods Jason makes sure to follow.
He tells himself that it's because that one black bear that is a total dick and isn't scared of humans the way he should be. Jason obviously is here to keep that guy away from Roy and Wally and totally not because he wants to be close to Roy.
He's pretty sure he's been spotted, but that should be fine. Who can tell him apart from one of the native true wolves?
"So when were you going to tell us you had a boyfriend."
Good question Wally. Jason feels a little hurt to learn that. He had been told about all of Roy's college friends after all.
Roy sighs. "Ideally? In a few months and only after talking with him about it. You are all nosey as fuck and he is a huge introvert. I don't want you assholes scaring him off."
Fine. Sure. Jason supposes that he is probably easily scared off.
"What?" Wally apparently can't find himself in that assessment. "We are totally cool and I promise you none of us would be dicks about him being a w—"
Roy cuts him off. "I know you wouldn't deliberately be a dick about someone being introverted. I am fully aware we have introvert friends. But there is gradations to these things and you gotta trust me about this one Wals."
Jason feels like he is missing something here. It doesn't matter. He runs a little ahead of Roy and Wally on the trail. There is no sign of that guy, luckily, and after Jason drags two fallen branches off of the path it seems otherwise clear.
The conversation hasn't died down by the time he circles back to his favorite hiker and also Wally.
"I'm just saying that-" he suddenly cuts himself off and looks at Jason. He should not have been able to spot him. "Look Roy, a wolf," he says in a sing-song voice, "what a strange coincidence."
Jason is definitely missing something.
Roy sighs. "Yeah. Yeah."
Wally looks at Roy intently and makes a few hand gestures. To which Roy just rolls his eyes before he takes a deep breath. Like he is steeling himself for something.
"Welcome back, Jaybird."
The fuck.
Jason hears himself whine before he is aware that he is doing it. His ears are folded all the way back against his neck and he's slowly walking backwards, teeth exposed.
Roy was supposed to be safe.
"No wait. Just. Please Jaybird. I can explain. I'd much rather do so face to face, if you'll allow me," he pleads.
Jason pointedly glances at Wally. Obviously enough that Roy should read it.
"He'll stay right here. The two of us will walk a little up the trail. Please."
Making connections was a mistake. Roy was a mistake. But even that conviction isn't enough to make Jason flee again. He… he does want to know Roy's reasons to lie to him. He wanted to be loved this once. If Roy was playing with him, because he could, he wants him to hurt Jason so badly that he never makes the mistake to care ever again.
Though, even is Roy is a dick the Yazzie-Silva pack has his back. Jason can easily beat Roy and Wally to Roy's cabin, grab the few things he has there and high tail it back to Conall and Marie. They'll help him. The pack will help him. Surely.
Jason doesn't think he can survive alone anymore. He wasn't supposed to.
Roy tentatively starts walking up the trail, like he indicated, and Jason follows. Roy looks back at him every few yards as if he's afraid that Jason is going to flee. Though, to be fair, the Jason of a few months ago would have fled.
The second he's sure that he's out of Wally's field of view and range of hearing he turns back to a man. He has never been this glad that they keep their clothes when they transform, because this is not the sort of conversation he wants to have with his dick out.
Jason crosses his arms and squints at Roy, who does look contrite. "Explain," he demands.
"One of my high school friends is a werewolf too," Roy starts. "That is how I got to be in the know about werewolves. When I came back from New York and started my job as a Forest Ranger I could tell, I mean there is a mixed pack of several subspecies that is mostly seen around the full moons. It's not hard if you know what to look for."
He's fidgeting, but Jason gives him nothing. Though he also doesn't know what he thinks about all this yet either. Roy continues, "Pack leadership knows I know and I'm not the only ranger in the know. Me and my colleagues make sure that nobody looks too closely at the weird pack around here and if the pack notices anything odd while out on runs they then tell us and we make up a plausible story to explain the findings away."
Roy glances at Jason and then winces under whatever he sees in his face.
"I really wanted to tell you earlier, I promise. But you were so scared and vulnerable at first that I was scared you'd run away if a detail like that was out of your own control. But then later on it felt scary because by then I had been keeping that I knew from you for months and— and Wally rightfully told me off for not telling you." He sighs. "I am sorry. I should not have kept this from you. I should not have made choices for you. I hope you can forgive me."
Jason lets the silence fall for a second. Partially because he needs the moment to think and partially because he wants to see Roy sweat for a second.
"I am not going to lie. I'm scared and hurt and angry," Jason starts. Roy looks dejected, but he's not jumped to begging. He respects Jason's choices like he always does. That respect is one of the things that is saving his ass. "I don't think we are over, not unless you want to be, but I need to process all this. I understand why you did it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less yet. So regardless of Wally leaving I'm gonna stay with Conall and Marie till the end of the week at least."
The relief is evident in Roy's posture. "I understand. Please call me anytime if you want to talk or if you need anything from home."
Jason nods. "I'm gonna go. Just. Be safe. Please."
Marie does have a really nice big hug ready for him when Jason comes back. As does the rest of the pack when Jason formalizes his intent to join officially. Shared stories from other wolves about the awkwardness of coming out as a werewolf help. Acknowledging that Roy was right — Jason at his worst would have bolted — and that Jason still has the right to feel like shit over it helps. Big tubs of chocolate ice cream — because having a human liver rules — and rom-coms help too.
He has three several hour long phone conversations with Roy before the week is out.
They'll be alright. They will be because Jason will be alright. Because he has a pack now. A real one. One that chose him when he was at his worst.
Roy chose him when he was at his worst. Jason chose him back. Even though he isn't perfect either. They can be imperfect but happy together.