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"You don't deserve vista."
The words rung in his head over and over again. It gave him a headache. And a heartache as well..
Eye had looked to vista, a silent plea but the moth had avoided him
"Why are you looking at me?.. Dont pin this on me."
After that delight had continued talking but everything was too fuzzy, he didn't quite make out what the other was saying.. His mind was fighting his heart, the ache that begged for his friends.. The ones he trusted. Yet they only looked at him like a monster.. They weren't wrong. A small voice had whispered in the back of his head, as if taunting him, taunting him for losing everyone he ever cared for.. It especially stinged with vista.. The way he avoided looking at eye when delight was talking. The pain felt worse than if he was repeatedly killed in the most painful ways possible..
He had ran away form the two, he didn't want to fall apart in front of them. Not completely.. His throat felt constricted, like someone was choking him. He ran as fast as he could, as far as he can. Because he knew he would regret everything if he collapsed in front of them, in front of him.
He came to halt when he fell, his own knees bucked under him, everything was blurry yet he could see his own reflection in the lake in front of him., it looked like him.. But it wasn't..
That horrible teal, wrapped around his reflections face and arm, it's eyecolor wasn't like his own, but a blue that made him sick to his stomach.
Catalyst stared back at him, or rather maybe it's how eye saw himself.. A monster.
The image of his reflection distorted slightly after a drop of water fell into the lake, he hadn't even notices the tears that were streaming down his face..
He hated it. Hated being alone... He didn't want to be.. Not when he finally tasted the sweetness of people who would actually care for him.. Yet he just had to be stubborn. Had to be an idiot. Had to hurt them. Hurt HIM
Now he was alone.. But at least they wont be hurt anymore.. Right?
His heart ached at the thought of his teammat- ex teammates. Finding people who were better.. It hurt to think about vista.. He and sunny seemed to be getting along quite well.. And now. Eye was just an after thought to the moth.
He sat himself on the river bank, staring at his presumed reflection
"Do you think you deserve vista?"
Eye really didn't want to answer that..
Because he already knew since the start he never will deserve him
"God your pathetic" eyes head shot up looking around yet he couldn't see anyone, and it sounded... Like him?
"Whos there.." He continued to look around in the hopes of finding whoever mocked him.
"Your looking in the wrong place buddy"
Eye looked back at the lake, the image of catalyst stared back at him
"Ah finally" catalyst sounded happy almost
"H-how are you.." Eye was confused, was he going insane now? "There was nowhere to go, so i got sucked back into your body, guess we can't leave each other now." Catalysts reflection rolled it's eyes. "Though that's not the topic now is it.. Your pathetic eye. Crying over a teammate? Really?"
"Youll never understand.. " eye murmured, and the skulkling laughed at him "never understand?, you seem to forget one crucial detail eye.. We are one in the same, you are me and I am you."
Eye shook his head " no.. Your a monster" "and your not?" Catalyst shot back leaving eye silent. "Your pathetic.. Id argue even more pathetic than when that vista was trying to get you back.. No wonder he cared for you.. Your both as pathetic as each other, a match made in heaven" eye grit his teeth, catalyst could say all he liked about eye but he had no right to drag vista into it
"Anyway, this is getting boring.. And id say id rather go into hibernation than stick around with your miserable self" catalyst chuckled "bye bye" just as eye blinked catalyst was gone, his reflection was back to normal, and god did he see how much of a mess he was at the moment, his eyes were red from tears and his face was stained with them as well, he looked entirely disheveled.
The gold on his Armour gleamed, causing another pang to pierce his heart, he was wearing the old armour vista had gave him when he lost his, the armour was chiseled with vistas signature trim and color, he didn't mind it at the time but now it served as a painful reminder how vista doesn't want to see him again.
He curled into himself, in an attempt to make himself as small as he can, his knees pulled close to his chest as he buried his face in them, and small muffled sobs came from him. He never cried.. He never wallowed. So why was he in so much pain that it caused him to break. It's just teammates.. He had left his old teammates before so why does leaving vista and delight hurt so much more..
Maybe it's because they were the ones to call him out, to tell him he never deserved any of them..
He dug his fingers into the sides of his arms, the small claws he had almost ripping into the sleeves of his sweater, he lifted his head up whipping his tears away with the edge of his sleeve.
