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The lot was silent, save for the crickets and bugs and whatever other things were out making noise. Johnny sat against the broken car they always leaned against, staring at the sky.
He felt weird. Empty, almost, as they stared at the orange and yellows, soon to be blacks and blues. Their jacket was tight around himself, squeezing around his sides and arms more than it already had since it was small. He found comfort in it, the way the fabric was tight around him. It gave him a sense of safeness.
Everything felt off. He didn't feel like themself. He was at the store with Dallas and Ponyboy the other day, and someone called him 'ma'am,' because of his hair. His hair that was long, down to his shoulders. They got a weird feeling about it. He sort of responded in a confused way and said 'okay,' drawing out the o. Ponyboy had asked them what was wrong and if that was okay, and he shrugged. Dallas didn't say anything about it, just hit him on the head with licorice when he didn't move.
A noise outside of the lot, like someone walking through grass startled Johnny. They nervously looked over, eyes wide, straight spine.
"Johnny, cool it, 's just me."
Johnny exhaled when he saw it was Ponyboy, actually wearing a jacket instead of how he'd normally just… not. "When you're alone in a parking lot 'n' it's late, everything is scary. Hi, Pony."
Ponyboy smiled and walked over, sitting down beside him. "Hey, Johnnycakes. I missed the sunset comin' over here."
"That's alright. It was like the same thing every night."
"But they're all pretty."
Johnny hummed and shook his head. "I guess." He leaned back. "Why'd you come here?"
"Just wanted to see the sunset 'n' talk to you," Ponyboy stated, pulling a piece of grass out of the ground and fidgeting with it.
"That… the full thing?"
"'N' almost everyone's at home."
Johnny grinned. "Knew there was an and!"
"Oh, shut up!" Ponyboy bumped his shoulder against theirs.
The older laughed and ended it with a sigh, looking back at the sky. The younger smiled and leaned on them, head on his shoulder. They sat like that for a little while, not talking, because they didn't need to. They understood each other without needing to say anything, they were quiet and comfortable with each other.
Johnny's thoughts came back. "Pone?" He suddenly spoke up.
Ponyboy looked at him, eyes soft. "Mmm?"
"D'ya know how that lady called me ma'am at the store?"
"Yeah." A pause. "What 'bout it?"
Johnny fidgeted then shook his head after a moment of hesitance. "Nevermind. Just wanted to bring it up," he muttered.
Ponyboy sat up and looked at them, putting down the piece of grass. "You can tell me stuff, Johnny."
Johnny. They inhaled. "I… I don't know, it's a funky thing."
"Groovy or funky?"
"Funky. The weird kind."
"I can deal with weird kind of funky." Ponyboy raised his eyebrows when he recieved a doubtful look. "Don't doubt me. C'mon—" he moved away a little to create a bit of space and sat up straight— "here, tell me. I'm listenin'. Or if you don't wanna— am I pressuring you? I'll shut my trap if I am."
Johnny looked at him and smiled just a little. "You ain't. 'S kinda hard to explain, uhm…" he hesitated, squeezing their jacket around themself more. His ribs felt like they were being squeezed. "D'ya ever feel like you're nothin'? Like— just— you ain't yourself. You ain't a guy, ain't a broad, just… nothin'. Still a greaser, just feel like a person that's tryin' to exist," they laughed in a slightly self deprecatingly way, "does that make sense? I don't know, 's like what some of those ladies that Dal talk 'bout, cross-dressers, but I ain't that! I don't feel like a guy, not a girl either. Just somethin' in between. You… savvy at all?"
Ponyboy stared at him and tilted his head, trying not to look too confused. "I… uh… yeah, sure. Think I do?" He laughed awkwardly. He got a dissapointed stare. "No, no— I support you, I just don't really understand it all that well. If it helps, you ain't nothin' to me, you're still something."
"Thank you."
"Are you still Johnny?"
Johnny laughed shortly, the hold on his jacket loosening. "Yeah, 'course I am. I'd let you know if it changed."
Ponyboy nodded. "Thanks for tellin' me. Anythin' else?"
"I don't think so, but you're the first person I've told."
The younger's eyes widened and he raised his eyebrows. "Really?! You trust me with— glory! Wow!"
The older tilted their head. "Calm down, don't let it inflate your ego."
"Right, sorry, you ain't told Dally yet!?"
"Feel like he might choke me out for sayin' I might be a—" Johnny hesitated, his eyes watering, "a transsexual."
Ponyboy frowned. "You don't gotta tell him. I can keep a secret."
Johnny gave him a thumbs up and then immediately got wrapped up in a hug. They paused before wrapping his arms around the other with a smile. "Thanks for listenin', Pone," he whispered into his shoulder.
"'Course, Johnnycakes. Y'know, it makes you cooler," Ponyboy admitted, squeezing him once before pulling away, settling back down beside them.
"Does it?"
"Mhm. Are you goin' to sleep all night out here?"
Johnny sighed, thinking about his parents arguing again, which caused him to bolt. "Maybe. I don't know."
Ponyboy nodded. "Okay. I'll stay out here with you for a bit longer," he said as he leaned against them.
"Thanks."
"Of course."
They sat like that for the next thirty minutes until the younger fell asleep against the older's shoulder. There weren't any negative comments, just a few questions and talking casually.
Johnny was glad he wasn't treated any different. It was the same as Ponyboy always treated them, even after telling him that.
It was a lovely thing to know, that he had a supportive person on their side.