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“Do you believe in fate Phil?”
Dan and Phil were tucked deep into their round rock phome, listening to the currents swirl outside.
“Mmm. I think so. Like there’s a reason God made us lobsters right? Because we were meant to be together forever. Not all animals mate for life, like humans don’t. They’re constantly changing partners.”
Dan swiveled one eyestalk to look at Phil.
“Phil, lobsters don’t mate for life.”
“Yes they do! There’s a reason everyone says ‘you’re my lobster.’ We’re the peak of romance.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s just an old crab’s tale. And anyway, how many other lobster couples do you know who have been together forever?”
“Well, none, but that’s because we don’t leave the cave or know any other lobsters.”
“Mmm, good point.”
They were quiet for a moment, claws brushing against each other on the cave floor.
“What about you Dan, do you believe in fate?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about tartar sauce a lot recently.”
“Tartar sauce?”
“Yeah. I don’t know what the fuck tartar sauce is. But it was sent here from God. You know how it’s like we were put, two little lobster larvae from Bristol and Blackpool? And met via the water-net and created this thing called Dan and Phil.”
Phil laughs along, amused.
Dan continued, “The ingredients of tartar sauce were put in this universe by God, for the singular purpose of becoming tartar sauce.”
“So we are a tartar sauce metaphor?” Phil asked, eyestalks fond.
“Hell, yeah,” Dan said, snapping his claws decisively.