He needed to get away from here before someone finds him in this pathetic state, he forced himself up, though his legs felt like jello under him. He started moving steadily, step after step till he was out of the perimeter of spawn, yet he felt odd as if someone was watching him. All his senses were permanently heightened after catalyst took over his body, and he didn't know if that was a curse or a blessing in his own opinion. He didn't know where he was going.. It's not like he has a base now, he just wandered around aimlessly untill dark had settled over him..
He sat down on the ground in front of a campfire he had set up for the time being, it was cold. But it was always cold to eye, but somehow it felt as if he was sitting in ice. Plunged under the frozen ocean.. His body felt numb
"Eye?" He opened his eyes in an instant, his head snapping towards the voice
For fucks sake
Sunnyspot stood a couple of feet away
"Hey are you ok ma-" "leave me alone. I don't wanna deal with you right now"
Sunny in fact did not leave him alone, he walked till he was standing next to eye, his gaze fixed on the curled man
"You know vista is worried about you right?", eye didn't reply, he doesn't know if sunny's just toying with him for the sake of his own entertainment or not.. Vista doesn't want him near him, he despises eye...
Sunny sighed and sat down next to eye, he looked at the clicking fire in front of them, it showered both of them in a soft orangish glow
"eye?" Sunny tilted his head to look at eyes face, though the man was looking the other way "why are you here. Just go" sunnys lips thined into a line
"Your driving vista insane right now, he's been running around every where looking for you. What happened?"
"It's none of your business sunny. And I know your lying" sunny sighed "I wish i was, but he's seriously been running around the server to everyone's basses asking about you, hell he went to yama and even Dave earlier aswell. He looked like a headless chicken doing allat"
Eye attempted to swallow whatever was lodged in his throat that was preventing him from breathing properly but to no avail "leave sunny.. I don't want to hear jack shit from you" sunny contemplated actually leaving, on one hand, if vista found out he was with eye he'd definitely get a mouthful, but on the other hand eye looks on the verge of jumping him if he doesn't leave. Even if he knew he could over power eye in a fight in his state he still didn't want to hurt him, they had their fare share of fights, he doesn't need another. Especially when eye was in no state to fight, sunny was everything but unfair. If he were to fight eye he wanted him able to figh
"Fine. But you should go to vista, or at least tell him your ok" sunny pushed himself up, he took one last look at eye before flying away.. Leaving eye alone again, the cold still biting at his skin. He wondered if..
He reached out his hand towards the flame, he absentmindly put his hands in the fire before pulling it away in a frenzy,
what the hell was that.
He had no idea why he did that. The skin on His hand was burnt slightly, the skin reddened, but instead of pulling a gapple or anything to deal with the pain he just stared at it. He was still extremely cold... He had been ever since he became catalyst, the cold was always around the corner but not to this extent..
Usually he didn't mind it since he would most of the time either be fighting with adrenaline pumping through his veins or at his and vistas base curled up in a bunch of blankets. But now he just sat in the middle of the woods with a burnt hand because of his own idiocy.
Catalyst was right.. He is pathetic.
He was desperate to get the cold away, anything to get it away.
He pushed himself up slowly walking towards the nearest base he knew of..
Portal..
He needed to find a portal.
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Vista was unable to sleep or even think of anything, two days ago delight had that whole confrontation with eye, and vista was there of course.. Godamn it he was stupid.. Eye hadn't returned to their shared base, not even to get his stuff, and vista couldn't help but feel his guts twist, last time eye disappeared he came back as catalyst, but this time was different.. This time he ran away.. He thought eye would just cool down and come back.. But now the man was missing. No one had seen him ever since that day, he disappeared as if he was a ghost.. Though yesterday sunny had came to him. He told him he saw eye, that he talked to him. Or at least the best sunny can do to talk to eye..
Vista was now frantically looking everywhere after sunny had told him he saw eye plunge his hand into a flame after sunny was a few blocks away.
Damn it, his heart raced, why would he do such! Vista knew eye wasn't the brightest but he knew damn well he wasn't stupid, he knew how fire works of course. So was he hurting himself on purpose?
That idea made vistas skin crawl, the though he might hurt himself..
He stared out into the void for a while, the sky lit up purple every now and then, it reminded him of how mesmerised eye was whenever he would see it do that.
