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Night falls as the air grows colder, while an abundant fire keeps the group of friends warm under the moonlit, cloudy sky. After battling Tagah and the Denied, this was much needed serenity they needed before returning to their normal lives. Aang eventually flew off somewhere to spend time alone to decompress, and process what he almost did in the Avatar State, and all that was revealed about Avatar Sonam and Tagah's past.
The flames crackle alive in the silence between Zuko, Toph, Katara and Sokka, except for enthusiastic chewing coming from Sokka eating off his skewer of three fish he so proudly caught himself. Momo lands on top of Sokka's head, licking his lips and hungrily staring at Sokka's food, which makes Katara softly giggle. Zuko’s eyes flicker at her across the fire, and he smiles to himself as she is unaware of his gaze on her. He quietly admires the fleeting, small smile on her face, since she has been unusually silent since they sat down and began cooking their food.
Zuko feels reminiscent of the time after he first joined the group of friends, and after he got on good terms with everyone, before they settled at his family’s old beach house on Ember Island years ago. He recalls how he'd steal quick glances at Katara across the fire or whenever she happened to sit next to him, though back then he didn't understand fully why he’d do it so often. Zuko wondered if she ever did the same during that time in their lives.
There were some nights he would linger by the fire while everyone else would go to sleep, and a few times Katara would be the last out of the others to remain. Zuko was grateful for whenever she did, and for the late night talks that occurred between them, with just the stars and the moon keeping them company. It created a sense of comfort in the amidst of the war going on and the state of the world weighing on their shoulders.
In the present, Zuko is taken aback at how life has changed around him — all of them — since then. And yet, the way he feels for Katara, has not. Ever since helping her confront her mother's killer before the war's end, something shifted in their bond. For him, his feelings gradually grew stronger even though he dismissed and denied it constantly within himself, especially when he questioned if he felt romantic love for her after he jumped in front of his sister's lightning to save Katara's life. But he realized that too late, unfortunately not until after Katara began a relationship with Aang, and even more so after he and Mai officially broke up for good.
Zuko's worries for Katara return to the forefront of his mind, thinking about how traumatic it must've been for her to find him, Sokka, and Toph dead after the body of water she fell into revived her. How devastating it must've been having to carry their lifeless bodies by herself into the spirit water in hopes she could save all of them. It happened just hours ago, and Zuko hasn't gotten the chance yet to ask her how she was really feeling.
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Eventually, Sokka and Toph both grow tired after they all finish eating, and the two of them walk back to lay on Appa to get some rest, leaving Katara and Zuko alone by the fire that's still going. As silence settles between them, Katara is seemingly lost in thought as she stares at the dancing flames in front of her.
"You know this reminds me of the time before the war ended." Zuko speaks over the fire at Katara, and her eyes slowly meet his. "When we didn't have a place to stay, so we slept in tents and we'd sit around a fire together nearly every night."
"It feels like such a long time ago." Katara responds with a subtle smile. "Some nights you and I stay by the fire until it naturally went out."
Zuko feels his cheeks grow warm slightly, touched that she remembers. "Then we'd basically hate ourselves the next day with the lack of sleep we'd get."
"Sokka would yell at me if I slept in for too long." Katara exhales gently through her nose, amused as she recalls the memory. Her smile fades, and she grows quiet, avoiding Zuko's gaze.
Zuko hesitates at first, but stands up and walks over to Katara. She watches as he sits beside her on the ground with his legs crossed, close enough that their knees are merely a few inches apart. He takes a deep breath and holds her gaze.
“Hey, I just wanted to say… thank you for saving my life, again.” Zuko tells her, earnestly.
"Of course." Katara replies with a soft smile and eyes full with gratitude that she was able to.
"It must've been so scary to find us… you know…" Zuko trails off, unsure if she wants to talk about what happened, with how fresh in her memory it is, but leaving it up to her if she does.
Katara takes a deep breath, and lets it out as she looks down at her hands. "It was…"
She pauses, fiddling with her fingers, and Zuko waits for her to speak again, giving her the space and silence to gather her thoughts.
