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"D'you think people find it weird?" Felix asked, sitting on the floor next to Seungmin.
"What?" Seungmin replied, holding out the cup of tea to him.
"Us."
The balcony's floor was very cold at this time, at this season. The wind mirrored the temperature, blowing gently, now and then ruffling a few strands of hair and making the leaves of the jiboia tree dance.
"Why?" He took a sip of the coffee, which was already lukewarm.
Felix tapped the tips of his fingernails against the porcelain. He looked beyond the glass railing and spotted the few stars that could be seen through the glow of the urban center.
"I don't know," he said simply. "Sometimes," he hesitated, "even I find it weird." He took his first sip of hibiscus tea and regretted it. He should've blown on it a little beforehand.
Seungmin rested his head against the wall where his back was already leaning, and tilted it to the side, looking at him. He didn't need to say anything.
"We're not really friends, are we?" Felix said, setting the cup down beside him and bringing his knees together to rest his arms on them.
Seungmin stared at his face, lit only by the moonlight — and the lights from the neighbouring building. He contemplated counting, for the nth time, the freckles that decorated his cheeks, but then he'd lose himself in the task. He didn't know exactly where Felix wanted to take the conversation, but he wanted to be present in every moment.
Felix took a breathe of air and let it out, tucking his fringe behind his ear.
"Hyunjin..."
"That fella from you anatomy class?"
"Yeah. He asked if I'm single."
Seungmin blinked twice before lowering his gaze to the patch of tiles between them. He felt his mouth go dry, but swallowed his saliva anyway. He could still see Felix picking at the cuticle of his thumb.
"And what did you say?"
"Didn't answer him. 'Was a text message."
Seungmin nodded slightly, his mouth moistening again.
"Haven't opened it yet. It was right after class."
"And why haven't you replied?"
"Because I don't know."
Seungmin looked up again, meeting Felix's eyes, which were already staring at him.
"I don't know if I'm single."
The wind made a point of stopping its whistling, and Seungmin could hear Felix's ragged breathing as he tried to hold back his tears. Seungmin placed his hand flat on the floor tiles between them, his fingers hesitant, wanting to gather Felix's hand but not quite doing so.
"We go to a party, and we kiss. I go back to yours, and we sleep together," he bit the inside of his cheeks. "Half my closet is already filled with your stuff. Sometimes your mom calls me to check on me. This mug," he nods towards the coffee mug, "is already your mug. But when we get to uni, our hands pull apart."
Felix looks at Seungmin's hand, which withdraws even further, and lets out a little sigh through his nose.
"Isn't it weird? That I don't know how to answer a single question that's supposed to be so simple?"
Silence.
"I think so," Felix completed.
Seungmin drank the remainder of his coffee and set the mug aside. He adjusted his posture and position, facing him, with the side of his body leaning on the wall.
"What if the question was asked differently?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you want to be single?"
Felix dropped his legs to one side and turned his torso towards him.
"And would my answer change anything?"
"Of course it would."
"And what if I don't want to?"
"You don't want it to change?"
"No, that's not it," he ran his hand through his hair. "What if I don't wanna be single?"
"Then you're not."
The sound of a nearby television, likely from the neighbour downstairs, mingled with the background noise. Perhaps it was the opening of the evening news, but that didn't really matter at the moment.
"Is it that easy?"
"Yeah. Is it bad?"
Felix stared at him, confused. His eyebrows furrowed on his forehead, and his lips pursed. Seungmin stood up and picked up the empty mug.
"Be right back," he said, before heading into the apartment to put the dish in the sink.
Felix used the break to actually drink the tea, whilst scratching the side of his neck and trying to take in everything that had happened. Were they together now? Was that it?
Seungmin took longer than expected to come back. Felix considered getting up to look for him. It wasn't needed. Seungmin returned with his hands closed into fists.
"Something happened?"
"No, why?"
He sat down again, in the same spot, his hands still clenched. Felix reached for the nearest one with his own hand and slowly unfolded the fingers, which seemed tense. When he looked up to check if everything was alright again, he found the other hand open. With two silver rings in the center of the palm.
"What's that?"
"Felix, do you wanna be my boyfriend?"
"Yes, but..."
"Hope it fits," said Seungmin, slipping one of the rings onto Felix's right ring finger. Felix watched, open-mouthed, as the ring slid perfectly onto his finger.
"When did you get this?"
"Last week. When we went to the mall."
"When we went to the mall?"
"Yeah."
Felix crossed his legs and turned properly towards him, admiring the other jewel before slipping it onto his now-boyfriend's finger.
"And how come I didn't see it?"
"You were in the changing room at the clothes shop next door, with seventeen items to try on."
Felix laughed as he put the ring on him.
"You even remember the amount?"
"'Course I do."
"Oh, really? What else do you remember?"
"How happy you were after finding a pair of trousers that fit your hip just right. How you got yourself all messy trying to eat the ice cream cone I bought you before it melted," Felix felt a tear run down his cheek. "I remember the movie you said you wanted to watch, and I've already bought the tickets for this weekend. And I also remember you were wearing the perfume I gifted you for birthday last year. Oh, and also—
Felix leaned forward and cupped his face in his hands, pressing their lips together.
"You always remember everything."
"I can't forget a single thing about you, Felix."
They pressed their foreheads together, after another peck.
"I love you so fucking much."
"Me too."
"Then why did it take you so long?"
"'Cause I'm a bloody coward."
Felix pressed their lips once more, making the moment last longer. He pulled away just a small bit.
"But you're my bloody coward," he whispered.
"I've always been yours," he whispered back.
This time, Seungmin initiated the kiss, pulling Felix close by the neck and intertwining his other hand with Felix's. He caressed his skin with his thumb as he began to move his lips against Felix's, wanting more than just a peck. More than just a moment. More than just one night. Much more than just one lifetime.