He made his way to the exit portal, going again to search around for his missing friend.
As he exited the stronghold he looked up at the sky, a soft blue blanket covered in clouds. He had always enjoyed it but now he couldn't even muster any emotion towards the clear sky
The communicator on his arm pinged with a message, he lifted his arm to see who it was
Beatsrice: come to my base quick
Wind0wsVista: why??
Beatsrice: I found eye
His heart almost jumped out of his throat, he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't misreading what beats had written. Nope still the same
Vista frantically rummaged through his inventory looking for his fireworks but couldn't find them, he really didn't wanna waste time.. He decided to give up on the alytra and just use his wings. He needed to get there.
He lifted his wings, his wings were fragile that's why he never used them a lot and opted to use alytras like most of the other players, heck most of the server just thought he was wearing a mantle, not alot knew he was a moth..
He flew through the air as fast as he could, his heart was practically in his throat, beatsrises base came to view and vista landed less than gracefully in front of the ferries wheel, he frantically looked around for the man, when he caught glimpse of beats back, he practically sprinted to him, his wings still flared behind him.
"Oh hey vist- wow" beats was looking at vistas wings, the man was amazed by the patterns on them, vista didn't have time for him to keep staring down his wings, he needed to see eye
"Wheres eye" vista hadn't even realized he was panting, he guested it was from both him sprinting here and using his wings that he hadn't relied on for a while "oh! Right!" Beats reckoned vista to follow him, he walked up to a small stand with an umbrella over it, a makeshift bed was under the canopy umbrella.
There layed on it the man he was looking for two days straight, he quickly kneeled to be closer to the other.
"I found him passed out in the neather.. He was surrounded by fire in a fortress, I honestly don't know how the fire didn't catch onto him.. Though it could've if I had came any later" vistas heart almost jumped out of his throat at the though "managed to drag him back here but had to take his armour off, it was too heavy."
Vista couldn't give less of a fuck about the armour, he reached for eyes hand, pulling it into his own, his skin felt cold to the touch which made vistas heart drop before he realized the man was in fact still breathing, though shallow. His clothes and skin were covered in a thin layer of ash from the neather but vista didn't care, he raised eyes hand to his lips and pressed the gentlest of pecks againsts his fingers, he noticed the ring he had given him the week they had teamed up was missing.. And it made him spiral a little, though he had bigger problems than a ring at the moment
"T-thanks beats.." Beatsrice smiled at him "anything for a friend. You seemed worried sick. " vista nodded, his eyes still glued to the shallow rise and fall of the man in front of him "I should get out of your hair now I suppose, dont wanna take up alot of your time, again. Thanks so much" vista lifted one of eyes arms around his neck and slid his arms under the unconscious mans knees and back, making sure to be careful as he lifted him into his arms, he hated how cold his body was "your not a bother vista, and again, its no problem at all."
Vista nodded at beats before he started to leave, he couldn't really fly with eye in his arms, his wings would've handle both their body weights so he was forced to walk back to the portal on foot, though he wasn't thinking much about that, his eyes were glued to eyes face, his bangs fell slightly to the side revealing the eye he always kept hiddent behind his bangs, vista had seen it a couple of times back when they were freshly teammates, though mostly on accident rather than eye actually showing it to him.
He stood in front of the portal, the swirling of it's entrance magic always magnetized vista, the low purplish glow emiting from it reminded him of the glow of the moon.
He adjusted his hold on eye to get a better grasp on him as he passed through, he took a step forward leaning into the portal, it always felt like a leap of faith, after all you had to tilt your entire body as if you were gonna fall face first and practically fall into the portal, as he did so his feet stepped on the end sstone from the other side, he was right up again, and thankfully he didn't drop eye.
He started making his way to his base, his grip on eye loosened just a small bit, he didn't want to hurt him on accident with his claws.. He was never sure why he had them if he was a moth but he supposed they at times were helpfull..
He finally reached his base, the familiar building pushed the faintest of smiles on his face yet he couldn't be much happy with eye still being unresponsive in his arms, he layed the unconscious man on his bed, making sure to be careful. Vista wiped some sweat from his forehead, eye wasn't that heavy if he was honest, but the whole journey itself was tremendous effort for him.