"I had to think fast, I… wasn't sure if I could do it, but I had to try. If the spiritual powers of the water revived me, I needed to believe it was the only way to save you all." Katara glances back at Zuko with clear hurt in her eyes, as the ghost of the despair she felt earlier when she was alone, settles back into her body.
"Seeing Toph motionless… seeing Sokka-" Katara chokes up mentioning her brother, looking down at her hands again. "I-I couldn't lose him, just like Mom... back then I wasn't able to do anything but run away."
Zuko remains silent and patient for Katara to vent, listening attentively to her.
"When I brought your body into the water… I was reminded of the Agni Kai with your sister." She recalls with a breath hitched in her throat. "But it was different this time. Because back then, you were still conscious, although in pain."
Katara pauses as her fingers begin to shake while her mind brings her back to that very moment before continuing.
"This time… I-I couldn't feel your heartbeat, and you… you felt so cold."
Katara could no longer look him in the eyes as her voice quivers, and Zuko can tell the building sensation of the need to cry is overcoming her. Zuko looks at her with immense sadness, with his heart sinking in his chest. He shifts closer to Katara and wraps his arms around her in comfort. Katara clutches onto him tightly like she's afraid he'll disappear, and suddenly bursts into tears.
Zuko lets her cry as long as she needs to, rubbing gentle circles on her back as she sobs and sniffles against his chest. Eventually, he notices when her crying quiets down and her breathing is less ragged. Katara's head remains resting on his chest, as she feels at ease hearing his steady heartbeat, proof of him being alive.
"I was so afraid of losing you, for good…" She croaks with a whisper, as her hands squeeze a little tighter on his arms.
"You didn't." Zuko leans back slightly and pushes away the lone strands of hair clinging to her face. He notices although her eyes are puffy, with lashes wet, and a trail of tears that have dripped down her cheeks, he still finds her so beautiful. "I'm right here, all because of you."
An appreciative smile tugs at the corner of her lips as Katara wipes her tears, and Zuko loosens his embrace around her, but keeps a hand on her back.
“You really are incredible… healing the three of us at the same time. You never cease to amaze me with what you're capable of.” Zuko continues. “I don’t think I could ever repay you.”
“You don’t have to.” Katara’s eyes glance down at the upper part of his abdomen that's exposed in between the opening of his vest, where his scar from Azula’s lightning remains. It is forever a reminder marked on his skin that she wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for his sacrifice 12 years ago. “You already have.”
Zuko follows her gaze and gives her a knowing glance and soft smile as her eyes meet his again.
A moment of silence passes and he retracts his arms to his sides, leaving room for him to debate about speaking out loud something else he has been wanting to tell her.
“I believed you, you know.” Zuko admits quietly.
“About what?” Katara questions him with a sniffle.
“When you had a bad feeling about Tagah." Zuko answers. "I noticed too, and checked on him briefly. But I unfortunately didn’t have any proof otherwise because Aang was too trusting of him. You always have a way of seeing people for who they truly are and their intentions.”
“I just trust my instincts.” Katara blushes slightly, looking away for a moment, then her expression turns somber. “I wish Aang did.”
Zuko tilts his head slightly, and his jaw subtly tightens, attempting to hold back what he really wants to say.
Thirteen years of being in a relationship with you, and he doesn’t trust his girlfriend over someone he just met? No matter the history or reason?
This pains Zuko to hear, knowing that this isn’t the only time this has happened where Katara wants Aang to truly listen to her concerns whenever they arose, but he'd brush them off. Countless times she has confided in Zuko about the little and big instances when Aang was oblivious of the impact of his words and actions on Katara, as well as being so caught up with his own stuff, to really be there for Katara when she needed him. Zuko has always known Katara to be such a loving, caring person and Zuko can't fathom her receiving anything less than what she truly deserves by the person that supposedly loves her above everything else.
Being Avatar has always seemed to come first for Aang, as she has expressed to Zuko multiple times over the years, and it continued to be true with the lack of consideration of how that would affect Katara and their relationship. Aang seemed to have naively believed that because their bond was strong and lasted this long, nothing could ever really break them apart. From the outside looking in, there were cracks in the foundation that Zuko noticed, and he became increasingly disappointed in Aang as a friend to them both. However, something else has been stirring inside of Zuko that walked the thin line of platonic concern for Katara and her happiness, and romantic jealousy that he wasn't the one she was with all this time.
