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The field stretches to infinity beneath a honey-and-lavender sky. The daisies swaying in a breeze that smells of summer. Wonyoung knows this place. She has been here before, though she can never quite remember when she leaves. Her head rests on something soft and warm, and fingers trail through her hair, slow and reverent like she's something precious.
"You're thinking too loud" a voice says, and Wonyoung feels the vibration of it through the other girls chest "What's on your mind?"
Wonyoung turns her head, just enough to look up. The blonde hair catches the fading light like spun gold, and those kind eyes gaze down at her with an intensity that makes her breath catch from the strange, familiarity of it, as if she's stared into this face a thousand times before and still isn't used to it.
"I don't know" Wonyoung whispers. It's the truth. She never knows, not really. Everything feels hazy around the edges like trying to remember a song you've only heard once in a dream "I feel like I'm forgetting something important."
The girl smiles, but there's something sad in it, something that makes Wonyoungs chest ache with a weight she can't place.
"You always say that"
"Always?"
"Every time" The blondes hand continues its path through Wonyoungs hair, gentle and unhurried as though she's memorizing the texture of each strand. "You come here and you forget, and you ask the same questions. I don't mind. It's still nice to see you."
Wonyoung sits up slowly, not wanting to break the spell. The field spins around them and as she hears the whistle of wind through the grass, she catches the faint humming of a melody she almost recognizes like a lullaby from another life.
"You're humming."
"Huh?" The girl blinks, then laughs softly. "Apparently I do that"
"you always do"
"see? You remember"
Wonyoung frowns, the crease between her brows deepening. "I don't..." She didn't know what the girl meant by 'remember' but she still answered, feeling like this was what she was supposed to say.
The girl smiles at her in a way that suggests she's heard that before too. Her eyes soften as she tilts her head slightly.
"I know"
For some reason Wonyoung doesnt find the answer strange. Nothing about this place feels strange really. The sky is too beautiful, the field too endless, and the girl sitting beside her is someone Wonyoung knows she has never met, yet there is no instinct telling her to be afraid. If anything, being beside her feels like returning to a home she'd forgotten she had. A home she had longed for her whole life without ever knowing its shape.
The girl reaches over and picks a small flower from beside Wonyoungs knee, turning the stem between her fingers with careful deliberation before tucking it behind Wonyoungs ear. Her knuckles brush against Wonyoungs temple.
"There"
"What?"
"You look better with flowers" She chuckles slightly, but there's a tenderness underneath it that makes Wonyoungs heart stutter.
It felt like heaven to Wonyoung's ears. She touches the daisy, her fingers tracing its soft petals as if grounding herself.
"Do you do this every time?"
The girl laughs "No...Usually you complain"
"I do not."
"You do."
"I wouldn't." Why would she? Wonyoung thought, but even as she thought it, a flicker of doubt crossed her mind...maybe she had complained, maybe she did that every time too, and that thought made her strangely sad.
"You always say they make you look silly."
Wonyoung looks at her suspiciously, flashing a playful squint that softens as she takes in the girls patient expression. "Why do you know me so well?"
The girl shrugs, her eyes dropping back to the flower in her hand, and for a moment she seems to withdraw into herself, tracing the stem with her thumb. "You tell me things..."
"When?"
"Here."
That answer is enough. Wonyoung doesn't question it any further. She lets herself settle back beside the girl, their shoulders touching and she feels the subtle warmth of that contact seep through her sleeve. They watch the flowers move with the breeze.
For a while, they talk about nothing important. The girl tells her about a song she's been trying to write, although she admits she's been stuck on the same part. "But it doesn't really matter because I can't actually finish it"
"You cant?" Wonyoung asks as she turns her head toward her, catching the flicker of sadness that crosses the girls face "Then write something else and if you're stuck again just do the same again"
"You want me to just leave them all unfinished?"
"If thats what will happen, then I guess so"
"You're terrible at this" The girl laughs softly
"At what?"
"giving advice... but I don't expect you to understand" She flashes an understanding smile, one that says I know you can't help it.
"I may not understand but I don't think my advice is that horrible" she said in a playful manner, nudging the girls shoulder with her own.
"Trust me, I have heard a lot of your advice already"
"Really?"
"Mhm"
Wonyoung smiles. For some reason she likes hearing that...the way the girl remembers things she doesn't. "What kind of music do you want to make?" she asks, genuinely curious now.
The girl's expression changes, becoming quieter as she thinks. Her gaze drifts to the horizon, and she chews her lower lip, weighing something. "I don't know exactly."
"That's not an answer"
"I know"
"You're copying me" Wonyoung said, a teasing lilt in her voice.
"Maybe"
The girl looks down at her hands, turning them over as if searching for the right words written on her palms. "I just want to make something that feels like me"
Wonyoung watches her, taking in the breathtaking sight. The way the golden light catches her profile, the small furrow between her brows. "That sounds difficult."
"It is."
"Then why do it?"
