Chapter Text
“Are we there yet?” Ace chimed, dragging out the vowels as loudly as he could manage.
“Not yet,” Sabo muttered, rubbing his temples in exhaustion.
A heavy silence followed. Ace twiddled his thumbs, inspected his fingernails and painstakingly readjusted his sunglasses. Once they were straight, he turned his attention to Old Hag, making sure the stuffed rabbit’s dark lenses were equally aligned over its black glass eyes.
“Are we—”
“Ask that one more time and I will lock you in a barrel!” Sabo barked, whirling round to glare at him. “Have some patience, would you? You’re mentally twenty-one years old.”
“But I’m actually a kid,” Ace said, tapping his chest with a thumb. “I’m seven.”
“And I just said you’re mentally twenty-one, for God’s sake!” Sabo shouted, exasperated. “Getting de-aged by a bloody creature doesn’t mean you have to regression-roleplay your way through our afternoon!”
“Can you blame me?” Ace asked, staring into the space slightly above Sabo’s head. “My dad died before I was even born, my mum held me in her womb so long it killed her and then my granddad abandoned me in the woods with bandits who fed me crocodile meat. I missed out on a normal childhood. This is therapeutic.”
“If you bring up your daddy issues again, I will tie you to the anchor,” Sabo warned, his eyes narrowing.
Ace gave an almost saintly smile. “I’m just being open, Sabo. Communication is key to self-improvement.”
“If your idea of communication is spewing pseudo-intellectual nonsense while looking like a glorified doll, then you can take your self-improvement and stick it right up your—” Sabo choked back the rest of his sentence at the last second, taking a sharp breath. Arguing with Ace in this state was like trying to fight a wet sack of kittens; even if you won, you still looked like an irredeemable monster.
Swallowing his pride, Sabo released a sound like a deflating balloon, sank deep into his seat and hoisted his newspaper up so high it completely obscured his view of the deck.
Ace gave Old Hag’s stuffed foot a subtle, victorious high-five. “Unstoppable,” Ace whispered to the toy. “My cuteness is an impenetrable fortress. He never stood a chance.”
Then, Ace scanned the main deck. It felt bizarre watching his crew take orders from an outsider.
Right now, the Spades had stripped him of his captaincy under the guise of ‘enforced rest and recuperation’, handing the reins straight to Sabo. Ace marvelled at the absurdity of it all. Did the Revolutionary Army simply not have paperwork, or was Sabo just neglecting global liberation duties to play babysitter?
The ship was cutting through unfamiliar waters, but every time Ace asked for their coordinates, he was met with a brick wall. Deuce had winked, offering a warm smile before saying, “A captain on medical leave doesn’t get to look at the sea charts. Let us take you to a little secret paradise we have prepared.”
Medical leave?
It had been almost four bloody years since Old Hag kicked him into childhood, and he had done just fine, thank you very much! He was an Emperor of the Sea! The world feared the name of the Chibi Captain of the Spade Pirates! He had literally defeated Whitebeard himself—a victory earned, regardless of whether it hinged on threatening to set the old man’s prized moustache ablaze.
Medical leave was uncalled for. In fact, if anyone on this ship needed medical leave, it was the crew for their collective brain damage.
Ace let out a resigned huff. Whatever.
Currently, it was just a little bit frustrating not knowing where they were heading, but he could not bring himself to be suspicious. Knowing his crew, they were probably steering them towards some hidden island to pamper him senseless. His pride had taken a back seat weeks ago, considering that if being a de-aged kid meant he could break every rule and manipulate everyone into pampering him, he was going to enjoy every single second of it.
Ace scooped Old Hag up by her floppy ears. He then walked across the deck toward Sabo. He hoisted himself onto the arm of the wicker chair and wriggled straight into Sabo’s lap, physically pushing the newspaper down with a tiny hand to demand attention.
Sabo set the newspaper down on the side table altogether, using both hands to catch Ace and shift him into a comfortable position. “Do you possess any sense of decorum at all?” Sabo asked, raising an eyebrow. “You are a grown man in your head.”