“I’m glad I have you though,” Katara says gratefully, placing a light hand on Zuko's arm, pulling him out of his thoughts. He senses a spark ignite underneath his skin from her gentle touch. “You’ve always understood me more than anyone else. If not counting my own brother, of course.”
“Y-yeah, I could say the same about you.” Zuko replies genuinely, while his nerves start to take over as he fidgets with his hands in his lap.
Experiencing death and being brought back to life within the same day urges him in this very moment to say the things he has been holding back for years, while he still can, as today has proved anything can happen when neither of them expect it. He also realizes how fed up and exhausted he is with keeping certain thoughts buried deep inside of himself, that have never gone away. Like a flame forever lit, impossible to be extinguished, despite continuous efforts to do so.
“I-I always wondered if… it was me instead of him.” Zuko dares to wonder out loud, releasing a truth he never thought he'd actually confess to her, ever. The initial relief he feels becomes mixed with fear of her response as she noticeably stiffens after the words left his mouth.
“Zuko…” Katara whispers quietly, but looks up at him with a sort of sadness like she has pondered the same at least once.
“Maybe I’m too late to admit it, but it’s true.” Zuko continues with more words spilling out like an avalanche before he can even stop them. “But was the timing meant to be that way? Were you and I truly meant for other people, despite the way we feel?"
Katara's eyes widen at the mention of "we", but Zuko has known deep down inside she has to have felt something between them that people that were just friends didn't feel — even if she never directly made her feelings known, and while neither has he, until now.
"I've always felt a pull towards you, no matter what I did to resist it," Zuko shakes his head, as he helplessly reveals his heart to her. He clenches his fists tightly to restrain himself from the urge to reach out to her again. "And no matter what I do now…”
Katara, sits there with her mouth agape, taking in every bit of his confession.
"I'm sorry that we haven't spoken much the past year and our letters have become less frequent…" Zuko lowers his gaze in regret, "It became more painful to stay close to you when Aang started mentioning plans of your and his future together."
Katara swallows hard, knowing Aang has been hinting at the idea of marriage for them in the near future during the past year, and it's no surprise to her that Aang would mention it to other people out of excitement, including to one of their best friends. She would catch herself feeling hesitant to agree completely that's what she wanted as well, but she was having trouble grappling with the reason why.
Katara also has caught herself feeling sad whenever messenger hawks would arrive in the Southern Water Tribe, and none would be for her, from Zuko; the interval of receiving any lengthened to her dismay. She has sensed a bit of distance between her and Zuko lately, but thought it was solely due to the stress that came along with their busy lives and endless responsibilities, especially with Zuko as Fire Lord.
As her mind is reeling from the truth Zuko speaks, his eyes flicker from her own to her lips, and back up. Katara notices and her heartbeat quickens in her chest.
"Tell me you don’t feel the same way, that you never wondered the same, and I won’t say any more.” Zuko breathes with desperation in his voice, as his eyes lock with hers.
“I…” Katara's mind goes blank under Zuko's strong gaze. She couldn't bring herself to lie when he's looking at her as if he is peering into her soul and her deepest desires.
She senses the tension inside herself as her mind and heart are at war. Katara becomes fed up with all the times she had to be there for other people, take care of other people… all the times she has considered Aang and put his needs first over her own, so much so that she forgets to be there for herself, to acknowledge what she really needs, and what she truly wants.
Katara's eyes silently darts from Zuko's amber ones, to his lips and dangerously lingers there. She feels her body slowly leaning closer to him without thinking, until their faces are just a few inches away from each other. Zuko watches her carefully, and doesn't dare to move, as his breathing intensifies from her closing the distance between them ever so slightly.
What if for once, she gave into the deep longing she has had to keep buried within herself, the desire to kiss the man she has been wondering every now and then if in another life, he was the one she got to be with after the war ended?
