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It was an unassuming Tuesday in April when Sasuke came back into her life. It was drizzling outside, causing her hair to frizz lightly and curl around her hairline. She had thrown it up as best she could with the assistance of her headband and so many pins she had lost count.
The dreary day had made her hit the snooze button on her alarm and forego washing her hair. If she was going to be throwing it up anyway, there was no point in washing it. She’d rather take the extra thirty minutes to enjoy her cozy pillows and blankets. She would have had plenty of time to get ready and get to work on time had Kakashi not summoned her. So, instead of being perfectly put together when she entered his office, she ended up being a whirlwind of flyaway hairs, ledgers, and spreadsheets threatening to spill out of her bag and almost fully soaked through because she was in too big of a hurry to find her umbrella (which was not in the umbrella stand beside her door as it should have been).
“Ah, Sakura!” Kakashi greeted, both eyes crinkling.
The choice words she had prepared for her former sensei died on her lips when she saw Sasuke standing at the windows behind Kakashi’s desk. Despite being unable to see his face, she would recognize him anywhere. She felt frozen in the doorway.
With Sasuke’s back to her, all she could see was the black of his tunic, a soaking wet cloak hung up by the door. A purple piece of cloth was wrapped around his head. She couldn’t tell if his hair had gotten longer, or if the cloth was just holding it down and would he just turn around dammit!
After what felt like a lifetime, he finally turned his head towards her, face carefully blank.
How was it legal for one man to look that good?
And she was standing in the doorway looking like a drowned rat.
The world could be such a cruel place.
Would she ever see him and not be struck with how different he looked? Would she ever be there to witness the aging? To know when he started looking less like a boy and more like a man. To note how long it took to grow his hair out like that. To wonder when he got the scar on his chin or the exhausted lines under his eyes?
To witness Sasuke Uchiha age felt like it would be the greatest gift she could ever receive.
“Sakura,” he said, nodding his head in greeting.
“Sasuke!” Sakura exclaimed, beaming at him. She rushed forward, not really caring that she was soaked and he was dry or if he didn’t like physical affection because it had been two years. She threw her arms around him from the side. She noted that his form was skinnier than when he first left, and wondered if that was because he was malnourished or because he was now a head taller than she was. He placed his hand on the top of her head lightly in response. “Welcome home!”
She pulled away from him, but kept her arms lightly around him. She saw Kakashi smiling at them out of the corner of her eye.
“When did you get back?” Sakura asked. Her heart was beating quickly. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to handle him telling her he had been home for longer than a day and hadn’t come to see her.
Sasuke’s eyes flicked to the clock on the wall and back to her. She tried not to smile when it seemed like his eyes were committing her face to memory. Like he was drinking in all the changes time had brought to her as well. “An hour ago.”
“Kakashi-senseeiiiii,” Naruto’s tired voice whined from the doorway. “Isn’t it illegal to summon a newlywed before seven in the morning?”
“It’s eight,” Kakashi pointed out.
Naruto’s eyes glinted deviously when he caught sight of Sakura beside Sasuke, her arms still lightly wrapped around his frame. “Sakura… Who is this?” Naruto teased. “Tsk tsk, what would Sasuke say—”
Sasuke turned his head to the side with a scowl on his face.
“Oh, shit, it is Sasuke!” Naruto yelled, rushing forward and tackling him. Sakura managed to pull away from Sasuke before Naruto made him pitch forward. His head knocked into the window as Naruto’s momentum brought them both to the ground.
“Idiot! Get off me!” Sasuke shouted.
“It’s been two years! I have to make up for lost time!” Naruto began rubbing his face up against Sasuke’s cheek. He so closely resembled a cat, Sakura half expected him to begin purring.
Sasuke, with some difficulty, wedged his hand between his face and Naruto’s and pushed him away.
“Never touch me again,” Sasuke warned, getting to his feet and kicking Naruto’s leg for good measure.
“You were letting Sakura touch you just a second ago!” Naruto whined. “How come I can’t?”
“Because her breath doesn’t smell like ramen.”
“So you’re saying I just need to brush my teeth, and I can touch you all I want?”
“No.”
“Or do I just need pink hair?”
“Would you like to lose another arm, Naruto?”
