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That was it, it was finally the day.
Today, Nakamura Okuto was going to make a move on Hirose Aiki, finally.
He set everything ready: tonight, at prom, as soon as the romantic song would start playing, he would ask him to dance, Hirose would shyly accept, and as they swayed along the rhythm, Nakamura would once and for all declare his love. At that point Hirose would get all red and embarrassed, but then he would reciprocate his feelings and as they kissed everyone would cheer them up with confetti streamers.
It was perfect!
Nakamura giggled as he curled up in a ball and rolled on his bed, still wearing his pajamas, too excited and immersed in his daydreaming to notice it was getting late and he had to get ready.
After taking a warm shower (and using his mother's expensive products to make sure he smelled nice) he put on tons of deodorant and perfume to the point it was almost impossible to breathe next to him.
He looked at the suit he bought the previous month. He searched everywhere in town for the perfect one and, in the end, he found it.
He put on a white shirt and the turquoise jacket and pants. As for the tie, he chose a red one along with black shoes.
It was the moment.
_____________________
The school gym was full of students, colorful flashing lights, and deafening music. He looked around, searching for Hirose, but he couldn't find him anywhere.
Could it be? Maybe he didn't come. Was he even the type who went to school prom? Maybe he was at home with no intention of coming.
Or worse.
What if he already had someone to dance with? He never asked him if he planned on going to prom during the school year, and had never thought of asking him if he already had a partner.
Nakamura froze at the mere idea of having done all of this for nothing. His hands started sweating and he had to wipe them on his pants.
He forced himself to take a deep breath and walk towards the buffet.
It was a long table full of snacks and drinks.
He took a red paper cup and poured himself a glass of juice.
As he brought the cup to his mouth and took the first sip, he felt an unexpected slap on his back that made him choke on the drink and cough violently.
«Hey Nakamura! Oh- shoot, sorry»
The guy who slapped him now was patting him gently on the back to help him breathe again.
Nakamura knew that voice. He knew that hand.
He turned around and saw him.
He actually came! Hirose was there!
Nakamura wanted nothing more than to scream out of joy and start jumping around, but of course he couldn't.
He tried to play it cool as he cleared his throat.
«Hey to you, too»
«I didn't expect to see you here! I thought you didn't like crowded places»
«Uh yeah well, uhh I didn't want to miss this amazing party, y'know…»
He didn't know what to say. He couldn't even think. He could feel his face getting warmer just by looking at him.
Hirose was wearing a yellow suit and around his neck he had a turquoise tie.
Nakamura's heart skipped a beat.
Hirose's tie was the same color as his suit. They were matching. Could it be just a coincidence?
He shook his head.
«So uh…» He tried not to stutter too much.
«Are you alone…? No partner?»
«Nope»
Hirose answered with a smile as he also took a cup of the same juice of Nakamura.
Nakamura watched him closely before looking around the gym.
«Not even with your friends?»
«I mean, they're here but… I want to spend some time with you, too, Nakamura»
…
Nakamura stopped feeling the ground under his feet and he thought he was falling into a void.
He stood completely still, frozen, his eyes staring in space as he gripped the cup tightly to anchor himself to reality.
Internally, he was freaking out.
Yet for a moment his eyes held a sparkle for the first time in the whole evening.
«O-oh… heh, yeah, cool»
Cool?!
Nakamura's hand started to tremble.
Hirose chugged down the cup of juice and sighed satisfied.
«Do you want to go dancing?»
Wha-
Nakamura's eyes widened.
What?! Now?! It's not the right time! What about the song?! I should've asked first! I was about to go for it!
He listened in closely.
Dancing Queen by ABBA.
This wasn't the romantic song he had in mind.
Should he reject him? Should he accept either way?
He was in a turmoil. This wasn't according to plans.
He cleared his throat.
«I don't know how to dance»
«It’s okay! Me neither! We can learn together»
Nakamura couldn't stop thinking about how cute he was.
Screw it!
«Yeah… okay…»
As soon as he said those words, Hirose immediately grabbed his wrist and dragged him where other students were dancing.
Nakamura didn't even have time to place his cup on the table. The rush with which he was grabbed and dragged away caused the cup to fall from his hand and the juice to spill all over the floor next to the buffet table.
Honestly, he couldn't care less about the juice.
He looked at Hirose with mesmerized eyes as he let go of his wrist just to take both of Nakamura’s hands and start dancing along to the music and laughing.
Nakamura couldn't hear the music, though. He was too focused on the boy dancing in front of him, full of energy. He looked as bright as the sun, his laugh filled his ears like a melody, and Nakamura remembered in that moment just how much he was in love with him.
He smiled too and followed his move dances.
This wasn't what he had planned so meticulously. It wasn't romantic.
But he was dancing with Hirose. Anything else didn't matter anymore.
Gradually, he could finally hear the music again and he got lost in it. He got lost in the moment and didn't even realize how his own hands were holding Hirose's tightly.
He was just so happy.
When the song ended, they were both breathing heavily and smiling. Hirose slowly let go of Nakamura's hands
«That was fun… see? You're not a bad dancer»
Hirose walked towards the buffet table.
