Chapter Text
There are some things that can’t be explained.
Like why your best friend won’t break up with his on-again, off-again girlfriend. Or why everyone keeps hanging around a guy who once fed someone his own parents over sixteen dollars.
It’s just the way things are.
For Kenny McCormick, dying is one of those things he has learned to live with but will probably never understand.
But that’s life. Some people have all the luck, money, or love in the world.
Other people die and stay dead.
Kenny dies, wakes up, goes to school, and eats a Pop-Tart for dinner.
Things changed the day Kenny died again. As so often he did, he went to Hell, and met someone there.
Something seemed familiar about him. His hair was red and curly. He had angry brown eyes. His stature was small, if Kenny had to guess he wasn’t any taller than 5’6 and was crossing his arms.
“I want to speak to Satan.” demanded the boy.
Kenny watched as the other humans looked at the redhead and began to talk among themselves.
He never saw this boy before.
One of the demons sighed.
“Mr Broflovski, you will have to wait. Satan will be here tomorrow for your orientation. He’s a busy man.”
The redhead scowled.
“Well, tell him to make an exception. This is the third time I have died. I’m not given any information for why or how I can go to Heaven. Or I’ll march down there by myself.”
Kenny stared.
Another immortal being?
The demon waved his hands.
“You want someone to talk to? Talk to the boy in the hoodie.”
The boy seemed to notice him at last. The redhead blinked, then smiled at Kenny and tilted his head.
“Hey, haven’t I met you before?” he asked innocently.
Kenny shook his head.
“That’s weird. I feel like we met before,” mused the redhead before offering his hand and beaming.
“I’m Kyle.”
Flashes of red hair and armor filled Kenny’s mind. A man stood before him, removing the top half of his armor and smiling with warm brown eyes.
Then the vision shifted to a blonde woman in a homemade white dress. Her hair was pale gold, and her blue eyes gleamed with mischief. When she moved, her hair nearly fell across her eyes.
“Hasn’t anybody ever told you not to wander off in the woods? There are dangerous things out there,” scolded the knight.
The blonde smiled.
“Danger is the least of my concern, sir knight,” replied the maiden.
Kenny blinked.
He hesitantly took Kyle’s hand.
“Kenny.”
Kyle talked his ear off about how Hell’s administration needed to do better, how he had a brother in Newark he needed to watch out for and being here prevented him from doing that, and how Satan still hadn’t explained why he kept dying.
“Honestly, he’s in charge. Shouldn’t he know?” Kyle complained.
Kenny muffled a laugh beneath his hoodie.
Who goes to Hell and asks Satan to fix things?
Is Kyle a Karen?
Kenny briefly wondered if the boy ever worked customer service.
Due to his upbringing he’s had to work a couple jobs to help provide a roof over his head. His parents were too focused on fighting, drinking, or trying to have kids they couldn’t afford.
Although Kenny is grateful that he got Karen out of the deal.
“You know, I was trying to go to the bank to put in my paycheck the first time I died. Do you know how inconvenient that is? They think I misplaced it.”
Kenny snickered.
“Sometimes it’s fun though. I died getting head as a kid and then I came back to life with nothing wrong.”
Kyle stared.
“What? Did you know you would be fine if you didn’t? That’s not safe.”
He shrugged.
Kenny just wanted to get his rocks off. Why live life if you can’t enjoy it? If you are going to die-which he has-then he might as well enjoy the life he does have.
“Y-you can’t just risk your life like that.” spluttered Kyle.
Aw.
Is this kid actually concerned about him?
He took his hood off.
“You die as much as me and you learn to live a little.”
Kyle stared at him.
He turned red.
Kenny smirked.
“I know I’m good-looking, but you don’t have to be so embarrassed,” he teased, running his hands through his hair.
Kyle crossed his arms.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You just…remind me of someone,” he mumbled.
As they waited for Satan, Kenny gave a brief nod and smile.
Maybe this isn’t a coincidence after all.
Xxxxxxxxxxxx
Kyle hated dying.
It interrupted his studies.
It ruined dating. Nobody believed he’d been dead. No. They thought he’d stood them up.
To top it all off, it had just started happening, and he didn’t know why.
Then he ended up in Hell.
Because where else would the token Jewish person go?
Not Heaven!
Nooo.
The one person making the experience better was Kenny.
Even though he was a bit stupid, he was nice to look at.
Apparently, he was part of the Immortal Club too.
Though Kyle can’t help but think Kenny looks like the boy from his dreams. Literally.
He started recording his dreams as soon as it started happening frequently. The blonde changed. Sometimes he was a little boy, a woman, or a man.
The last dream Kyle remembered was the one he’d had the night before.
They were in a speakeasy. Kyle was tending the bar.
He was a woman in this one.
Her hair was still the same fiery shade of red, although she wore it in tight, carefully styled curls.
A brunette man sat at the bar speaking to Kyle, although his attention kept wandering toward the brunette singer across the room.
“Miss, I simply must know how to win over the dame. She’s beautiful,” the man slurred.
Kyle rolled her eyes.
“I’m going to have to cut you off, Stanley. This is too much even for you.”
Stanley looked at her, his blue eyes sad.
“What is your name, miss? You never told me.”
Kyle blinked.
“As I’ve told you time and time again, it’s Kathleen,” she said, wiping down the counter with annoyance.
Then a blonde man appeared. His eyes were a pale shade of blue, his hair flaxen.
He came up beside Stanley and slapped him on the back.
“Stan, man, you can’t be taking up the pretty bird’s time like that.”
Stanley sighed.
Kathleen said nothing as she continued wiping glasses, waiting for more customers to arrive.
The blonde turned toward her.
“Doll, what do you say about going out with me sometime?” he asked easily.
Stanley continued drinking, his attention fixed on the singer.
“My name is not Doll. It’s Kathleen. I suggest you learn it if you wish to speak to me.”
Kathleen hid a smile.
“But that’s so long! What about Kathy? Rolls right off the tongue.”
Kathleen made a face.
“Don’t bother. The dame is too smart for you, Kaleb.”
Kaleb winked.
“Don’t be so pessimistic, my old friend. My old pal. Kathy may act like a bearcat but I think the little lady is sweeter than she looks.”
Kyle woke before he could see how the interaction ended.
But Kenny reminded him of that man.
Kaleb.
Kyle had no idea who Stanley was. The brunette appeared in some of his dreams, but not all of them.
The blonde was different.
The blonde always seemed to come back.
Kyle couldn’t accept any of this without an explanation.
He’d fight—literally—to Hell and back if he had to.
Whatever it took, he was getting answers.