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Why does this always happen to me? I get around to liking someone. I get close to them and then they leave. Everytime without fail.
And now I’m carrying this child inside of me and Sam doesn’t know that it’s his. Naturally, this is how my life usually goes.
So that’s why I’m currently getting my ass kicked by Yelena in the gym. “You shouldn’t be doing this,” she tells me as she goes to hit at my ribs and dodge.
“I’m pregnant, not disabled,”
“Aren’t you mentally disabled?” She asks and I throw her onto the mat.
“I can function fine. Thank you very much,” I comment helping her up.
“I’m not saying your crazy,” she responds as I grab my water to drink.
“Hate to break it to you Yelena, but none of us on this team are exactly sane,”
“Yeah, but you’re the only one slowly destroying themself over a guy,” she counter acts with. I give her a look. “You know I’m right. You shouldn’t be going on these missions you’ve been going on while pregnant. Hell, you shouldn’t be fight me while pregnant. And you need to go and tell him before he figures it out,” she shouts.
“Stop worrying about me. I’m fine,” and with that I leave the gym heading to my room. I’m fine. I don’t know why they think I’m not.
Sam left.
End of story. Everyone leaves me in the end anyway.
Steve left me for Peggy and Sam left me because I decided to join the new avengers. Not that me and him were ever really a couple anyway.
We hooked up once. I forgot to mention that I’m a carrier and now I’m carrying and he hates me.
End of story.
I go into my room and sit on the edge of the bed pressing a hand to my stomach. I’m starting to show slightly. Not that it’s really obvious. At least I don’t think it is.
I close my eyes. “Yeah, I know. I miss him too,” I don’t know why I’m talking to the fetus. It can’t hear me and probably doesn’t care about what I have to say anyway.
I drop my hand down and grab my phone I open up Sam’s contact.
And debate what I’m going to say.
Hey.
How are you?
Surprise, I’m pregnant.
I settle On hey. A message pops up saying I’ve been blocked.
Of course he blocked me. I deserved that. I deserve a lot of things.
Two weeks later Joaquin shows up and is brought in by Yelena. I’m sitting at the kitchen table flipping through reports while John is fussing about something. “Um sir,” I hear a familer voice say. I look up to see Joaquin standing there.
“What’s wrong?” I ask immediately standing up. His eyes go to my stomach.
“I’m so sorry,” is all he gets out.
I search his face for answers. For anything. “What’s wrong?” I ask again. This time my voice shaking.
“Please sit down,” he tells me. I step forward instead.
“Torres, tell me,”
“Me and Sam. We went on a mission and he didn’t make it back,” his voice cracks. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,”
His eyes go back to my stomach as I rest a hand on it and try not to break down.
Why does everyone I love die or leave? Why!?
And then I break down. Maybe it’s the hormones. I don’t know, but Yelena catches me before I fall. And I sob and sob and sob.
He can’t be gone. He can’t be gone.
“I’m so sorry,” Joaquin says again. As Yelena continues to hold me as I just lose it.
This isn’t right.
This isn’t fair.
But I guess that’s just the story of my life.