«Let’s eat something»
Hirose and Nakamura sat next to each other on two chairs placed next to the buffet table, holding small plastic plates of food on their lap.
They were in awkward silence.
Or rather, Nakamura felt embarrassed by the quiet tension between them. He wanted to say something, starting a conversation, but he had no idea what to say.
Hirose, on the other hand, seemed unbothered by the silence. Even relaxed. He was looking around the gym and every now and then he would wave at his friends among the crowd.
Nakamura clenched his fists and stared at the untouched food on the plate on his lap, his whole body tensing as he silently debated what to say.
Hirose looked at him.
«Are you not hungry?»
«Uhm… no, it's just…» as Nakamura lifted his head to look at Hirose, he noticed behind him (in the distance, next to the door) one of the janitors sitting at a table with some bouquets of flowers prepared for the students.
That was his chance.
«I need the bathroom!»
He declared as he stood up and put the plate on the chair and ran away.
Hirose sighed as he followed him with his gaze before looking away.
_______________________________
«200 yen»
«Huuuhhhh?? I gotta pay for that??»
The janitor didn't even blink.
«200 yen»
Nakamura tried to convince him.
«How about 100 yen?»
«200»
«150?»
«200»
«Ugh fine»
He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out 200 yen and slammed the coins on the table.
The janitor took his time inspecting the money, as if he suspected it was fake. Nakamura waited with his arms crossed and with a glare on his face.
After the janitor was finally satisfied, he gave Nakamura two yellow flowers.
Nakamura looked at the “bouquet” with irrelevance.
«That’s all?»
The janitor pointed at a a bigger bouquet and said,
«400 yen»
Nakamura's eyes twitched.
_______________________
Nakamura sighed in annoyance as he walked away from the janitor’s table with a big bouquet of yellow flowers and 600 yen less in his pocket.
He hid the bouquet behind his back as he made his way to Hirose, thinking of what to say.
“I got you this. I like you.”
Too forward.
“Yo, I found this and thought you might like it.”
Nah.
“Hey, I was thinking, these flowers match your suit! That's cool, you might as well take them, I don't need them. Oh, by the way, I'm in love with you”
No!
However, he didn't make it in time.
His grip on the bouquet loosened as he saw Hirose talking with another girl. A girl he has never seen before. It wasn't Hana. It was someone else.
Someone who was making Hirose laugh and smile.
Someone who wasn't him.
Nakamura stood still as he watched the scene unfolding in front of him.
The girl was obviously flirting with Hirose, and he didn't seem to mind. He was smiling and gesturing as he spoke. Nakamura could swear he saw him even blushing.
Right, what was he thinking?
Hirose was straight. He would never like him back.
Nevertheless…
«Excuse me»
Nakamura stepped into the conversation, grabbing Hirose's wrist with his free hand. He firmly looked at the girl, not letting his inner turmoil show up.
«Mind if I steal him for a moment?»
He didn't wait for an answer. He simply started walking away, dragging Hirose with him, who followed him obediently with an imperceptible spark in his eyes.
Nakamura stopped walking and let go of Hirose's wrist only when he made sure they were far enough.
The gym was very big, fortunately, and full of students. He lost sight of the girl.
Hirose chuckled.
«Thanks for saving me! She wouldn't go away»
Nakamura was taken aback by that statement.
«Huh…?»
«Yeah, she came up to me and started talking and didn't stop. I got so bored! I prayed you would come back soon»
Hirose took sight of the bouquet in Nakamura's hand.
«What’s that?»
«Uh! This? Uhhhhh…»
He forgot the practice he had in his mind two minutes ago. He tried to make something up without stuttering, but his face got visibly red and even his voice got higher.
«I found them for you! It's yellow, what a coincidence! Just like your suit! They would look good on you! Yeah, you should just take it, cause…»
He squeezed his eyes shut and held the bouquet out for him, his face couldn't get redder.
«Take it!»
Hirose blinked twice and gazed at the bouquet shoved in front of his face, his cheeks tinted a faint red.
He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants and reached out to take the bouquet, his fingers brushed against Nakamura's, whose stomach did a backflip at the touch.
«Thanks… you didn't have to..» Hirose looked away as he hid his face behind the flowers.
Nakamura finally opened his eyes and looked at him, although he couldn't see him.
In that moment, from the amplifiers in the corners of the gym he could hear the song they were playing at the moment.
Listen To Your Heart by Roxette.
It wasn't the romantic song he had in mind, but it gave him the courage, he felt like this was the right moment.
He gulped and clenched his fist before loosening it and wiping his palm on his jacket, as a small droplet of sweat ran down his neck.
«Uh… do you…»
He tried to shut off his mind and just let his heart speak.
«Do you want to…»
It can't be that difficult, right? He's been practicing in his room for the whole month.
Hirose took a peek at him from behind the flowers.
Nakamura gulped again, his throat felt tight and dry.
«To… d…»
Stop stuttering!
He took a deep breath.
«Do you want to dance with me?!»
He said it louder than he wanted to. He almost yelled.
Crap.