Sakura turned to look at Kakashi and they simultaneously rolled their eyes at the two boys squabbling.
“Alright, alright, pipe down you two,” Kakashi said, clapping his hands together.
“He started it,” Naruto grumbled.
“I started it?”
“Hokage speaking here—”
“Yeah, you said I have bad breath–”
“That’s because you do.”
“–and I was just trying to welcome my friend home–”
“By giving me a concussion?”
“Boys, important mission here.”
“–and this is the thanks I get?”
“I’m not going to thank you for rubbing your disgusting face on mine.”
“Hinata usually does.”
“Naruto!” Sakura yelled, punching him on the top of the head. He crumpled to the ground like a piece of paper.
“Anyway,” Kakashi said. “Sasuke returned to ask for some Konoha assistance with a cult he discovered. Naruto, he’s requested your help because your sage mode allows you to sense more than him, and he’s requested you, Sakura, for your chakra control and immunity to genjutsu.”
“He said I was better than him?” Naruto asked, jumping back to his feet, wounded pride forgotten.
“Personally, I think he just wanted a Team 7 reunion,” Kakashi said, ignoring Naruto’s interruption. “You leave immediately. The mission is in the Land of Fire, and will probably take the rest of the week. So, what do you say?” Kakashi said with a twinkle in his eye. “Are the three of you up for it?”
“Hell yeah!” Naruto shouted, pumping a fist in the air.
Three eyes fell on her, waiting for her response. Sakura felt her stomach bottom out.
“I-I have a meeting with potential funders for the clinic’s expansion tomorrow that I’ve been preparing for for months,” Sakura said, her hands nervously playing in the hem of her shirt. “And Thursday, I have interviews to conduct for future staff. I… I can’t go…”
She wanted so badly to join them. More than she wanted the sun in the sky or the air in her lungs.
But not more than she wanted this children’s clinic to flourish.
Naruto’s face fell. Sasuke let out a deep sigh, but his face showed no emotion.
“We can wait until next week to go, can’t we, Sasuke?” Naruto asked hopefully.
Sasuke shook his head. “I only know the meeting spot for tomorrow, and that took me three months to find. I’d have to start my search completely over if we miss it.”
“What do you think, Sasuke? Should I find someone to fill her spot?” Kakashi asked.
Sasuke considered this for a moment before shaking his head. “No. Anyone else would just get in the way.”
“That’s settled then,” Kakashi said. “The two of you will leave as soon as Naruto packs.”
“Next time,” Sasuke said, moving beside Sakura and poking her forehead once more.
She loved it and hated it. She wished there wouldn’t be a next time, that this would be the last time he walked out of her life.
Following the conclusion of their mission, Naruto had come home, but Sasuke had continued his journey, heading north, according to Naruto.
“Said something about promising to help the Raikage with a bunch of former rogue-nin Sasuke had sent his way as soon as the issue with the cult was taken care of.”
Sakura tried not to let her disappointment show, but she knew Naruto knew anyway.
After Sasuke’s rather abrupt return and departure, Sakura turned her attention right back to her children’s clinic. The funders invested, the council approved the expansion, she hired and began training five new medics, and began working with Yamato on the expansion.
Time moved so fast, Sakura wasn’t entirely sure she hadn’t just dreamed up Sasuke’s return.
And, four months later, Sakura was convinced she was once again dreaming when he showed up at her front door.
Weary was the first word that came to mind when she saw him. His whole body seemed to sag under the weight of it. He had cut his hair since she saw him four months ago and gotten rid of the headband. His hair was more reminiscent of when he was younger, though he had grown the bangs out to cover his Rinnegan.
“Welcome back!” She greeted with a smile, stepping to the side to let him in without him having to ask. And, perhaps she was seeing what she wanted to see, but it seemed as if some of the fatigue left him at the sight of her.
But, ever the boy raised by a well respected clan, he readjusted his weight to his other foot instead of stepping inside. “Naruto mentioned you still have an extra room?”
“I do,” Sakura beamed at his implication. Needing her extra room meant staying longer than an hour this time. She opened the door wider. “Come in. Have you eaten yet? I was just sitting down to dinner, but I’ve got plenty if you’re hungry. But if you were planning on seeing Naruto after making sure I had room, that’s fine too.”