Vista sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes glued to eye, he picked up his hand and traced his finger along his palm, he was worried sick about Him. He decided to get up and get some blankets to maybe chase away the cold from eyes body, he was hesitant to leave his side, he wanted to keep a keen eye on him all the time. He was scared that if he looked away for one second that eye would disappear, even for how impossible it was.
He quickly got some blankets front he lower level of the base and came back, taking a reliefed breath when eye was still there.
He tucked the blankets around the man in an effort to warm him up, he was so scared. Horrified even.
He lifted his gaze to the others face, eyes face was fixed in a somewhat distressed one, and his eyes looked slightly sunken from lack of sleep.
Vista had always had to practically force eye to sleep or else the man wouldn't even consider doing so on his own.
Vista reached over and pressed his hand to the others cheek gently, it was as cold as the rest of his body, he hated it. He hated what catalyst did to his eye. But he hated himself more for not understanding that eye was simply afraid, afraid of vista getting hurt.. And vista didn't want to see that. And it caused this whole situation.. And now he didn't know what happened to the man in his two day disappearance..
He wondered, maybe he should've stopped delight, maybe he should've confronted eye on his own.. So many maybes and what ifs, they swam in his head and made it hurt.
He scooted a bit closer to eye and lifted his head gently, he then rested it on his chest as he layed besides him, running his fingers gently through eyes hair. His hurt jumped slightly when eye shifted closer to him, but he was still.. Asleep?
Vista didn't move. He sat there watching the smallest of breaths from eye. The slightest of shifts..
At one point he had realized eye had bandages wrapped all around his left hand down to his elbow, he didn't know what to think, yet he assumed the worst. He avoided touching the bandages incase so he doesn't hurt eye in doing so..
He gently pressed his lips to the top of eyes forehead, placing a gentle kiss.
He cared too much. Too much that it hurt the light of his life..
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Eye panted, he stood folded over himself slightly, his sword gripped weakly, catalyst stood in front of him, an earie smile plastersed on the skulklings face..
He hated this place, everything was dark.. He didn't know how he ended up here but the second he saw catalyst he knew it wouldn't be good. The skulklings had tossed him a sword, a challenge to a fight. Yet in eyes weak state he was out powered by the creature. Every swing eye aimed at catalyst dodged with ease, as if he already knew eyes next moves, but in return eye was hit swing after swing from catalyst.. The skulk would drop mocking remarks about how weak and pathetic eye was from between each swing and he hated it. He hated the damn creature. He was the downfall of everything.. But now he didn't have vista to help him like before, he didn't have anything.. It was just him against the false image of his own.
"I thought you'd hold yourself better" catalyst hummed, he stepped closer towards eyes who was still heaving for air.
Catalyst wrapped his claws around eye jaw and forced him to look into his eye, the other tried to get out of catalysts grasp but to no avail, the sluckling was bodily stronger than he was. "Your pathetic. A waste if I'm honest. You had sooo much potential. Yet.. You still fall like the rest of them.". Catalyst dug his claws harsher into the sides of eyes cheeks "get out of my realm, I don't want to see your pathetic face anymore, such a shame I look like you" catalyst pushed eye off of the edge of the platform they were standing on watching as eye attempted to grab onto something before he completely fell but to no avail...
He shifted slightly, he could feel warmth around him, though it wasn't the warmth of fire like he sought after in the nether, he forced his eye open, his body hurt.. He scanned the area though it was slightly blurry. Then he felt it, his head was resting on something, or somone, judging by the faint sound of breathing and gentle rise and fall.
eye lifted his head up to look at the area around him, his heart sank when he realized it was his base. Or rather vistas base, he looked at what his head was resting on and there he was, vista was laying besides him as well, though he was obviously asleep. His arm was draped around eye while his other arm was under the pillow.
Why was eye here.. He stared at vistas peaceful face for abit, he missed him so much. He just wanted to pepper kisses all over the moths face though he knew it probably wouldn't be appreciated.
Did vista bring him here out of pity?
Too many questions ran through his head, but one thing he knew was he needed to get away from vista, as far as he can.
he shifted from under vistas arm, trying his best to not wake the sleeping moth, he needed to get out of here, away from him.