Ace picked up the discarded paper from the table, holding it up to skim the bold black lettering of the main stories. “I am a kid with an adult brain and severe emotional regression,” Ace corrected without missing a beat. “And why are you acting so outraged? You hold me all the time. You drag me around like a giant teddy bear. You secretly enjoy this because I’m soft, squishy and cute.”
Sabo looped his arms loosely around Ace’s waist, giving him a flat look. “I admire your boundless modesty. You really are having the time of your life manipulating everyone, are you not?”
Nevertheless, Sabo leaned down, resting his cheek directly on the crown of Ace’s head affectionately. He could not even deny it. Having Ace as a de-aged child was far too sweet, even if he was technically a dangerous, high-bounty menace.
Ace rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses. “Call me a manipulator all you like,” he grunted, eyes flicking over the column inches. “You don’t have to endure my presence if it causes you such distress. You could always stop sleeping in my cabin.” After all, they had been sailing for a full month now, and Sabo had not spent a single night in his own bed. He had crawled into Ace’s sheets every night without fail, proving beyond a doubt that he was secretly the biggest needy cuddler on the ship.
“Not going to happen,” Sabo stated, resting his chin back on top of Ace’s head. “We’re brothers, Ace. We shared a bed every night growing up—whether it was the futons at Dadan’s or the wooden floor of our treehouse with Luffy. Now that you’re little again, I’m not letting you sleep by yourself.”
Ace silently scanned the paper, his scowl deepening at the utterly dry contents. A boring political speech from a World Government official, a routine navy patrol report and some useless weather predictions.
Pushing the paper away onto the deck table, Ace looked up at Sabo. “Seven is not a toddler. I can sleep in my own bed. Before I even knew you or Luffy existed, I slept by myself every night and survived just fine.”
Sabo smirked. “Did you not just inform me that you are making up for lost time and pursuing a normal childhood? I’m just doing my part to accommodate your emotional journey.”
Ace swung his legs back and forth, digging his fingers into Old Hag’s worn plush fur as he glared up at his brother. “You’re such a hypocrite.”
“I’m no hypocrite,” Sabo replied. “A hypocrite tries to hide their inconsistency. I just possess double standards. I can set the rules for everyone else, but I naturally reserve the right to be the exception.”
“Fascinating,” Ace said, his voice flat. “I’m so reassured to learn that the Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army—the man fighting for world liberation—is such a humble, generous soul.”
“If I had to look at your ugly twenty-one-year-old face right now, I would punch you straight into the Milky Way,” Sabo said, squeezing Ace tightly. “Lucky for you, you’re far too cute right now, so you get a free pass.” Then, Sabo squeezed Ace even harder, burying his face in Ace’s hair. “By the Seven Seas... Ace. Maybe you were right, though. This whole situation isn’t just giving you a childhood—it feels like it is fixing something broken in me, too.”
Ace burst out laughing. “You have to admit it’s funny! Look at how wild and divergent this entire narrative became, simply because I got de-aged by Old Hag!”
“Ace, stop it,” Sabo chided, quickly covering Ace’s mouth with his palm. “No breaking the fourth wall, and definitely no talking about the fic or the author. Stick to the script.” He then quickly searched for a distraction before Ace went any further. “How is Old Hag doing, by the way? Is she getting too old to keep up with us?”
Ace pulled Sabo’s hand away and leaned back comfortably against his chest. “Oh, she’s okay. She was staying with Dad for a bit over on Red Force, but then Thatch came by and begged to bring her over to Moby Dick. Thatch worships Old Hag like she is some kind of rabbit goddess. Which, to be fair, is not far from the truth, considering she is a legendary Pokémon from another dimension who granted us the ability to break the fourth wall and see alternate timelines. She literally saved Thatch’s life by letting us figure out Teach’s plot before he could do anything.”
Sabo shuddered, rubbing at the goosebumps breaking out on his forearms. “That level of devotion from Thatch is proper creepy, man. I don’t think that it’s healthy. I’m fully expecting the Whitebeard Pirates to officially register as a rabbit-worshipping cult any day now.”