Sasuke’s lip twitched into a hint of a smile, and Sakura realized she was rambling. He stepped inside and slipped off his shoes and cloak.
“He sensed my chakra and accosted me at the gates,” Sasuke admitted with a roll of his eyes while he unbuckled his scabbard from his belt. Sakura was pleased to note the sword she gifted him was still in pristine condition. “He tried to convince me to walk him home.”
“Awww, I bet he was hoping for a goodnight kiss,” Sakura teased.
“Unless you mean knocking him out, he would have been sorely disappointed.” He used his teeth to unbuckle the forearm brace he wore before placing it neatly with his other things. “And I haven’t eaten, no.”
He followed Sakura quietly into her kitchen and let out a sigh as he dropped to sit at her chabudai. Once seated, Sakura began dishing him a plate of food. “I’m afraid my cooking hasn’t improved much, but it’s at least warm.”
“I haven’t eaten a real home cooked meal in over two years. I’m sure it’s great.”
Sakura felt a pang of sadness for him. He seemed to notice and added, “I ate at plenty of inns and restaurants, Sakura. It’s just not the same.”
“I’m sure it’s better.”
“I’m sure it’s not.”
Blushing, Sakura began tucking into her ochazuke. Sasuke followed suit.
“I have a washer and dryer, if there are any clothes you want to wash while you’re here.”
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, I know it’s an unnecessary expense, but with how quickly I was going through scrubs at work, it was either buy a dryer or learn some wind jutsu from Naruto to speed up the drying process.”
“Sounds like it was a necessary expense then. If you really don’t mind, I’ll start a load after dinner.”
Sakura nodded and they lapsed into a brief silence.
“How has your journey been, Sasuke?”
Sasuke paused and tapped his chopsticks on the side of his bowl thoughtfully. “I’ve learned a lot. I feel… better, lighter.”
“I’m so glad,” Sakura smiled at him from across the table. “Does that mean your journey is almost done?”
She tried not to get her hopes up that his answer would be yes. But seeing him again, and seeing how much more at ease he was in the village he hated, it was hard not to.
He looked down at his bowl and poked at his food. “Not quite.”
“Oh,” Sakura’s shoulders sagged.
“Being here isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be,” Sasuke confessed. “While I can’t stay yet, I plan on visiting more often for now.”
Sakura perked back up. “What brought you back this time? Or did you just want a subpar homecooked meal”
Sasuke looked down at his bowl, hiding a soft smile. Sakura saw it anyway. When he schooled his features back into his typical blank facade, he looked up at Sakura again. “I was in Kumo for a few months. I offered to help with the influx of new citizens I gave them, and then the Raikage invited me to stay longer.”
“The Raikage invited you?” Sasuke only nodded in response. “Sasuke, that’s huge!”
In the Raikage’s eyes, Sasuke had still been public enemy number one. That he had softened to the young Uchiha was a massive win for Sasuke’s atonement.
“While I was there, I saw Choji. He was visiting Karui, and they invited me to dinner with them. It was… Nice. I was finally around someone who knew me, and that I wasn’t having to win over or convince I had changed, and I realized I had missed that.” Sasuke shrugged lightly. “Choji asked me if I wanted to travel back to Konoha with him, and I found myself agreeing before I even really knew what he was asking.”
“Does that mean you’re staying for a while?” Sakura put her chopsticks on her bowl, her meal finished. Resting her elbows on the table, she propped her chin in the palms of her hands and leaned towards him.
Sasuke shook his head, and she felt her heart sink.
“I’m leaving in the morning.” Noticing her disappointment, he added, “I had originally planned to stay a while and see what I could help with around here, but Kakashi had a message waiting for me at the gate to investigate a dimension shifting disturbance in a nearby village.” His words just made her more disappointed that he wasn’t staying. To know she would have had him for a few weeks but was now only getting him for a few hours was a punch to the gut.
Sakura noted his empty bowl. “Would you like more?”
Sasuke looked down at his bowl, then back at her, and nodded. Sakura smiled. “If it’s okay with you, I can go ahead and get your laundry started while you eat?”
Sasuke said nothing, but nodded again. Getting to her feet, Sakura served him seconds before grabbing his pack and cloak. She noted a slight flush on his cheeks and wondered if the Konoha summer heat was getting to him. On her way to the bathroom with the washer, Sakura bumped her air unit a few degrees lower for him.