The girl glances at her, and for a moment their eyes hold. "Because I think that's the only way to feel like my own person"
There is something about the way she says it that makes Wonyoung remember the strange sadness in her eyes from earlier. She feels it echo in her own chest. "Do you want to leave?"
The girl looks surprised, her eyebrows lifting slightly. "Where did that come from?"
"I don't know." And she truly doesn't
She laughs quietly, a breath of sound. "See? You remember."
"I don't " again Wonyoung doesn't know what she meant by this, but she feels the truth of it somewhere deep like a knot she can't untie.
"You don't have to."
The girl looks toward the horizon, where the sky bleeds from lavender into deeper violet. "I do want to leave everything behind sometimes"
"Everything?"
"Mhm"
"Why?"
The girl takes a moment before answering, and in that silence the wind seems to hold its breath. "I feel like— I don't think I belong where I am"
Wonyoung doesn't ask where that is or where she would want to be instead. She doesn't know why, but the question feels too personal, too close to something fragile. Instead she reaches over and takes the girls hand, fitting against her own like a missing piece. The girl looks down at their fingers and smiles.
"You always do that"
"What?"
"Hold my hand when I say things like that"
Wonyoung looks at their hands, at how naturally they intertwine. "Maybe you need it"
The girl squeezes her fingers, a gentle pressure that says more than words. "Maybe I do.... If you could leave everything behind, would you?"
Wonyoung thinks about it "Maybe"
"Where would you go?"
"I don't know."
The girl laughs "You're becoming me."
"Maybe I'm learning."
The girl looks at her for a moment, her expression unreadable. "I'd go somewhere quiet" she said, as if testing the thought out loud.
"Would you go alone?" Wonyoung asks curiously, her thumb tracing a small circle on the back of her hand.
"I don't think so."
"Who would you take?"
Wonyoung looks at her, and the question hangs between them, heavy with unspoken things.
"You, of course" the blonde says as if it were the most obvious answer ever and she says it so simply that Wonyoung feels her throat tighten.
Wonyoung doesn't understand why she suddenly seems sad "You look sad" she blurted out, the words escaping before she could stop them.
"I know."
"Why?"
The girl smiles faintly "Because you always have to leave."
Wonyoung frowns, a crease forming between her brows. "Why do you say that?"
"Because it's true"
The wind picks up around them, pushing the flowers in one direction before settling again. Wonyoung watches the movement, the way the petals bend and recover, and she feels a strange echo of that motion in her own chest. "Is it always this windy?"
The girl smiles, but her eyes are sad. "Only when you're about to leave"
Wonyoung looks at her, a flutter of panic stirring in her stomach. "What?"
The girl stared into the distance, not responding, her jaw tight as if holding back something.
"Leave where?"
"You always forget."
Wonyoung laughs, slightly embarrassed, but it's a hollow sound. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"I know." She doesn't seem upset. If anything, she seems accustomed to it, like someone watching the same storm roll in every year. "You're going to wake up soon"
"Am I?"
"Mhm"
Wonyoung looks around the field as though she might be able to see the end of the dream somewhere, a crack in the sky where reality seeps through. She feels a pit in her stomach "How do you know?"
"You get quiet."
"I wasn't talking."
"Exactly"
Wonyoung laughs, but it catches in her throat. Then she lifts Wonyoungs hand and presses her thumb gently over the back of it, a slow motion as if imprinting the gesture into memory "I'll wait"
Wonyoung looks at her, searching her face for answers. "For what?"
The girl gives her a small smile, one that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "For you."
"At least tell me your name."
The blonde knew it wouldn't make a difference if she did or not. Wonyoung was not going to remember her. But she paused, and something flickered in her gaze "Jiwon" she said quietly but loud enough for Wonyoung to pick up
"Jiwon..." It felt like sugar melting on her tongue as Wonyoung recited it, the syllables strange yet familiar, as if she'd spoken them before. "Are you perhaps always waiting for me Jiwon?" She suddenly spoke, feeling like she already knows the answer.
"You haven't asked me this one yet" Jiwon chuckled "I am always waiting."
"Why?"
But before Wonyoung could get an answer, the sound of her alarm broke through the field . It took her a moment to realize what she was hearing.
The humming was gone. So was the wind, the flowers, the warmth beneath her cheek. Wonyoung opened her eyes slowly staring at the ceiling as the alarm continued ringing beside her. She reached for it without thinking and shut it off but even after the room fell quiet she stayed where she was, her hand still outstretched, trying to hold on to whatever had just slipped away.
There had been someone with her. She knew that much.
Wonyoung closed her eyes again, searching for the girl's face but it was already disappearing. She could remember blonde hair she thought, and a voice that had sounded familiar in a way she couldn't explain. She remembered holding someone's hand, remembered the strange certainty that she had promised to come back.
But why?
She couldn't remember.
A few seconds later, even the memory of the field began to fade, leaving behind only the feeling of having been somewhere she wanted to stay, leaving a hole in her chest.
Her eyes opened again.
Wonyoung frowned and wiped at her cheek only then realizing that she was crying. Her tears streaming silently without her permission.
She had no idea why.