The guilt used to bother Katara immensely inside, but in respect to Aang, and respect to Zuko being with Mai at the time, she had to push that thought away, and get rid the temptation… and yet it lingered, on and on for years. Her feelings for Zuko had more depth than she could admit to herself, or anyone else. There was no point in denying it any longer, while she's close enough to his lips that she can feel his breath on hers.
Katara’s eyes flutter shut as she slowly presses her lips against Zuko's, with her hands placed on his solid chest. Zuko inhales sharply at first, but then his own eyelids close as he exhales softly into her mouth. The rest of the world disappears for them as she can feel Zuko’s heart quicken underneath her hand on his chest, just as fast as her own heartbeat is pounding in her ears.
Zuko repositions his lips to deepen the kiss, cherishing how soft her lips feel, as she grips onto the fabric of his tattered vest. His hands slide up her back to hold her close as a warmth from within engulfs his heart, as if it is no different than how it feels whenever he simply looks at Katara after it has been months in between seeing each other.
Katara slides a hand up to his neck, tracing her fingertips along his jaw, then cups his face with both hands, a thumb brushing lightly against his scar. Zuko lets out a pleased sigh, and places his hands lower to rest on her waist, pulling her in so her body is flush against his.
To her, kissing Zuko feels different than how it feels to kiss Aang. She relishes Zuko’s warm, comforting embrace with his strong arms around her and his natural, smoky scent overwhelming her senses.
Katara wraps her arms around his neck, and their kisses become more desperate and urgent, as both of them becoming addicted to the satisfaction and pleasure of finally doing what they've secretly always wanted to.
But her conscience makes her pull away and out of his embrace abruptly, as her mind realizes what they're doing is wrong, even if it feels so right.
Katara instantly covers her lips with her hand, staring at Zuko in shock as she realizes she was the one that initiated the first kiss. Zuko looks back at her, breathless and startled.
“I-I’m so sorry…” Katara utters shakily with her cheeks flushed.
“You don’t have to apologize.” Zuko assures her, while attempting to catch his breath. "Today's been… a lot."
Katara remains silent, troubled inside, not knowing what to say.
“This doesn’t have to change our friendship, Katara.” Zuko comforts her, trying to hold her gaze, even though part of him is afraid that this could could everything between them.
Katara nods in acknowledgment, and lowers her hand from her face. She then looks at him like she wants to say something, but decides against it. She lets out a shaky exhale.
“I-I better go.”Katara stutters as she stands up, and fixes her hair. "Aang might come back tonight."
“Yeah that would be… best.” Zuko agrees with reluctance, and slowly stands up as well, despite the ache inside that he wishes so badly she could stay here awhile longer. She looks so distraught, and he doesn't want to overstep more than they already have.
Katara bites her lip, and turns away and takes a couple steps forward before turning back to face Zuko again. Zuko's heart skips a beat, anticipating what more she will say.
“Can we keep this between us?” Katara asks softly, holding his hand to his surprise. Zuko glances at their hands and looks back up at her, exhaling deeply.
“Of course. I won’t tell a soul.” Zuko answers sincerely, and squeezes her hand lightly in emphasis.
"Thank you.” Katara whispers, with a light squeeze in return and her hand lingers in his a second longer than he expects before she lets go. She turns and walks away, leaving Zuko alone by the fire with his hand on his forehead in disbelief of what just occurred between them; how quickly it happened, and how quickly it ended.
Part of him feels terrible for what they did. But another part of him feels relief to have done something he has always wanted to do. Unashamedly, he must admit it was better than he ever imagined how it would feel like to kiss Katara. He's still shocked that Katara kissed him first, making him wonder whether that it wasn't just the spur of the moment, nor due to the height of intense emotions off of what happened throughout the day. He wonders if her apology meant that she regrets kissing him at all.
Regardless, Zuko decides he will give her time and the space she needs right now, to figure out where to go from here, even though he longs so badly to feel her lips on his again, and to hold her in his arms. He hopes that eventually that they'll get a chance to talk about what just happened, and specifically about her feelings toward him since she didn't say out loud that she reciprocated his… even though the kisses they shared said a whole lot, all on its own.