“A cult is the least of her problems,” Ace said, shaking his head. “What we really need to worry about is Old Hag’s diet. If Thatch keeps feeding her, she is going to eat herself into a coma, refuse to exercise and get ridiculously fat. She is already old enough as it is—adding obesity to the list is just asking for trouble!”
“You make a valid point,” Sabo admitted, stroking his chin. “No one actually knows her true age, but she must be ridiculously old. Overfeeding a legendary creature is just asking for a health crisis.”
“Exactly,” Ace said, hugging his plush rabbit. “She is the Spade Pirates’ beloved mascot! Since she can’t be here with us on the ship, Old Hag the stuffed rabbit has to fill in as her substitute.”
Right on cue, Banshee wheeled a serving cart over to their deck chairs, humming a light tune. “Snacks time!” she called out, offering them a warm smile. “The Nam Dok Mai mangoes we gathered a few days back are finally ripe, so I went ahead and made some Khao Niao Mamuang.”
Ace kicked his feet with glee, bouncing on Sabo’s lap. “Awesome! I love Khao Niao Mamuang!”
Sabo sighed softly, shaking his head. “It boggles the mind how we manage to find specific Thai ingredients floating around the Grand Line,” he murmured. “Then again, it’s a vast universe, so I suppose the author can do whatever pops into their head.”
Banshee handed Ace a little bowl filled with sweet mango and coconut sticky rice. Ace took a big spoonful, then turned to Sabo with a raised eyebrow. “Is that a complaint I hear? Did you not just lecture me five minutes ago about breaking the fourth wall?”
Sabo nodded his thanks to Banshee as she placed his bowl on the side table, keeping his hands free to hold his little brother. “Not a complaint in the slightest,” Sabo replied easily. “Thai food’s fantastic, and I’ll gladly eat it. I’m simply commenting on how much fun the author is having running wild with this fic. Besides, double standards rule supreme. I’m allowed to break the fourth wall because I do it smoothly, whereas you just destroy the immersion.”
Banshee let out an amused laugh. “You’re talking in circles, Chief. Shattering the fourth wall ruins the immersion by default. There is no magical way to make it un-broken.”
“There’s when I handle it,” Sabo said. “In a narrative that effortlessly balances pure crack energy with genuine emotional stakes, my fourth-wall breaks fit perfectly.”
Ace rolled his eyes, utterly unamused. “This topic is so boring. Banshee, can I get some orange juice, please? And do we have any updates on Luffy’s crew? Where on earth are they? They caused a massive storm leaving Wano, but it has been three months without a single peep.”
With his spoon tucked into his mouth, Ace looked over at Banshee, only to catch her rigid expression. A cold drop of sweat rolled down her sideburn. Ace tilted his head in confusion, feeling Sabo’s frame also go rigid as a board behind him. What the hell was wrong with both of them? Was Luffy in danger?
Banshee let out a high, jittery laugh, her hands clutching the handles of her cart. “Haha, oh, not at all! Luffy is super okay, Captain! Totally fine! I actually received a quick message from their navigator recently. They’re just wildly busy rescuing people, battling monsters and getting swept up in brand-new adventures! They said they will definitely call the moment they take a proper rest!”
“Oh...” It still felt wrong. Luffy had been quiet for far too long. Ever since he defeated Kaido and Big Mom, turned into that white-haired Nika form and completely wrecked Egghead, he had dropped off the face of the earth. Ace shoved the last bite of mango sticky rice into his mouth, passing the empty bowl to Banshee for seconds while keeping his spoon tightly in hand. “Luffy is such a pain. Is he actually ignoring us?”
Sabo let out a stiff, panicked laugh, wrapping his arms a little tighter around Ace to hide his own fidgeting. “Well, you know how Luffy is, right? Luffy is just Luffy. He’s probably running around having fun somewhere! Besides, his Vivre Card’s still intact, so we know for a fact he isn’t dying or in trouble!”
“Hah, right,” Ace said flatly. He wanted to question Sabo’s hasty explanation, but stopped short, his gut telling him something was amiss. The atmosphere was thick with unspoken panic.
Seeing Deuce walking along the quarterdeck, Ace scrambled off Sabo’s lap without a word, clutched Old Hag under his arm and marched over to him. “Deuce! Has there been any news about Luffy?”