“Your med pack was horribly understocked,” Sakura said accusingly. “I took the liberty of restocking it for you.”
Sakura’s apartment had private roof access, and she had told Sasuke she would meet him up there as soon as she was finished waging war with some of the stains on his clothes. Honestly, how did someone manage to stain an all black wardrobe so completely? He had offered to do it, but Sakura had waved him off. She was fully taking advantage of being able to help Sasuke in some small way.
“Were you snooping?” Sasuke asked, one eyebrow quirked.
Sakura shrugged, completely unbothered. “You can’t expect a medical shinobi to not check how well stocked a med pack is when they see one.” She sat down next to him on the roof and stared out at the sunset. “Besides, it was at the very top of your pack. If you ask me, you were practically begging me to check it.”
Sasuke glanced at her out of the corner of his eye with a smirk on his lips. “You have a nice view up here.”
“I know, right?” Sakura smiled. “I got really lucky that it was available. Half the time when I go to work, I take the roof instead of my front door.”
“Your apartment is nice too, Sakura,” Sasuke said. “Homey.”
Inexplicably, Sakura’s face turned beat red. Sasuke Uchiha thought her apartment felt homey. He felt at home with her.
Play it cool, Sakura. It’s just a thing people say.
“Thank you,” she managed to squeak out.
Sasuke looked at her again and let out a little huff of amusement before looking back at the sunset.
“I’ll only be gone for two weeks at the most,” Sasuke said suddenly, still watching the sunset. “Then I’ll be back. If you’ll have me.”
Sakura looked at Sasuke again with a soft smile. “You’re always welcome here, Sasuke.”
Turning to look at her, he offered a soft smile of his own.
“A little birdy told me they saw Sasuke Uchiha exit your apartment at sunrise this morning,” Ino said casually. She stirred her matcha tea and tried to school her face into a neutral appearance, but Sakura could see right through her. “Walk of shame much?”
“You think if Sasuke Uchiha left my apartment in a walk of shame I wouldn’t have been knocking your door down right after?” Sakura asked with one eyebrow raised. “I might have even given up cuddling in bed after to go tell you.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” Ino said. Ino had promptly kicked Sai out after their first time so she could give Sakura all the nitty gritty details. So many details in fact that Sakura felt like she had been a voyeur in the room with them. She couldn’t look at Sai for a month after.
“He just stayed in my guest room,” Sakura said with a sigh.
“Well that’s not exciting in the slightest,” Ino sighed, resting her chin on her palm and continuing to thoughtlessly stir her tea.
“At least now he knows my apartment is always open for him,” Sakura said with a shrug, though she shared Ino’s disappointment.
A few weeks later, Sakura received her first letter from Sasuke ever. The disturbance had led to a trail of related incidents in the land of fire, and he would be unable to return any time soon like he initially thought.
Her first letter from him, and it was just an apology.
Three months later, a quiet thump on the roof woke Sakura up from where she was sleeping on the couch. Shortly after, the sound of the door in her ceiling leading to the roof opened quietly. Recognizing the chakra signature, Sakura wasn’t very concerned when a body dropped quietly to the floor a second later.
“Sasuke,” Sakura hissed, leaning over the back of the couch to get his attention before he could open the guest room door. He turned to look at her mildly surprised that she was on the couch in the middle of the night. She waved her hand across her neck in a slicing motion, indicating he should stop what he was doing and gestured for him to come to her instead.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered, standing at the back of the couch.
“My parents are here along with my aunt and uncle,” Sakura whispered. A look of comprehension dawned on Sasuke’s face. “Could you not sense them in the guest room?”
“I wasn’t checking,” he intoned. “I’ll just go to Naruto’s.”
He made to leave, but Sakura grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “He’s in a studio apartment until his and Hinata’s house is finished. Besides, do you really want to stay with newlyweds when he just got back from a four day mission earlier today?”
Sasuke let out a slow sigh. “Kakashi’s couch then.”
Sakura shook her head. “His apartment building is being fumigated. He’s staying at Guy sensei’s house for the time being.”
“Willfully, or is he being held hostage?”
“Mostly the latter I believe.”