His feet pressed against the floor, he for some reason didn't want to get up, or rather he couldn't bring himself to leave, to run away again.. But.. He couldn't stay. Even if he wanted to
He forced himself to stand up, he stared at his bandaged hand, he could still feel his skin tingling slightly under the gauze he had hastily wrapped around his whole arm. He pulled his sleeve down, he didn't know why it was up in the first place.
He tried to sneak as quietly as he could towards the stairs, being mindful of his steps, though his leg caught on the edge of an armor stand causing him to trip, the armour stand as well came clatering down over him.
the sound of armour crashing against each other jolted vista awake, he jumped up in a frenzy, hastily looking around when his eyes finally landed onto the clutter of armour and eye on the floor under them "eye!" He rushed to help the man, pushing the neatherite pieces off of him, eye avoided vistas gaze, his heart raced, "Are you ok eye?" Vistas voice was filled with worry, eye didn't expect that.
"Y-yeah I'm fine.." Eye pushed himself up into a sitting position, still trying his best to avoid Looking at vistas face, vista tilted his head, worry still etched onto his face.
"Eye? Please look at me.. " vistas voice cracked slightly at the end..
Eye swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and slowly turned his head to the moth, he locked eyes with vista and before he could say anything vista pulled him into a hug, it made eye tear up slightly, though he didn't let any tears fall, vista tightened his grip and eye wheezed slightly, he hesitantly patted vistas head, making sure to be mindfull of the others resting antennas.
"Eye. You have no idea how long I've been looking for you. You absolut idiot" vista hesitantly loosened his grip, he pulled his head back to look at eye, he sniffled slightly.
"I-, what" he blinked at vista, a little taken aback that vista was actually looking for him.
"What happened eye. You have a lot to explain" vistas face gave a hint of harshness before softening again.
"I- I don't want to talk about it.. " eye looked away.
Vista sighed and got up, he lifted eye along with him " it's alright. You don't have to at the moment." Vista kissed eyes palm gently.
He led eye to the bed and he sat down with vista standing infront of him.
"Can I see your arm?" He pointed towards eyes left arm, the one he had plunged into the fire earlier, he hesitated for a moment before reaching his arm out for vista to examine.
Vista pushed eyes sleeve up before slowly starting to unravel the hastily put together bandages around eyes arm, he frowned as he looked at the small blisters and raw skin that covered eyes hand up to half of his Forearm, he winced at the view, he pulled the first aid kit from the bedside table and started rumagaing through the kit, he pulled out some bandages and a burn cream, " I don't know if this'll do much.." Vista said in an apologetic tone as he started to work carefully on eyes arm.
Eye watched vista closely, he was now kneeling on the ground in front of eye while he worked.
"Vista?.. " he hated how desperate his voice sounded. "Hm?" The moth looked up at him, eye swallowed harshly, "do you.. Do you hate me", vista blinked at the obscene question, he was shocked eye could even think of something like that, "why would I hate you" eye looked away from vista, a sad expression on his face "I.. When you and delight. You know.. I-You just implied it I suppose.. " eye curled his good hand around part of his lower sweater.
Vista sighed and stood up, he cupped eyes face so he would look at him, he leaned in and pressed the gentlest kiss to eyes lips, almost as if he was just the slightest bit harsh the man in front of him could shatter, he broke off the kiss and caressed eyes cheek, the others eyes were dilated like a cat before they enlargened as he looked at vista with the smallest of frowns, "I would never hate you, because I can't live without you my crow, your the air to my lungs, the blood to my heart... My everything" he pressed eye into the bed, he caged him in slightly as he pressed more gentle kisses around eyes face, they weren't demanding, they were gentle, as if a flower was thankful for the sun, eye could feel the longing from vista that mirrored his own, that raw feeling that made them both gravitate towards each other., he wrapped his arms around vistas neck and kissed him deeply, longing and sorrow spilled through him, the desperation that ate at him. He loved vista, dearly.. More than would be considered healthy for him. But now he couldn't focus on anything but the moth, how soft his hair felt under his palms, how gentle their kisses were, and how enveloped into each other the two were..
They truly couldn't exist without each other.
Two halves that made a whole, a sun and his moon. Existing without the other wasn't an option in their eyes.
"I love you eye" vista had pulled eye so he woul be laying on vistas chest now.
Eye cuddled closer to the prince, a contempt smile plastered on his face as he looked up at vista.
"I love you more. "