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Olesya Ilyukhina fidgeted as she and Yáo sat at the same table where just a day ago, Grace had been asked to join the Hail Mary mission.
The poor guy had been given only three hours to consider the weight of accepting or denying a suicide mission. Ilyukhina did not regret her own decision one but, but even she had thought it over for days before applying and again when she was given the initial call to join the taskforce.
She had not seen Grace since that meeting. She’d be lying to say she hadn’t been looking. Yesterday there had been some commotion, and she hadn’t been able to get an answer on what had happened. Everything has felt so off since Martin and Annie had died.
Her attention snapped back to the present as Stratt said, “…Dr. Grace has accepted the proposal to be the science specialist of the Hail Mary mission.”
“He has?!” The words flew from Ilyukhina’s mouth before she knew they had. “Where is he? We have to welcome him to the mission!”
Her tone was far too happy for most ears. Her friend had just signed away his life for a suicide mission. But that meant he was now one of her crew, suddenly existing in an odd limbo only she and Yáo understood. If she did not choose to be happy, she would have spent her last months on Earth in misery. She wouldn’t let that happen to Grace’s last few days here.
“Doctor Grace elected to induce his coma early—”
“What?”
“He said he feared that due to his limited astronaut training, he would panic during the launch.”
He was already in the coma? It had been such a short period of time. From what Ilyukhina had heard, he didn’t have any family to reach other to, but… Had he given a call to a friend? Wrote an email that could be read to his students, or left them a video saying goodbye? Did he watch the sunset or see the stars one last time? Why had he not came to talk to Yáo or her before being put under?
Stratt averts her eyes, not for long, though, as Yáo catches her gaze. For just a moment, there is an unspoken heaviness in the room in which neither relents. The small slip from Stratt is already buried, however. She is unwavering, and the moment ends with Yáo looking down and sighing.
Like nothing had happened, Stratt begins explaining the process of how Grace will be loaded into the Soyuz and how they will secure him to his bed, and finish commencing the coma procedure.
Walking into the hall from the meeting, Ilyukhina can hardly believe Grace has joined the mission. He had seemed so distressed, and now he has vanished.
She cannot help but think of what Yáo had said to Stratt yesterday before Grace had entered the conference room.
I will not have someone on my crew who is there against their will.
An awful idea begins to surface in Ilyukhina’s mind. Was that why Yáo was silently challenging Stratt? Yet if that was what Yáo suspected, why not say something? Why not insist they use another scientist, or refuse to go?
But if what she thought Yáo was thinking was correct, that would be Grace was going on the mission against his will. Either coerced, or forced. Ilyukhina wondered if was he still awake somewhere or was he truly in the coma?
“Ilyukhina,” Yáo said, pulling her attention back to the present. “I’m going to grab some breakfast and call my family. Would you like to meet them?”
Both Yáo and Ilyukhina had been calling their families and friend as much as possible. This past week we had been given only the minimum of meetings and duties. The minimum was still a lot, but it was enough to give them small periods of free time to try to enjoy their last time on Earth.
“Uh, yes! That sounds good!”
Ilyukhina had already seen the Earth from space. Not for the first time, but for the last. She and Yáo stayed by Grace. It was a bit odd to watch him sleep, but it felt right. He was a part of their crew. Their last moments before Tau Ceti should be spent together.
Grace was already intubated. Yáo and Ilyukhina have triple checked that every tube and needle hooked to Grace is inserted properly and functioning correctly, even if each one seemed like an intrusion committed against him.
Ilyukhina looks at Yáo. She can’t deny the unspoken knowledge that they share. She wonders if they are bad people for not saying something. Although, even if they had, even if Stratt had confirmed their suspicions, even if they refused to go on the mission, Ilyukhina is certain they would still be here. Just already unconscious like Grace.
Yáo sighed across from Grace’s bed.
“Don’t look so glum,” Ilyukhina says. “We will solve this astrophage problem in no time. Check off ‘Save the planet’ from our to do list and then we can spend a few months just partying and having game nights, yeah? I brought Monopoly with my special edition cat.”
“That could be nice.” He smirks without it meeting his eyes, “Although, I hope you look forward to losing.”
“Oh! It is so on!” She swats at Yáo from across Grace. They both laugh. They both know this is the last time they will laugh within the sun’s orbit.
She can’t help but think about how Yáo will never have a game night with his kids again.
As their laughter dies, their eyes trace over Grace again. Ilyukhina silently vows she will be as patient and kind with Grace as she can when they wake. She will do whatever she can to get him to laugh, and she trusts Yáo will know what to say to calm Grace when needed. They both have committed themself to a personal mission of making Grace’s sacrifice hurt the least it can.
When it is time for them to begin coma procedures, Yáo places a hand on Grace’s shoulder. “Billions of lives commend you for taking the journey to save our star. Sleep well. Until I see you again, Dr. Grace.”
“Don’t worry, Grace. Yáo and I have will have all the easy stuff under control, like, fixing the spaceship and flying it. All you’ll have to do is the very complicated science. Well take care of everything else, you won’t even ever need to get into a spacesuit.” Ilyukhina tells him, with the same upbeat tone she always tries to keep. She squeezes his arm and smiles, feeling her eyes water.
“We’ll will see you soon, yeah?”