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0-3.
‘A disappointing loss against Tampa Bay for Ottawa, a team who have been looking to regain their confidence since signing Russian star, Ilya Rozanov, 2 years ago. But where was Luca Haas tonight?’
His head hangs low. The commentator’s voice slowly faded as he exited the arena through the tunnel, ignoring the fans hitting the glass around him.
‘Haas showed a lot of promise before being drafted to the Centaurs, but still hasn’t found his form a quarter of the way through the season. Is this so called, ‘prospect,’ really as good as we thought he wa-’’
The locker-room door slams behind him. The abrupt sound interrupts the silence of the tense locker-room as Luca scrambles to take off his gloves before slouching down on the bench. He could feel the eyes of his teammates burning holes in his jersey.
His phone buzzed in his locker behind him, he waited for it to stop. He couldn’t talk to anybody right now.
Their captain is the last one to enter the locker room. Rozanov takes off his helmet and walks to the centre of the room before taking a deep breath.
‘Ok.’ He begins with a pause. ‘That was not great, I will admit.’
Rozanov looks around the room and takes in his team. The others are sitting together, listening intently, until his eyes land on Haas, sitting alone, staring into space away from the others.
‘We will bounce back.’ He says, looking back around the room again. ‘We play New York in two weeks.’
He pauses. ‘I will talk to Wiebe about extra practices before then.’
‘Haasy,’ He turns to the rookie. ‘Talk to me before you leave.’
Luca doesn’t even look up, he just stares at his fingers, picking at them in his lap.
As everyone changes out of their kit, showers and gathers their things to leave, Luca stays in place. Still in full gear, helmet and all. He’s barely moved since he walked into the room, blanking all the ‘see you later’ and ‘we’ll get' em next time’ comments from his teammates.
Before he realises, the skin beside his nails have begun to bleed.
‘Luca?’ The voice snaps him out of his stare. He peers up to see Rozanov standing above him, with a bag slung around his shoulder ready to leave.
‘We talk?’ he says, leaning down to peer through his visor before looking him up and down. ‘Get changed first, will be more comfortable.’
Luca nods slowly, watching as he places his bag on the floor and goes to sit down and wait for him. He realises how stupid he must look and quickly rips off his helmet and gear before turning to open his locker and putting on his glasses, his phone still buzzing against the metal of the shelf.
Once he’s finished, he emerges in front of Rozanov awkwardly, who’s looking down at his phone with a smile.
He looks up, still smirking. ‘I wasn’t sure if you were ready or no-’ He barely finishes his sentence before Luca cuts him off.
‘Listen Cap, I know I haven’t been playing well at all lately and I haven’t been meeting the expectations of you and the team and it’s okay if the team wants to trade me or bench me o-’
‘Woah woah woah, slow down Haasy.’ He puts his hands up to calm him down. ‘You are having panic attack, I just want to talk.’
‘Oh… so, I’m not getting traded?’
‘Господи, no.’ Rozanov said with a chuckle. ‘I just want to check in with you.’
Well that’s a relief.
‘I know you can play better than you are right now, I have seen you play in the NL and AHL. You are not confident anymore.’ He motions for him to sit beside him. ‘Talk to me, Haasy.’
Luca sighs as he takes a seat, not able to look at his captain.
‘I don’t know, I-.’ He pauses. ‘I think I am missing home. It sounds dumb, I know- It’s not an excuse for my bad performance.’
‘It is not dumb.’ Rozanov says plainly. ‘A lot of players feel that way. It can be hard to ignore the feeling. Especially moving so far away.’
He nods. ‘I think everything is just reminding me of Zurich. I haven’t seen my family and friends in so long. I think my mind is just elsewhere all the time.’
He breathed a sigh of relief. Half of him believed that Rozanov would laugh at him or something. He wasn’t ever rude to him or anything, he was just a little cold. Maybe that’s just him being Russian.
‘Did you feel that way? Like, when you left Russia?’
‘Eh, it is more complicated.’ He shrugs. ‘There was not much left for me in Russia.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ Nice one, Luca.
Rozanov waved him off. They sit in silence for a moment.
‘So… what do you miss most about Switzerland?’ Rozanov breaks the silence.
‘I miss my family, my friends.’ He says almost immediately. ‘Ottawa is similar to Zurich, so it’s at least a little comforting. But then it’s kind of just a constant reminder. I go back as much as I can.’
He nods, a smirk forming on his face. ‘You got anybody special back home?’
Luca chuckles nervously, ‘Ah… Yes? I think so anyway.’
‘ты смешной.’ He smiles at him. ‘Is good to have person like that around. You have someone to keep going for.’
Luca was slightly taken aback, it was like he was speaking from experience or something. He wasn’t sure if random women Cap used to pick up at clubs during his time in Boston really counted…
The buzzing of the phone in Luca’s pocket interrupts the moment. The screen reads ‘Eingehender Anruf: Mama.’
‘You take that.’ Rozanov says, leaning over to look at the screen.
Luca steps away to a more private area and lifts the phone to his ear.
‘Hallo?’
(‘Hello?’)
- ‘Hallo, mein Schätzi! Wie bisch? Bisch guet gsi noch em Spiel?’
(‘Hello,my little treasure! How are you? Are you doing alright after the game?’)
Ich bin guet, danke. Wisst, i muessed mi ned nach jedem Spiel aahue.
(‘I’m okay, thank you. You know, you don’t have to call me after every game.’)
- Ich weiss das. Mir sind drei. Wir vermissen dich, Luca.
(‘I know that. We just care about you. We miss you, Luca.’)
Ich vermiss eu au.
(‘I miss you guys too.’)
He talks a little longer with his Mum, reassuring her that he is fine, before returning to the main area to grab his belongings. To his surprise, Rozanov is still sitting where he was before. Once again staring down at his phone, with that same wide grin.
‘You got someone special back home, Cap?’
He looked up slowly, retaining the smile on his face.
‘Ha, see? You are more confident already.’ He grins. ‘I am great help.’
They both smile as Luca goes to collect his things.
‘I joke, but no. No one back in Russia. But here? Yes.’
Luca pauses, before turning back around. ‘You serious?... Is she in Ottawa?’
“I am very serious.’ He says, smiling at the rookie’s reaction.. ‘He is in Montreal, but I hope he will come here soon.’
Hold on… He?...
‘Oh… cool.’ He says in disbelief. ‘I didn’t think…’
‘Yes, is secret. But don’t tell the team, they are horrible at keeping secrets.’ Why was he just trusting him with this information?
‘Well… thanks a lot, for y’know… checking in on me.’
‘Of course, I may be an asshole, but not for my team.’
‘You are an asshole, especially to us cap.’
‘Ok, yes.’ He rolls his eyes. ‘But not for someone who needs help.’