His right eye twitched as he picked up on the sheer panic radiating behind him. Sabo and Banshee were practically burning holes into Deuce with their frantic, silent glares, begging him with their eyes to handle the situation.
Deuce looked momentarily baffled by the intense pressure, but quickly caught on, crouching down with an easy smile. “Luffy is having the time of his life, Captain” he replied. “Their navigator dropped a short note recently. They’re just caught up in a massive chain of adventures, liberating islands and getting hopelessly lost as usual. They promised to contact us as soon as they drop anchor somewhere peaceful.”
“Oh, I see...” So, Luffy’s crew was really having an utterly chaotic voyage, which explained the sudden radio silence.
Deuce reached out, giving Ace’s head a warm pat while chuckling. “No need to look so glum, Cap. Luffy is fine and cause for zero concern. Why the sudden worry?”
Ace pulled Old Hag close, burying his face in her soft white fur for a moment. Honestly, he wondered why he was so worried in the first place. His Haki had grown much stronger over the years, and his intuition was not screaming that Luffy was in danger. Besides, the ultimate proof was Luffy’s Vivre Card—whole, undamaged and resting safely in his pocket.
Ace shook his head, pulling his face out of the plush rabbit to look up at Deuce. “I guess I just miss him. We have never had radio silence for this long.”
Deuce stopped patting, though his hand remained gently resting on Ace’s curls. “I understand, Ace. If I had a brother like Luffy, I would probably be worried all the time—mostly for the people around him.” Ace could not help a small smile from tugging at his lips. Deuce smiled back, adding, “Besides, you two went years without contact after you set sail at seventeen, so—”
“That was not the same,” Ace said. “That was just us starting our separate paths. Now, we’re both infamous captains with our own crews, and we have direct Den Den Mushi lines to each other. We always keep in touch. It feels wrong not hearing his voice, especially when no one will even tell me where our own ship is sailing. Seriously, Deuce, where are we heading?”
Ace caught the sudden, subtle shift in Deuce’s expression before his first mate quickly recovered. Huh, strange, Ace thought. What is wrong with everyone today? Why is everyone keeping secrets?
Deuce let out a light laugh. “Well, Captain, we are—”
“You’re not taking me to some boring baby daycare island, are you?” Ace interrupted, his eyes narrowing. “Or worse, handing me over to a Marine retirement home?!”
Deuce immediately held both hands. “No, Ace! No! Nothing like that! If it makes you feel better, we’re taking you to a cool island full of adventure. But it’s a special surprise for you, so my lips are sealed!”
Sabo slid into the conversation, effortlessly lifting Ace into a one-armed carry.
Unbelievable, Ace sighed in his own mind. My dignity as a grown, formidable man does not stand a chance against my brothers. Sabo and Luffy act like it is a holiday that I became a child, taking every opportunity to baby me. But whatever. Weaponising this status is the greatest advantage I have ever had, so I will let it slide.
“There is no need to be anxious, Ace,” Sabo reassured him, resting a hand against his back. “I am sorry for not picking up on your worrying, though. I should have reassured you from the start.”
Ace wrinkled his nose, resting his head comfortably against Sabo’s collarbone while clutching Old Hag. “Yeah, fine, whatever. It’s no big deal. I was just overthinking. You know I trust you guys... but I’m warning you, if this island has a daycare with babysitters, I’m going to be extremely angry with everyone.”
Sabo laughed aloud, shifting his weight to bounce Ace higher, making it easier for the seven-year-old to hold on while cuddling his stuffed rabbit. “Right then, let’s get back to our Khao Niao Mamuang before—”
“Land ho! Island spotted off the starboard bow!” the lookout shouted. “Wait, captain! There’s a ship already anchored shore-side! It’s the Thousand Sunny!”
Sabo chuckled softly, turning Ace toward the bow. “Well, speak of the devil, Ace.” He smiled playfully. “It seems we arrived just in time for a party. And trust me, you are going to want to celebrate this one—our little brother just accomplished something that puts him at the absolute top of the world.”
Wait, what?