“I see,” Sasuke said. “I’ll go to the inn then.”
“That’s a waste of money,” Sakura insisted.
“It’s not a waste of money if it means I don’t have to sleep outside,” Sasuke said.
“You can just sleep with me,” Sakura said, hoping his Rinnegan couldn’t see how red her face was. “In the living room.” She added hastily. “I have a spare futon in the hall closet.” When her palms began to sweat, she realized she was still holding his hand. She released him immediately, hoping he hadn’t noticed that either.
Sasuke moved to the hall closet and returned with the rolled up futon. He unfurled it right beside the couch, and Sakura allowed herself a small smile at the proximity he chose. There was plenty of space in the living area. He didn’t have to put it so close to her
“How long are you here for this time?” Sakura asked, resting her head on her arm and staring down at him as he settled in beside her. She already knew the answer.
“Just tonight,” Sasuke said, single hand tucked under his head as he stared up at the ceiling.
“Still investigating dimensional overlaps?” Sakura asked, rolling onto her back as well.
“Aa. It appears to be a bigger issue than I originally thought.” Reading in between the lines, Sakura knew that meant he had no idea how long it would take him to finish the mission. “But my investigation was taking me right by Konoha...”
Silence enveloped them, interrupted occasionally by her uncle’s snores from the guest room.
“Do you have time for breakfast before you go?” Sakura asked, trying to keep the hopefulness out of her voice.
Sasuke glanced towards her before looking back at the ceiling. “I have time for breakfast.”
“This was nice,” Sakura said as they exited the tea shop. “We should do breakfast out before you leave more often.”
Sasuke hummed in agreement. Sakura expected him to make the first move in leaving (he had told her he had a meeting with Kakashi that morning), but he didn’t. She would have been content to just wait for him to leave first, but she checked her watch and nearly gasped at the time.
“I need to get to the hospital before they send out a search—”
“Come with me,” Sasuke interrupted.
“What?” Sakura asked, her jaw falling to the floor.
“Come with me,” Sasuke said again.
Sakura was completely caught off guard. Sasuke wasn’t one to just spontaneously do something. Had he been planning to ask her this whole time? Or had he really just asked her to join him in the spur of the moment?
Even so, it didn’t change the fact that she simply couldn’t go with him.
While the expansion of the Children’s Clinic was finished and the practice was running without needing much help from her, the hospital was a different story. Finally perfecting her Senju Prosthetics, Tsunade was planning an extended trip to share the knowledge with all of the Hidden Villages in the Shinobi Alliance, leaving Sakura in charge of the hospital in her absence.
“I-I can’t,” Sakura said, already feeling the sting of tears at the admission.
She watched the muscle in Sasuke’s jaw flex as he turned his eyes away from her with a nod.
It was so unfair. So unfair. All she had ever wanted was to stay by Sasuke’s side. It had been her dearest wish since the academy. And now, life was mocking her. Dangling it in her face in a time when she simply couldn’t go.
“I-I can’t leave the hospital right now,” Sakura explained, blinking rapidly, willing the tears to recede. “Tsunade is leaving me in charge while she travels…”
“I understand,” Sasuke said stiffly, still not quite looking at her.
Sakura grabbed his arm and stepped closer to him. “But you have to know how much I want to, Sasuke.”
He looked at her then, a sad, almost smile on his face. He raised his hand and wiped at a tear on her cheek. “I know, Sakura.”
“He asked you to come with him?” Ino shrieked over their lunch break. “And you said no?!”
Sakura felt a fresh sting of tears in her eyes. “I didn’t want to say no, Ino.”
“Oh, Sakura,” Ino said, extending her hand across the table to squeeze Sakura’s. “I know you didn’t. I’m sorry. This is just… huge.”
“Ino told me about Sasuke’s offer,” Tsunade said by way of greeting, entering Sakura’s office as she was packing up for the day.
“Oh,” Sakura said, feeling slightly embarrassed. “It’s okay, Tsunade, I already told him no.”
Tsunade said nothing, just walked to Sakura’s bookshelf while Sakura continued adding files to her filing cabinet.
“It’s hard isn’t it?” Tsunade asked, turning to look at Sakura over her shoulder.
“Huh?” Sakura asked, pausing in rewriting a note she had made in one of the files into something legible.