Was it too forward? Did it feel like an obligation? Was he too desperate? Did he spell the words right? Should've he added something else? Should've he rephrased it? Was his voice too loud? Did he stutter? Did he say it too quickly?
«Of course!»
Nakamura's heart skipped a beat. He lifted his head to look at him.
Hirose was smiling, he lowered the flowers to let Nakamura see his face.
«I do want to dance with you»
Nakamura's lips parted, as if he wanted to say something else, but there was nothing he needed to say. His heart started beating irregularly, it almost felt like it was about to explode or jump out of his chest. He was scared Hirose might hear it pounding.
«Yeah…?» he gulped, «Cool…»
his hand nervously reached out to take Hirose's.
«Let’s go then…»
Hirose met Nakamura's hand halfway and nodded as they started walking towards the crowd, where most students were already dancing.
That's when the song ended.
Nakamura froze. What if the next song wasn't romantic? What if they would play something goofy and ruin the moment? What if?
Luck's finally on his side.
They played a slow song, leaving the moment for the couples to sway and hold on tight to each other, while the other students protested and asked for a more lively song to dance to.
It was perfect. The perfect moment. The perfect song.
Nakamura gathered all of his courage to pull Hirose close to him, he placed his hands on his waist and guided him in a gentle sway.
Hirose wrapped his arms around Nakamura's neck, while still holding the bouquet.
They were staring into each other's eyes, and Nakamura thought he had never seen something as beautiful.
He made sure to keep his grip on his waist tight, but not too tight to make it uncomfortable. He just wanted to live the moment for as long as he could, he didn't want it to stop. He wished it could've lasted forever.
He focused on how Hirose's waist felt under his palms, on how his arms were wrapped around his neck, on the way he would willingly follow him in this romantic sway that Nakamura had been dreaming of for ages.
His eyes fell on Hirose's lips, and he suddenly remembered how dry his mouth felt a minute ago.
He tried looking away, but he was met with Hirose's eyes instead, which made him drunk with their beauty.
«I…» he cleared his throat, «I think I… have something to say…»
This was the moment. He would finally go for it.
«You know… Hirose, I… um, ever since I saw you at the entrance ceremony, I…»
He took a deep breath, «I noticed you… and I immediately felt something. Something warm, deep in my heart. Something I don't think I've ever felt before and…»
He sighed, trying to smile as he looked away
«And… I think I feel in love with you. No, actually, I know I did. I'm head over heels for you. So I was wondering if maybe… you… and I could… uh…»
He trailed off. He couldn't make himself say it out loud. Was he seriously about to ask him if he wanted to be his boyfriend? He didn't even know if he liked him back. Actually, he didn't even know if Hirose liked guys at all.
Maybe he was too forward. He couldn't say anything else.
They had stopped swaying by now, but their hands were still in each other.
«Took you long enough»
«Huh?»
Hirose was looking at him, his cheeks as red as Nakamura's. He had never seen him like this.
«I already knew you did. And I've been dropping so many hints this whole school year, I thought I was making it too obvious»
«Hints…? What…» Nakamura was baffled, but Hirose continued.
«I just wanted you to make the first move, but you were always so shy, I wondered if you've ever admitted you liked me. Sometimes I was scared to act too distant and that would've pushed you away. I've been trying so hard to make you understand that I liked you too, but you were so oblivious»
What…
Did he hear that right?
«Are you saying…»
Hirose sighed in mocked frustration.
«I’m saying I like you too!»
…
…
Nakamura's head just exploded at that point. That couldn't possibly be true. But if it really was…
Nakamura's heart was beating way too fast now, and his hands were trembling around Hirose's waist.
But it seemed like Hirose wasn't done torturing him.
Nakamura watched as Hirose's face got closer, but he couldn't understand why.
Until he did.
Hirose's lips were soft, hesitant, it was barely a brush: it was an unsure request, an unspoken question.
Nakamura's eyes went wide, his breath got caught in his throat and he couldn't breathe anymore. He stood completely still, frozen, while his face was burning at 1000°C and his heart was begging to jump out of his chest.
What he just received wasn't a kiss. It was a promise.
Hirose pulled away with a teasing but also genuine smile.
«You’re not even moving»
Nakamura wasn't sure if that was his intention, but he took it as a challenge.
His body moved on his own, shutting down completely his brain. His hand went behind Hirose's neck and before he could overthink it, he pulled him in and pressed his lips against Hirose's.
It was firm, unmoving. After two seconds it became hesitant, unsure if he should pull away or continue it.
He didn't know how to kiss someone, how to move his lips, so he just kept them still against Hirose's, committing the moment to memory, burning the feeling of their lips interlocked in his brain.
After another second Nakamura finally relaxed, the tension in his fingers loosened up and they tangled in Hirose's hair, feeling how soft it was.
Being so close to Hirose allowed Nakamura to smell his scent, and he made sure to remember that feeling too.
Although now he was at loss of breath, he was still unwilling to let go. He parted his lips and they both took a breath in each other's mouth before going back into the kiss.
Nakamura's mind lost it completely, the music was far, far away, the chatter of the students a lost memory, the gym a forgotten place.
There was only Hirose. There has always been him.
And there will always only be him.