“Living with your heart outside of your body,” Tsunade continued. “It’s hard, isn’t it?”
Sakura let out a breath and sagged in defeat. “The part of my heart that’s with him has been away from me for years, Lady Tsunade. I’m used to it.”
Tsunade said nothing for a moment. Then, “Perhaps it’s time you spent some time with that piece of your heart then.”
Sakura bit back the response that that was all she wished for, but wishing didn’t change the fact that she couldn't.
“I gave Dan all of me when he was alive.” Tsunade slowly made her way towards Sakura’s side. “I’ve never regretted the time I gave him for a single moment. If I had failed to give him all of me, I think it would have made his death even harder. Then, after his death, I gave the village all I had.”
Sakura would be lying if she said she knew where Tsunade was going with this conversation.
“What are you trying to say, Lady Tsunade?”
“I’m saying go be with the man you love.”
“Lady Tsunade, I can’t just leave. You’re about to go on your journey, and I’m supposed to be in charge while you’re gone.”
“You forget that I once left the village for many years after my own war.”
Sakura stared dumbfounded at Tsunade. At her continued silence, Tsunade rolled her eyes at Sakura.
“You aren’t that important, Sakura. The village will be fine without you. It is no one person holding it together. And if it is, then we’ve failed in our duty to it.”
“But I can’t just leave when—”
Tsunade let out a frustrated sigh. “You can. I’ll set your affairs in order and will delay my journey until I feel the hospital is well taken care of in our absence.”
“But I don’t even know where he is.”
Tsunade looked up at the clock. “Knowing Kakashi, he was late to his meeting with Sasuke. I would estimate he’s just now leaving the village.”
“Lady Tsunade, I’m not even packed! I’ll never catch up to him!”
“Well it’s a good thing your mother and Ino spent all afternoon packing for you then,” Tsunade smiled, summoning a pack into her hands.
Sakura felt tears burn in her eyes. Putting her files down, she rushed forward and threw her arms around Tsunade.
“Thank you.”
Tsunade hugged her back before pushing her away. “Hurry up before you lose him.”
The air was cold in the late November afternoon. Sakura’s breath misted in front of her as she sprinted along the rooftops. The gates came into view, and she didn’t see Sasuke’s familiar black cloak in the immediate vicinity. She slowed her pace and Kotetsu pointed towards the gates without looking up from the book he was reading. She jumped up into the trees and sped up again.
Just when she was sure she had really missed him, she spotted black just below her.
“Sasuke!” Sakura shouted, jumping to the ground.
Sasuke turned around and didn’t bother to hide the shock on his face. Sakura hunched over and propped her hands on her knees taking deep breaths. He looked from her to the pack on her back, and his lip twitched briefly into something that might have been a smile.
“Can… Can I,” Sakura gulped down air, trying to get the words out, still hunched over. She hadn’t realized how out of shape she had gotten. “Can I still come with—”
Before she could finish, Sasuke had flash-stepped in front of her. He crouched down to her level, cupped her cheek in his hand, and kissed her.
Sakura’s eyes widened in shock, and before she could kiss him back, he pulled away.
“I love you,” he said, still cupping her cheek. Sakura dropped fully to her knees and threw her arms around him, tears stinging her eyes. Sasuke shifted to his knees as well and moved his hand to fist in her hair, pushing her more firmly to his chest. She felt him kiss the side of her head. “I love you,” he said again into her hair.
Sakura found herself laughing as she fisted her hands in his cloak. Of course he wouldn't tell her that until he knew she would be coming with him. It wasn’t like Sasuke to tell her something as important as that only to leave her, or worse, use it as leverage to change her mind into joining him.
She wondered how long he had loved her without saying anything.
He rested his face in the crook of her neck, and she would swear she felt him smile against her.
It hit her then. She was going with him. This was not some temporary arrangement. Keeping her by his side was something he wanted to do from now on. She would finally witness him age. She would know when it was he started getting wrinkles around his mouth from smiling instead of frowning. To know how old he was when he got his first gray hair and to know it was probably because of her. This was a gift she would never take for granted.
Fisting her hand in his hair, she pulled his face away from her neck and brought his lips back to hers. She felt a puff of air across her face as he huffed a laugh through his nose, but he returned the kiss with equal fervor.